Have you had any of your characters engage in a little trolling against their enemies (or fellow crewmen) when violence isn't an option for one reason or another?

Curious about this because it's the first thing my character did in a recently-started game over on Myth Weavers. We're playing through Lure of the Expanse and the GM's hook was an invitation by someone I added to my Trader's background; Gabriel Van Rikke, youngest child of the Van Rikke Dynasty who have been in an economic war with the Morek Dynasty (my character's family) for generations. He is also smitten with my character (Lady-Captain Jesebelle Morek, second-child and current Warrant Holder of the Morek Dynasty) so managed to get a scented letter to her while she was stocking up on Port Wander.

To my sweet Lady Jessebelle

Before I go on, I must attest that the little cut you gave me during our last match will be around a little longer than I previously thought, even with the best Chirugeons on Scintilla, they say it will leave quite the scar, though every time it aches it reminds me of you. You managed to surprise even me that day, I saw your eyes full of passion, your body moving with grace as we both sweat in the heat of the duel... I could not resist, and to see you spurn my affections, In what I am sure is the most enjoyable of games, only makes me want you even more.

But no matter, I hope that once you are done with your little dealings with that dreaded slime of a merchant, Alfcan, and your childish adventures in Koronus that you will cast off that wretched Morek title and meet me in Footfall. Oh, I hope you are not surprised, my love, fathers men are simply the best at finding people, and subtlety Is not one of your strengths.

I even went to the trouble of adding your name to the Liege's list for a little masquerade ball he is holding, I will be attending on official business, a very stodgy affair, but father says it will lead us to a world filled with treasure, enough to fill the family coffers twice over! He says the legend of the 'Dread Pearl' are true, and that a couple of Footfall psykers are going to tell it at what he calls a Foretelling, a very hush hush, invite only business to occur in the next couple weeks, I wish I could tell you more, my little bat, but I'm afraid there is too much at stake on this one. I do hope you take me up on my offer, if you do attend the ball, I will be the one with the claw fiend mask.

Signed the ever dashing
Gabriel Van Rikke

For reference; even if Jesebelle weren't ***, she would still want to strangle this guy. He's the arrogant sort who thinks he's the Emperor's gift to women. The following is her reply, which was left to marinate in the... 'unique aroma' of the ship's waste disposal system the whole way from Port Wander to Footfall, then placed inside an air-tight container to be delivered personally to Gabriel with the messenger using a picter to record his reaction upon opening said container.

Gabriel,
I admit, your letter caught me by surprise. The scent, however, was not surprising and I think you've already noticed my own little take on the idea. Might want to just use an Astropath next time.

The Dread Pearl does have me curious, though, so rather than use it as a chance to brutally murder your arrogant, self-centred backside, I may just attend this masquerade after all. You shouldn't have any trouble recognising me; Emperor-knows you've done enough visual spelunking of my cleavage that you could probably recognise it anywhere. Which is why I will be tearing out your eyes one day.

As for the scar, my apologies - I was aiming for the artery in your neck.

Hoping you contract a horrible illness from this letter's treatment,
Jesebelle Morek

So has anyone else done something just to tweak an enemy's nose or annoy them? Because the nonsense a Rogue Trader could get away with... *descends into evil, maniacal laughter*

BTW, while I think of it; does this forum have spoiler tags or the like? I can't find them on the toolbar above so I assume not.

After liberating a system from the Dark Eldar, they returned in orbit to find that Aspyce Chorda had sent a relief fleet composed of a number of loosely aligned merchant captains and Rogue Traders, among which was Krawkin Feckward whom the party already hated. Since they already had a hold full of captured Dark Eldar tech, and didn't really want to deal with the clean-up on the planet, they decided to leave and made for the edge of the system to escape.

They spent all 13 days of the transit to the outer system composing messages to Krawkin Feckward making fun of him for cleaning up after them, being too cowardly to face the Dark Eldar directly, describing the elegant food they were able to afford and generally and relentlessly taunting him.

In running a Hit-and-Run action, Lord Captain Guntram von Koenigsegg had heroically boarded Captain Hadarack Fell's frigate. However, his crew had only brought breaching charges, meaning he could make one temporary, one-way airlock in Fell's ship. However, it would only prove a minor annoyance- no component would be seriously damaged. But Guntram was crafty- if this was to be an annoyance, it would not be a minor one. After a moment's consideration, Guntram chose his target: Fell's trophy room.

Without a moment to lose, the breaching charges were set and the treasures of Hadarak Fell flew out into the void of space. The boarding party escaped, and Guntram continued to battle Fell. Eventually, Hadarak Fell retreated, leaving Guntram to salvage the treasures he had set free.

When the two met again in Footfall, each captain was cordial to each other, until Hadarak Fell found out one his looted trophies was being offered as a bid to the Fortelling of the Seven Witches...

We rescued a Space Marine Librarian (new PC) who wished to be housed somewhere on the ship where he would be seen by the fewest crew-members possible.

My reply:

"The two least-populated areas on the ship are the Xenos quarters and the septic complex."

We rescued a Space Marine Librarian (new PC) who wished to be housed somewhere on the ship where he would be seen by the fewest crew-members possible.

My reply:

"The two least-populated areas on the ship are the Xenos quarters and the septic complex."

I sincerely hope his reply was

"I pray for your soul that you just repeated yourself"

Kind of takes a Rogue Trader to smart off to an Astartes, especially a Librarian one, but I can totally see it. I imagine many RTs are guilty of saying any number of such things to others; their egos and larger-than-life personalities almost seem to require it.

We were trying to set up a meeting to break into the cold trade but our contacts had been abducted by some gangers who were overreaching themselves. This is an excerpt as close to how I remember it from the confrontation we had when we walked into their lair and saw them holding our contacts at gunpoint:

My Arch Militant "Release those men."

Gang Leader "We hear you have xenos friends, we have xenos friends too."

My Arch Militant "Letting Kroot play at your backdoor doesn't mean you have Xenos friends."

Gang Leader "You better show some respect..."

Then I opened fire and initiated combat. RENEGADE INTERRUPT!

There was another time when I was GMing that they got into a confrontation with a minor noblemen in a bar because they were boasting about the time they cut his cousin's arm off and held his wife as a hostage.

Minor Nobleman *throws a glove in the Arch Militant's face* "I demand satisfaction!"

Ork Freebooter "SO DID SHE!"

My players are particularly pro-humanity and relatively loyal to the Imperium. They found Krawkin Feckward completely detestable, but the conditions they met him under forced them to let him go. They later found out through contacts that he was hot on the trail to find the Tomb of Saint Cognitious (SP?). They were pissed, so they decided to do something about it. They managed to get their ship close enough to board (Silent Running with Empyrean Mantle) and boarded him. They flooded his ships with troops. The RT personally led a party to capture Feckward (I can't say how they pronounce his name without the profanity filters kicking in). After taking his ship, they used a psyker to get his Warrant's location. Now they have a servitor with a familiar face that spends its time licking the deck of the bridge clean with its specially modified tongue.

Honestly, that's pretty vicious. I like it though.

In the same vein, we just finished The Frozen Reaches (the whole Damaris thing) and we were given free reign to do as we wanted. Naturally, I volunteered some armsmen for the Bulwark's protection. Elite folks, you understand, my Dynasty's finest.

Then, of course, the two other Rogue Traders' vessels were just always out of support range of my system ships. They took losses, as planned, and were boarded a few times and only repelled at great cost. They had to put in for repairs at the Bulwark, where they took on some replacements and at my grudging approval, some of the armsmen that had done an excellent job at defending said station.

It was actually a bit odd using Social Skills in this reverse-psychology manner. This is where I also used my fate points the most.

Afterwards, since the planning of the system defense was left up to my character mostly, they were much better protected, preserving my men for the important stuff.

The final two battles came and I had to split forces, and wouldn't you know it? There must've been a miscommunication about the plans and the two Rogue Traders were isolated once more. Boarders were repelled at great cost. Sadly, both Lady Orleans and Captain Jeremiah Blitz were brutally killed by, well, it seems that's a bit odd since it appears their bodies were ripped apart by Bolter fire. Surely Orkish weapons were as destructive at short ranges, my Rogue Trader asked, and a dull few didn't take the hints and were promptly eviscerated.

To be fair, Lady Orleans sided against me on Damaris so she had to go. And Blitz has a Lunar cruiser.

Though impressed, our GM did not allow us to keep either the Starweaver or the Ordained Destiny as we technically did not really take them overtly and can't claim them. Also, some debts to creditors and other obligations meant that we got a hefty bonus in Profit Factor, but not the new hulls.

I'll ask about making their skulls into servo-skulls.

(Note: The above wasn't really the focus of the game as we have quite a large number of players who engaged in their own shenanigans.)

For those curious about the result of Jesebelle's 'scented' letter - it was less than I'd hoped for. Apparently Gabriel thought that the smell was from the messenger, not the letter, and fails enough at reading comprehension to realise that Jesebelle meant for it to stink to high-heaven. He had the messenger executed.

Only reason Jesebelle didn't finally follow through on her death-threats when he mentioned that was because she thought it would lose her a place at the Foretelling. Realising she wasn't there to finally fall into his arms, he just muttered some vague comment on how he couldn't let us get the Dread Pearl and left.

Depending on how their next meeting goes, he'll either be dead or Jesebelle will be looking for a freelance Dark Eldar torturer (or interstellar assassin if the blonde git gets away).