4 hours ago, Pooleman said:You are simply following some of the same steps as a ranged attack for the purposes of resolving this effect.
See, this is ultimately the mistake you're making. Why are you only following some of the steps? Where does it tell you to do that, and which steps exactly does it tell you follow? (Those are rhetorical questions, just to be clear. It does not tell you to only perform some of the steps of an attack. It says to perform an attack. It does NOT say "perform steps 2-9 of an attack".)
Remember the two key principles of interpreting any rules:
A. Do what the rules/cards say.
B. Don't do what the rules/cards don't say.
If you are only performing some of the steps, you are violating principle B because you are doing something the rules did not tell you to do.
4 hours ago, Pooleman said:You treat it as a ranged attack when it detonates for the purposes of applying cover, adding suppression, etc., but you aren’t performing a ranged attack when you detonate.
Again, why only for those purposes? Where does the rule tell you to do this? It literally says "Attacks made by an area weapon are ranged attacks." It does NOT say "Attacks made by an area weapon are ranged attacks for the purposes of [insert whatever you like here]." You are inserting a lot of information that just does not exist in the rules.