The All Guardsmen Party

By ShoggySeldom, in Dark Heresy General Discussion

Hi folks, I'm popping in here on my holidays to share a story about bravery, incompetence, and detpacks.
This is, at heart, a campaign write-up, but it has grown over the months into something a little bigger than anyone expected. I'm hoping you guys enjoy it as much as the folks on reddit and tg.
This has become a rather long story and due to this forum's image limits (and my inability to find the spoiler tags) I'm going to have to link off-site. The entire story is split into screencapped chapters hosted on imgur below (with the original thread links too, if you'd prefer), but it can also all be found in a nice, clean, slightly more polished, google-hosted html file here:
The Adventures of the All Guardsmen Party
Prologue: Natural Selection Based Character Creation
Part 2: Guardsmen and Pilgrims
Part 3: Dude Where's My Psyker?
Part 4: What's in the Box?
Part 5: Nubby's Girlfriend
Part 6: Heretic Purging
Part 7: Discount Spaceship
Part 8: Good Soldiers, Bad Educators
Part 9: The Interplanetary Man of Mystery
Part 10: The Greater Good
I'm rather new on the forum, so if I should move this somewhere else please tell me. Otherwise I'm happy to talk or answer questions and would love to hear any literary criticism.
Edited by ShoggySeldom

This is the most awesome thing i've read this year. ^^.

And im not even half way through the first link! That is one hella back story to start with. I give your GM much kudos!

TG is invading! We are doomed!

This is the most awesome thing i've read this year. ^^.

And im not even half way through the first link! That is one hella back story to start with. I give your GM much kudos!

He's rather proud of that, it took him a great deal of planning. No matter how great the rest of the campaign goes, those sessions will probably be what he brags about to other GMs.

TG is invading! We are doomed!

Yep, nothing left to do now but die for the Emperor and take as many trolls down with you as possible.

The commissariat disapproves of this message and declares it HERESY!

Its how you know its good :P

Caught it live on TG. Boss job. And don't stress yourself too much about meeting deadlines, dude. :)

Yea, well... I don't like being a flake, but can never seem to finish everything beforehand for some reason.

Art takes time. Simple :D

Woo! Been eagerly awaiting the new one. I never go to tg, but a friend of mine who does showed it to our whole group. Glad I can keep track of it on here. :D

Too good.

Just got done reading these, this is an amazing job. I have never laughed so hard reading a game session before.

New chapter is up and it's a stupidly long one this time.
Worlds are searched, tech priests cause problems, we thoroughly annoy someone, and we get involved is a battle that's far too big for our comfort.

Part 11: The Xenotech Heresy

Original Thread Links:

Liking the HTML version. It makes it easier to link up to folks than a bunch of threads on /tg/. :)

Is anyone here interested in reading more chapters of this series?

Oh yes indeed, more than once my wife has come out to the sound of me laughing historically and when she asks what is so funny all i can do is point towards one of your adventures.

Does a bear.... in the woods? Of course I am!

You've just lit up my childhood memories of Smokey like a forest fire.

But yeah, definitely. I'm curious where it all goes.

Righto then, here it is.


The team visits an warzone to capture a live zoanthrope. Cells are repaired, complaints are made, Space Marines are met, the team gets a crash course in Grav-chute usage, Twitch completely snaps, and the captain is perpetually angry.


Part 12: Tyranid Acquisition Experts


(Any image loading problems can be addressed by shift-reloading, I'll upgrade the HTML soon)



Edited by ShoggySeldom

I'm waiting for twitch to try to fire that bolter and find out what sort of anti-theft devices astartes put on there weapons.

An electronically voiced guilt trip constantly shaming the user, if the internal scanner detects them as human.

An incendiary if xenos or mutant.

:D

Excellent read them all...good laugh.

Oh boy ... This is awesome.

I am a bit jealous ! I would love to to the same thing :D I think I'll steal the bootcamp ... at least for an introduction ... :)

Would love to read more :wub:

An amazingly fun read. Really gets me eager to jump back in to Dark Heresy, even if I'll likely never be as fortunate as to have nothing but Guardsmen. The urge to do something like the Occurrence Border is very tempting, in particular.