Here's an attempt at Scathing Tirade that almost worked, but...

Malkovich's character was doing fine until he mentioned the brand of bike (rolled a Despair)

...which he only failed because Pitt's character is so shallow...

Maybe lack of wit should be a defense

That's certainly a fair way of doing it, but I don't like the idea of not allowing solely because it doesn't jive with cannon.

Well, the canon that exists is what provides the mood and the setting. If Mara Jade is suddenly a self-concious fashionista, what else about the SW universe can we throw out the window?

Anakin being a whiny brat? Jar-Jar being a total fool? Boba Fett going down like a total punk? Lando doing Colt 45 commercials?

Here's an attempt at Scathing Tirade that almost worked, but...

I got one for you! The Doctor versus Colonel Run-away:

I know we don't all agree, but I'm really glad to see so much conversation around RP and mechanics. Not enough systems are able to effectively marry the two!

Good example Desslok. Doctor Who had some good examples of Scathing Tirade.

scath·ing [ skey-thing ]
adjective

• bitterly severe, as a remark: a scathing review of the play.
• harmful, injurious, or searing.

ti·rade [ tahy-reyd ]
noun

• a prolonged outburst of bitter, outspoken denunciation: a tirade against smoking.
• a long, vehement speech: a tirade in the Senate.
• a passage dealing with a single theme or idea, as in poetry: the stately tirades of Corneille.

A Scathing Tirade has little to do with "my crew is going to kick your backside" and everything to do with showing your dominance through a severe outburst of bitter, outspoken denunciation. Movies and books are filled with them. Gandalf's "You shall not pass" speech in Fellowship of the Ring was a scathing tirade, or Hitler's rantings toward his advisors in the movie Downfall . Or maybe Jack Nicholson's outburst in A Few Good Men .

You can't handle the truth! Son, we live in a world that has walls, and those walls have to be guarded by men with guns. Who's gonna do it? You? You, Lieutenant Weinberg? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for Santiago and you curse the Marines. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know, that Santiago's death, while tragic, probably saved lives. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives! You don't want the truth, because deep down in places you don't talk about at parties, you want me on that wall. You need me on that wall. We use words like "honor", "code", "loyalty". We use these words as the backbone of a life spent defending something. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom that I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it! I would rather you just said "thank you", and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a weapon, and stand a post. Either way, I don't give a **** what you think you are entitled to!

See?

A "Scathing Tirade" here in Kansas would have been called a "tongue lashing". It's where you put someone in place not by the power of force, but by your sheer presence. Probably the example I like the best is Hub McCann's introduction to the punks at the watering hole in Secondhand Lions .

I'm Hub McCann. I've fought in two World Wars and countless smaller ones on three continents. I led thousands of men into battle with everything from horses and swords to artillery and tanks. I've seen the headwaters of the Nile, and tribes of natives no white man had ever seen before. I've won and lost a dozen fortunes, KILLED MANY MEN and loved only one woman with a passion a FLEA like you could never begin to understand. That's who I am. NOW, GO HOME, BOY!

I haven't had as much chance to use it as I'd like, but I think I'll be relying a bit more on these sorts of things in the future, as a GM. Sure, it takes a little role-playing setup, but it can be a powerful tool, if used right.

I guess my players have different expectations. Fully half my group are females, and they'd be pretty disappointed if a Sith aspirant like Mara Jade suddenly revealed herself as caring about her outfit so much she'd drop her lightsaber over ONE Triumph. However I see your point, Triumphs are a great opportunity to contribute to the narrative up to and including NPC quirks. (Hence why I prefer to keep established characters out of the narrative.)

Let's pretend this was some other trainee of Palpatine's, of which he had plenty. Maybe this guy was Dathomiri Nightbrother with two black lightsabers the GM expected the party to leap into battle against, but the Politico wins Initiative and uses Scathing Tirade, telling the Nightbrother; "Those robes are ugly and they make your tattoos look stupid." Success with a Triumph is rolled.

Exactly how scary would the Emperor's minions be -- Darth Maul-esque Nightbrothers, at that -- if this guy just dropped his lightsabers and started fretting about fashion? The context just isn't there.

Sure, there could be some humorous quirk about his past that would make him care about such a thing, but what really just happened is that an exciting, intimidating aspect of the Star Wars mythos has been reduced to a joke... and that sets a really bad precedent. When the sight of a dude in dark robes with a red lightsaber no longer scares your players, you've definitely messed up somewhere along the line.

I'm all about allowing humor into my games, but my group makes efforts to keep it out-of-character or in-context.

This is actually my point. The machanics are what they are but I would like to see a heading, where they are going. It needs to come from where the PC's are now. If they have a been playiong the "han chases troopers" style the fun is OK. If they are the more serious group the mara dropping the saber because of outfit just would not work. The mechanic is a support to what the player wants to do.

Actually I am playing the politico now and I am struggling myself on what to say. I do not feel I can use the tirade if I do not come up with at least a couple of key words. Else I would just do the coercion check. the tirade should be grounded so If I would say spomething about wardrobe to a wookie en do a scathing tirade that isn't good play. Now If I would say to the wookie that he looks like an overgrown ewok and therefore rather dim and clumsy and he'd better step out of my way to avoid further embarasement and do the roll.

No acting here just telling and a suitable line to grant the scathing tirade. For my current group that would even be an awesome performance maybe even getting a boost die to the roll.

I feel this roll needs to be earned somehow.

Oh I got one!

"I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a bantha and your father smelled of hutt cooking!"

"You see my friend here? He got both his arms ripped from their sockets and still managed to beat the wookie to death!"

And I hope the comment to Mara Jade went something like this:

"I really love those shoes, very menacing. Nothing says 'FEAR ME I have repressed father issues that I sort out through overly sexualized outfits and combat styles that involve penetrating people with a hot stick' like black leather healed boots. Way to not compensate for a lack of a childhood."

Sure she drops her lightsabers, and when she reaches out with the forces and chokes your ***** ass I hope you feel good about it.

A good GM would have definately put an insane difficulty on that specific instance and I would have probably flipped a token to up it even higher. Also I thought most of the rival and nemesis had some innate ability to up the difficulty of personality based checks against them. If you succeed against all those odds then by all means, movies and canon is full of sith especially cracking under verbal sparring.

"If we're going to have a battle of the wits you will need to go find some because I so hate to fight unarmed opponents."

"If we're going to have a battle of the wits you will need to go find some because I so hate to fight unarmed opponents."

You fight like a dairy farmer!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5GKQuJWEEY0

"If we're going to have a battle of the wits you will need to go find some because I so hate to fight unarmed opponents."

You fight like a dairy farmer!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5GKQuJWEEY0

I was beaten to the punch here. But how appropriate, you fight like a cow!

"If brains were birds your head would be an empty sky!"

"Most soldiers emerge from basic training more fit than when they entered. I want to congratulate you on beating the odds and somehow packing on a few extra pounds."

"It's good to have goals in life!"

"I thought you should know, my protocol droid computed the odds against you in this fight as 4.5 million to one. And that's with some very generous rounding."

"Wait - I thought you needed to be a highly trained solider to be in military? I've been lied to my whole life!"

"Aren't you a little fat to be a stormtrooper?"

"Were you cloned in a dirty gestation tank?"

"Oh my God, look at you. Was anyone else hurt in the accident?"

"Please stop shooting! If we keep up this pace, I simply wont have enough time to deride your ignorant tactical decisions properly!"

"Is it fun when you degrade yourselves like this?"

"If you're going to die, at least try and die with some dignity!"

"Wow, you've somehow managed to make that uniform look stupid. On other people it looks fine, but on you it looks stupid."

"When you die, I'm going to laminate your skeleton and mount you to the front of my ship."

"Did you know you that after the fight, you can donate one or all of your vital organs to the Underprivileged Aliens Fund? It's true!"

Great examples, mostly from Letters of Note:

Alan Moore, to Morrison (incl. Sneddon & batman scholars): http://slovobooks.wordpress.com/2014/01/09/last-alan-moore-interview/

Dan Loeb, hedge fund manager: "We have also tried to reach you on innumerable occasions only to be told that your legal counsel advised you against speaking to bondholders and shareholders due to the torrent of shareholder litigation currently being brought against senior management and the Company . . . . Sadly, your ineptitude is not limited to your failure to communicate with bond and unit holders. A review of your record reveals years of value destruction and strategic blunders which have led us to dub you one of the most dangerous and incompetent executives in America. (I was amused to learn, in the course of our investigation, that at Cornell University there is an “[star Gas C.E.O.] Irik Sevin Scholarship.” One can only pity the poor student who suffers the indignity of attaching your name to his academic record.)"

Neil Young, musician to MTV (1988): "MTV, you spineless twerps. You refuse to play "This Note's For You" because you're afraid to offend your sponsors. What does the "M" in MTV stand for: music or money? Long live rock and roll."

JW Loguen, escaped slave, to former owner's request for money (1860): "Yours of the 20th of February is duly received, and I thank you for it. It is a long time since I heard from my poor old mother, and I am glad to know she is yet alive, and, as you say, "as well as common." What that means I don't know. I wish you had said more about her.

You are a woman; but had you a woman's heart you could never have insulted a brother by telling him you sold his only remaining brother and sister, because he put himself beyond your power to convert him into money.

You sold my brother and sister, ABE and ANN, and 12 acres of land, you say, because I ran away. Now you have the unutterable meanness to ask me to return and be your miserable chattel, or in lieu thereof send you $1000 to enable you to redeem the land, but not to redeem my poor brother and sister! If I were to send you money it would be to get my brother and sister, and not that you should get land. You say you are a cripple, and doubtless you say it to stir my pity, for you know I was susceptible in that direction. I do pity you from the bottom of my heart. Nevertheless I am indignant beyond the power of words to express, that you should be so sunken and cruel as to tear the hearts I love so much all in pieces; that you should be willing to impale and crucify us out of all compassion for your poor foot or leg. Wretched woman! Be it known to you that I value my freedom, to say nothing of my mother, brothers and sisters, more than your whole body; more, indeed, than my own life; more than all the lives of all the slaveholders and tyrants under Heaven.

You say you have offers to buy me, and that you shall sell me if I do not send you $1000, and in the same breath and almost in the same sentence, you say, "you know we raised you as we did our own children." Woman, did you raise your own children for the market? Did you raise them for the whipping-post? Did you raise them to be driven off in a coffle in chains? Where are my poor bleeding brothers and sisters? Can you tell? Who was it that sent them off into sugar and cotton fields, to be kicked, and cuffed, and whipped, and to groan and die; and where no kin can hear their groans, or attend and sympathize at their dying bed, or follow in their funeral? Wretched woman! Do you say you did not do it? Then I reply, your husband did, and you approved the deed—and the very letter you sent me shows that your heart approves it all. Shame on you.

But, by the way, where is your husband? You don't speak of him. I infer, therefore, that he is dead; that he has gone to his great account, with all his sins against my poor family upon his head. Poor man! gone to meet the spirits of my poor, outraged and murdered people, in a world where Liberty and Justice are MASTERS.

But you say I am a thief, because I took the old mare along with me. Have you got to learn that I had a better right to the old mare, as you call her, than MANNASSETH LOGUE had to me? Is it a greater sin for me to steal his horse, than it was for him to rob my mother's cradle and steal me? If he and you infer that I forfeit all my rights to you, shall not I infer that you forfeit all your rights to me? Have you got to learn that human rights are mutual and reciprocal, and if you take my liberty and life, you forfeit your own liberty and life? Before God and High Heaven, is there a law for one man which is not a law for every other man?

If you or any other speculator on my body and rights, wish to know how I regard my rights, they need but come here and lay their hands on me to enslave me. Did you think to terrify me by presenting the alternative to give my money to you, or give my body to Slavery? Then let me say to you, that I meet the proposition with unutterable scorn and contempt. The proposition is an outrage and an insult. I will not budge one hair's breadth. I will not breathe a shorter breath, even to save me from your persecutions. I stand among a free people, who, I thank God, sympathize with my rights, and the rights of mankind; and if your emissaries and venders come here to re-enslave me, and escape the unshrinking vigor of my own right arm, I trust my strong and brave friends, in this City and State, will be my rescuers and avengers."

Fiji students to the Rolling Stones: "Just wanted you to know, me and my friends with nearly the whole school, HATE you. Because you don't look like men, you are nothing but ANIMALS, and smell like them too. We know also that you are DIRTY and STINK. You probably never have baths which is typical of English pigs like you. I hope that you hurry up and go away from clean Fiji, because we don't want you here, you PIGS. We HATE HATE HATE you. I am speaking on behalf of 640 kids who all HATE you. So go and pick some pigsty in the slums of smelly England and have your MISERABLE holiday there. Your stupid road manager was upset about no-one greeting you, because we HATE you. Your road manager needs a POKE. If you dare to set foot in Suva, me and my friends will tell some of the MEN of Fiji (Suva), to come and SPIT on you, and go to the TOILET on you. Thats all your worth. So do what I said, and GET OUT, we HATE you."

AC Swinburne to Ralph Waldo Emerson: "I am informed that certain American journalists, not content with providing filth of their own for the consumption of their kind, sometimes offer to their readers a dish of beastliness which they profess to have gathered from under the chairs of more distinguished men. While the abuse lavished on my name and writings could claim no higher than a nameless source, I have always been able to say with Shelley, "I have neither curiosity, interest, pain nor pleasure, in anything, good or evil, they can say of me. I feel only a slight disgust, and a sort of wonder that they presume to write my name." If I am to believe that that name has been made the mark for such vile language as is now publicly attributed to men of note in the world of letters, I, who am not sufficiently an expert in the dialect of the cesspool and the dung-cart to retort in their own kind on these venerable gentlemen — I, whose ears and lips alike are unused to the amenities of a conversation embroidered with such fragments of flowery rhetoric as may be fished up by congenial fingers or lapped up by congenial tongues out of the sewerage of Sodom — can return no better or more apt reply than was addressed by the servant Octavia to the satellites of Nero, and applied by Lord Denman, when counsel for Queen Caroline, to the sycophants of George IV.

A foul mouth is so ill matched with a white beard that I would gladly believe the newspaper scribes alone responsible for the bestial utterances which they declare to have dropped from a teacher whom such disciples as these exhibit, to our disgust and compassion, as performing on their obscene platform the last tricks of tongue now possible to a gap-toothed and hoary-headed ape, carried first into notice on the shoulder of Carlyle, and who now, in his dotage, spits and chatters from a dirtier perch of his own finding and fouling; Coryphaeus or choragus of his Bulgarian tribe of autocoprophagous baboons who make the filth they feed on.

Averting, with a peculiar emotion which I need not specify, my eyes and nostrils from the sight and savour of such things, I need not stoop as though to blow off any speck of their leaving from a name which I trust and think, though it may well be that it has gained nothing, has at least lost nothing in my hands of its hereditary honour. Those to whom it is known only as an object of reviling from writers with or without a name of their own may yet do well to ask themselves how far such follies and such villainies may be likely to affect the repute or disturb the conciousness of one to whom it is given to remember that well-nigh at the very outset of his course he had earned the praise and won the friendship of Landor, of Hugo, and of Mazzini; and who, though he may see no need and feel no inclination to seek shelter behind the name or beneath the countenances of any man, has yet, in the sense of this not unmerited honour, an enduring source of such pleasures and such pride as the "most sweet voices" of his revilers are about equally competent to give and to take away."

Benjamin Franklin, to former friend of British parliament: "Mr. Strahan

You are a Member of Parliament, and one of that Majority which has doomed my Country to Destruction. You have begun to burn our Towns and murder our People. — Look upon your hands! They are stained with the Blood of your Relations! — You and I were long Friends:— You are now my Enemy, — and

I am,

Yours.

B. Franklin"

You could have 5 wookie politicos all howling and screaming...then beat down whoever is left with their fists. (They can and run for local office...do some adventuring on the side). My son calls them bards in space...he rolled a politico force sensitive/influence...interesting.

scath·ing [ skey-thing ]

adjective

• bitterly severe, as a remark: a scathing review of the play.
• harmful, injurious, or searing.

ti·rade [ tahy-reyd ]

noun

• a prolonged outburst of bitter, outspoken denunciation: a tirade against smoking.
• a long, vehement speech: a tirade in the Senate.
• a passage dealing with a single theme or idea, as in poetry: the stately tirades of Corneille.

A Scathing Tirade has little to do with "my crew is going to kick your backside" and everything to do with showing your dominance through a severe outburst of bitter, outspoken denunciation. Movies and books are filled with them. Gandalf's "You shall not pass" speech in Fellowship of the Ring was a scathing tirade, or Hitler's rantings toward his advisors in the movie Downfall . Or maybe Jack Nicholson's outburst in A Few Good Men .

You can't handle the truth! Son, we live in a world that has walls, and those walls have to be guarded by men with guns. Who's gonna do it? You? You, Lieutenant Weinberg? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for Santiago and you curse the Marines. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know, that Santiago's death, while tragic, probably saved lives. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives! You don't want the truth, because deep down in places you don't talk about at parties, you want me on that wall. You need me on that wall. We use words like "honor", "code", "loyalty". We use these words as the backbone of a life spent defending something. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom that I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it! I would rather you just said "thank you", and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a weapon, and stand a post. Either way, I don't give a **** what you think you are entitled to!

See?

A "Scathing Tirade" here in Kansas would have been called a "tongue lashing". It's where you put someone in place not by the power of force, but by your sheer presence. Probably the example I like the best is Hub McCann's introduction to the punks at the watering hole in Secondhand Lions .

I'm Hub McCann. I've fought in two World Wars and countless smaller ones on three continents. I led thousands of men into battle with everything from horses and swords to artillery and tanks. I've seen the headwaters of the Nile, and tribes of natives no white man had ever seen before. I've won and lost a dozen fortunes, KILLED MANY MEN and loved only one woman with a passion a FLEA like you could never begin to understand. That's who I am. NOW, GO HOME, BOY!

I haven't had as much chance to use it as I'd like, but I think I'll be relying a bit more on these sorts of things in the future, as a GM. Sure, it takes a little role-playing setup, but it can be a powerful tool, if used right.

Thank you for this. A scathing tirade is far longer than an insulting quip.

The opening from Full Metal Jacket--the spiel by the drill instructor--would make a fantastic Scathing Tirade...or maybe a dozen of them...

(Warning, this is totally NSFW!)

In preparation for the upcoming new Doctor Who, I went and watched some of Peter Capaldi's other shows, and I found this. Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you Malcolm Tucker - Master of the Scathing Tirade:

(Warning, this is totally NSFW!)

In preparation for the upcoming new Doctor Who, I went and watched some of Peter Capaldi's other shows, and I found this. Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you Malcolm Tucker - Master of the Scathing Tirade:

Genius!

Humperdinck: First things first, to the death.

Westley: No. To the pain.

Humperdinck: I don't think I'm quite familiar with that phrase.

Westley: I'll explain, and I'll use small words so that you'll be sure to understand, you warthog-faced buffoon.

Humperdinck: That may be the first time in my life a man has dared insult me.

Westley: It won't be the last. "To the pain" means the first thing you lose will be your feet, below the ankles, then your hands at the wrists. Next, your nose.

Humperdinck: [losing his patience] And then my tongue, I suppose. I killed you too quickly the last time, a mistake I don't mean to duplicate tonight.

Westley: I wasn't finished! The next thing you lose will be your left eye, followed by your right —

Humperdinck: [exasperated] And then my ears. I understand! Let's get on with it-

Westley: WRONG! Your ears you keep, and I'll tell you why: So that every shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness will be yours to cherish. Every babe that weeps at your approach, every woman who cries out, "Dear God, what is that thing?" will echo in your perfect ears. That is what "to the pain" means. It means I leave you in anguish, wallowing in freakish misery forever.

Humperdinck: [Cautious] You're bluffing.

Westley: Maybe I am. Maybe I'm not. Maybe I'm only lying here because I lack the strength to stand. But, then again... perhaps I have the strength after all.

[Westley slowly rises and points his sword directly at the prince]

Westley: Drop. Your. Sword. [Humperdink drops his sword] ]

This is one of my problems with this power, the extent of thought that needs to go into every use of it. I play a politico now and I find it such a huge letdown whenever I reduce this attack to a roll. Quite frankly, I can not think of how to employ a tirade in a firefight, much less how to invent one on the spot that pertains to the characters and setting. I have had minor successes in the past, but after a couple of months, I am finding it harder and harder to use this power.

I had thought about reskinning the power into something else. Wookies would be able to sub in a battle yell that would be frightening enough, but I am not a wookie, or anywhere near intimidating in appearance. I see this power simply being reduced to a regular coercion check often, which is fine for species and characters that are intimidating. For those that are not, this is a little trickier. I have found that my attempts often involve the muscle of my group being intimidating while I extract information, which is running almost too close to a negotiate check.

I am a force sensitive character, so I had thought about incorporating the force, but that would seem to lead to the dark side quickly if I had intent to harm the target. Ultimately, I want to reskin this power into a pseudo-psychic attack that demoralizes the enemy into simply not fighting.

Any ideas?

This is one of my problems with this power, the extent of thought that needs to go into every use of it. I play a politico now and I find it such a huge letdown whenever I reduce this attack to a roll. Quite frankly, I can not think of how to employ a tirade in a firefight, much less how to invent one on the spot that pertains to the characters and setting. I have had minor successes in the past, but after a couple of months, I am finding it harder and harder to use this power.

I had thought about reskinning the power into something else. Wookies would be able to sub in a battle yell that would be frightening enough, but I am not a wookie, or anywhere near intimidating in appearance. I see this power simply being reduced to a regular coercion check often, which is fine for species and characters that are intimidating. For those that are not, this is a little trickier. I have found that my attempts often involve the muscle of my group being intimidating while I extract information, which is running almost too close to a negotiate check.

I am a force sensitive character, so I had thought about incorporating the force, but that would seem to lead to the dark side quickly if I had intent to harm the target. Ultimately, I want to reskin this power into a pseudo-psychic attack that demoralizes the enemy into simply not fighting.

Any ideas?

Other than the "not fighting" part, all you need to do is say "this is part of how my character manipulates the Force" and I'd let it be so. I'd apply Setback dice when using it in the presence of droids, and add Boost dice when using it against targets that failed a fear check.

Bam. Welcome to the Dark Side.

That's the beauty part of this system; the narrative abilities are all up to you, and if you want a little more crunch to that narrative play with Setback dice and Boost dice and see what you can come up with!

12 parsec, I would be fine with the ability being an aspect of the force.

You could also create a verbal assault crit table. Ive seen many a Shakespearean insult generator around.

12 parsec, I would be fine with the ability being an aspect of the force.

You could also create a verbal assault crit table. Ive seen many a Shakespearean insult generator around.

Oooh... Great idea!

Take this: http://www.pangloss.com/seidel/shake_rule.html

And then just create three columns of your own unsavory verbs, compound-adjectives, and nouns. Add embellishment for flair.

I encourage a bit of acting, or at least a summary of key terms and may give you a bonus if you're really good. That said, I'll never penalize you or forbid a roll if you can't think of anything. I do realize that your character may be a master politico with a 4 Presence and a 3 in coercion, but you, the software engineer with a 1 or 2 presence, and no points in coercion may just not be able to think of as many intimidating threats off the top of your head.