Timelines

By VarniusEisen, in Fan Fiction

What follows is the prelude to a possible story line I’m thinking about running. I’d like some input if possible please, constructive criticism is always welcome but not posts saying “This is crap”.

I will say though that it will make more sense to those who have read the third Horus Heresy book.

Thank you.
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PRELUDE

Captain Siral sat on his bunk, rubbing his temples and trying to relax. It wasn't working. Every time he closed his eyes he saw flashes of the Corral city in flames and his brothers fighting. He could still hear the screams of the wounded and still smell the smoke and burnt flesh that lingered on the battlefield like a blanket.

A loud knock at the door woke him from his painful memories.

"Enter."

The haggard figure of Brother Geryon entered the room and gave a salute, his power armour casting a huge shadow.

“Sir. I’ve done my best to repair the damaged engine sections.”

“Will it hold?”

“ It should do. I’m no techmarine but I know which end of a spanner to hold.” Geryon risked an awkward smile.

“Good work.”

“Thank you sir but it’s not all good news. 2 of the capacitors on the Gellar field circuits were also damaged. Those, I can’t fix.”

“Great. So we have an engine with a big hole in it and a Gellar field that might shut down, mid jump. Emperor’s teeth, this day just gets better and better.”

***
Inquisitor Varnius sat at the table in silence and darkness. The only light coming from the two red candles to either side. He stared intently at the cards laid out in front of him, struggling to interpret the meaning of the Emperor’s tarot. Before him was “The Emperor”, looking to his left. Beside it was “The Child” inverted, with it’s back to the Emperor. Above them both was “The Marine”, laid horizontal, to apply it’s meaning the other two cards equally.

Varnius took in a deep breath before drawing three more cards. Closing his eyes he gently placed them down, one after the other, before opening his eyes.

“The Gate”, “The Leviathan”, “The Traitor”.

The meaning hit him like a thunder hammer to the head.

“Impossible”. He whispered.

***
Captain Siral paced about the bridge like predator, making the crew flinch every time he turned to face them.

The comms unit in his power armour clicked as a channel was opened. Siral stopped pacing and sat down.

“Geryon to Captain Siral. Sir I’ve diverted power from the weapons into the Gellar field. We’re all set.”

“Acknowledged.”

The captain turned to face the rest of the bridge.

“27, open a frequency to the rest of the ship.”

A green light blinked three times in the back of the servitor’s head as it pressed a few buttons and flicked a switch. An electrical hum ran the length of the ship as the amplifiers in each room and corridor came to life.

“This is Captain Siral to all astartes and personnel. We are attempting warp jump in 60 seconds. Sit down and strap yourselves in.”

He gave a nod to the crewman looking at him and the young man started the jump process.

For 59 seconds the ship waited with baited breath, among whispers of “Emperor protects us”.

The vessel lurched, throwing people about in their seats and the temperature dropped sharply. A few very long seconds later and they were through. Everyone apart from the servitors let out a collective sigh of relief.

A loud explosion tore through the engine bay as the Gellar field over-loaded and an EMP coursed through the ship like lightning, instantly killing everyone linked into it and plunging the vessel into darkness.

“DROP US OUT OF WARP. NOW!” Siral screamed at the young crewman.

The emergency power kicked in, bathing the bridge in a hellish shade of red and the boy hurriedly punched the buttons in front of him. Time distorted for, what seemed like hours, as the empyrean spat the vessel back into real-space and the “Pride of the Phoenix” drifted silently in the void.

Enjoyed reading your preview and it sounds like a promising and intriguing start to a campaign. I like your writing style. I think writing should come across naturally, like what someone would say if they were telling a story and not like they are writing a paper for an English class with dictionary in one hand and a thesaurus in the other. That does not mean it can't be descriptive and I think your story succeeds on both fronts.

i have to agree with the previous post. Good job im anxious to hear what happens next and i love the dialogue full of warhammer lingo!

Thank you for the kind words. It's always nice to get a thumbs up for your peers.

This is actually a storyline in a larger on going campaign and what happens next replies largely on wether my players jump in feet first and guns blazing or not.