-The Imperial Confessor believes that if you kick the crap out of something long enough, you can sooner or later beat love, fear and awe of the Emperor of Mankind into just about anything.

-Because of this belief, there is now a sub faction of the Imperial Cult on board the Rogue Traders ship that is made up completely by different kinds of Xeno's who the Confessor abducted/adopted as children over the course of the crews various adventures.

- While he has yet to make the attempt, the Confessor currently has plans to convert a warp demon and show them the light of him on Terra.

Can I steal this for an NPC for an upcoming Black Crusade game?

-The Imperial Confessor believes that if you kick the crap out of something long enough, you can sooner or later beat love, fear and awe of the Emperor of Mankind into just about anything.

-Because of this belief, there is now a sub faction of the Imperial Cult on board the Rogue Traders ship that is made up completely by different kinds of Xeno's who the Confessor abducted/adopted as children over the course of the crews various adventures.

- While he has yet to make the attempt, the Confessor currently has plans to convert a warp demon and show them the light of him on Terra.

Can I steal this for an NPC for an upcoming Black Crusade game?

By all means. Through a part of me has to wonder what your plans are for him.

When the GM rules that, due to a mix up/botched medicae roll by the ships Magos Biologis to repair critical damage/limb loss, your PC automatically fails all dance tests because "He has two left feet".

When your group decides to get into the vid business and their first one is a series featuring a by the book arbiter and a wise cracking Salamander Marine.

When there next vid features a White Scar and another Salamander trying to rescue a hive world governor's daughter.

When your tech priest discovers a HUGE stash of archotech, and actually get's to meet The Omnissiah.

When the Omnissiah turns out to be two kids standing on top of each others shoulders, one with red hair and a pointy nose, the other one with green hair and a tendancy not to talk much.

When the following conversation happens between the Tech Priest and the "Omnissiah"

Tech Priest: "Aren't you boy's a little young to be disguising yourselves as a deity?"

Boys: "Well, since we've been alive since the 3rd Millennium, no, no we're not."

Did you just... subvert the Omnissiah?

HERESY!

You know you're playing Rogue Trader when the crimes you would burn entire planets for are considered to be interesting business opportunities when you're the ones committing them.

Did you just... subvert the Omnissiah?

HERESY!

You know you're playing Rogue Trader when the crimes you would burn entire planets for are considered to be interesting business opportunities when you're the ones committing them.

In order:

Yes, yes I did.

Yes, yes it is.

Yes, yes it is.

When your Void master is Dipper, your Arch-Militant is Wendy, your Seneschal is Mable, your Tech-Priest is Soos and your Rogue Trader is Gruncle Stan.

When you utilize your Trader-Militant warrant to conscript the last imperial guard fighting force in a hive war-world, leaving it to Chaos to take cover.
When confronted by the Departamento Munitorum AND Ordo Hereticus, your RT insane fp is enough to convince them that the planet was lost anyway and it would be best it gets an Exterminatus instead "in order to save valuable Departamento Munitorum assets on the long-term while also leaving an example for heretics and secessionists all across the sector".

When you utilize your Trader-Militant warrant to conscript the last imperial guard fighting force in a hive war-world, leaving it to Chaos to take cover.

When confronted by the Departamento Munitorum AND Ordo Hereticus, your RT insane fp is enough to convince them that the planet was lost anyway and it would be best it gets an Exterminatus instead "in order to save valuable Departamento Munitorum assets on the long-term while also leaving an example for heretics and secessionists all across the sector".

That is just good sense. I've seen Inquisitors do this frequently, as well as their Acolytes attempt this on their own. I know it has been tried in Only War. That's less Rogue Trader and more WH40K as a whole. Still awesome, just thought that was standard OP.

You know you're playing Rogue Trader when creating your own Empire is state-sponsored, only becoming a crime if said State expands it's borders and you don't let them take crazy wytches and start enforcing their laws in addition of your own.

When your session-related notes are printed on the other side of an economical analysis paper, and you're not sure which side is which.

When you wonder whether you can get away with kidnapping an Emperor-class titan from mechanicus using xenotech. And you figure that you probably can.

When you send an agent to the Segmentum Solar so that he can find you a fur made out of real Terran foxes, just so you can make a pun about your female nymphomaniac missionary and vixens.

when your rogue trader buys armour that's as expensive as a frigate and then goes best only get one

when your rogue trader buys armour that's as expensive as a frigate and then goes best only get one

When your Rogue Trader regrets not having a spare when the Factory World that makes them falls to Chaos.

When you go back there to buy another one anyway, and you like the 'modified' one better.

While your Rogue Trader is admired by the Imperium for his dedication for hunting down packs of Elder and wiping them out, in truth the only reason he is doing so is because he is on a personal mission to aquire a matching smoking jacket and bathrobe made out of the flesh of Elder Farseers.

When this causes the RT to gain the fear trait to Dark Eldar, because this creeps them out.

When Asdrubael Vect asks if you could make a second matching pair. And make it appropriately spiky. With their bones.

Not only does the Rogue Trader agree to do this and requests Asdrubael Vect's measurements in order to make it properly, but he openly admits he likes the way he thinks and offers to send him a matching ash tray made from a Farseer skull.

When your RT has more indentured workers (I.e. slaves) then Absdurable Vect has slaves.

When your RT has more indentured workers (I.e. slaves) then Absdurable Vect has slaves.

When the seneshal hires pretty much half of them into his internal spying organisation.

-When it is unclear whether relic light power armor or a cherried out PDF Commissar's uniform better constitutes formal wear

-(My) The arch militant's preferred "enhanced interrogation" technique is known as "knife-boarding"

-When the arch militant knife-boards the wrong member of the Planetary Commander's household...twice

-The resident rent-a-Callidus has laspistol envy

-A "vacation" involves closed mazes, genestealers, and Eldar commissioned tomb robbery

-Your Arch Militant convinces the Explorator that it is worth pressing the Fabricator General to obtain the complete works of the remembrancer "Johnny Cash" for constant transmission over the ship's vox system

-The (half Eldar) Arch Militant has (power) Bro-Fists the Crimson Fists from your flagship's Tactical Squad on a regular basis

-Your fleet entering orbit changes global economies

-The Inquisition holds the mortgage on your spaceship, because holding onto a Luna Class cruiser is tough in this down economy

-And they still can't do diddly about your close ties to the Sunblitz Brotherhood

-The Rogue Trader goes through Razorbacks like they were more like disposable razors

-It could have been a Chaos infected blade, or a Genestealer, it's hard to tell what killed him in this light

-The Arbites know that your dynasty, is in fact, the law

-The investment to create a corps of "Space Marines" with a series of cybernetic and biological implants has been seriously considered. The real shame is that they'll have to put up with Locke pattern bolters rather than Godwyns...Until the Seneschal realizes that heavy bolters aren't that much pricier

-Your bridge is known as the Ritz-Carlton

-The (half Eldar) Arch Militant has (power) Bro-Fists the Crimson Fists from your flagship's Tactical Squad on a regular basis

Aside from the fact that Human-Eldar crossbreeding is a terrible (thankfully no longer canon) idea, I can't possibly picture why there would be a tactical squad on a rogue trader's ship for an extended period of time. You can't really buy their service, and they very rarely (deathwatch is an exception) operate as forces that small (they usually send in at least a company when they go to war).

Does someone need to sing the party pooper song?

When your RT is so influential he can trade favors to get a Space Marine squad assigned to their fleet for an extended tour. The SM chapter considers this a good trade since their marines wind up well seasoned, seeing and fighting an excellent cross-section of Xenos horrors, human scum, and the forces of chaos on a surprisingly constant basis.

The actual reasoning was that they were detached to train the Household Guard of the RT as a favor for returning the remains of several fallen battle brothers, and (un)surprisingly the Valerian dynasty just hasn't found a good reason to slog it all the way back to ol' Pedro Kantor to return Tac Squad Demios to regular duty.

As to half Eldar, you don't like 'em, don't use 'em in your head-canon. I know it doesn't quite 'fit', but it was a fun character concept, still is, and has proven fun for my group. It certainly makes more sense than having a Kabalite running around.

Oh, yeah, also

-When your Explorator develops an equation to determine how many guns per PC are appropriate to the scenario ((Resistance anticipated-Guardsmen on mission)^2)/(BS of Arch Militant-desired damage per turn*3)

I find a flaw in your Explorator's equation 2Acres. It implies that the Arch Militant has a measurable amount when it comes to desired damage per turn. The answer should always be 'More'.

It certainly makes more sense than having a Kabalite running around.

And what's wrong with Kabalite characters? As long as you have a reasonable explanation (such as "he pissed off a haemonculus ancient and ran away to avoid fate worse than death") it's not that big of a deal. And it's quite an asset for the Rogue Trader, since Eldar (as a race) know a lot about the universe.

The actual reasoning was that they were detached to train the Household Guard of the RT as a favor for returning the remains of several fallen battle brothers, and (un)surprisingly the Valerian dynasty just hasn't found a good reason to slog it all the way back to ol' Pedro Kantor to return Tac Squad Demios to regular duty.

Well, ok, but as their sargeant after a few months of delay I would decide to just hitchhike our way back to the chapter's homeworld as soon as the ship comes back to the imperium.

@Senshuken: Are you some kinda greenskin? I've found the average result is 4 guns per person, not too shoddy. Although there's really not enough dakka until the entire universe is a single existence of unquantifiable bullets ripping through space-time, constantly killing and reincarnating in a never ending cycle of dakka.

@Elavion: My issue with Kabalites is their whole hedonistic vampire stick. People start to ask questions when the nice spiky Elf takes people through the door labelled " Torture Chamber Xenos Galley" never to be seen again. I can certainly see DE fitting in well in some parties, I suppose it'd be more appropriate to say that they're not really a fit for my group, who are all pretty laid back in person and overly nice in character across our rotating GM adventures, knife boarding aside, with fluff that got tossed in a blender with 1e Rogue Trader, StarCraft, and A Canticle for Leibowitz. It would certainly make far more sense to have a Kabalite seeking revenge or protection than the progeny of a Sunblitz corsair and a woman from an isolated civilized world who was looking for something to do after retiring from the PDF's Commissar Corp, if one is using GW fluff as their Bible for background. I will openly admit my Arch-Militant is a special snowflake with little to no place in current 40k fluff, but the group enjoys him in our version of 40k, and it certainly doesn't ruin the setting for us. If you don't like the concept, that's cool, I don't expect you to share my feelings on Half Eldar at all. Here, have an internet hug **hug**

-You know you're playing Rogue Trader when 76% of your crew being slaughtered by demons is "a setback"

Edit:

-When the "Retribution of the Emperor" is the flagship of the least patriotic and pious Rogue Traders to ply the trade, with ambitions for a pocket empire and practical secession from the Imperium

T...t...t...Thank you :3

Exactly what happened to us last session

Ok, end of offtop.

-When your primary concern upon encountering a planet with a goddamn chaos god imprisoned on it (it was a god of greed that was put there by the other chaos gods long time ago. There are actually quite a few minor chaos gods in the 40k lore) is "Ok, so how do we trick him so we can steal the shiny archeotech that's all over the planet?". Avoiding massive bursts of warp energy being thrown at our ship comes in second.

-When you schedule a visit in the shipyard to get your ship patched up before you even venture out into the expanse.

-When your letter of refusal sent to the Imperial Navy admiral for the demand of reinforcing the sector's fleet with some of your ships starts with "Dear dad..."

**hug**

T...t...t...Thank you :3

**hug**

-You know you're playing Rogue Trader when 76% of your crew being slaughtered by demons is "a setback"

Exactly what happened to us last session

Ok, end of offtop.

-When your primary concern upon encountering a planet with a goddamn chaos god imprisoned on it (it was a god of greed that was put there by the other chaos gods long time ago. There are actually quite a few minor chaos gods in the 40k lore) is "Ok, so how do we trick him so we can steal the shiny archeotech that's all over the planet?". Avoiding massive bursts of warp energy being thrown at our ship comes in second.

-When you schedule a visit in the shipyard to get your ship patched up before you even venture out into the expanse.

-When your letter of refusal sent to the Imperial Navy admiral for the demand of reinforcing the sector's fleet with some of your ships starts with "Dear dad..."

And ends with: You will have to use your own (regrettably smaller) fleet for this engagement. I cannot solve every single Orc invasion for you!

When the trader decides it would be a good idea to suprise the party by rewarding everyone's hard work and loyalty with their own personal tanks and easily dose so without their knowledge.

A twin-linked plasma Lemon Russ tank with flamer top turret for the Soritas.

A highly customized Landraider for the Tech priest, sporting a banner of the mechanicus cog as well as a new coat of paint, really, blue and white is so boring.

A twin-linked basilisk for the Arch Militant as well as accompanying ammo wagon counting 10 different types of shell, from normal to, in his words, "F**K that whole Hive" gas canisters.

A nice Vindicator with power prow for the ram loving Missionary. Known to only shoot his target after the prow dose.

A (relativity) quiet running Rhino for the Seneshal, as well as an entire shelf in the holding bay for all variants of camo paints. Elite strike force sold separately.

And Finally a Customized Sentinel for the Void master which includes two robotic arms, a shield, a large mono-sword (large pieces of a rivals ship hull, re purposed).

Edit: And the Trader himself of course gets a Baneblade command center to best lead his new mechanized battalion from the front.