Cheap Tickets

Just had to post this after action report for a home-made scenario I’ve just run, it was an absolute blast. Two new-to-wfrp players (ex D and D) and one veteran, and they requested to just get into the thick of the grim and deadly world - the D and D players particularly didn’t like those “you start off in a tavern” beginnings. So of course they did start in a tavern, quaffing ale, they just can’t remember any of it. Their nice ‘Defiant Scoundrels’ card was superseded by a temporary overlay ‘Drunken Bums’ (see below), and all their money was stolen. I love this game

Party card - Drunken bums

(this is a purpose designed Party card overlay that temporarily replaces a party’s group card for a day (or longer if they continue partying!). It has definite advantages when falling, in fearful situations and offers the party an extra die in some (lower class) social occasions. However, the party members are more prone to gaining stress from loud noises etc., and there is the possibility of developing alcoholism .

Two trackers are in use, a six step one for the stagecoach, indicating damage to its structure, at step six the coach flips over; and a ten step tracker to measure the goblin raiders morale (flee at 10).

Party members

Detlev Kanst - Ratcatcher (and Fred-the-dog)

Grim Grimnirsson - Dwarf Troll Slayer

Petra Nunce - Gambler

You wake up feeling as though a large buffalo has urinated in your mouth, and possibly then walked all over you as an encore. There is a pounding in your ears, and as you crack open one eyelid, a blinding light sends a needle of pain through your head. You open the other eye and try to sit up, making the world spins and shake around you. My God (insert favoured deity), what did you drink last night? This is the hangover to end all hangovers, the black beast of legend and madness; and still the world keeps rocking and shaking, still the pounding is in your ears.

Gradually you realize that the world really is rocking and shaking, and that the pounding you can hear really does sound like the pounding of hooves. You turn your head to the sound of dry retching, and see another figure next to you, looking, you think, even worse than you feel. Vaguely you remember him, one of a couple of chance drinking buddies from last night. You sat and drank wildly with a couple of the local coachmen, spinning a tale of your bravery, and much impressed, they'd sold you all cheap tickets for the stagecoach.

You sit up suddenly. You are lying amidst a pile of luggage, on top of a moving carriage, traveling at breakneck speed through the forest. A convulsive grab at a handrail. Two other figures are stirring next to you, one groaning and muttering in a foreign language, the other sobbing a little and clutching at their head. Discarded next to you you see your purse, turned inside out and obviously empty. Groan. A wine bottle rolls past you, spilling the last of its contents as it skitters by. A gentle sob. It starts to rain lightly. You sigh, and, rolling onto your back, look to the heavens. Could this day be any worse?

As if by magic, an arrow appears in the carriage roof next to your head, vibrating slightly. Now read on ...

Petra looks over the luggage strapped to the coach roof and sees a troop of wolf riding goblins in hot pursuit, arrows flying. The guard suddenly leaps up and yells “Watch your heads!” before discharging a blunderbuss wildly, missing everyone, but adding stress counters to the whole party. The recoil then promptly throws him off the carriage, and a slight bump marks the coach running over him. One down in the first few seconds, it’s not looking good.

More arrows fly, and everyone ducks down behind the luggage - of the party, only Detlev gets hit, but with a great lurch the coach driver, Benny, takes two arrows in his back, ( only two wounds off a critical ). He recovers, but looks bad. He then fails his drive test, due to the wounds and adds one to the coach damage tracker.

Petra replies with her pistol, and takes down one of the goblin henchmen ( add one to the morale tracker ). Grim, in a fit of genius, throws a hat case at the goblins and knocks another one of the goblins off his wolf (t wo on the tracker ). Detlev tries the same, but misses wildly, whilst Fred-the-dog yaps incessantly - another stress point to Grim.

More arrows, this time hitting no-one, and Petra fires again, also missing. Grim is again the hero of the hour, flinging a whole case of clothing over the back of the coach, blinding two of the pursuers ( three and four on the tracker ). A lurch and he almost falls off, but is saved by Detlev, who uses his turn to pull the dwarf down on the roof. Fred continues to bark wildly, but no-one accrues stress.

The goblins then reach the coach, and attempt to clamber aboard - three at the back, and one at each door. Another couple try to ride past the coach to reach the horses and halt the coach - with the coach stopped they would all be easy meat for the greenskins.

Benny the coachdriver tries to steer the coach over to the side of the track and drive the goblins on that side off, but fails his drive test again, damaging the coach further ( an average test, for fast driving [1 dice] + fancy manoeuvre [1 dice] ). Detlev and Petra both skewer a goblin apiece (five and six) and the goblins fall off the coach ( no attack for the goblins, no block/dodge plus one fortune dice ). Grim, seeing the goblins trying to reach the horses, grabs the nearest object ( Fred! ) and throws him at one of the goblins. ( A point of great emotion, Detlev is apoplectic, whilst Grim professes good riddance to the dog. I allow two fortune dice to the throw as Fred is trying to reach his target (think guided dog-missile) and add three tension counters to the party sheet. Fred hits the target (of course) and I allow Detlev a last sight of his dog trotting after the coach, to prevent internecine warfare. (Seven on the goblin morale tracker ).

Meanwhile there are screams from inside the coach. One of the passengers manages to skewer a henchman and he falls out of the coach ( eight on the tracker ), but the other is one of the goblin leaders, and he manages to get into the coach despite being stabbed. The third goblin who was climbing up the back of the coach (another leader, Razur the Black) finally gets onto the roof and prepares to attack. whilst more riders try to pass the coach.

With a little prompting, the adventurers are made to realize that allowing the goblin to reach the horses would be a bad thing. Grim, taking the whole hero thing too seriously, decides he will leap onto the horses harness and engage the goblin trying to stop the horses. A moment of high drama, and the dwarf promptly fails his average athletics test and falls off, accruing a critical wound to the head ( average test + 1 luck dice for heroic behaviour + fortune dice - he is really clumsy ). The wagons wheels miss him, and the goblins ignore him for the coach. At Detlev’s request Fred-the-dog takes a chunk out of his leg as he lies stunned on the road. ( One wound, and how we laughed - another two tension points to the party ).

With disaster facing them, the two remaining heroes decide to attack the goblin on the roof. Detlev goes first, using all the fortune points he can muster and scores an easy hit plus critical, forcing the goblin to make a falling test ( average athletics test ) which he passes. Meanwhile, one of the goblins trying to pass the coach, instead of going for the horses, decides to shoot Benny the driver. Point blank range, and its all over for Benny Bengtson. A huge lurch ( one to the coach damage tracker and another average athletics test each ) and the goblin on the roof goes over the side. Detlev also falls, but is saved by Petra.

With the death of one of their leaders ( two to the tracke r), the goblins morale finally breaks. The coach lurches about ( automatic drive fail ) and adds another to the damage tracker. The leader inside the coach dives out of the door accruing a critical but survives. The rest of the band ride off for places unknown, and Petra succeeds at a hard ride test to bring the coach under control.

The aftermath is a little hurried as we’re running out of time and the PC’s are all a bit over-excited. One of the passengers inside the coach is a sister of Shallya, and starts to tend to the wounded. Detlev searches Benny’s corpse, (“looking for his next of kin” is the excuse), and he finds a sealed letter addressed to ‘ the Graf’ . (An average test to notice the seal is imperial - fail) While the others are umm-ing and ah-ing, Grim staggers up the road, snatches the letter and opens it. “Stupid manling words!” he shouts and throws it on the ground. Petra picks it up, and notices the Imperial seal ( uh-oh ). She tries to read the message - its in code. Double uh-oh . It sinks in to them all that they have just opened a secret message to the Emperor ( another tension counter ). “Perhaps this is why the coach was attacked?” suggests Petra. “Duh, you think?” is the general reply. Absolutely wrong, its a secret message, but it gets them all further embroiled .

After the inside passengers are seen to, Maria, the Shallyan sister, comes out to tend to the adventurers. Two more of the passengers emerge, a merchant and an older woman, and start shouting about their lost possessions, and demanding payment for their luggage ( more tension counters ). The party tension meter is now at a critical level, triggering an “I need a drink” test. Petra, suprisingly, is the only one who fails, and promptly digs a small flask out of her pocket and skulls it, gaining the intoxicated condition. She then turns on the passengers and soundly berates them, whilst Grim stands behind, intimidating them into silence.

A shout and a troop of Roadwardens belatedly arrive. They have a severely injured Sammy in tow, minus blunderbuss, and give the goblin riders tracks a cursory glance. Long gone. Sammy is loaded inside and Benny’s body is strapped to the roof, while their leader listens to the complaints of the passengers about their lost luggage. He nods a lot and look serious, then winks at Detlev, before moving everyone out towards Lachenbad and the Green bottle Inn.

Finis

Part of this scenario involved the players being given handouts that were flashbacks to the previous nights drinking, supposedly at moments of great tension. Grim got two when he fell off the coach ( Benny bought lots of the drinks last night and Sammy the guard didn’t buy a drink all night, the cheapskate! ), Detlev received one when Fred was launched at a goblin ( the wine tasted funny ), and Petra got one when she failed her ‘I need a drink’ test ( Benny disappeared with a tall blonde woman halfway through the night ); there are a couple more to go didn’t the guard say we could ride for free? and how come the dog didn’t bark when we were robbed? . With all the excitement going on the PC’s just stashed the handouts for later; they’ll re-read them next session, I guess. Not sure wether perhaps I should have introduced these the next day, after the ‘Drunken Bums’ card has worn off, and not in the middle of the action.

The tension meter was absolutely brilliant, underlining the conflict between Grim and Detlev, who both played their characters to the hilt. There is already talk of dogs widdling on sleeping dwarves ( let them lie! ), muzzles and castration. Petra being perhaps on the way to developing alcoholism is a bonus - first game and she needs a drink; love it.

There was also quite a lot of tactical stuff that I missed out in the report- stances, action cards, wounds - in favour of storytelling, but the system as a whole worked beautifully.

This is great! Loved to read it. Write on and I don't have to buy commercial books anymore. I think you could earn money as an author!

I adopt this scenario idea between two adventures of my group. I play a moderately modified eye for an eye and then Noblesse Oblige and after that, before arriving in Altdorf I will try your scenario. It sounds a lot of fun!

You got my respect.

This should be stickied for "Doing It Right."

I am stealing the heck out of this for a session I'm going to run for a couple old pals from my home town who still scoff at WFRP 3E being fun. Is there more to your "drunken bums" overlay than the ten step meter and stress, etc? I'd personally love to yoink that.

Awesome stuff. Made my Tuesday morning less awful

Yeah, I've got a custom made card I'll try and find and post - at the moment I'm between computers (my old mac blew up) and am scrabbling through DataRescueTemp folders. The 'cheap tickets' scene is part of a larger story called, strangely enough 'Drunken Bums', that is supposed to be able to be run in parallel with other adventures (see below)

ADVENTURE SYNOPSIS

The merchant, Josef Karlberg of Lachenbad, is selling the departure dates and routes of the wagons of his fellow traders to a small troop of goblins (the yellow water gang). Being clever, all his contacts with the greenskins have been via an intermediary, Conrad Balck, a Roadwarden, who also supplies details of local patrols. Cleverer still, he has arranged for some of his own goods to be stolen as well, and is actively looking for (non-too-bright) adventuring types to investigate and hopefully slaughter the goblins before they can reveal too much.

Meanwhile, Josef’s wife, Carla, is having a torrid affair with the local coachman, Benny Bengtson. Hearing of the relationship, Josef informs the goblins that Benny is a secret courier carrying a fabulous trinket in his wallet, which he is sworn to defend with his life. Unfortunately, unbeknownst to Josef, Benny really is a courier, and an imperial one at that, carrying secret dispatches. Hearing of the trouble at Lachenbad, Benny has arranged for a few brave looking chaps to travel with him, by the simple expedient of getting them drunk then drugging them into unconsciousness, before loading them onto the top of the coach.

Great work!

jh

Absolutely LOVE it

I'm usually more interested in these kinds of interlude sessions. I mean, you can set up a chase with the trackers and just roll/roleplay it out, or you can make it really come to life.
I think this thing is something they might remember better than any epic battle that is to follow

Part 2 missing links

Cast

Detlev Kanst - Ratcatcher (and Fred-the-dog)

Grim Grimnirsson - Dwarf Troll Slayer

Petra Nunce - Gambler

The session starts with all three heroes in the Green Bottle Inn. Well, in the stables actually, as they have no money. Conrad Balck, one of the Roadwardens, kindly arranged for them to be fed and housed by the Innkeeper - no expense spared, eh? The three start the morning arguing about what they remembered about their drunken night ( the clues from the previous session - see below ).

Sammy the guard didn’t buy a drink all night, the cheapskate!

the wine tasted funny

Benny disappeared with a tall blonde woman halfway through the night

didn’t the guard say we could ride for free?

how come the dog didn’t bark when we were robbed? .

Benny bought lots of the drinks last night

After much discussion they decide that it was a bit unusual that Benny bought lots of drinks ( maybe he’s generous? ), and that perhaps the funny taste was a drug ( duh ); Grim claims no man-sop piss-ale could put him under the table. Petra points out it was unlikely that they’d all three climbed onto the stage to sleep, so someone, or somebodies, must have hoisted them up. They decide that they must speak to Sammy as soon as possible. Finally, Grim wonders why the dog didn’t bark when they were robbed; perhaps it knew the thief - a bit of shouting here, before Detlev points out that Fred also drinks beer - “I knew it!” cries the dwarf, “a bloody lush dog,” then mutters something about rabies. ( Note, no-one mentions the woman Benny disappeared with, quite an important adventure link. Ah well ).

Petra, having failed her ‘I need a drink’ test the previous session, is still suffering from the effects of the Drunken Bums overlay, and gains a stress counter from the shouting. She leaves the two men arguing, and goes to find Sammy in the Inn - she uses all her charms on Maria, the Shallyan sister, to wangle fifteen minutes with the guard, on the proviso she is very quiet (“ Yes please! ”). She sits peacefully with Sammy, gently questioning him about the previous night, and discovers that he had helped Benny load them onto the stagecoach. He seems a bit guilty about something, giving a sob story about saving for a wedding, and what will he do now he can’t work. Petra guesses he was the one who robbed them; when pressed, he ‘remembers’ that the driver had offered a free ride and gives Petra a refund of three silvers from his pouch. Being a bit of a softy, Petra decides not to tell the rest of the group about the theft; also she’d only had five pennies left in her pouch. ( One stress counter removed for the quiet time ).

The other two party members, in high dudgeon, split up. Grim goes to the blacksmiths, looking for the Roadwardens, whilst Detlev wanders into a few shops, just soaking up the atmosphere. Everyone seems happy to see him, a hero of the stagecoach ambush, and he gets a free pastie, as well as being pointed towards Josef Karlberg, a merchant who is looking for adventurers to deal with the goblin crisis. Grim, standing around in the blacksmiths, is far too bad tempered to be offered anything to eat, (gains a stress point due to hunger), but does meet with Conrad, the Roadwarden, who tells him about the goblin raids, and how they seem to have hit one merchant, Josef Karlberg, particularly hard. After mooching around the smithy complaining about poor craftsmanship, ( extra fate point for roleplaying ) he wanders back to the Green Bottle Inn.

There he finds Petra tucking into a huge breakfast - “Dig in, it’s on me”, she says, to avoid embarrassing questions and Grim tucks in. They are soon joined by Detlev and, whilst eating, they discuss their findings, and decide to meet with Josef the merchant ( stress counter gone from Grim, fate point added for Petra’s quick thinking ).

Before they’ve finished, the merchant comes in, looking for them. He greets them effusively, and, pleasantries over, tells them of his troubles. His wagons are being robbed, his employees are being killed and he’s in danger of becoming bankrupt. He wants the goblins dealt with decisively and painfully and he’s prepared to pay them handsomely ( “How handsomely?” asks Grim rather rudely, adding one misfortune dice to the haggling ). Petra sends Grim off to get drinks, and dickers with the merchant, eventually being promised a whole gold crown, with an advance of five shillings providing she brings him the heads of the goblin leaders. They have killed his employees, he says, and wants revenge. Bloody revenge.

At this point the players could do a number of things. Firstly they could go out and try to hunt down the goblins alone - three of them with no mounts against a band of goblins armed with bows and riding wolves. Hopefully not. Secondly they could try and get some assistance to help hunt down and kill the bandits - not a bad idea, and the Roadwardens would be more than happy to help if the players can locate the goblins. Thirdly, (the preferred option) they could look a little more deeply into the attacks, before dealing with the guilty parties.

After some discussion, the group decides to speak to the Roadwardens and enlist their help. Petra, ( being an old time wfrp player ), suspects that there is something more to this than meets the eye, and volunteers to speak to some of the other merchants as well, to see if there may be a pattern to the attacks, to help them locate the goblins lair.

Detlev and Grim visit the smithy again, but are disappointed to find that the wardens are out on patrol. Grim decides to help the blacksmith with his work, pumping the bellows, and they chat about the robberies. “Funny thing is,” remarks the smith, “the wardens were never around when the attacks occurred.” Detlev, meanwhile, wanders back to the nearby shops, asking about the attacks, and collecting rumours. The lack of money and a scrawny dog don’t help him in the higher class shops ( 1 misfortune dice ), but in the streets he talks to a couple of costermongers who Fred does tricks for, and they suggest the ambushes are, variously, i) the work of demons ( of course! ) - how else could they be lying in wait for the caravans? or ii) the work of the Roadwardens themselves! A third pedlar overhears, and disputes this, saying that Old John, one of the survivors of the last-but-one attack says they were definitely goblins. “In disguise!” retorts the other, much to everyones amusement. Detlev, amazed to hear of survivors, persists in the conversation, and discovers Old John will be in the Green Bottle that night.

Free of her two lower class companions, Petra tidies herself up and makes her way to the Golden Scales, a semi-exclusive lunching house where she had learned the local merchants ate. Bluffing her way into the establishment using the Karlsberg name, she soon ingratiates herself with two other merchants dining there, and on being informed that she and her fellows are investigating the robberies, is plied with drink and information. Josef Karlsberg is not the only trader to be losing goods, she hears, though he is thought to be one of the biggest losers. After some prying (a hard fellowship test) she learns that all of the wagons were carrying at least some arms - the merchants worry that the goblins are arming themselves ready for an attack on the town! When Petra wonders aloud how the goblins could have known about this, the two clam up and, finishing their lunch quickly, excuse themselves.

The three companions meet back at the Green Bottle Inn to discuss their findings. Grim is a little concerned about the Roadwardens - why exactly had they never been on hand to chase off the goblins? Petra suggests that if the goblins could somehow discover the contents of the wagons, finding out about the wardens patrols would be child’s play - an informer is her belief. When Detlev tells his companions about there being survivors of the attacks, Grim is disbelieving; goblins would never leave survivors, unless they were driven off. They all three decide to meet Old John that very evening, and, after hiring a room, go for a rest before the evenings carousing (“No!’ groans Petra). Lingering effects of ‘Drunken Bums’ leave her .

That evening the Inn is full, with many extra patrons present to see the heroes of the stagecoach, the goblins bane. They are bought drinks by a number of customers, anxious to bask in the adventures reflected glory, all willing to share their theories with hunters. These range from no-nonsense baseless accusations (“Mother Gert is involved. Her eyes are too close together!”) to rather interesting pondering (like “why was the stagecoach attacked?” and “if there is an informer, how do they communicate with the goblins?”). When Old John appears, he is quickly introduced to the heroes, and after Detlev buys a round of drinks, tells how his wagon was ambushed by the goblins. The first he knew about it was a flight of arrows from the woods that wounded two of the three guards, then a charge by wolf riding goblins. He and three others had turned and ran in terror at this point, making their way back to town on foot. (“Shouldn’t have happened,” muttered Grim. “They should have been hunted down and slaughtered.”). The goblins apparently ignored the survivors who fled, and just stole the wagons complete with goods, before riding off into the woods.

After so much free ale, the three companions must test for intoxication ( a hard test for Detlev and Grim as they’d not eaten too well at lunch and there is so much free stuff about. A standard test for Petra as she’d been more careful. All three fail; perhaps we’re on the way to another Drunken Bums episode? ). Whilst sitting in a booze-y haze, Conrad Balck appears, fresh from patrolling. After being bought a drink ( ! ), he quickly volunteers the Roadwardens assistance in dealing with the goblins. He then listens to the adventurers findings with interest, and adds a few theories the wardens have discussed - the goblins have some magical means of observing the wagons and themselves ( has no-one heard of Occam’s razor? ); one of the watchmen at the town gates is supplying details of the wagons as they leave ( this still dosn’t explain how the goblins manage to arrange ambushes - no-one thinks of this ). When being told of the weapons in each load, Conrad becomes genuinely concerned, and sits quiet for a time. ( Conrad is desperately trying to work out how to throw the adventurers off the track ). Once pressed, ( various tests by each player - make sure they pass as Conrad wants to tell ) Conrad pulls in his chair for secrecy, and asks how much the possible location of the goblins is worth. Consternation amongst the players, then they bargain him to three shillings. “The old mill outside town,” he whispers, “something has been seen lurking around there.” ( Conrad knows one of the goblin leaders will be there the next day, waiting for him, and intends to kill him to tidy up ).

The session ends here, ( actually a lunch break ) with the three heroes deciding to go to the old mill with Conrad the next day. I force a standard test on the players for a possible Drunken Bums effect ( the amount of booze they drank - sheesh ), which Detlev fails, but passes on a re-roll - fate point used. They retire to bed, Petra carefully hiding her money in her boot.

Well, that was interesting . There were lots of clues left about for the players to tease out about the informer, the Roadwardens, the weapons, and also the news about Benny being an Imperial agent ( they seem to be ignoring it, just hoping it will go away! ), but no-one really followed up. Perhaps the players will pick something up next session, ( the drivers funeral, a tall good-looking woman throwing herself on the grave [the merchants wife] but I have my doubts - they seem to be moving post-haste to a possibly fatal showdown with the goblins. They haven’t even asked how many there are! ). They all seem to be accepting Conrad and Josef’s story; no-one seems to have considered the whole concept of lying - a well earned reminder about just how brutal life in the Empire is on the cards, I feel. (Actually did occur - we played sessions 2 and 3 back-to-back. Let's just say they need to start looking for alternative employment ).

Thank you so much! This is awesome!

I hope you soon find the card to post it hear and continue the session log. I really want to know all about this adventure. And I will definitely use it myself: I'm planning on starting TEW with Mistaken Identity (and new characters) -- I wanted to start it already, but there are so much delays ... -- and I plan to begin the whole thing with the Drunken Bums waking up on the coach during a goblin raid. Now I only have to figure out how the chars come across the corpse of Lierbung and how I direct them to Altdorf.

I'm already a fan of your adventure, and I think you absolutely have to write it down and publish it! It's brilliant! Thanks!

I've done some cards for the 'Drunken Bums' temporary party trait using eon, but have no idea how to publish them. Help gratefully received.

Cheap tickets part three - A good day to die

Cast

Detlev Kanst - Ratcatcher (and Fred-the-dog)

Grim Grimnirsson - Dwarf Troll Slayer

Petra Nunce - Gambler

The session starts with Conrad meeting the three heroes over breakfast in the Green Bottle Inn. Something has been spotted lurking around the Old Mill, an hour or so to the west of the town, and as its in his patrol area, the Roadwarden is going to investigate. The three heroes finish their meal, and accompany Conrad out of the Inn.

An hour on a horse, but more like two on foot. Grim, Detlev and Petra trudge after the warden on his mount, saying little, whilst Fred-the-dog scampers about sniffing and peeing in delight. No-one in the party has any outdoor skills, so rely on Conrad to guide them ( the fools! ), and after a good walk, the warden halts them in some bushes a few hundred yards from the Mill. “I’m going to ride on past, like I’m going somewhere. That should keep whatever is in there in place and focused on me. Give me five minutes, then you try and sneak up.”

The adventurers nod, and watch as the Roadwarden rides slowly past the Mill and out of sight. They wait a while, then begin to move out as stealthily as they can ( I make them all take opposed checks, even though the goblin is not watching ). Grim and Detlev both fail their tests, Detlev with a bane (he falls down a hole!) and I crank the party tension up a couple of notches. They continue to creep closer, waiting for an arrow to spit one of them, when they hear the sound of clashing blades. “Buggerit!” shouts Grim and charges towards the sound of fighting, with the other two trailing behind.

They burst through some bushes and see Conrad in combat with a goblin. The greenskin, wounded, looks up and shouts a hoarse profanity. The effect on Grim is spectacular to say the least ( I push him two steps into the reckless stance immediately ), his eyes bug, he froths and screams a war cry before charging the goblin, striking wildly and killing his enemy almost at once before pounding the corpse into the ground. The other two are in awe of the dwarf, as well as being a little frightened. Petra eventually gathers the courage to ask her companion just what he’d been called, and Grim, through gritted teeth, haltingly tells her, “he called me ... one who ... one who ... reneges on a negotiated contract! ”

( The goblin in fact shouted a goblin curse, based on the Khazad word, oathbreaker - yet another example of goblins light-fingered tendencies. This word is a terrible insult to a dwarf, and even more so to a Troll Slayer, who may well be ... one who has reneged on a negotiated contract. The Goblin was actually cursing Conrad ).

After fetching his horse, Conrad suggests they remove the goblins head - Josef Karlsberg, the merchant, will want it if they want paying. An argument breaks out over who should carry it, and in the end Grim gets the unpleasant task (on the grounds that, he split it open and made it leak stuff everywhere, so he should carry it). They also find a wolf tied up in the Mill, obviously the goblins mount, which they leave.

After checking the goblins pockets (10 coppers and a bit of lint), the four are left in a quandry about how to find the rest of the goblins. “We could let the wolf go and follow it,” suggests Detlev. He is roundly shouted down, as a) how would they keep up with it? b) it might attack them and c) it would warn the rest of the goblins that something was amiss.

Conrad suggests that he might be willing to try to track them for a full share of the reward - after all, he says, I could just go and fetch the rest of my troop now and no-one would be payed. The companions agree hastily and they set off on the goblins back track - Conrad appears to be an excellent tracker ( he knows where he’s going! ), but after a while, even the three companions start to notice signs of the band - a pile of droppings here, discarded food ( no-one wonders why the tracks have never been picked up before by a halfway competent troop of Roadwardens ).

Another few hours travel through lightly wooded terrain, then Conrad stops. “They’re going to the old Mine,” he says, pointing ahead. “We can trap them there!” He gestures to a low, tree covered hill a few miles ahead. “The mine is just beyond that hill. If you continue on to it, then climb the hill silently (he looks hard at Grim here), you’ll come out on a low slope overlooking the mine workings. Position yourselves to watch them and wait for me to return with help.” He turns his horse and starts back towards town, shouting a last comment “We’ve got them! Don’t let them get away!” before galloping off.

Now what to do. The three adventurers look at one another, then decide that they might as well do what Conrad suggested. After all, two hours back to town, an hour or so to gather the troops and then a couple of hours back here - Conrad should be back with help before dusk, and they could wrap up the whole thing today! Back to the Green Bottle, for a feed, a drink and the reward by nightfall. ( This was pretty much what passed for a planning session amongst the players. You’ve got to laugh ).

The three push on, more alert than before, and starting to feel a bit less secure. They make there way up the hill, looking out for guards, and making stealth tests ( again not necessary, but it adds to the tension! ). As they carefully peer down at the mine, they can see a rough enclosure containing a pack of wolves, and a goblin watchman just inside the entrance to the mine workings, looking bored and half asleep. Petra counts the wolves carefully. “There’s only seven of them. We must have killed quite a few at the ambush!” ( Er, no, none actually, though a number were injured when they were knocked off their mounts. The Roadwardens would have confirmed it if anyone had thought to ask, there were no goblin bodies left on the road. A number of wolves ran away, though ).

Detlev gets out his sling, carefully unwinding the straps and checking his lead stones; Fred licks his hand then sneaks off to pee in excitement. Petra checks over her pistol and powder, before drawing her dueling sword and checking it’s edge. Grim, ignoring the two humans, draws his two axes and whispers to them in a loving voice, caressing the blades, whilst making shallow cuts in his forearms.

“Put it away, Grim,” mutters Detlev in a horrified voice. “We’re not going to fight them alone. Conrad can’t be too far away, and when he arrives, we’ll make short work of the goblins.” Petra agrees, and Grim settles to watch the mine, muttering that he could probably take seven by himself.

As dusk approaches, the three companions become more and more concerned about Conrad’s non appearance. Something must have gone wrong, they conclude, perhaps his horse fell or went lame; perhaps a wild animal got him; ‘perhaps he’s just chicken’ adds Grim. The party finally realize that they are on there own; there is a hurried consultation, and they decide to deal with the goblins themselves.

The plan Grim hatches is simple. Kill the guard, drive off the wolves then storm the mine and kill everyone inside. When Detlev objects, Grim points out that he’ll be doing most of the fighting, so suck it up. He agrees with poor grace. ( To be honest, the players actually worked out some good tactics - knowing the wolves may well be their worst enemies, Petra’s spare powder horn is strapped onto a flask of brandy as a makeshift firebomb to drive them off. Detlev will smash the fence, Petra will bomb the wolves and Grim will take down the goblin on watch, before taking position at the narrow mouth of the mine, and wait for the other two to join him. Hopefully they’ll be able to kill most of the goblins at the entrance - no one really fancies hunting the greenskins in the dark of the mine ).

The battle

Background - there is actually a whole tribe of goblins here, waiting to gather enough arms from Josef’s wagons before attacking the town. They have entered the old mine from deeper tunnels, unknown to the original miners, and have set up camp deeper in the complex; they have only got a few wolves, hence the relatively low number of attackers at the stagecoach ambush. Most of the goblins are standard, mixed hand weapons and short-bows with a few bucklers, but there is a core group of about twenty equipped from Josef’s stock with chain mail, spears and shields.

I set up a tracker with five spaces on it, figuring that the entrance guards would rush out, but would run after a few losses. The leader of the goblins is not stupid, and would prefer to kill his enemies from a distance, so will gather his archers in the main area of the mine before moving off to deal with any troublesome enemies. Oh, I also got so racked off with the henchmen rules that I made all the goblins NPC’s. Ouch!

The plan goes really well initially - Detlev even thinks to approach the wolves from upwind, and the three companions, sneaking through the low bushes, get quite close before the wolves become restless. Bursting from cover, Grim screams a khazalid warcry, and charges the guard, killing him instantly ( double strike plus extra dice for surprise and fighting goblins = 11 wounds, also one fatigue to Grim .) Detlev rushes over to the wolf enclosure and, using his sword, slices through the rope holding the gate closed. He backs away as the wolves start to leave their den, growling and trying to outflank him. Petra lights the bomb and moves up next to him, throwing the explosives directly at the leading wolf. It explodes and splashes onto two other wolves, who run howling in fear. The leader of the pack, however, whilst shaken, is not ready to run yet. It attacks Detlev, wounding him, but Fred prevents the wolf from going for his masters throat ( 4 wounds + a critical, converted to 5 wounds using ‘mans best friend’ ).

Grim, not willing to leave the narrow entrance to the mine ( only 4 normal sized creatures per engagement ), howls a warcry and waits for the rest of the goblins to show up ( guarded position ). Two goblins come charging up the tunnel and attack Grim, one scoring a minor cut on the dwarf’s arm (1 wound). Meanwhile Detlev attacks the wolf leader using his nimble strike action, scoring a solid hit to the creatures front leg ( 3 wounds + critical ). Petra, steadying her pistol, then places a bullet through the creatures chest, flinging it back with the impact (another 7 wounds + critical). This is too much for the wolf, and he flees, taking the rest of the pack with him.

Grim lashes out with his Troll-Feller Strike, slaying one of his opponents instantly, ( 11 wounds + critical, but a second fatigue point ). The second goblin attempts to hit Grim but fails, injuring itself in the process ( no successes, one chaos star ). Detlev, charging up from the wolf enclosure ( +1 fatigue ), moves next to Grim and sets Fred on the second goblin. He darts under the goblins sword and savages it’s leg ( 3 wounds ). Petra, loading her pistol as she approaches the mine entrance, fires her pistol over the shoulder of her companions and strikes the wounded goblin above his left eye, killing him (success, but +2 fatigue).

Again the players are unwilling to leave the entrance to the mine, and both Detlev and Grim ready themselves ( guarded position for Grim, assess the situation for Detlev and Petra ), whilst Petra reloads her pistol. With a shout, another group of goblins advance up the tunnel, more slowly this time, sheltering behind shields. Detlev steps back and pulls out his sling, but misses with his shot. Petra, showing her skills, puts a lead ball through the leading goblins shield and into the greenskin belly, leaving him gut-shot on the floor ( 6 successes! 1 critical plus 2 extra wounds. He’s gone ). The two remaining goblins charge, and engage Grim, attempting to swarm him, but only succeed in inflicting another minor cut (1 wound).

( Phil, who’s playing Grim, is beside himself now. He’s shaking four reckless dice, and seems to be killing anything that moves. He is unbeatable! ). He lets loose a mighty blow with his fist that stuns his opponent ( seven successes plus a boon! nine wounds plus a critical! ), and Petra slips stealthily behind the tottering greenskin to plant her blade firmly between his shoulder blades. The other goblin, terrified of this maniacal dwarf, turns and runs, but is brought down by Fred nipping at his heels ( I allow Detlev to ‘attempt a stunt’ as a reaction, and he succeeds in tripping the fleeing goblin ).

And now it all starts to go wrong. Grim starts down the corridor at a trot, bellowing a warsong and Detlev and Petra look at each other, then begin to follow, when Fred starts to bark. The dwarf, cursing the dog, suddenly stops ( I allow Grim an easy observation test to notice the goblins gathering in the main body of the cave due to his night vision. At least fifty goblins! ). “Back!” he cries, and a volley of arrows fly at them. Most miss, but Grim takes two arrows, (4 wounds), whilst Detlev and Petra take a hit each ( 6 wounds for Petra, but, more worryingly, 5 wounds plus another critical for Detlev - converted into 6 wounds using man’s best friend again ). Fred the dog takes an arrow trying to protect his master, and his nerve finally breaks. He runs off up the tunnel whimpering, and the three heroes follow, all the while expecting an arrow in the back.

The three shelter behind the corner at the entrance to the mine, as more arrows whip past. ( I suspect that they are finally realizing that they are in DEEP trouble, with no deux ex machina escapes on the cards. We halt the game briefly as the players try and decide what to do). There is a roar, and the sound of many goblins charging up the tunnel . Trapped! (And then it happens. One of the reasons I like this game so much, people get so involved ).

“Run!” shouts Grim, “I’ll hold them back!” Detlev and Petra look at each other in amazement. “Escape!” He shouts, and catching the others eye, he smiles. “Today is a good day to die.”

Detlev and Petra take off, running hard (We’re totting up fatigue points here), and Grim, waiting until the running greenskins are almost at the entrance, charges into the mass, slashing out with his double strike. ( Extra dice for surprise, fate points and well, just because he’s being so heroic - he is going to die, after all ). Four successes and a comet, and another one bites the dust, skull split, brains leaking out.

The goblins quickly surround Grim at the entrance, and attempt to swarm him. ( Three opponents, two extra expertise die ). They claw at him, wounding him with many small cuts ( 2 more wounds ), pressing him back against the wall of the tunnel. The first of the well armed goblins appears, and Grim, sensing a challenge, unleashes his troll feller strike, severely wounding him, but the chain mail prevents death. All three goblins attack, and using as many A/C/E die as possible, score two more wounds on the dwarf.

More well armed goblins appear, pushing their lightly armed kin aside, and again Grim attacks, slaying his wounded foe, but another greenskin steps into his place. The goblins attempt to crush Grim against the wall, and one of the spears slip through Grim’s guard, spitting his shoulder (4 wounds plus a critical - dislocated shoulder). The dwarf is now at the limit of his wounds, (all strikes are now criticals), and he begins to sing his death song.

There is a lull in the fighting, and the leader of the goblins appears, looking over the shoulder of his spearmen. He spits on the floor, “Oathbreaker,” he snarls. “Kill him”

Grim, realizing his end is here, slings one of his axes at the warlords head and charges him. The axe actually strikes! and the chieftain is flung back, wounded. Grim, charging into the wider tunnel, is spitted on the goblins spears, and, hanging from the spears, is stabbed from behind. The end is quick.

( This whole final stand was run with Grim alone - I was concerned that the others would become bored, but they turned into a support chorus for the dwarf strengthened when I told them the longer Grim held off the goblins, the better their chances of survival).

The chase

I’d sketched out a few rules in my head for a chase/hunt; moving the players every turn, but forcing the pursuers to test their tracking skill every turn - an easy test, with failure meaning they lose the trail and are removed, degrees of success moving them closer to the players. Once they occupy the same square there is a fight. Each turn the players would pick a location card, and I’d allow the players to do one thing a turn related to the card to try and throw off pursuit etc - adding dice to the tracking tests depending on how imaginative the idea. Initially I was going to allow the characters a small head-start - three paces or so, saying this was how long it took to organize the pursuit. Grim’s sacrifice made it all much more realistic.

There are five groups of five goblins tracking, armed with hand weapons and short bows (the well armed goblins won’t take part). All groups have a trained tracker with them. There is a progress marker ten steps long).

The goblins pour out of the tunnels, kicking and slashing Grim’s corpse as they pass. The chieftain, shouting orders, quickly marshals his forces and sets them off after the heroes, the mass of goblins shouting and bellowing with blood lust.

Start - step five on the tracker

The two survivors start five steps ahead of the trackers - four steps due to Grim’s heroic death, and an extra step from their running (both are at the limits of their fatigue). Petra and Detlev, realizing that they are being tracked, decide to split up, (I never even thought of that), and their pursuers divide, three groups after Detlev and two after Petra.

Step six

Both groups chasing Petra succeed easily (one extra step each), whilst one of Det’s followers gets an extra space. I let it slip that their wounds may well be helping their enemies, so both players attempt a first aid test. Failure! Petra forces a re-roll with her gamblers class talent and, bumping it up with fate points, succeeds.

Step seven

Next tracking step, all of Detlev’s pursuers succeed, the closest getting two extra advances (this group seems to have a master tracker with them) - only two spaces behind. Both of Petra’s pursuing groups pass, one getting an extra step. Three spaces clear.

Step eight

To throw off the pursuers, Petra flings her blood stained jacket into the bushes, and Detlev follows suit ( telepathy? They are several miles apart ). One of Petra’s following groups fails their test, as does one of Detlev’s, though all the others gain an extra space ( one step behind Detlev, two behind Petra )

Step nine

Petra decides to walk on stony ground, whilst Detlev wades into a shallow stream that crosses his path. All the remaining groups of goblins use their expertise to try and bump up their scores, and ... all succeed comfortably. The Ratcatcher has been caught.

Detlev dies hard. The goblins come across him whilst he is wading in the stream, and pepper him with arrows, pushing him to his wound ceiling and inflicting a critical. At the limits of his endurance, he drags himself up the stream bank and attempts to use his sling, but misses wildly. Three arrows strike him in the chest and he falls back into the stream, bleeding out into the cold water. Exit the small man from Nuln, not with a bang but a whimper.

Step ten

Whilst stopping briefly, Petra pours gunpowder from her horn onto a pile of leaves and lights it, in an attempt to throw the goblins off the track, attract a rescue or even cause a forest fire. Thick smoke billows out, confusing the tracking greenskins, and ... succeeds!

Well, that’s it. No time to finish properly as we’ve run waaaay over time, so I rule that Petra staggers on towards the town, and, at the limits of her endurance, is discovered by a farmer with his cart and is taken back to the Inn.

Aftermath.

Well, that was grueling. Phil, (Grim’s alter ego) was really quite upset by the dwarf’s big death scene; I was too, the slayer character he played was a lot of fun, and he and the ratcatcher had a fabulous hate/hate relationship. I did wonder wether I’d made the tracking rule a bit too easy for the goblins; I’d envisioned the players perhaps turning on the goblins and ambushing small groups one at a time. Ah well

reg said:

Reg...dude this is awesome. I think you played your end of it quite well, and the players did too. It's unfortunate that they didn't survive, but they also missed out on the fact that they were being duped BIG time. They essentially walked up onto the gibet willingly...what a cool gibet though! I bet your players will have a special hatred of Roadwardens from here on out though.

My guys hate mayors with a passion due to a similar situation of being screwed over by one. Now, over ten years later, any time they encounter see or otherwise interact with a mayor of ANY town they immediately start to assume he's their biggest problem and assassination is on the list of any plan.

I don't have direct access to any web hosting, but I am going to attempt to friend/PM you in the vain hopes I can get a copy of your notes/etc. This scenario of yours would be so fun to throw at my players. It would be really cool to see how it turns out from group to group, as I imagine it could turn into a fight in-town with the Roadwardens too! Awesome stuff man.

What a hilarious game write up! What happens next? Do you have two new characters?

And how are your players liking both the game (WFRP) and your game (Cheap Tickets/Drunken Bums)? Have you converted them to the joys of WFRP? How did they take their (character) deaths?

Grim ... and Grimmer

You wake feeling something cold pressed against your neck. A deep voice whispers “Try not too move too much, this is a very sharp knife.” Freeze and open your eyes slowly. A bearded face is staring down at you, pressing a blade against your jugular. There’s something vaguely familiar about the psychotic glare from under thunderous brows, the jaw clenched in constant anger, the barely controlled rage. As if reading your thoughts, the voice continues. “That was Grim, my brother. My dead brother” The face moves closer, almost touching you. “I’m Grimmer. Tell me how he died.”

I have a nice, intellectually stimulating scenario waiting to be explored by my players. Obscure facts to be winnowed from fiction, alibi’s to be inspected and destroyed, support from the major citizens in the town to be gained, hunches to be followed, perhaps even a scene in a court room. My re-incarnated players appear on the scene, and, well, I’ll leave you to discover what happened. Suffice it to say they were still really pissed about the previous session, and have been ... planning .

Petra is bedfast for a week, recovering from her wounds and a nasty infection ( I just got Signs of Faith - love the diseases! ). At one point Conrad the Roadwarden makes a very tense visit, explaining that his horse fell on the way to the town and he was knocked unconscious, lying in the woods for half a day before coming to. By the time he reached Lachenbad, Petra had staggered into the arms of a farmer and been carried into the Green Bottle Inn. He’d roused the rest of the wardens, and they’d scouted out to the Old Mine, but though there were lots of signs, the goblins were gone.

Of course this was a lot of tosh, but Petra, realizing how precarious her position was (wounded, a stranger in town, possibly accusing a well-respected member of the community), decides to play along with Conrad. A fellowship test, and Conrad appears satisfied ( a concealed test ), leaving much relieved.

Meanwhile the other two have made up two new characters in the downtime between games. Phil, who was the dwarven Troll Slayer, Grim, is now a mercenary soldier with links to the underworld. He gets an extra advance for a heroic death ( house rule ), and makes his fighter wealthy, spending his extra wealth on front and back plate armour - no more bare chests for him! Our Ratcatcher morphs into a scout, with good bow skills ( at last, some rural expertise! ). I asked them to give me some motivation for their new personas, and Phil, still smarting over his death, becomes Grim’s older brother, and the reason for him becoming a Troll Slayer ( refused to take over the family holdings, so the younger brother became a Slayer; something to do about familial contracts - dwarf stuff, go figure ). The intention is bloody revenge, of course, and the recovery of his brothers body, so Phil becomes Grim’s angry older brother ... Grimmer! Motivation for the scout, Wesley, is much less personal, he being an old friend of the dwarf, serving in the same mercenary company.

After polite introductions have been made ( see handout for Petra, above ), the three heroes swear vengeance against Grim’s slayers. and the recovery of Grim’s body. Conrad Balck is their first target, and the three visit the bar downstairs, quickly discovering that Conrad is on a sweep, and will be returning from the area of the old mine tomorrow afternoon. They retire to their rooms, sleep the sleep of the, not exactly just , more the just pissed off , then get up before dawn and sneak out of the Inn. A quick jump from the wall once the guard has gone by ( opposed test plus various bonus’s for it being dark ) and they’re away, sneaking westwards through the half light.

Grimmer and co. set up past the deserted Mill, hunkering down in the bushes, Wesley positioned near the road, the other two a little further back, and wait for the Roadwarden to appear. He duly does, riding up completely unsuspecting, and Wesley uses his longbow to shoot the horse from under him. Grimmer and Petra charge out, punching and kicking the dazed Conrad into submission, before dragging him from the roadway and gagging him. Wesley delays to removes his arrow from the horses neck ( ‘leave no evidence,’ he says ), then joins the others.

The terrified man is dragged some distance from the road, and dumped next to the mill stream before the gag is removed. Now, I expected some kind of menacing behaviour here, perhaps a beating, some vague torture, but Grimmer has Petra and Wes secure the roadwarden by binding his wrists to stakes, then he builds a fire on his chest. He sits whilst the man is half burnt, screaming in agony before dragging the fire off him and questioning him harshly ( I am a little uncomfortable with this whole thing. Grimmer is, well, nasty . I rule the roadwarden has little chance of resisting questioning, but has taken so much damage he can only answer a limited number of questions before passing out - toughness test each round, adding an extra misfortune dice each time ). The dwarf questions the man, gaining a confession of collusion with the goblins (‘ not admissible in court’ quips Wes ), and claiming Josef Karlsberg had asked him to arrange the stage attack (some surprise here from the PC’s) as well as the news that Josef’s wife was having an affair - the reason for the attack. Conrad then passes out from the pain, and Grimmer cuts his throat before kicking the body into the river.

( Oh My God! Savage but humorous Grim has morphed into a cold blooded psychotic killer. I think I’m going to have to change the party card from ‘Defiant Scoundrels’ to ‘Rampaging Face-Eating Lunatics’. I have a horrible suspicion that they are planning to simply murder whoever they suspect was the cause of Grim’s death. There goes two weeks worth of scenario planning ).

Back to town, and the three loiter just out of view near the gates, before slipping in with a farmer and his boy, assisting with a small flock of sheep. Heads down, they aim to be inconspicuous(!), and make their way back to the Inn for lunch. ( Concealed stealth checks each - Grimmer, being a dwarf and heavily armoured is noticed, of course. Nice to realize the party still retains a modicum of incompetence ).

Fresh from murder and torture, the three not-so-heroic characters settle down to discuss their next step. Grimmer is all for finding Josef’s house, slaughtering all the inhabitants and torching the place. Wes seems to think thats ok too, but Petra points out that just because Josef ordered the attack on the stagecoach, doesn’t mean that he caused Grim’s later death. It would have been nice to talk to the roadwarden a bit more, she says with a glare at Grimmer.She’s also of the opinion that there’s more to this whole thing than meets the eye. The others are unconvinced until Petra points out that as Josef is up to no good, if they find evidence, they could blackmail him for lots of money. “And then we can slaughter everyone and torch the place!” says Grimmer. Ho hum.

So the three separate, searching for evidence of malfeasance, arranging to meet later at the merchants house to try and extort some money. Petra goes back to the high class eatery, the Golden Scales, and meets Jan Vermeer, the merchant factotum for Altmark Traders again. He is properly sympathetic, and lets slip that Josef Karlsberg seems to be doing quite well, despite his losses. He also tries to implicate his friend, Totlev Gutz in nebulous illegal activities. Business rivals, concludes Petra.

Grimmer visits the Bad Boy Bridge, a hangout for crims he’s heard about at the edge of town. After some not-so-subtle threats and a bit of posturing with the local rich bad-boys ( he chops someones finger off! ) everyone’s psychopath alarms go off, and they deny all knowledge of anything to do with Josef Karlsberg, and remember dinner dates elsewhere. Interestingly, he also gets to meet a much less impressed, leather-clad shady type ( ‘call me Petal’ ) whom the locals treat with even more respect/fear than Grimmer. After a bit of alpha dog type posturing, they get on like a house on fire, and Petal confirms that Josef is not known to the wider ‘alternative trading community’, but if he might wish to become so, something could be arranged.

Wes, in keeping with his rural background, strolls into the local watch/roadwarden house. He quickly picks up that the roadwardens and the local watchmen don’t get on, and in fact despise each other. He strikes up a conversation with one of the off-duty wardens, and gets confirmation that the goblins are no longer at the old mine. When he asks about Conrad, the wardens get tight-lipped, and make excuses to leave. As they exit, one of the watchmen, listening in, mutters something about Balck being a traitor, and almost causes a fight. Wesley slips out in the confusion.

The three rendezvous outside Josef Karlsberg’s house, where Petra knocks and asks for Josef. She and her friends are taken to Josef’s study, accompanied by a burly footman/guard. Josef is properly solicitous of her health; he even offers her five shillings and his deepest condolences with regards to her companions ( I force Grimmer to make a will power check to prevent him striking the merchant ). When Petra suggests that he may wish to give her a little more than that, say twenty crowns, on account of his darling wife’s, um, habits (‘she’s been on the stage, hasn’t she?’) , he falls silent. After a little bluster, he explains that he is almost bankrupt, but asks them to return in the morning, when something can be arranged.

Feeling a little smug, the three return to the Green Bottle to listen to gossip and plan over a beer or four. The goblins are still the main topic for conversation, though Josef Karlsberg’s wife, Frieda is also on everyone’s lips. It seems that, as well as throwing herself on top of Benny Bengston’s coffin at the funeral last week ( whilst Petra was still in bed, recovering ), she has taken to leaving flowers and poems that are well ... rude , on his grave. There is a lot of nose tapping about this. Also Conrad Balck is missing, though some think he may have run off, after the happenings at the mine (a nod towards Petra here), not that he’ll be missed.

Petra finally talks to the barman, Fat Olaf, about Josef, and piling on the charm ( and money and fate points ) uncovers a goldmine of information. Benny’s affair with Josef’s wife is confirmed, as well as the weapons shipments. What’s more, Olaf claims that the weapons were going to a holding warehouse in Ubersreik, but with no named customer, nudge, nudge. (Seeing their blank faces, Olaf explains that this is often the way that less respectable customers who wish to maintain their anonymity buy goods). There’s a pause as the three translate what’s been said. “But Josef has no links with the underworld!” claims Grimmer.

“Then who,” muses Olaf, “were they meant for?”

There is a little pause before the penny finally drops. Not only did Josef arrange for the stagecoach to be attacked, he’d been selling out his own wagons ( duh! ). What’s more, they’d just told him that they were on to him!

Wasting no time, the three almost-heroes dash out of the Inn, sprinting towards the Karlsberg house. All is in darkness. “Feck it!” shouts Grimmer, and smashes in a window with his sword before throwing himself through it. The other two follow quickly. Coming across a maid, he grabs her and threatens her with his sword. “Where’s the master bedroom!” he screams, and dragging her up the stairs to the room she’s pointed out, kicks the door in and flings her in ( ‘Possible ambushes’ is Phil’s cold-blooded explanation. Who is this man I’m playing with? ). More, even louder screams, and the maid emerges with her hands covered in blood. A quick glance, and they see Frieda Karlsberg lying on the bed with her throat cut.

“Guess who’s going to get the blame for this?” mutters Petra, thinking how much easier life was when all she had to do was cheat people at cards and run away.

Wesley, quicker on the uptake than the rest, grabs a second screaming maid, and demands to know the masters whereabouts. “The warehouse. He said to leave the mistress to sleep, but he had to take a coach to Ubersreik urgently!”

Another hasty exit, this time dodging a patrol of the watch, and the heroes dash across town to the Karlsberg shipping warehouse, only getting lost once. There they find the doors of the stable wide open, and, investigating with drawn swords, find no-one inside, except a ransacked safe box, several horses and a half eaten meat pie. Grimmer stuffs what’s left of the pie in his mouth, then tells the others to grab a horse each.

Er, only problem is that he’s the only one with the ride skill, in fact he’s the only one who’s been within spitting distance of a horse in his life, other than in dodgy meat pies. Cursing, he saddles three horses and assists Petra and Wesley into the saddle, whereupon Petra promptly falls off. ( I call for a standard test the first time Wes and Petra get on a horse, then no tests for a gentle walk ). The rapid chase scene is turning into a debacle.

More cursing, and Grim manages to get his incompetent fellows heading towards the Bad Boy gate - how they miss being noticed by the watch is a miracle ( they pass a hard test to sneak through the streets. Also the watchmen are stunningly inept ).

Not that inept, though. When they reach the gates they are barred, and two watchmen stand guard, armed with halberds. “No-one h’is h’allowed to pass without h’orders from a higher h’authority!” declares the corporal on guard, rather pompously.

A brief stand-off while Grimmer fingers his sword, and Wes surreptitiously frees his bow, when suddenly Petra pulls a letter from her pocket and waves it under the watchman’s nose. “Do you recognize this seal?” she asks in a bored voice. ( It’s the coded Imperial message from the first episode. Love it! ).

The man looks hard. “H’er, h’its h’Imperial, ma’am.”

Petra sneers. “Look closer. What sort of Imperial seal?”

The man peers closer and gulps. “H’it looks to be his majesties personal seal, h’my lady.”

“It is in fact an Imperial carte blanche.” She opens the letter and waves it under the watchman’s nose, praying he can’t read ( he can’t ). “In it, his Imperial Majesty demands that all assistance from all servants of the crown be offered to the bearer.” ( A standard test using fellowship, but modified by the guards stupidity, the seal and Petra’s bare-faced cheek. Easy success ).

The man salutes and stands at attention. “H’and what can h’I do for his h’Imperial Majesty?”

Grimmer leans over and, spraying spittle, screams into the man’s face “Open the bloody gate!”

The three trot out of the gate ( a standard test for Wes and Petra ), and the gambler only just stays in the saddle ( using her professional gambler re-roll skill - urgent note from Petra; learn riding soonest ). They then head over the Bad Boy Bridge towards Ubersreik, in hot ( -ish ) pursuit of the stage.

After an hours gentle trotting under a bright moon, the stagecoach comes into view. Unwilling to push the horses ( or take more ride tests! ), the three grim cabelleros continue on at their unhurried pace, slowly closing on the fleeing stage. Suddenly there is a shout, and the stage speeds up - they have been sighted!

Nothing for it now but to gallop ( initially a hard test, then a standard test for Wes and Petra ), and, after a few wobbles, all three start to close the gap rapidly. Remarkably, the two riding novices stay on their mounts ( three successive standard ride tests ), and are soon level with the coach. Grimmer throws himself at the back of the coach ( visions of his brother similar leap in everyones minds eye ) and ... succeeds!

The dwarf pulls himself up onto the roof of the stage and, after threats and some yelling, persuades the the coach driver to stop. Wesley and Petra draw their weapons and Grimmer waits on the roof of the carriage, ready to throw himself on whoever exits the coach. A cloaked male figure emerges, clutching a small case in his arms. Petra orders him to remove his hood, and sees ... Josef’s bodyguard. “Where is he!” screams Grimmer, and throws himself into the stage. There is the sound of incoherent yelling and the smashing of fixtures. There is no-one in the cabin, and Grimmer is a little angry.

The bodyguard pales and speaks quickly. “If you mean the master, he’s heading for Nuln on a horse. He sent me to take these valuable documents on to Ubersreik for him.” He thrusts the box at Wesley. “He said he’d meet me there!”

Wes opens the box, but, containing no valuables and unable to read, he passes the contents to Petra. She reads quickly; a few shipping dockets, an order for a new wheel and several sheets of blank paper. “I think we ( she glares at Grimmer again ) have been set up. Again.”

Wes grabs the blank pages. “Invisible ink? Magical scripts? We need to get them tested.” He stuffs them into his pocket. ( No Wes, just blank paper ).

Petra disarms the bodyguard, then orders him and the driver to sit on the floor with their hands on their heads. She gestures the others over. “You do realize that we’ve just robbed a stagecoach? And we may well be accused of the murder of Frau Karlsberg? All hanging offenses.”

“And you claimed to be an Imperial Agent. That’s treason. Drawing and quartering, as well as hanging,” adds Wesley, helpfully.

“Let’s just kill ‘em!” suggests Grimmer “and they’ll blame the goblins.” Wesley is undecided, but Petra, realizing they are on a downward spiral of violence as the solution to everything, demurs. There is a heated argument, during which the bodyguard reaches for his dropped sword, but is dissuaded by Wesley’s drawn bow. Eventually they decide to steal everything worth having, on the grounds that they are going to be accused of robbery anyway, and then head off.

There follows another brief argument, while they debate their destination; Petra’s vote is for ‘far, far way’, whilst Grimmer’s is for the old mine, to search for his brothers body. Wesley, as usual is no too bothered, though somewhere with ale is preferred. Grimmer, fingering his axe, reminds Petra of the oath she swore to recover Grim’s body - an oath to a dwarf is no small thing he points out. “But I didn’t say when I’d look for the body,” remarks the gambler. Wesley agrees (again), nodding repeatedly.

Eventually Grimmer compromises. The authorities will be looking for them he agrees, so spend the next three days looking for his brother’s body, then he would consider Petra’s oath discharged. They shake upon the deal, then steal all the fittings from the wagons and load them on the stage’s horses; Wesley insists upon taking the prisoners boots and trousers ( just because, he says - there is something definitely odd about this scout ), and the three strike off westwards towards the hills and the old mine.

Aftermath

Well, again that was interesting. It seems the three players had been chatting before the game, and decided to prosecute their vendetta against the killers of Grim and Detlev with extreme prejudice. It was actually a bit difficult to GM when the players were so certain of what they wanted to do - luckily it all fell apart later and they returned to their normal bumbling ineptitude! Highlights were falling off horses and their faces when they realized that Josef was not on the coach - how I laughed.

So, to recap, the players are (or soon will be) outlaws. They have possession of a secret message from the Emperor, whose agents may well be on the way to recover it. They are on their way to a mine that may well be infested with a tribe of goblins to recover a dead body. Lastly ( I’ll spring this on them next game ) they have no food. Ah, such a grim and perilous world, you’ve got to laugh.

reg said:

And I did! I think I might find it quite frustrating GM'ing your group, but I find it hilarious reading about it.

I have to admit that when they do something absolutely ridiculous I just love it *; each episode is an adventure in lateral thinking. Having Gm'd quite a bit, I follow the adage that no plan will survive contact with the enemy, even one as inept as my players (sorry Phil and co.). The best thing is to give them enough rope and they'll definitely hang themselves. And they do, every single time.

Reg

*(- Janey (Wes) has confided to me that the reason she stole the bodyguards trousers is that she wants to get her party an infamous name - 'the trouser bandits' is her preferred moniker)

Workin’ in a coal mine

Characters

Petra Nunce, Reiklander - gambler

Grimmer Grimmson, Dwarf - mercenary

Wesley Smitt, Reiklander - scout

Getting to the mine

Following their attack on the stage, the players will be pursued by a posse of roadwardens from Lachenbad - I set up a ten space tracker for the pursuit and place a marker for the players at space 6. Fortunately, the players will be some hours ahead of their pursuers - the hunters will be unable to gain any ground on the adventurers whilst they maintain a moderate pace, unless they have an idea where the players are going. Various ruses may be used to increase or decrease the heroes lead

(Thanks to Gitzman for the use of parts of his great map - note Lachenbad is an add-on here - it’s present in Andy Law’s map, but not in others. Tax dodge, I say. )

( Well, the characters are so far off beam in terms of the scenario that I’ve just prepared key characters and places; I really have no idea where they are going. Moving between the key points is going to be down to dice rolls and old fashioned winging it. Wes and Grimmer have two advances [house rule, catching up with the gambler], whilst Petra has one. Wes and Petra chose riding - Grimmer teaching them as they go along. As its out of career, Petra only gets to half learn it, completing it on her next advance ).

The three start the session with a bit of a summary of what’s going on. I allow them a look at the map above, and they realize that they’ve got to cross the river to get to the mine, so they instantly turn their string of horses southwards, and navigating by the stars ( an easy test for the scout ), heading towards the river. They get there around dawn, and discover the river is, if not wide, pretty fast flowing. A debate ensues about how to get across; no-one can swim, and the dwarf, being a dwarf, can’t even float. They decide to swim the horses across - Wes strips off his leather armour and straps it to his horse, whilst Grimmer decides to wear his. “Five gold crowns this cost me, and anyway, if I go under, I’ll be going straight down no matter what I’m wearing.” ( Not only psychotic, but a skinflint ).

Before attempting the crossing, Wesley removes a few choice items from the stage’s horses - two oil lamps he’d hacked off the coach’s exterior and a bottle of lamp-oil, and straps them to his mount. The spare horses are loosely tied one to each players pommel, two for Grimmer, the best rider, and, choosing a suitable spot, the three brave the waters. ( All three throw in all their fate points - I think they realize that failure would be catastrophic ).

Grimmer goes first, and easily makes it across with both the spare horses. Wesley, who goes next, also makes it, but loses a horse to the current. Petra, the least skilled of the riders, comes off her horse, losing her backpack, but in a freakish stroke of luck, manages to grab her spare horse and it pulls her to safety (initially a failure, but gambler skill re-rolls to get success with both a star and a comet ). Soaking wet and shivering, Wesley quickly makes a fire, and the three settle down to warm up ( fatigue all round ).

After a bit of a doze, Wesley buries the fire and they set off. They figure there’s another few hours before the coachman and Josef’s bodyguard reach Lachenbad and organizes a posse, and anyway, they’ll be on the wrong side of the river, so aim to travel as discreetly as possible. ( Unfortunately the bodies of the lost horses will be washed up against the piers of the ‘Bad bridge, prompting inquiry. Oops. )

The three riders head towards the mine, skirting the foothills around Karak Argaraz. They keep a sharp eye out for goblin sign, but see nothing except for some several weeks old wolf tracks, and some more recent sign of horses. They follow these tracks to the mine, and spend an hour or so watching, but see nothing. “Deserted,” claims Wesley, but still sneaks down to the entrance for a scout around. Deserted it is.

The adventurers set up camp a short distance from the mouth of the mine, tying up their horses in a small copse for secrecy ( do they really think they’ll be there when they get back? ). They decide to breakfast before setting off, but realize with horror that they have no rations, beyond a squashed packet of sandwiches Wesley stole from the coachman ( oh yes, fatigue is going to be a real problem ). The meal is scant and too salty ( Grimmer ), and all too soon they set off for the mine, the dwarf leading, whilst Wes and Petra follow, carrying the oil lamps from the coach.

The mine

I used a series of mine location cards I’d made using Strange Eons to run the session underground; a mine entrance card, a glory hole card, a flooded tunnels card a mine face card and an unknown tunnel card. There are some goblins here, left behind by the fleeing yellow water tribe, as well as a couple of cave squigs. Further in there is a cave-in, where a set of deeper tunnels have been revealed; part of the old dwarven underway that connects to Karak Azgaraz. This was the route that the goblins took to enter the mine, and the way they fled after being discovered. Oh yes, also unallocated chaos stars cause a variety of mishaps, including minor cave-ins and pockets of explosive gas!

Grimmer, Petra and Wesley enter the narrow mine entrance, and Petra points out where Grim made his last stand. After a moments silence, the dwarf presses on with weapon drawn and shield raised. The two Reiklanders follow, both with their lamps lit, and continue down the gentle slope, noting broken weapons and the occasional blood stain. Ahead, the tunnel opens out into a glory hole, a man made cavern filled with the detritus of goblin occupation - animal bones, discarded clothing and a pit filled with goblin dung. “Don’t go near it,” Grimmer warns, “strange things grow in goblin ****.”

Giving the cess-pit a wide berth, they investigate the rest of the cavern, searching for Grim’s corpse, but fail to find it. “They must have taken it with them,” concludes Wesley, and the three press on into the mine.

As they descend, the tunnel becomes wetter, and side passages appear, narrow cuts that go who knows where. After ten minutes, the three are wading through water that is up to their knees (thighs for Grimmer), impeding their movement. “I hope you remember the way out,” says Petra

Grimmer sneers. “We dwarves never get lost underground.”

( “We hope,” mutters Wesley )

There is the sound of a buzzing insect, and Grimmer throws his shield up, deflecting an arrow. “Goblins!” he cries.

“Where?” shouts Petra, raising her lamp. ( The two humans are completely blind due to their poor night vision and their lights. Petra draws her pistol and Wesley his sword, both adopting a ready position ).

“I don’t know!” screams the dwarf, as another arrow whips past him, narrowly missing Wesley. “Put out the bloody lights,” he bellows, “you’re making me a target!”

The two Reiklanders are reluctant to lose their only sources of illumination, leaving them helpless. An arrow whistles out of the dark and pierces Wesley’s leather hauberk.”****!” he yells, and blows out his light. Petra, instead, places her lamp on a rocky outcrop and moves away from it, crouching down in the water to conceal herself. With the lights doused, a faint phosphorescent light can be seen from various fungi on the walls.

( I love this. Wes, Petra and Grimmer have no idea where the arrows are coming from, and are becoming increasingly hysterical. I’m allowing them hard tests to notice movement now they’ve doused their lights ).

Grimmer moves forward down the tunnel, shield raised, hoping to draw the goblins fire - the water impedes him, so he can only manage a walk. Wesley follows, bow drawn, and Petra brings up the rear, watching behind frequently. Three arrows flick out of the dark from ahead, one striking Grimmer’s shield, the others clattering of the tunnel walls. “Can you see them?” whispers the dwarf, and his companions both whisper a no.

Suddenly the light behind dims, and Petra turns to see a goblin reaching for the lamp she’d left behind. She fires, a difficult shot made easier by the light, and strikes the goblin, but knocks him over, dousing the lamp. In the aftermath of the gunshot, three more arrows whip out, and Grimmer takes a minor wound in his leg. “There!” shouts Wesley, firing his bow and missing. “Straight ahead!”

Grimmer can see nothing but charges nevertheless, tiring quickly in the water. ( Fatigue is doubled due to the flooded conditions ). Two shapes spring at him, and a muddled melee ensues, the dwarf slamming one goblin with his shield, but the other manages to slip around him and stabs him in the back.

Another goblin appears from a hidden side tunnel and attacks Wesley, but misses. The scout drops his bow and pulls out his sword and dagger and counterattacks, but he too misses his target. Petra, hearing the goblin behind splashing through the water, hurriedly reloads her pistol, and as the greenskin charges her, shoots him between the eyes. There is a long drawn out cry and he falls back, dead.

With the death of one of the goblins, the rest flee. Grimmer decides not to pursue, and the other two heroes move up to join him, gathering up dropped weapons. Wesley gives Petra the lamp to relight and digging some bandages out of his pack, begins to see to everyones wounds.

There is a faint splashing sound. “What’s that?” asks Petra. It comes again, from behind, louder this time, rather like a ball being dropped into water. They turn as one, and a massive red spherical creature, smelling strongly of dung, bounces into them. Petra and Wesley are sent sprawling into the dirty water, whilst the creature bites savagely at Grimmer, wounding him badly ( one critical wound inflicted ).

He strikes back, but the creature is too hard to hit due to its constant bouncing movement. Suddenly it throws itself backwards, hitting Petra and knocking her over again, losing both the lamp and her pistol, but fortunately missing with its bite. Wesley, emerging spluttering from the water into darkness, pulls out his dagger and attempts to stab at where he thinks the creature is, but the darkness and its weird movements defeat him. With a bellow, Grimmer throws himself at the creature, slicing its side open, and pinning it down with his sword, whilst Wesley, more through luck than judgement manages to eviscerate the immobilized creature.

As Petra drags herself from the muddy water in total darkness, she hears the now familiar splashing of a large body on water. She barely has time to shout a warning before something massive smashes into her again, knocking her newly recovered sword from her hand and inflicting a deep bite on her shoulder. She thrashes wildly as the creature stands on her, holding her underwater, desperately trying not to breathe in the filthy water, trying not to die.

And suddenly the pressure is off, and strong hands haul her out of the mud. With a strange mournful cry the creature can be heard bounding away down the tunnel, loud splashes marking every leap. Grimmer yells a few obscenities after it, but seems too exhausted to do any more.

The three heroes lean against the dripping tunnel walls, exhausted, before making another attempt to set themselves right. Wesley’s bandages are ruined, so he binds up everyone’s wounds as best he can with strips torn from Grimmer’s shirt, the only one who’s clothes are half dry. Petra empties her pistol of wet powder and re-packs it, unsure how well it will work. She then gropes around in the dark to recover the lamp, which is miraculously unbroken. A few tense moments looking for her tinderbox before she finds it and relights the lamp, before recovering the other lamp dropped further back.

As they push on, the tunnels rise a little and the water recedes. The tracks of the fleeing goblins are easily seen, and three advance cautiously. More piles of spoil are dotted around the tunnels, and a few broken tools can be seen. “Must be nearing the work face,” remarks Grimmer, and indeed, ahead can be seen a darker band of minerals across the rock face. “Coal,” says the dwarf, gathering some of the black mineral up and putting it a pile. “Make a nice fire.”

With Wesley and Petra shivering, there’s nothing to do but make a blaze to dry off in front of. Still no food, and their stomachs make their protests heard - grumbling by the two humans is quickly quashed by Grimmer. “Two more days you promised me. Do you go back on your word?” Petra and Wes grudgingly agree. ( All three are now burdened with two fatigue points from cold, exertion and lack of food ).

An hour or so later, they all feel warm enough to explore a little, and they spread out, looking for goblin sign. In a few moments their is a shout from Wesley and they gather around a small cave-in. “The tracks lead down here - there’s another tunnel,” he shouts, and clambers over the cave in. “The collapse must have revealed it.”

All three slip into the new tunnels, and Grimmer draws in a breath. They stand in a great echoing corridor, with an arched ceiling and small carvings set regularly at the apex. The walls are flat and mirror smooth, and the passage runs straight as an arrow, wide enough to take ten walking abreast. “This is dwarf work!” he says. “The Underway.”

Aftermath

Well, that was a lot of fun. I love the way the players lack of preparation comes back to bite them on the bum - no food, bad lights [how much lamp oil have they got left?], no clue about what they’re doing. And fighting in darkness with poor lillumination is really difficult and nerve wracking; even a weak enemy is a challenge in these circumstances. The players were getting quite worried, what with arrows flicking out at them, and no idea where the enemy were. And when the first squig appeared they were panic stricken. Great fun.

Scientific discovery

This has taken quite a while to get written up - my group has expanded, left, and rejoined in the meanwhile. We’ve played through the gathering storm and are now somewhere deep in the slums of Altdorf, strutting heroes all. But this is how we got there.

Characters

Petra Nunce, Reiklander - gambler

Grimmer Grimmson, Dwarf - mercenary

Wesley Smitt, Reiklander - scout

The underway

So here they are, our three heroes. Cold, wet, wounded and with no idea what they’re doing. Their lamp oil is half gone, they’ve no food, no water and they’re chasing an undetermined number of goblins in an attempt to recover a by now half-rotted corpse. What to do?

“Onwards!” cries Grimmer, leading the group to the left.

“Why not that way?” asks Petra, determined not to follow the psychotic dwarf blindly into more trouble without at least token resistance.

“That way is east.” Says the dwarf patiently. A pause. “Karak Azgaraz.” More silence. “They’ve been fighting goblins for a thousand years; anyone going that way will have to get past pit-traps, rockfalls, explosive mines and poison gas, before finally being slaughtered by angry dwarven warriors. Anyway,” says Grimmer pointing. “The tracks go that way.”

Sniggers from Wes and they set off west, following a pretty obvious mass of muddy footprints. Discarded scraps of food, bits of clothing, a broken knife and at one point a broken goblin are scattered along the route of march.

“They’re moving pretty fast,” says the scout, Wes, examining the tracks and the body more closely. “Looks like they had a bit of a falling out, too. Heads almost off this one.”

The other two gather around. “Typical greenskin blow,” sneers Grimmer, “Struck from behind. Nice slice, though, cut right through his iron collar. Then someone seems to have slit his gizzard and rummaged about a bit. Probably a bit hungry.”

An hour later Petra’s lamp starts to sputter. They refill them, emptying the oil bottle, and realize that they’ve not got enough fuel to get back to the horses. A bit of an argument here, Petra voting for trying to get as far back as possible before the lanterns fail, while the other two vote to press on. ( Oh, the blind optimism of those who’ve already died once - two to the party tension meter ). They rest for a short while in the dark, but due to lack of food, only recover one fatigue point. Miserable, they press onwards, only using one lamp to save fuel, the two humans huddled close and tripping frequently, picking themselves up with varied curses.

“Make more noise, why don’t you,” sneers the dwarf. “It’s not as though were trying to sneak up on anyone!” ( Another point to the tension meter ).

“Listen here, Shorty,” ( another tension point ), growls Petra, “we’re stumbling along a dead straight tunnel holding up a light that can be seen a mile off. ( Another point as Wes looks around worriedly ). We’re probably outnumbered ten-to-one, we’re cold, we’re hungry and we’re looking for a half rotted corpse that was probably dumped back in the mine. It doesn’t matter wether we’re totally, unbelievably, exceptionally frigging inaudible, WE ARE GOING TO DIE!”

( And trigger the tension meter - fatigue and stress all round as the party squares up to each other. )

There is a short, sharp argument, both in- and out- of character, when an unknown voice butts in. “She’s quite right, you know. You will all die.”

The party whips swords out of sheaths and stands back to back. A short, square figure steps forward, heavily armoured, carrying a huge axe. Behind the squat shape half a dozen more figures can be seen, pointing crossbows at the heroes.

“A bloody Dwarf!” hisses Petra.

The figure grins, showing gold-plated teeth in the lamplight. “ Mr Bloody Dwarf to you, Slim.” He steps forward and quizzes Grimmer in the dwarf tongue, full of sharp vowels and glottal stops. More conversation, some heated, lots of waving hands then the dwarf spits out a word, and the crossbows are lowered. Grimmer takes Petra and Wes aside.

(Originally the players weren’t meant to meet the Ironbreakers for some time, but the arguments against continuing were getting pretty powerful, so I bumped up the appearance of some possible allies a bit, and sped up the storyline. Grimmer, using the vengeance for fallen kin gambit, and being a fellow dwarf, easily charms the Leader of the Ironbreakers).

“These dwarfs have been tracking the goblins for some time now, seems they’re up to no good. And there’s good news, there’s better news and there’s brilliant news.” Grimmer smiles, waiting for encouragement. Nothing.

“The good news is that there’s only about thirty of the goblins. The better news is that Goldtooth over there,” he gestures over his shoulder with a thumb, “says we can join him in killing them all. And the best news is that he thinks Grim is with them!” He nods with excitement.

“Yay,” mutters Petra, clearly underjoyed.

“When you say with them,” asks Wesley, “do you mean with them. Like, not dead but willing? Or do you mean a shambling undead horror type of with ?” He looks at his companion questioningly.

“I mean as in my-dead-brother-who’s-cut-up-and-strapped-to-a-banner-like-a-piece-of-offal-type-with!” bellows Grimmer.

“Ah,” says Wesley. “That type of with. Dead with.”

The discussion is interrupted by the squad of dwarves settling down to eat. Seeing the hungry looks on the companions faces, Goldtooth digs out a packet of food and slings it to Petra. “Try this. It’ll put hairs on yer chest.” Goldtooth’s companions snigger and nudge each other, before pulling out blankets and settling down for the night.

After wolfing down the vaguely sausage like travel food (recover all fatigue and 1 wound each) , the heroes decide to sleep too. Grimmer, being an old campaigner, lies down, farts thunderously and passes out almost at once. Wesley, knowing the dwarf from old, positions himself some distance from Grimmer’s rear, and is soon asleep too. Petra, finding herself too close to the noxious dwarf, gets up and wanders around. In the dim light of the dwarves night lamp, only Goldtooth, crouched over some small instrument, and a lookout seem to be awake. She approaches the leader.

“What’cha doin’?” she asks nonchalantly, trying to see what he’s looking at.

To her surprise, the dwarf waves her over. They chat for a while, and Petra discovers that the dwarf, as well as being a warrior, is also some kind of a scientist, a practical anthropologist he calls himself. ( Petra pulls out all the stops to charm Goldtooth, throwing in fate points, luck and smiling incessantly. I don’t tell her that, as part of his anthropologic background, the dwarf has a rather unhealthy interest in females of other species. Also, as Grimmer might have told her if he hadn’t been in such a snit, in dwarf society, the acceptance of a cooked ram’s pizzle (the rather chewy sausage they’d eaten earlier) by a woman from a man is often seen as the first step on the path to courtship).

“Is it useful, this practical anthropology?” she asks, unaware of all the undercurrents.

Goldtooth considers her for a moment. My God, a female human under the age of fifty, seemingly in possession of her wits who seems interested not only in him but his work! How to keep her talking? He points at a box-like contraption in front of him. It contains a dial and some kind of a plumb bob, a sphere suspended on copper wire. “What do you make of it?” he asks.

Petra examines the instrument; she’s seen something like this before. “A compass?” she hazards.

Goldtooth nods in near ecstasy. Knowledgeable too! “Partly,” he agrees. “What about this bit?” He points at the plumb bob. The sphere appears to be offset a little, swinging towards the corridor. Seeing Petra’s blank look, he starts to explain.

“You know how goblins and the like seem to go crazy every now and then, they swarm together, getting angry and really vicious?” Petra nods. She’s heard of the great orc Waaghs! “Well, when this happens, the greenskins get kind of attracted to each other. Not, of course in that kind of a way.” He laughs and pats Petra on the knee, then continues in a lecturing kind of tone. “This attraction is present in every bit of the creature, and can be measured as a pull towards the source of the disturbance.” He waits until Petra nods understanding.

“But how to use this snippet of knowledge?” he shakes his head in mock bewilderment and shuffles closer to the gambler. “This is where practical anthropology comes into its own. Say you take a bit of the goblin - a piece of the heart for example - and suspend it on a line.” He opens the weight on the plumb bob, revealing a hollow space containing a blob of green flesh, then closes it up again. “The irresistible attraction between the greenskin and its fellows stimulates the instrument,“ A squeeze of Petra’s knee and a raised eyebrow. “It wishes to get closer to its attractor. Much, much, closer.” He’s practically sitting in the gamblers lap now. “ Voila , you have a waagh! detector. A Bawaaghometer* I call it.” He leaves his hand on Petra’s knee and moves his face closer to hers.

The gambler is in a quandry. On the one hand, Goldtooth and his men are the only thing standing between the companions and possible death. On the other hand the dwarf is short, repulsive, halitotic and, well, a dwarf. ( Cries of ‘take one for the team!’ by Phil (Grimmers alter ego) are not helpful and are punished with a couple of tension points ). Petra takes Goldtooth’s hand and smiles at him, before twisting it up his back and, whipping out a dagger, presses it against his neck. She whispers something obscene and bloodthirsty in his ear, then glances around at the rest of the company of dwarves. Now she’s done this she’s not sure what to do next. If Goldtooth gets really angry, how the hell is she going to get out of this?

One of the sleeping dwarves moves a little, then another makes a sound, then another, almost a guffaw. Suddenly all the dwarves are sitting up laughing uproariously and pointing at Goldtooth and Petra. “Put the wee pervert down, girlie. He’s harmless. Just a bit of an itch he’s got from all that study.”

Eventually everyone calms down, and they settle for the night. Goldtooth is furious, but is calmed down by the other dwarves, and Wes and Grimmer find the whole thing hilarious. Petra positions herself well away from both the amorous Goldtooth and the noxious Grimmer and, slipping her pistol under her carry sack, falls into a fitful sleep.

*I made a special item card for this. Not very useful, but really, really fun .

The waaagh!

After a poor sleep the companions are woken by the Ironbreakers. They share some rock-like travel bread ( no more ram’s pizzle! ), then set out along the underway. The dwarves wont let the humans use a torch, and they endure several hours of staggering along holding onto one of the dwarves belts before there is a break and a little lamplight.

The party find themselves in a widening of the underway, with two side passages leading away on either side. Goldtooth digs out the bawaaghometer and fiddles with it, trying to locate the goblins.

“Just look at the bloody tracks,” mutters Wes, pointing towards the left hand passage. Goldtooth fiddles some more, and the plumb bob twitches, then whips around in circles, wrapping itself around the scientists finger and tightening suddenly. Goldtooth manages to free himself with much effort, and curses, dripping blood from a heavily sliced finger, before kicking the box across the floor. “Bloody stupid idea,” he mutters. Predictably the rest of the party find this hilarious. “Close then?” asks Grimmer, with a straight face.

Suddenly one of the dwarves shushes the party, and points towards the doorway Wes had indicated. There’s the sound of an argument, and two goblins stagger through the opening, biting and kicking each other. They look up briefly in surprise at the company, then are hit by six crossbow bolts and expire messily. “That way, then,” notes one of the dwarves.

A ten minute climb up some crumbling steps and they emerge from a narrow cave overlooking a clearing. The place is full of goblins; screaming, shouting, fighting greenskins, eating, puking, singing in total abandon, several hundred all told. Wesley gasps in alarm as one of the goblins slowly rises off the floor, feet kicking, to hang unsupported above the screaming crowd. His head explodes suddenly, spraying blood and brains everywhere, to much hilarity.

Goldtooth starts to look serious. “Oh yeah, a Waagh!’s building here.” He nods towards one of the warriors, who quickly sheds all his armour, turns and starts running down the steps. “We’re going to need reinforcements to crush this before any of the big boys join.” He gestures the heroes over, and points towards the goblin maelstrom below. The danger seems to have made him forget his anger with Petra. “A rare sight; hopefully not our last. Someone down there is the focus for all this. If we can kill them, we can stop it dead.” He points at a group of three figures, unusual for goblins in that they carry no weapons. They begin dancing around, surrounded by a green nimbus of power. “Them, you think?”

(We’re building party tension points again. No-one, not even Grimmer wants to be around this madness when it breaks. A hurried consultation between the players).

“We’ll scout about a bit, ok?” suggests Petra. When Goldtooth says nothing, the three quickly gather their belongings and start to move along the edge of the clearing. “I did not sign on for this,” hisses Petra as they move off.

“Me neither,” agrees Wesley, surprisingly, “There’s bloody hundreds of the buggers.”

Grimmer looks a little put out by this betrayal from his closest companion. He considers. “Alright,” he says. “Let’s find out if Grim’s body really is down there. If it’s not we’ll head back to the mine and leave Goldtooth to it. If it is, we can wait till the rest of the dwarves arrive, then slip in under cover of the fighting, cut down the body and be off back down the tunnel in seconds.” The other two still look dubious. This has to be one of the worst plans they have ever heard. Grimmer realizes there is near mutiny in the ranks. “You two can stay in cover whilst I do the fighting - just shoot anything that comes near me. If I get killed you can leg it.” Petra snorts; as if they’d do anything else.

A rough plan decided, Wesley slips away to scout out the rest of the goblin scrum. Luckily they are so engrossed by the building Waagh! they don’t think to set guards. He soon returns with the news that there is the half naked body of a dwarf hanging on a crude cross at the back of the gathering - a banner of some sort, he reckons. There are a few goblins lying around nearby, but that’s all.

Grimmer slips away to tell the rest of the dwarves their plans - a ferocious attack in the goblins rear whilst they’re engaged at the front is how he puts it, and surprisingly Goldtooth agrees ( he wishes to keep his ‘humie hellcat’ safe for further wooing ). The mercenary returns with the news that the rest of the dwarves should be arriving in a four or five hours, and they’ll be attacking at once before the Waagh! grows any more. The players spend the intervening time binding their wounds and resting (successful first aid tests by Wesley to recover a wound point each, remove all fatigue and stress and reset party tension counter to zero). Next stop goblin city.

(Well, that went better than expected. The crew finally seem to have realized that they can’t fight their way through an endless array of foes, and all three seem to have really enjoyed the more more social side of the game - a love sick dwarven scientist with a penchant for inter-species relationships and a passion for dissecting goblins made an interesting character. The stuff about Waaghs! just kind of developed as we went along as the players talked about it - a couple of them have scientific backgrounds so really enjoyed nutting it out. As it’s all speculation, I’ll have no compunction about changing it completely at some later date. Oh yes, I forgot to mention, after the Bawaaghometer was kicked across the corridor, Wesley (he of the klepto tendencies) ‘recovered’ it).

Back from the dead (7)

It was the biggest orc any of them had ever seen. Fully eight foot tall if an inch, and almost as broad across. It’s piggy red eyes were almost lost in the scar tissue that was it’s face, and it’s lower teeth were so long they had cut grooves the length of it’s cheeks. It’s body was covered in heavy iron plates at least an inch thick, held in place by chains, and, what seemed in some places to be rivets sunk directly into it’s flesh. One arm held a massive battle axe so sharp it hurt the eye to see, the other held a huge club wrenched from a tree, blackened with age and encrusted blood.

The monster lifted it’s head and sniffed the air as if scenting them. It turned to face them, stretching it’s impossibly long arms sideways, faint green after-images of power trailing from its weapons, then grinned.

“KILL!”

Characters

Petra Nunce, Reiklander - gambler

Grimmer Grimmson, Dwarf - mercenary

Wesley Smitt, Reiklander - scout

At last! I have my party exactly where I want them. I know what they’re going to do next, and can (for once), plan on surprising them. We’ve got a fourth player joining the group, very confusingly he’s the brother of Phil, who plays Grimmer; he’s played before, and wants to play a more advanced character, so I’m aiming on introducing him about halfway through the session - until then he’s commanding the Ironbreakers.

(Note: this episode is very combat heavy, and as well as the WFRP rules I used a modified set of WFB rules for the Ironbreakers and quite a lot of winging it. I suspect I may have made a few errors with the combats, but it all worked out so extra-ordinarily well that I can live with that).

Around dawn the next day, Wesley woke the others. “I think it’s time,” he said pointing to where Goldtooth could be seen waving to them. When Wes waved back, the dwarf crept back into the bushes.

The goblin-riot was still going strong, and the scout led his two companions along the tree line to a point almost opposite where the Ironbreakers were. He slid his head carefully out of the bushes and pointed towards the rear of the mass of greenskins. “There,” he said, pointing to a figure hanging from a wooden cross. “I think the bodies chained on or something.” He looked carefully at the corpses surroundings. “Only a couple of goblins; there might be more behind that boulder.” He indicated a large grey shape at the base of the cross. “That’s strange ... “ he began, but was cut off by a loud explosion. A black projectile flew from the dwarves position, trailing smoke, landing amongst the rioting goblins. A moments stillness, everyone holding their breath, then an eruption of flame and bodies flew everywhere.

“Oh yes!” muttered Grimmer, punching the sky. A horn sounded and a volley of crossbow bolts hit the goblins standing stunned by the explosion. A second horn note, and, with a great roar, forty or so heavily armoured dwarves charged down the hillside, plunging into the disorganized greenskins and cutting them down where they stood.

After the initial shock of the attack, the goblins began to move towards the dwarves. More shells hit them, throwing bodies everywhere, but the horde kept moving, closing on the Ironbreakers in a screaming mass. A faint nimbus of power began to appear around one or two members of the mob.

“Come on!” screamed Grimmer, bursting out of the bushes towards a couple of goblins who were standing around Grim’s corpse. Wesley, taking his time, fires his longbow, striking one of them in the back ( accurate shot - Wes throws in two stress points and scores a massive nine wounds ). Petra, having only a short ranged pistol, realizes that Grimmer’s suggestion that she stay back in the bushes and shoot whilst he attacks is not going to work. Screaming “Feeeeeck,” she charges out after the dwarf, stopping at close range to the wounded goblin, easily despatching him with a shot to the head ( one extra fortune dice as he’s injured ). Grimmer, bypassing the dead goblin, slams into his companion, but misses with a mighty strike, driving his axe deep into the ground, and slipping to one knee.

Oh yes, this is what we want, disasters on round one! Grimmer and Petra are burning up fatigue to get close, and I give all three players initiative due to surprise. They use it well, Petra and Wes putting one of their foes down immediately. Grimmer, the melee specialist, throws a chaos star, and is down, hopefully not for the count.

Two goblins attack Grimmer, and one hits him in the side. The dwarves high toughness and his heavy armour dulls the strike ( only two wounds ) which he shrugs off, climbing to his feet. An arrow flies over his shoulder, wounding one of his foes, and a pistol ball whips past, missing everyone. Grimmer strikes the wounded greenskin a deadly blow (10 wounds and he’s gone!), but takes another blow from his second foe ( another two wounds ), who seems remarkably staunch for a goblin ( the effect of the Waagh! ).

Meanwhile the Ironbreakers are not having it all their own way. Though the goblins are dying in droves, they keep throwing themselves forward, dragging their heavily armoured foes down. Arrows and spears are starting to fly from the goblins ranks, targeting the mortar, and a couple of the goblin magic users seem to be ‘charging up’ for an attack.

Both Wesley and Petra hit with their shots, and the final goblin flies back, green fluid leaking from its pierced body. Grimmer steps over the corpse and starts to move towards the body of his brother, waving at Petra to watch out for more goblins.

Then the boulder next to Grim’s body moves. It unbends and throws back a grey cloak, before stretching upwards, six, seven, eight feet. It’s an orc. A very big orc. A very very big orc.

“Holy mother of God,” breathes Petra, “I’m not fighting that until I hear it talk!” ( An old Spike Milligan joke, but we all got it ).

Grimmer swallows. “The bigger they are ... “

“The quicker they bloody kill you,” mutters Wes.

The orc opens its arms wide and lets out a terrifying roar. An arrow strikes it in the middle of the chest, rapidly followed by another. ( “Not very sporting, I know,” says Wes with a shrug, then looks on in disbelief as the orcs massive armour and toughness reduces it to two single wounds! ). A gunshot, and a pistol ball strikes the giant creature, again with negligible effect ( again only one wound ). “Aaaargh!” screams Grimmer, ever the one for a pithy rejoinder, and slams his axe into the creature, splitting one of the iron scales ( a wound and a critical! Go the team! ).

In response the orc lashes out with both weapons. Grimmer attempts to parry, but fails and is flung back wounded and bleeding ( double strike, Grimmer is now on zero wounds and has another critical! I have a bad feeling; perhaps the two brothers will meet sooner than expected. Note the orc is adding two fortune die due to the effects of the Waagh! ).

Wesley hits again with his longbow, his arrow piercing the orc deeply ( another crit! ). Petra, realizing that Grimmer needs help, moves in behind the orc and attempts to backstab him, but fails to properly penetrate the beasts thick armour ( only 1 wound - Petra was cleverly trying to use the backstab cards ‘ignore armour’ effect but failed ). Grimmer, shaking his head to clear it, charges the creature with his shield, attempting to knock it over but fails, rebounding from the creatures great bulk ( scores only one wound ).

Faster than anyone would have thought possible, the beast turns and strikes out at Petra with a huge, death-dealing blow. By some fluke she manages to half parry the blow but is badly hurt ( 7 wounds! ) - the gamblers light armour is no match for the orcs great strength ( initially the orc scored a massive three crits as well as the wounds, and it looked like curtains for Petra. A hasty examination of her cards came up with her gamblers re-roll skill, and reduced it to a normal hit and one critical .)

Over at the Ironbreakers, things are going from bad to worse. A brief burst of laughter when one of the goblin shaman’s heads explodes is cut off when the other conjures a huge green foot that stomps the mortar flat. Orcs start to appear amongst the goblins and, as more dwarves fall, both ends of the line of warriors start to curve inwards as the greenskins begin to envelop them.

There is a brief moment whilst the three heroes pant, swear and bleed. Strangely, the creature seems unwilling to step away from the corpse-standard to attack, waving his weapons threateningly. Again Wesley fires, but misses for the first time this combat. Grimmer, realizing the end may be near, attacks again, striking the creature hard, but again most of the force of the blow is absorbed by the massive armour ( throwing in fortune points, the ‘mercenary’ attribute and describing a particularly devious reverse attack for an extra fortune dice - still only 1 wound ). Simultaneously, Petra attacks from the side, slipping in to slice her sword under the orcs helm, clearly hurting him. ( Nimble strike, plus the Reiklander’s ‘favoured by fate’ fortune throw, plus fortune points - 1 wound, plus a critical plus the orc gains the staggered condition. Go girl! ).

Time stands still as the great orc raises his weapons to attack ( I force a break for a drink. How the players hated it! ). Suddenly there is a splintering sound and a length of chain appears around the creatures throat, wrapping tight. A crazed face appeared over the orcs shoulder, screaming “DIE! DIE! DIE!”

“Holy s#@t!” says Wes. “It’s Grim!”

(Oh yes, the man (sic) with no fear and very little brain is back - Not Dead, Merely Sleeping. Grim makes a difficult ‘perform a stunt action’ to whip the chain around the orcs neck whilst hanging from the cross; he too is adding two fortune die for the effects of the Waaagh!, plus fortune points, kitchen sink etc. I rule the throttling effect of the chain is dealing three wounds per turn to the orc - much better than the others have been doing!)

Seemingly oblivious of the Slayer hanging from his neck, the orc strikes out at Grimmer, attempting to finish him. The mercenary, realizing his perilous state, attempts to block the blow with both his axe and shield, and manages to avoid any damage as the greenskin is pulled to a stop by Grim, who’s legs are still attached to the standard by heavy chains! ( Grimmer throws in parry and improved block, whilst the orc gains two black die from Grim still being attached to the cross. Grim gains two wounds on account of his legs almost being pulled out of their sockets - when he complains I suggest he can just let go. He declines ).

Grimmer unleashes a crushing counterblow, hurting the creature (one wound and one crit), whilst both Petra and Wesley fire their ranged weapons, Wes managing to find a gap in the orcs armour. Grim hangs on, slowly choking the life out of the great beast, but still it will not die!

Meanwhile, Goldtooth’s brave band are surrounded by greenskins. The mortar is destroyed, their crossbowmen are scattered and the surviving shaman has whipped the Waaagh into a berserk frenzy. The dwarves prepare to sell their lives dearly.

Finally realizing that it is the slayer that is killing it, the orc throws itself backwards against the standard, the wooden upright breaking, and landing on Grim. This frees Grim’s feet but forces him to release his foe. Before the orc can move, Grimmer leaps forward, unleashing a thunderous blow that shatters the beasts skull, and it expires messily.

Silence, as the heroes look at each other, then a voice comes from under the monster. “Excuse me, but do you know there’s an orc on my chest?”

Petra coughs. “You hum it son, I’ll play it.”

With the death of their leader, the goblins panicked and fled. The shaman, cut off from the power of his fellows also turned tail and ran away. A few orcs continued to fight, but were butchered where they stood. Victory!

Postscript

The four heroes were sitting in the tunnels of the underway, wounds dressed and full of wine and good food (Goldtooth had offered Petra more sausage but she’d declined). The dwarves had sworn eternal brotherhood with them all, and they were all lying around small braziers they’d set up to cook on, singing very bad songs. Grim and Grimmer were pointedly ignoring each other; some peculiarly dwarvish family sulking thing the two humans guessed.

Bored with the brooding dwarves, Wesley delved into his bag, and dug something out. He pulled a face.

“What’cha got there?” asked Petra.

“Oh, just something old Goldie didn’t want,” said Wes with a half smile. He carefully kept the object out of the fire light.

“Hell, that’s his bawaaghometer! He wouldn’t give that up! You’re a bloody tea-leaf, Wes, I’m making sure I keep my purse well hidden from now on!” She stopped when she noticed Wes’s perplexed face.

“Well, will you look at that!” he said.

She moved over a little, and saw the small leather case, the familiar compass dial, then started when she saw the plumb bob. “Oh s@#t!” she said softly, looking at the wire, which was stretched horizontal. She followed the line of the copper cable with her eye, across the tunnel directly towards the sulking Troll slayer.

“Er Grim,” she called, drawing his attention. “I think we have a problem.”

(Well that went extra-ordinarily well. I gave the orc leader a few advantages - extra wounds, strength and toughness points, super thick armour, two fortune die for the Waaagh! energy and a full compliment of action cards, and he nearly did for my players single-handedly! I’d decided that the Waaagh! energy was centred in Grim, and the orc would be unwilling to move away from him - hopefully the players would realize this and pepper him from a distance before forcing him to attack and lose his advantage. Didn’t happen. Admittedly they had some really bad dice rolls, but sheesh! he was tough. The players being on the receiving end of someone who could take them down in one strike for once, was unnerving for them.

I also arranged for the reappearance of Grim to be at a suitably dramatic point. As to the postscript and the Waagh! charged Slayer, I just don’t know, just seemed a good idea when I knew Wes had nicked the bawaaghometer. Perhaps it’ll wear off, who knows.

Ha ha! Very funny! Especially the session where they met the dwarf party!

Thank you so much for this full-bodied report. It's a great inspiration (if perhaps at the expense of my players), and spending the day reading through it has me brainstorming a few extra twists and pacing changes for the next session I host.

Maps

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Here finally is the map of the Cheap Tickets scenario. OMG the effort to get it to appear - convert it to JPG in gimp then import. Painful.

I love your storytelling and the mix of action with humour ...as well as your sidenotes regarding your surprise at which kind of clever / less-clever ideas the party comes up with.... I will be sure to look for future updates !!

Yeah, this is good stuff. And the horribly mundane death of Grimmer, just as escape seemed certain... that's the sort of thing that WFRP is all about, for my money.

Thanks. I must admit to feeling a bit bad about the death - we'd all agreed in a jokey kind of way that dwarves couldn't swim, so you'd better not fall in, ho ho. Then Grimmer goes and bangs his head, and I realised that he'd just go straight down. Not a very heroic death at all.