6 minutes ago, shineyorkboy said:

I also cannot shake the feeling that the weakness in the Lion's center was deliberate to bait the Crane into over committing and I wish someone had brought up that possibility in the fic itself.

Offering a bait to draw out the reserves of a foe you're pretty certain you outnumber does seem to be fairly textbook...

Isn't it also a bit strange that Hotaru was not leading the army?

OMK, I'm loving the interaction of these flawed characters. Good fiction.

Beautiful Tragedy

15 minutes ago, Manchu said:

Isn't it also a bit strange that Hotaru was not leading the army?

I can think of any number of reasons she wasn't at the battle and only just arrived that evening. My preferred reason would be a meeting with the Unicorn to coordinate their efforts, although the most likely reason would probably be that she was inspecting their position elsewhere on the front.

Though I think a more interesting scenario would be if Hotaru was in overall command and Netsu was just the general leading the reserve force and he acted on his own initiative instead of waiting for her orders. I'd kind of expect her to be angrier with him if that was the case, but the dialogue is vague enough for me to not dismiss the possibility.

Hrm... yeah, I'd like some more Hotaru goodness here. Tsukune was kinda similar, but the novelette did a whole lot to clear that up.

Kuwanan is full of himself, but I can believe he hasn't been tested... and has not been subject to the same rigour as Hotaru. Hotaru does need to woman up and put people in their places, I feel. I also, like how in between the war with the Lion, he's mainly concerned about his dad's death. 'Yeah, you would need me here being to support the war effort which we are losing, but c'mon. DAD DIED AND THE SCORPION MAY BE DOING IT! Or might not! But maybe!" His priorities are... weird.

I do wonder how the Tsuko-Kuwanan relationship/connection will progress.... it could be pretty interesting having that back channel.

That said, I really did like the opening... the Champion visiting all the soldiers, uplifting their spirits. That was a nice touch.

46 minutes ago, Manchu said:

Isn't it also a bit strange that Hotaru was not leading the army?

Presumably she is waiting somewhere convenient to take potshots with her bow at leading figures in case the Lion decide to make a reckless charge...

Or she arrived after the battle?

7 hours ago, Manchu said:

Isn't it also a bit strange that Hotaru was not leading the army?

Not really. There's a reason the Rokugani recognize titles like rikugunshokan, the general commanding a clan's army. It may be impractical for the Champion to be in command themselves--remember, they have an entire clan to run, not just militarily, but also politically, economically, administratively, etc. There may also be reasons the Champion chooses not to lead the army themselves, even if they are available to do so. They may recognize a subordinate as a superior tactician, or decide that a subordinate has more and better experience fighting a particular enemy. Finally, not all Clan Champions necessarily have the skills or temperament to properly command an army. In the more militant clans, like the Crab and Lion, the Clan Champion is often a field commander, but this isn't necessarily true for a clan such as the Crane, whose Champion may be much more politician than military commander.

In this story, we don't really get WHY Hotaru wasn't in command, just that she wasn't...but it doesn't seem to be for nefarious reasons (and was really more because we had dramatic/narrative reasons we wanted Netsu in there.)

@DGLaderoute Thanks for the insights! One of the awesome things I love about this community is how accessible the authors like yourself are. I appreciate the fact that you only have so many words available for these short fictions, and having this kind of input to "fill the gaps" so to speak really speaks volumes to the care and effort put into these stories even if those details can't be fully explicated in the story itself.

I should not have raised the point in the form of a question, It flat-out is strange that she was not personally commanding the defense. I mean, I'm not surprised that all Clan Champions don't lead Clan armies in each and every case. Rather, I think it is strange that Hotaru specifically did not lead her army in this specific battle. Because she led the defence of Toshi Ranbo when Akodo Arasou attacked. So not leading this time seems significant: what more pressing issue demanded her attention? or is she so overwhelmed as to decline command? We know she can and has led her army in the past, successfully. We know the defense of the Osari Plains is the Crane Clan's most urgent priority.

From what I gathered this lost battle had ramifications, but wasn't A Big Battle? There might have been other battles she had to be at, or perhaps overseeing things at Toshi Ranbo.

7 minutes ago, Manchu said:

I should not have raised the point in the form of a question, It flat-out is strange that she was not personally commanding the defense. I mean, I'm not surprised that all Clan Champions don't lead Clan armies in each and every case. Rather, I think it is strange that Hotaru specifically did not lead her army in this specific battle. Because she led the defence of Toshi Ranbo when Akodo Arasou attacked. So not leading this time seems significant: what more pressing issue demanded her attention? or is she so overwhelmed as to decline command? We know she can and has led her army in the past, successfully. We know the defense of the Osari Plains is the Crane Clan's most urgent priority.

Ah, ok. Well, again, regarding Hotaru and this battle specifically, we never developed a reason for her to not be in command beyond, "she wasn't, and Daidoji Netsu was". Presumably something kept her from being in command--probably something as simple as, she simply didn't arrive until after the battle had been fought (those damned Lion weren't fighting on the Crane's schedule)--but to at least put that particular matter to rest, there is otherwise no nefarious reason she wasn't commanding the army. Hotaru is carrying a lot of baggage already in this story; don't take being incapable of or unwilling to command the army as part of it!

10 minutes ago, Manchu said:

I should not have raised the point in the form of a question, It flat-out is strange that she was not personally commanding the defense. I mean, I'm not surprised that all Clan Champions don't lead Clan armies in each and every case. Rather, I think it is strange that Hotaru specifically did not lead her army in this specific battle. Because she led the defence of Toshi Ranbo when Akodo Arasou attacked. So not leading this time seems significant: what more pressing issue demanded her attention? or is she so overwhelmed as to decline command? We know she can and has led her army in the past, successfully. We know the defense of the Osari Plains is the Crane Clan's most urgent priority.

Well for starters she is overseeing the entire operation of the Clan which does depend on more than just the Osari Plains so she can't be everywhere at once. Her presence in Toshi Ranbo remember was a surprise as none of the Lion expected her to lead the counter attack that claimed Arasou's life. And frankly saying that she is a better commander than an Experienced Daidoji general (remember their primary role is to be the militant wing of the clan) would be slightly short sighted.

6 hours ago, DGLaderoute said:

Ah, ok. Well, again, regarding Hotaru and this battle specifically, we never developed a reason for her to not be in command beyond, "she wasn't, and Daidoji Netsu was". Presumably something kept her from being in command--probably something as simple as, she simply didn't arrive until after the battle had been fought (those damned Lion weren't fighting on the Crane's schedule)--but to at least put that particular matter to rest, there is otherwise no nefarious reason she wasn't commanding the army. Hotaru is carrying a lot of baggage already in this story; don't take being incapable of or unwilling to command the army as part of it!

Yeah, that is exactly what I was originally pointing out - are we readers meant to think, OK well Hotaru seems very overwhelmed now and maybe her not being in command is significant. Knowing how little words you get to work with, I sometimes wonder if what you don't explicitly include is itself a message.

14 hours ago, Manchu said:

Yeah, that is exactly what I was originally pointing out - are we readers meant to think, OK well Hotaru seems very overwhelmed now and maybe her not being in command is significant. Knowing how little words you get to work with, I sometimes wonder if what you don't explicitly include is itself a message.

Sometimes we do. When you've only got 3k or so words to work with, you definitely have to leave things out. Speaking for myself as a writer, I try to offer at least a hint or two when something that isn't included is important. In any case, I'd only offer that you be wary of getting TOO enmeshed in trying to divine things from what isn't said in a story, though, because that's going to end up being lots of things!

I like that Hotaru wasn't in command for the battle. It shrinks the narrative if the same few characters are always doing everything. Hotaru must have tons to do as clan champion, and plenty of skilled military commanders under her. She shouldn't be everywhere. Though arriving afterwards to assess the condition of her army after a major defeat does seem fitting.

I expected Kuwanan to be critical and confrontational with Hotaru. The most interesting thing about their exchange is that he doesn't tell Hotaru about Tsuko. I assume he either did that because he was too proud to admit it or because he doesn't trust Hotaru enough to bring her fully into his confidence. Probably a little from column A and a little from column B. I suppose if he did bring it up he'd just leave himself open to Hotaru suggesting Kuwanan is being manipulated by the Lion similar to how Kuwanan is implying Hotaru is being manipulated by the Scorpion. Probably a good move keeping quiet on that Kuwanan

On Hotaru's side the three things she did that was interesting to me was she didn't talk to the mercenaries, she didn't talk to the wounded, and she didn't allow her general to commit seppuku. Also she's more worried about a piece of art she needed to sell than finding out the truth about her father's death. I feel like we are being told something about Hotaru's personality here. My take away is yeah Hotaru is probably overwhelmed by her new position (she's dwelling on regret which means she is obsessing about her failures whether she wants to admit it or not), but more importantly Hotaru is ignoring things she doesn't want to deal with (or distancing herself even from things she finds upsetting). Not allowing Netsu to commit seppuku was not a kindness. If anything it would be considered cruel to deny Netsu the opportunity to repair his honor, and unwise to allow him a command again. Kuwanan is taking the typical stance on the subject so he isn't being ridiculous when criticizing Hotaru in this way.

It was a good story. Now I want a fiction where Hotaru and Tsuko face off. Not only would Tsuko hate Hotaru for obvious reasons, but they are also almost completely opposite personalities. I like that we are given that comparison between the two big leaders in the Lion/Crane conflict.

17 minutes ago, phillos said:

On Hotaru's side the three things she did that was interesting to me was she didn't talk to the mercenaries, she didn't talk to the wounded, and she didn't allow her general to commit seppuku. Also she's more worried about a piece of art she needed to sell than finding out the truth about her father's death. I feel like we are being told something about Hotaru's personality here. My take away is yeah Hotaru is probably overwhelmed by her new position (she's dwelling on regret which means she is obsessing about her failures whether she wants to admit it or not), but more importantly Hotaru is ignoring things she doesn't want to deal with (or distancing herself even from things she finds upsetting). Not allowing Netsu to commit seppuku was not a kindness. If anything it would be considered cruel to deny Netsu the opportunity to repair his honor, and unwise to allow him a command again. Kuwanan is taking the typical stance on the subject so he isn't being ridiculous when criticizing Hotaru in this way.

Just on this point i would suggest not necessarily to read too much into the not visiting the wounded in the immediate aftermath of the battle. Given the Rokugani stance on blood and the necessity to purify oneself after coming in contact with it would be highly unlikely that most individuals would expose themselves to an opportunity to be exposed to it outside of necessary settings, not to mention the fact that those injured would be expected to maintain a face that they are doing well despite what pains they may be going through in front of their Champion. Far better to let the over taxed Shugenja tend to her patients and once they have been stabilized and given the opportunity to regain a modicum of their usual "face" do your visiting.

That's a fair point.

3 hours ago, phillos said:

I like that Hotaru wasn't in command for the battle. It shrinks the narrative if the same few characters are always doing everything. Hotaru must have tons to do as clan champion, and plenty of skilled military commanders under her. She shouldn't be everywhere. Though arriving afterwards to assess the condition of her army after a major defeat does seem fitting.

I expected Kuwanan to be critical and confrontational with Hotaru. The most interesting thing about their exchange is that he doesn't tell Hotaru about Tsuko. I assume he either did that because he was too proud to admit it or because he doesn't trust Hotaru enough to bring her fully into his confidence. Probably a little from column A and a little from column B. I suppose if he did bring it up he'd just leave himself open to Hotaru suggesting Kuwanan is being manipulated by the Lion similar to how Kuwanan is implying Hotaru is being manipulated by the Scorpion. Probably a good move keeping quiet on that Kuwanan

On Hotaru's side the three things she did that was interesting to me was she didn't talk to the mercenaries, she didn't talk to the wounded, and she didn't allow her general to commit seppuku. Also she's more worried about a piece of art she needed to sell than finding out the truth about her father's death. I feel like we are being told something about Hotaru's personality here. My take away is yeah Hotaru is probably overwhelmed by her new position (she's dwelling on regret which means she is obsessing about her failures whether she wants to admit it or not), but more importantly Hotaru is ignoring things she doesn't want to deal with (or distancing herself even from things she finds upsetting). Not allowing Netsu to commit seppuku was not a kindness. If anything it would be considered cruel to deny Netsu the opportunity to repair his honor, and unwise to allow him a command again. Kuwanan is taking the typical stance on the subject so he isn't being ridiculous when criticizing Hotaru in this way.

It was a good story. Now I want a fiction where Hotaru and Tsuko face off. Not only would Tsuko hate Hotaru for obvious reasons, but they are also almost completely opposite personalities. I like that we are given that comparison between the two big leaders in the Lion/Crane conflict.

I think the reason she won't talk to the wounded is because she feels like it's her fault they're wounded to begin with, and the ronin because she's been forced to sell part of her family heritage to hire them to begin with, to fight her battles for her, which is another failure on her part. I very much get the feeling that Hotaru is dealing with feelings of inadequacy as a result of her upbringing, and all of these failures, real or percieved, are compounding the issue.

Poor girl. And then her brother shows up to tell her she sucks for not finding their father's murderer personally, and then scampers off. I'd really like to know what Hotaru could, realistically, do to find the person responsible for Satsume's death, assuming he didn't die of alcohol poisoning or something.

Remember Tsuko asked Kuwanan not to tell anyone she let him free. His not telling Hotaru is simply keeping his word.

I didn't recall that.

From Fires of Justice:

“This arrangement is still very odd,” Kuwanan admitted as he slid into the saddle with a
wince, “but I understand its wisdom. Friend or foe, perhaps it is best I remain unseen.”
“It is strange for me as well,” Tsuko admitted, passing over the reins of the animal. “But our
cause is righteous. You will disappear from Shirei Mura—”
“And appear in Kyūden Kakita with a tale of escaping my foolish rōnin captors,” Kuwanan
finished. “I am no playwright, but I should have a serviceable story assembled by the time I reach the city. And I know someone with an even greater talent for words who will be waiting
for me at the castle.” Tsuko nodded, barely perceptible in the low light, and another pause
followed: a familiar tempo.

Maybe not quite a promise and Tsuko didn't ask, but he said he wouldn't tell and would make up a story about ronin.

Well Kuwanan certainly executed that to the letter.

While I do sympathize with Hotaru I don't think Kuwanan is being completely unreasonable. She could have sent someone to investigate. I didn't have to be her personally. If it were the Scorpion or the Imperials who had Satsume murdered then how could they trust that report as he says. He is being a jerk about it though, and shooting down an order from his clan champion was incredibly disrespectful. That part surprised me. Hotaru has a mountain of problems in front of her and a serious lack of self confidence. Tsukune has a dream job compared to Hotaru right now it seems.

Well. Unlike Hotaru, Tsukune is never truly alone in the face of her troubles.

30 minutes ago, phillos said:

Well Kuwanan certainly executed that to the letter.

While I do sympathize with Hotaru I don't think Kuwanan is being completely unreasonable. She could have sent someone to investigate. I didn't have to be her personally. If it were the Scorpion or the Imperials who had Satsume murdered then how could they trust that report as he says. He is being a jerk about it though, and shooting down an order from his clan champion was incredibly disrespectful. That part surprised me. Hotaru has a mountain of problems in front of her and a serious lack of self confidence. Tsukune has a dream job compared to Hotaru right now it seems.

Or it could blow up the Magistrate's investigation. There's a reason the highest authority in an investigation usually take control over the whole thing.