Some of the more advanced droids with humanoid forms are programmed with some ability to communicate nonverbally with many of the most common species in the galaxy. Protocol and holojournalism droids in particular commonly feature these abilities.

So it is that C-9J9's posture manages to subtly communicate profound gravity to humans, Rodians, Twi'leks, and Space Horses as the holocam focuses in on him.

"We interrupt this airing of The Sith Lord II: More Machine Than Man to bring you this breaking story. In what appears to be a coordinated strike, horrible alien creatures have burst forth from the center of the galaxy! In a wave of unmitigated violence, the creatures jumped along formerly unmapped hyperlanes from the Alpha system to six immediately adjacent systems.

"Those waves of creatures which were not immediately beaten back summarily assumed control of the planets and began herding the sentient creatures on the surface into what amount to livestock pens. We are receiving unconfirmed initial reports of some kind of horrific rituals being enacted upon the sentients on these planets, but details remain sketchy at best.

"All attempts to parlay, surrender, or otherwise communicate with what are being colloquially referred to as 'locusts' have thus far been unsuccessful.

"As our circuits, hearts, and various analogous organs go out to those affected by this shocking turn of events, some have begun to speculate on what this will mean for the crisis in the Paellos Sector that is already rapidly spinning out of control.

We will continue to report as the situation develops."

C-9J9 manages to project an air of strained self-composure as the holocam fades out.

Fake news. Not all six systems are immediately adjacent to A.

If one part of a story is false, it follows that the entire story is false. Therefore there is no invasion, the aliens are not horrible, and no planet is blockaded. Ipso facto!

Nothing to see here...

@LTD Bold move.

8 hours ago, LTD said:

Merry Crew - presumably you have unleashed this market disruption upon us by discovering a path to A1 and attacking these creatures. You will be held liable for any losses suffered by Proprietary Limited as a result of your actions.

"One should always play fairly when one has the winning cards."
―HK-47

🤣 🤣 🤣 😂 😂 😂

Nothing to see here either

@FortyInRed Our orders to invade C1 seem to have not been heard the first time. It might take a while, but the odds are C1 shall be taken back in this turn. And our forces are still strong.

@FortyInRed It seems as our forces have failed to capture C1. If you are ready, we will withdraw our forces for you to attack. They have 2 GF now, and expect 6 next turn. We are no longer in position to attack.

CP9-J: Gentlebeings of the sector, we have all come under attack from a devastating new enemy, and while it appears that the "Merry Band" is already in position to begin offensive actions, the KUAD is also in position to begin a counter attack and eliminate the threat at its source. With reports that the "Merry Band" is in place above A1, we will head to the next location - A2 - and eradicate any enemies there. We are also concerned that the enemy may be holding J - as they would most likely have gone through there to attack I3.

I propose a moratorium on fighting between all our factions until this threat is dealt with.

@GhostofNobodyInParticular

CP9-J: We would have liked to attempt to deliver the promised ship, but you left orbit without claiming it. We will be sending it to I3 if you intend to relieve it this turn to augment your forces there, or any other location of your choice near G1. Next scheduled ship production for delivery will be Turn 12.

3 minutes ago, BiggsIRL said:

@GhostofNobodyInParticular

CP9-J: We would have liked to attempt to deliver the promised ship, but you left orbit without claiming it. We will be sending it to I3 if you intend to relieve it this turn to augment  your forces  there, or any other location of your choice near G1. Next scheduled ship production for delivery will be Turn 12.

Yes, please send it to I3.

12 minutes ago, GhostofNobodyInParticular said:

Yes, please send it to I3.

CP9-J: Consider it done.

Regarding J, it is possible the planet was taken, but we would point out the differences in the report - those systems adjacent to A were attacked by brood swarms, those further afield by scout swarms. Perhaps the scout swarms have a longer range jump effect?

The elimination of these creatures is in all our interests. Our forces are not in position to reach the A system this turn. We are realigning assets to react to a volatile market while maintaining our focus on long term prospects.

"Observation: I [hold J]."
―HK-47

1 hour ago, BiggsIRL said:

I propose a moratorium on fighting between all our factions until this threat is dealt with.

HK-47: "Answer: Certainly. Why not?"

42 minutes ago, Matt3412 said:

"Observation: I [hold J]."
―HK-47

CP9-J: Understood. We will not be scouting J then.

2 hours ago, BiggsIRL said:

I propose a moratorium on fighting between all our factions until this threat is dealt with  .

1 hour ago, LTD said:

The elimination of these creatures is in all our interests. Our forces are not in position to reach the A system this turn. We are realigning assets to react to a volatile market while maintaining our focus on long term prospects

Perhaps it is in everyone's interests.

But we don't like people.

We are not going to make an effort, unless we ourselves are directly attacked, or Horse ( @FortyInRed ) calls upon our assistance.

We are not the Union of Random AntiSocial Creatures for nothing.

Also explains why our ground goons have failed to beat anything within acceptable limits.

3 hours ago, BiggsIRL said:

CP9-J: Gentlebeings of the sector, we have all come under attack from a devastating new enemy, and while it appears that the "Merry Band" is already in position to begin offensive actions, the KUAD is also in position to begin a counter attack and eliminate the threat at its source. With reports that the "Merry Band" is in place above A1, we will head to the next location - A2 - and eradicate any enemies there. We are also concerned that the enemy may be holding J - as they would most likely have gone through there to attack I3.

I propose a moratorium on fighting between all our factions until this threat is dealt with.

CP9-J notices a strange tune emanating from his communicator. He thought he'd left the darn thing on silent. Curiously, he picks up, and hears three human males singing:

He saw the cease fire offer, you did submit today

Peace with the Remnant? The horse says Neigh!

No, their annihilation, is just the only way.

There will be blood, it will be theirs.

Return Clydesdale !

<signed>
Bad Horse

A human male then begins speaking:

Greetings CP9-J. The Bad Horse is unwilling to accept peace with the Remnant so long as the sweet grasses of Clydesdale remain in their vile clutches. Negotiate their surrender, and we will postpone our war, for now.

Note: this is now the second robotic race to attack the Evil League of Evil in unprovoked fashion. I appeal to their logic circuits; robots and Evil go hand in hand. What is better than Evil Space Horses? EVIL SPACE HORSE ROBOTS!

4 hours ago, idjmv said:

@FortyInRed It seems as our forces have failed to capture C1. If you are ready, we will withdraw our forces for you to attack. They have 2 GF now, and expect 6 next turn. We are no longer in position to attack.

The Bad Horse is grateful for your efforts. This will not be forgotten.

His stallions are ready for war, and will gladly assume blockade duties over C1.

Once we have liberated Clydesdale , we will begin an assault on the Remnant's home worlds. We ask your assistance, and are offering to let you take your pick over which of their worlds you want to claim. We will assist you in the slaughter of course, but want to recognize your contribution.

8 minutes ago, FortyInRed said:

The Bad Horse is grateful for your efforts. This will not be forgotten.

His stallions are ready for war, and will gladly assume blockade duties over C1.

Once we have liberated Clydesdale , we will begin an assault on the Remnant's home worlds. We ask your assistance, and are offering to let you take your pick over which of their worlds you want to claim. We will assist you in the slaughter of course, but want to recognize your contribution.

I-i... is t-this... a... COMPLIMENT?!

whoa

All jokes aside, we are more than glad to assist the League of Evil in conquests of mayhem. We will begin staging of our forces, and we shall be ready for war again shortly.

(I am glad this version eliminates IC to Credit production deficits, because we would already be dead in the water/void of space)

As for our spoils, we shall examine and "talk" over the matter, to determine which ones would benefit us.

58 minutes ago, idjmv said:

But  we don't lik  e people  .

Calculation.... You are operating under false assumptions.

Droids are not “people”.

Nor are they Social.

By your own mandate, we should not be enemies.

Operating as Lackies to Bad Horse May not be liking people, but it is instead a social activity.

You are in error in this alliance.

end of line.

34 minutes ago, Drasnighta said:

Calculation.... You are operating under false assumptions.

Droids are not “people”.

Nor are they Social.

By your own mandate, we should not be enemies.

Operating as Lackies to Bad Horse May not be liking people, but it is instead a social activity.

You are in error in this alliance.

end of line.

Hmph. You are not 'a person' yet you have a measure of intelligence, making you sentient. By our standards, that makes you close enough...

9 minutes ago, idjmv said:

Hmph. You are not 'a person' yet you have a measure of intelligence, making you sentient. By our standards, that makes you close enough...

Counterpoint:

At least one of us is showing intelligence in this matter.

End of line.

30 minutes ago, Drasnighta said:

Counterpoint:

At least one of us is showing intelligence in this matter.

End of line.

We never said we think were the intelligent ones. We are simply stubborn.