Hello, i'm a spanish guy, but i'm creating an english fanmade.

My grammatique is poor, can you correct my english text cards?

Thank you!

http://www.edgeent.com/v2/edge_foros_discusion.asp?efid=295&efcid=25&efidt=411684

Wow, quest sounds impossible, but for grammar the only big things I noticed were on Sauron. Great job!

Should read:

If an attack damage s Sauron, place a resource token on him. If the player who attacks does not control Narsil, discard the top card of the encounter deck. If the discarded card has a shadow effect, do not place the resource token.

well im no expert in english grammer (as you can probably tell from all my missing capital letters haha), but i am english, so hopefully i can help

things i noticed were the follwing:

- im english, so i would spell things like 'armor' as 'armour'...depends if you want USA english, or engish english (if that makes sense).Tolkien would write armour if that helps you choose.

-'....led by Anarion Isildu'rs brother' should probably have a comma after Anarion...so 'led by Anarion, Isildur's brother.'

-where it is talking about the army of orcs on 2a, it says 'five times higher than those of many'...to me this isn't clear what you mean by this, and i cannot say whether it is correct or not without know what you mean to say

-straight after that is says 'came to him from the black gates' - it should probably say who 'him' is here.

-the last sentence on that card is a little mixed. i would write it as...

'This would be the largest, and perhaps last and decisive battle. Both sides knew this and it gave both armies the strength of despair.'

-2b. i would write 'thousands of casualties among orc troops' with 'amongst' instead of among.

-'passed the barrier of hard crush arrows' is another part that doesnt make sense to me, however i am again unsure what you mean by this

- under that it should read 'at the beginning of the combat phase'

3b- there should be an and between 'sauron cannot leave the staging area' and 'is considered etc...'

-on sauron enemy card it shoud read 'if an attack damage s sauron'

-also on sauron the part about narsil should read ' if the attacking player does not have narsil, discard the top card of the encounter deck. '

-under that it should read ' if the discarded card has no shadow effect, do not place the resource token'

rich

thank you very much, i'm working to correct all these things.

mndela I love you :-P

P.S.: Get an Avator!

I think also on the Sauron card it should read "Sauron cannot leave the staging area, AND is considered..." But I'm no expert and english isn't my 1st language. Looks like a real killer quest 99 progress!!!

The plan is to release this into OCTGN once it has had some play testing ....

The plan is to release this into OCTGN once it has had some play testing ....

Yes, i've played the quest 3 times with 2 players mode and we win. Alone, also 2 times and i've won.

But, your decks must be "good" decks: mega-dwarfs, outlanders, etc.

Can any player test it more times?

- im english, so i would spell things like 'armor' as 'armour'...depends if you want USA english, or engish english (if that makes sense).Tolkien would write armour if that helps you choose.

While you always have the most useful responses, I would differ with you in this thought. And NOT because I'm from the States , but rather because FFG has already established spelling it as "armor" within the game. Not that I think many of us would have an issue understanding the intent... but you know there would be a few sticklers wondering if the game is finally going to hell based on spelling conflicts... lol

- im english, so i would spell things like 'armor' as 'armour'...depends if you want USA english, or engish english (if that makes sense).Tolkien would write armour if that helps you choose.

While you always have the most useful responses, I would differ with you in this thought. And NOT because I'm from the States , but rather because FFG has already established spelling it as "armor" within the game. Not that I think many of us would have an issue understanding the intent... but you know there would be a few sticklers wondering if the game is finally going to hell based on spelling conflicts... lol

indeed but im trying so hard here not to say something...argh...sorry, i have to, blame english-ness.

no but seriously, the reason i said it was becuase of the fact tolkien would write it the english way, which i still believe is the way that ffg should write the cards.

now, that is not because i think our way is the correct way, superior etc etc...but imagine this (and im trying to think of a real example) ...what would they do if a quote from tolkien's text was needed that had favour,armour, colour and so on? they would have to use the intext quote, thus making it different from their usual american version. it doesnt even have to be a card name, but the little text at the bottom. i may check becuase im now interested if they have done this yet

EDIT- Rumour from the earth i think is an example...would you write it as 'rumor?'

so in short im all for them keeping it consistent, but when a situation arises like above, its just going to be a pain in the A to figure out what to do....

rich

Just to add a little. I'm not an English native speaker; however, I don't see any reason why ffg does this the lame way: going with the American spelling on a Tolkien game. I still cannot push myself into not spelling it "favour" or "armour". I mean there's no need for this whatsoever, I cannot imagine anyone playing the game being so illiterate and not understand the words when they're spelled as they should be (in accordance with the source material).

Hello, in order to all the text could be inside de card (Sauron's card) i write the last "forced" so:

Forced : If an attack damages Sauron, place a resource token on him. If the player who attacks does not control Narsil discard the top card of the encounter deck. If it has a shadow effect, do not place the resource token.

It = the top card of the encounter deck.

Is it correct?

PD: sorry for my english, and thanks for your help.

yes- that makes sense to me

rich

I agree, it does make sense.

However, I've noticed that FFG really seems to avoid using general pronouns like "it", etc unless the specific object was previously mentioned in the same sentence. My guess is they do it to avoid a possible conflict involving multiple subjects/targets. So in this case where there are multiple subjects/targets in the text (Sauron, Narsil, discarded encounter card) they would probably reiterate the specific target in that last sentence. So if I may suggest the following:

Forced : If an attack damages Sauron, place a resource token on him. If the attacking player does not control Narsil, discard the top card of the encounter deck. If the discarded card has a shadow effect, do not place a resource token on Sauron.

I know that it is obvious to 99% of us which of those cards would have a shadow effect, just thought it might help to clarify the "it" part of that last sentence.

Edit: I didn't read all the way to the bottom before making the above suggestion... looks as if Rich already made a similar phrasing suggestion. And apparently, Mndela's question seems to support the suggestion. I still really like the premise of your quest/encounter!

Well, i've corrected your ideas. First of all, a lot of thanks for it!!!

I only display the cards changed and in red i show the text changed...

2 questions:

1. I have decided "armor" and not "armour" is the correct way, because all the cards, when have it, it says: "armor"

2. The "forced" of Sauron i put it on the 3b, because it is very long and i cant put all text in sauron card. I think it is not bad anyway. In Sauron card i add "Indestructible. Damage...."

Is it all correct? Any change could be good? Please, answer...!!!

card 2 A

'five times larger than alliance forces' would read better

'five times larger than THE alliance forces'

rich

ok. Thanks.

If only this is the wrong text, i'm very happy. So is it ready to play now?

PD: i wait any days, correct the last change and i will be do it official.

it looks good to me- apart from one last thing...

"passed the barrier hard crush of arrows"

i do not understand this sentence, would you be able to re-write it so i can give advice?

rich

This is the spanish text:

Pese a la acción de los arqueros de la alianza, que se cobraron miles de bajas entre las tropas orcas, la superioridad numérica del ejercito de Sauron superó la barrera de flechas y envistió con fuerza las filas de la alianza . Pero elfos y hombres resistieron.

http://narsil.webcindario.com/Batalla07.htm

Maybe it can be translated: "passed the barrier of arrows and hard crush the ranks of the alliance". Isn't? How about?

'passed the barriers of arrows' is correct

the next part could read (if im understanding the passage) 'and crushed hard into the ranks of the alliance'

to make the translation easier, you know when, in the film of the fellowship of the ring, at the opening scene of the last alliance, and the orcs smash into the elves with the big swords- well thats what i think the passage is saying

rich

Ok then!,

This is the final result!!!

I think it is optimus! Anyway, can anything correct and became better? Please, tell me....

This is the moment of the film that i most like. I love this moment of the film.

ah yes- i didnt realise the part i was trying to describe is the exact picture!

all looks good to me

rich

Sorry guys,

when i was just finishing all the work, i saw and decided one more little change:

The first phrase of the forced, said: "If an attack damages Sauron", but in the card of Sauron say: "Cannot be placed damage tokens on him"..., so it could generate a confusion.

The new expression i think is better: if final value of an attack to Sauron is bigger than his defense....

But, how is my english? the expression is correct grammaticaly? Must i change any word?

Thanks for your colaboration.

How about this:

"If the total (attack icon) of an attack against Sauron exceeds his (defense icon), place one resource token on him."

How about this:

"If the total (attack icon) of an attack against Sauron exceeds his (defense icon), place one resource token on him."

Or how about just "I an attack against Sauson exceeds his defense, place..."