Is this correct? Can it be written better? The card's supposed to attack players clockwise, until someone kills it or draws.

I think you can just go with something along the lines of "If you are defeated, (in addition to losing 1 life,) the Night Hunters move to the character on your left and attack them".

Cards like Magic Lamp just ask you to pass a card to the character on your left, not the character of the player to your left etc.

Edit - Just to add that the initial problem I had with the card was that I thought that they should probably move to the next character around the board (clockwise) within the same region, but that is your choice.

Thanks! Will look into the Magic Lamp.

Version 2.0

By the way, it should be Bloodthirsty.

Yes to the "bloodthirsty".
The wording on 2.0 seems just fine.

Thanks.

I would also say 'must then', not 'then must'.