I've got a game coming up in a couple of weeks and I'm hoping the community might be able to assist with something. In the game, the 12 year old daughter of a pivotal NPC enjoys sadane - the Rokugani game of insults (like all 12 year olds do, I suspect). My plan is that her insults will be pretty cutting, perhaps even vicious, but I'm just not that good at insults. So I'm looking for a dozen or so insults for her, that I could use in game. I mean, "I love your kimono, I remember my great-grandmother had one just like it" is cute and all, but I'd love more. Please post your ideas!

You can do worse than start with Churchill, Oscar Wilde or Shakespeare and loosely adapt....

• Your haiku was a triumph, but the audience was a disaster.
• You may be the only man I’ve met who fell in love with himself at a young age and has remained faithful ever since.
• I'm certain your honoured Mother is looking down on you from Heaven. Not simply because she sadly passed on, but because as I recall we had very similar opinions of you.
• I hope your day is as pleasant as you are.
• I treasure the time I don't spend with you.
• Well, what doesn't kill you...isn't going to get the other half of the fee from me.

Well, there's the one from the Sadane Student card itself: "How sweet of you to wear a kimono designed by your little brother." (approximately)

in a game recently, someone complimented another person on how they had managed to do better than expected in a competition - they had come second last.

"That was a very brave thing you said in court today."

"I just want you to know that I don't believe a word of that vicious baseless rumor going around about you."

"Oh but you do remind me of my little sister. I hope that when she passes her gempukku in a few years, you'll have the chance to meet her."

"Oh yeah? Well the Jerk Store called, and they're running out of YOU!"

Of course, the really good insults are going to be personal. Little snipes at fashion and such are fine when you're just looking to make your friends smile behind their fans, and are probably a standard hazing when someone new shows up at court. Be sure to have plenty of these ready to give your PCs a hard time, and if they handle themselves well, they earn a bit of respect.

And sometimes you want to ruin someone's day. When your enemy is waiting for an audience with the Daimyo, that's the time to bring up his drinking problem, and his sister's recent cowardice at the Battle of Sleeping River. This is, of course, dangerous territory.

Thanks everyone! There are some great ideas, and I appreciate the comments. The game is this Saturday, and I thought I would share what I settled on...

• "I enjoyed your opening comment, I hear children shouting the same thing at one another and it always makes me laugh."
• "Your wit is like a fishing pole with no hook."
• "Your words, they are like a blade with no handle." or "like a paper lantern in the rain." or "like a single chopstick at mealtime."
• "Whew, someone smells like early spring..."
• (interrupting) "Huh?? Was an inoshishi (wild pig) just caught?? Oh... you were speaking. I'm so sorry, please, continue."
• "Please, take your time. Someone so old as you can become forgetful, I can wait for you to catch up." (none of the PCs are older than 20 years)

Everything else I am hoping to handle on the fly. Like I said, I just wanted a few written down in case I needed them, and you all inspired me.

I had written some rules for Sadane duels and wrote a Sadane exchange for my players as an example:

“My dear, it’s good to see that you enjoy the regional cuisine so very much.”

“You should try it. You seem to be only drinking all the time.”

“I fear it is not for me. I do not have your rural upbringing.”

“Well, not all of us are so blessedly free of any upbringing.”

“As you bring it up, I see you hope the fashion of your youth comes back into style.”

“You’ll have to forgive me. My youth wasn’t as long ago as yours.”

“Oh, I am used to forgiving you all your many mistakes.”

“Speaking of mistakes, is your hair meant to resemble a crane’s nest?”

“We all must use what we have. Not long, and your hair with be that of a crab.”

Hmm, I feel that the third or fourth one would have lost for being literal insults.

I feel like Courts of Stone p. 102 has one of the sickest Sadane burns:

" I don't care what anyone else says about you. I respect you.

On 9/19/2019 at 12:30 PM, Harzerkatze said:

I had written some rules for Sadane duels and wrote a Sadane exchange for my players as an example:

“My dear, it’s good to see that you enjoy the regional cuisine so very much.”

“You should try it. You seem to be only drinking all the time.”

“I fear it is not for me. I do not have your rural upbringing.”

“Well, not all of us are so blessedly free of any upbringing.”

“As you bring it up, I see you hope the fashion of your youth comes back into style.”

“You’ll have to forgive me. My youth wasn’t as long ago as yours.”

“Oh, I am used to forgiving you all your many mistakes.”

“Speaking of mistakes, is your hair meant to resemble a crane’s nest?”

“We all must use what we have. Not long, and your hair with be that of a crab.”

This is a great example! I'd love to see the rules you wrote, if you are willing to share?

In my game - and remember the NPC is only 12 years old - the players had a fantastic time. One of them played well, and most likely "won". Two of them didn't know how to reply and ended up just fumbling insults, to which the 12 year old began to follow, until her father stopped the game with an uncomfortable smile. We all laughed a lot, so it was a complete success regardless of the things we actually said.

7 hours ago, vargr said:

This is a great example! I'd love to see the rules you wrote, if you are willing to share?

My write-up was this:

Rules: Sadane is an intrigue conflict. All rings can be used. As a Scheme action, the participants take turns making Courtesy TN 2 checks to insult their opponent, on a success, they gain Momentum Points equal to 1 plus Bonus Successes. Players and the DM must word their insults, no longer than a sentence or two. They have a minute to come up with a line.
They get a Bonus Success for a good insult (as judged by the GM) and a free Opportunity if the insult took up the previous line of the opponent. An insult playing with an opponents secrets or Disadvantages causes 2 strife. The game ends when one of the sides reaches 10 Momentum Points or bows out of the competition. The game begins with the ritual phrase “My dear”.

The idea is that both the character design should play a role as well as what the players come up with as insults.