This notion that Rokugan must "accept us as we are" is Kamoko's argument - which Altansarnai repeatedly rejected until Kamoko brought Ikoma Akari, ready to commit jigai, in front of Altansarnai. The champion is shocked to learn that Ikoma Anakazu even has a wife, much less does she know anything about Anakazu's personal character for faithfulness to his spouse or Akari's own feelings. Altansarnai has no idea that Anakazu is making a personal sacrifice that risks Lion's relationship with Phoenix, a clan opposing Unicorn on the issue of meishodo, on the very eve of the new Lion champion's wedding to Isawa Kaede! Altansarnai has been kept in the darkabout all these crucial facts so that Kamoko can figuratively punch her champion in her sore spot, her love for Iuchi Daiyu. It worked and Altansarnai immediatley did a 180 degree flip on her opinion about the future of her clan vis-a-vis the Lion.
Shono is absolutely correct to feel ashamed of his mother.
Edited by Manchu