So I had an Explorator who wanted to roleplay his character with some choice quotes from the entire 40K RPG line for Techpriest flavor. These quotes are suprisingly few and far between. There's like a dozen of them… so I made some up and pulled a few others from random places that sounded tech-priesty… To this end, I've scoured the web and can find no more. I have also broken those I have found into suitably small chunks to be recombinated. Here is the list I have generated with (most) duplicates removed.

Let's generate some verses for a Madlib style Techpriest Littany! Roll a d10 for each digit in the list until you have a littany of sufficient length to please the machine spirits! Actions in [] brackets are intended to be pantomimed for greater hilarity! Added super-secret-sauce If you "invent" new entries! I have a Google-spreadsheet to produce the combined result too, if anyone is interested.

Example output [To be read in tech-cant]:

"There is no certainty in flesh but death. Strike the first rune upon the [device] casing employing the chosen wrench. Omnissiah bless these vats, let not the Ruinous powers or unfaithful machine spirit sully even the lowliest allele. There is no certainty in flesh but death. "If the sacred tone of approval is given after the panel lights under your left hand, bless the key once with your lips, and insert into the sacred slot lit by holy lumen glow." So proclaimeth St. Geordi!"

For each line in the littany, select one from the following list:

1. "If the sacred tone of approval is given after the panel lights under your left hand, bless the key once with your lips, and insert into the sacred slot lit by holy lumen glow." So proclaimeth St. Geordi!
2. [A libation should be offered.]
3. [Abjure the Silica Animus]
4. [Abjure the Unliving]
5. [bow once]
6. [bow thrice]
7. [Cast forth thy Censer, such that the sacred smoke pleases the Machine Spirit.]
8. [castigate thou unbeliever]
9. [expell thy noxious fumes]
10. [Genuflect while contemplating the beauty of the Logis Key]
11. [if the mounting be cold then pronounce litany of the fourth rune as it is more appropriate.]
12. [if the mounting be hot say the litany of the third rune]
13. [if the second rune is not good, a third rune may be struck in a manner like unto the first. This is done according to the true ritual.]
14. [if this sequence is properly observed the [device] may be brought to full activation by depressing the large panel marked ‘ON’.]
15. [Lay Blood at the Machine God's Feet]
16. [Loudly proclaim the true meaning of the Eighth Universal Law]
17. [Loudly proclaim the true meaning of the Fifteenth Universal Law]
18. [Loudly proclaim the true meaning of the Fifth Universal Law]
19. [Loudly proclaim the true meaning of the First Universal Law]
20. [Loudly proclaim the true meaning of the Fourth Universal Law]
21. [Loudly proclaim the true meaning of the Fourth Universal Law]
22. [Loudly proclaim the true meaning of the Second Universal Law]
23. [Loudly proclaim the true meaning of the Third Universal Law]
24. [loudly proclaim thy access cryptum]
25. [Loudly Renounce the Empyric Device]
26. [On bended knee before the Machine Spirit Altar, command attention of the Machine Spirit by placing thy right hand over one of thou hearts with the fingers closed and the thumb extended, then place thy left hand on the green Altar panel and intone the sacred words;]
27. [on bended knee before the Omnisiah]
28. [Perform the prescribed hand movement with the opposing hand]
29. [Perform the prescribed hand movement.]
30. [place thy first digit of thy aft mechadendrite upon thine cerebrum casing]
31. [Pour Forth a Libation to the Omnisiah]
32. [Proclaim a benefaction in Techno-cant]
33. [Proclaim a maledection in Techno-cant]
34. [pronounce the access code]
35. [Pronounce the true name one of the 1024 unpronounceable tech-demons to cast it out of the machine.]
36. [Raise thy hand]
37. [Renounce at least one tech-heresy]
38. [Renounce at least two tech-heresies]
39. [Repeat.]
40. [scribe a Rune of Protection upon the machine]
41. [speak Loudly the Littany Against Fear]
42. [speak Loudly the Littany of Access]
43. [spin widdershins thrice]
44. [stamp thy foot]
45. [strengthen thy resolve, thrusting thou mechadendrite into the air above thy cerebellum]
46. [strike the first rune upon the [device] casing employing the chosen wrench. Its tip should be anointed with the oil of engineering using the proper incantation when the auspices are correct.]
47. [strike the Rune of Activation.]
48. [strike the second rune upon the [device] casing employing the chosen screw-driver. Its tip should be anointed with the oil of engineering using the proper incantation when the auspices are correct.]
49. [strike the second rune upon the casing employing the arc-tip of the power driver.]
50. [strike the appropriate rune]
51. [strike the rune of deactivation]
52. [The second incantation should not be uttered until all the fumes have come forth]
53. [touch thineself inappropiately with thine mechadendrite]
54. [Turn away from the failures of the Flesh]
55. [When uttering the incantation, mark well that the rod is upon and not within the intake.]
56. [When uttering the incantation, mark well that the rod is upon and not within the intake.]
57. [With push of Button fire the Engine]
58. [Offer a libation to the machine spirit.]
59. "A libation should be offered."
60. A Capite Ad Calcem;
61. Ab Aeterno;
62. Absit Iniuria Verbis;
63. Abundans Cautela Non Nocet,
64. Acta Omni numquam mortalia fallunt;
65. Aktiva Cons Sequentia!
66. Aktiva Cons Sequentia.
67. And spark Turbine into life…
68. And thus the will of the Omnisiah is done!
69. Anima Mechanica, exsuscitare!
70. Anima Mechanica, exsuscitare,
71. As the blood of the slain is laid upon you so may you lay the enemy’s blood at the feet of the Emperor.
72. As the rune of protection is inscribed upon you so may the litanies of protection ward your soul.
73. As the Eight Univeral Law Proclaims: "The Omnissiah knows all, comprehends all."
74. As the Fifteenth Universal Law Proclaims: "Flesh is fallible, but Ritual Honours the Machine Spirit."
75. As the Fifth Universal Law Proclaims: "Sentience is the basest form of Intellect."
76. As the Fourth Universal Law Proclaims: "Intellect is the Understanding of Knowledge."
77. As the Seventh Universal Law Proclaims: "Comprehension is the Key to All things."
78. As the Sixteenth Universal Law Proclaims: "To Break with Ritual is to Break with Faith."
79. As the Sixth Universal Law Proclaims: "Understanding is the True Path to Comprehension."
80. Blessed is the mind too small for doubt.
81. Blessed machine, a thousand pardons for my unworthy hands.
82. Blessed machine, a thousand pardons for my unworthy hands.
83. Blessed machine, I abjure thee to grant your unworthy servant entry to your holy sanctum, to your beating heart.
84. Blessed machine, I abjure thee to grant your unworthy servant entry to your holy sanctum, to your beating heart.
85. Chastise the tech-demon! Begone!
86. Deus in Machina.
87. Deus in Machina.
88. Deus Mechanicus be praised!
89. Deus Mechanicus be praised!
90. Deus Mechanicus.
91. Deus Mechanicus.
92. Deus Mechanicus. Anima Mechanica, exsuscitare.
93. Dimidium Facti Qui Coepit Habet
94. Discarnate entities from unorthodox inventors.
95. Divide et Impera
96. Durate et Vosmet Rebus Servate Secundus
97. Ensure that the cable of empowerment has been inserted into the appropriate socket.
98. Ensure that the miniscule verdis lamp is illuminated.
99. Et dominabitur a mari usque ad mare, et a flumine usque ad terminos terrae.
100. Extra Omnissiah nulla salus!
101. For the Omnissiah!
102. For then the wrath of the engine will be aroused…
103. For then the wrath of the engine will be diminished…
104. From the lies of the Antipath, circuit direct us.
105. From the lies of the Antipath, circuit preserve us!
106. From the rage of the Beast, iron protect us!
107. From the rage of the Beast, iron protect us.
108. From the ravages of the Destroyer, anima shield us!
109. From the ravages of the Destroyer, anima shield us.
110. From the rotting cage of biomatter.
111. From the temptations of the Flashlord, silica cleanse us!
112. From the temptations of the Fleshlord, silica cleanse us.
113. From the weakness of the flesh, Omnissiah save us.
114. From the weakness of the mind, Omnissiah save us!
115. From the rust of the metal, Omnissiah save us!
116. He watches over us now as Battle joins, and in his Shadow we shall advance upon our Enemies and defeat them.
117. His mighty Fists, massive like two Towers of Destruction, laden with the Doom of Mankind's bitter Foes…
118. His mighty Fists, massive like two Towers of Destruction, laden with the Doom of Mankind's bitter Foes.
119. Holy Lumen Glow.
120. Holy Lumen Illuminate our Souls.
121. How like a God He is, that ancient Machine, primal of all His Kind, the Imperator!
122. How like a God He is, that ancient Machine, primal of all His Kind, the Imperator!
123. If the mounting be cold the litany of the fourth rune is more appropriate!
124. If the mounting be hot say the litany of the third rune
125. If the second rune is not good, a third rune may be struck in a manner like unto the first. This is done according to the true ritual.
126. If this sequence is properly observed the [device] may be brought to full activation by depressing the large panel marked ‘ON’.
127. Ignis optika carta mond!
128. Ignis optika carta mond.
129. Initiating activation sequence, aktiva cons sequentia.
130. Aktiva cons sequentia; Initiating activation sequence.
131. Inter machinas, colamus machinatione!
132. Know not the horrors of the Abominable Intellect.
133. Lay blood at the Emperor's feet.
134. Lay blood at the Emperor's feet.
135. Librius machina auroris dei.
136. Machine God set us free.
137. Machine Spirit, accept my gift, Swallow the light, and spit out death.
138. Machine Spirit, forgive my actions, Soon you shall be whole again.
139. May your soul be guarded from impurity as the warriors within you guide your weapons, may you in your turn, guide their lives.
140. May your weapon be guarded against malfunction, as your soul is guarded from impurity.
141. May your weapon be guarded against malfunction, as your soul is guarded from impurity.
142. May all children of the Machine Spirit perform the prescribed hand movements!
143. May your soul be gaurded from impurity!
144. Mechanicus protect us from this rotting cage of biomatter!
145. Mechanism, I restore thy spirit. Let the god-machine breathe life unto thy veins and render thee functional. Deus Mechanicus be praised!
146. Non tamen ignis calore succensus est.
147. Oderint Dum Metuat.
148. OMMMM!
149. Omnissiah bless these circuits, let not the Ruinous powers of unfaithful machine spirit sully even the lowliest moly-circ.
150. Omnissiah bless these vats, let not the Ruinous powers or unfaithful machine spirit sully even the lowliest allele.
151. Omnissiah!
152. Only the smallest mind strives to exceed its limits.
153. Only the smallest mind strives to comprehend its limits.
154. Perform the prescribed hand movement!
155. Piston and Pump…
156. Pump and Piston…
157. Ponite sanguinem ad imperatoris pedes.
158. Praise to the Machine God!
159. Praise to the Machine God.
160. Pull the Lever forward to expel the sacred smoke.
161. Pull the Lever forward to engage the Machine Spirit.
162. Quam similis Deus ipse est, id antiqua Apparatus et de prima factus omnis eius generis, Imperator!
163. Remove your hands from the runes, then take the key from the slot once it’s lumen glow diminished.
164. Repeat.
165. Sed non est laborum fluctuantibus.
166. Sing Praise to the God of All Machines
167. Sing Praise to the God of All Machines
168. Stand true against the trials of war.
169. Stand true against the trials of war.
170. Stand true against the Trials of war!
171. Stipes apud pares aequalis Fusce.
172. Strike the first rune upon the [device] casing employing the chosen wrench.
173. Strike the first rune upon the [device] casing employing the chosen wrench.
174. Strike the Rune of Activation.
175. Strike the Rune of Activation again!
176. Strike the Rune of Vigour.
177. Strike the second rune upon the casing employing the arc-tip of the power driver.
178. Strike the rune of activation thrice.
179. Strike the rune of activation twice.
180. Strike the rune of activation.
181. Tesserae aequalis Lee-mah Eck-oh Tan-go autem turpis Mike Nin-er Wun Nov-em-bah. Centrum. Deus Mechanicus be praised.
182. That Thou wouldst bring us to true comprehension.
183. That Thou wouldst call back to the unity of the Omnisiah all who have strayed from its fold, and to guide all unbelievers into the light of the Machine Spirits.
184. That Thou wouldst pardon us, oh mighty Machine.
185. That Thou wouldst spare us.
186. That Thou wouldst vouchsafe graciously to hear us.
187. That Thou wouldst vouchsafe to govern and preserve thy Holy Machine.
188. That Thou wouldst vouchsafe to humble the enemies of the Omnisiah.
189. The Machine God watches over us all.
190. The Machine God watches over you.
191. The Machine God watches over you. Unleash the weapons of war. Unleash the Deathdealer.
192. The Machine God watches over you. Unleash the weapons of war. Unleash the Deathdealer.
193. The Omnissiah directs our footsteps along the path of comprehesion!
194. The Omnissiah directs our footsteps along the path of knowledge.
195. The second incantation should not be uttered until all the fumes have come forth!
196. The strength of metal endures longer than the strength of men.
197. The will of metal endures longer than the flesh of men.
198. The will of the Omnisiah demands it!
199. The Omnissiah knows all, comprehends all.
200. Then the way shall be clear for the sacred words to penetrate unto the soul of the engine.
201. Then shall the way be clear for the sacred words to penetrate unto the heart of the engine!
202. There is no certainty in flesh but death.
203. There is no Constancy in flesh, only decay.
204. There is no strength in flesh, only weakness.
205. There is no truth in flesh, only betrayal.
206. Thus do we invoke the Machine God.
207. Thus do we invoke the Machine God.
208. Thus do we make whole that which was sundered.
209. Thus do we make whole that which was sundered.
210. Toll the Great Bell Once!
211. Toll the Great Bell Once!
212. Toll the Great Bell Thrice! Hear its holy peal!
213. Toll the Great Bell Thrice!
214. Toll the Great Bell Twice!
215. Toll the Great Bell Twice! Let it ring!
216. Transfer shall expire, Will shall remain.
217. Turbines Spin!
218. Turn away from the failures of the Flesh!
219. Turn away from the teachings of the False Fabricator.
220. Ubi concordia, ibi victoria
221. Vir sapit qui pauca loquitur;
222. While the enemies of the Omnisiah still draw breath, there can be no peace.
223. With push of Button fire the Engine
224. Without the Dark, there can be no Light, We have purpose.
225. Without the Death, there can be no sacrifice, We have purpose.
226. Without the Hope there can be no Future, We have purpose.
227. Without the Lie, there can be no Truth, We have purpose.
228. Without the Loyalty there can be no one progress, We have purpose.
229. Without the Pmnisiah, there is nothing,… And we would have no purpose.
230. Without the War, there can be no Victory, We have purpose.
231. [utter forth the Crypto-Key:-Theta--Omicron--Eye o Wah--Fawks Trawt--See air ah-]
232. [utter forth the Crypto-Key:-Theta--Rho--Eye o Wah--Gulf--See air ah-]
233. [utter forth the Crypto-Key:-Iota--Pi--Indigo--Ferrum--Regulus-]
234. [utter forth the Crypto-Key:-Lamda--Rho--Eye o Wah--Gulf--Sirrus-]
235. In ancient times, men built wonders, laid claim to the stars and sought to better themselves for the good of all. But we are much wiser now.
236. [Let the holy smoke from your Censer cleanse and cast out the foul stench of tech-demons in the device.]
     

This is pretty good. You think you could post that spreadsheet? Popular format seems to be .xls, but it's your opinion. I would, though. enjoy raw text, copying down your list excludes the numbers, so it's kind of hard to use. Nice to see, though.

Update: Cooked up the XLS. I've been stuck on an ipad for a few days and downloading anything from google docs is a pain!

Unnoficiial TechPriest Littany Generator v1: http://www.mediafire.com/view/?aasobt4tsblxysn

MaxSizeis said:

Cool stuff! I checked out your xls and I notice a couple of oddities (besides the obvious ;-).:

- Row 245,246 and 248 return an #name error. Most likely cause you use an non-exitsting function add()

- The ranges you set in column A are not all the same. they vary between 250 and 231 .Is this on purpose?

- column 13 / N contains words (Argent, Black Shadow, etc) which you're not using anywhere

Also, why on earth do you work with some many indirect() functions? Most stuff is static so it appears to be redundant. AFAI can see its only required for the random stuff so:

=IF((INDIRECT(ADDRESS(1;2))=1); INDIRECT(ADDRESS(INDIRECT(ADDRESS(1;1));12));" ")

can also be written as:

=IF(B1=1;INDIRECT(ADDRESS(A1;12));"")

Here an attempt from me, with some clean up of the code, removing errors and some extras

edit: by the way, the universal laws are:

The mysteries

ive added those to the list including the proclammations.

it was originally written on an ipad at a game session break using Google Docs spreadsheet functions, which worked. I had no idea there was no ADD function. Those functions concatenated five or six random entries from the code-word list to generate tech sounding pass-phrases, and each additional entry used the add() function to throw a little variance between the five duplicate entries. (I wanted random passphrases to pop up more regularly, but I didn't want them to be completely the same.). It got used that session, and worked great fluff wise.. so I didn't bother refining any more. I just wanted to share it for other players.

The random numbers in A have varying indexes because they refer to the two Columns of entries. The first 6 are for the lines of the Littany. The last 5 or so are for the next column over, which has a different maximum index. At the time I made the code for the list, there was only 100 or so code-words. Now there's quite a bit more, but still not an exact match for the number of littany verses.

Column N was originally going to be a "Machine Name" generator. The ritualized name of some machine spirit or something. I dunno. It does nothing at the moment.

I'm a noob and I was whipping the excel functions up in an hour or so.. so my coding isn't the greatest. Go figure. On looking at your analysis, I can see I didn't need the Indirect call testing for the randomized length of the littany, and could have just tested for field B1. I tried it before when it was a google doc, but I must have been on drugs or something then. Only way I could get it to test was going insane. It was tech-corruption that made me do it, I swear!

Thanks for providing the content of the Universal Laws and taking a stab at rationalizing the functions.

MaxSizeis said:

I wasn't entirely clear about this, I meant that the varience takes place in the first 6 entries (so all the same column). I had hoped that mentionin 231 would be enough as there are only 149 key phrase entries in column N.

Im impressed though that you created this on an ipad. That would have driven me bonkers. Anyway is the excel sheet behind my link clear to you or does it need explanation?

I believe I see the functional differences between our two versions, and yours definately lays-out the process better. Thank you for rationalizing my bolognese functions. Instead of indirect functions, you use lookups, which I hadnt even heard of, your version is also easier to see what everything I whipped up does.

You can do Everything in Excel, and use Excel for Everything!

I believe Excel is the first rock upon which the faith of the Mechanicus will be founded!

MaxSizeis said:

you're welcome!

Now, from a fluff standpoint, this generator isn't currently capable of actually generating a "littany". It just pulls from random table of quotes I yoinked from nowhere and everywhere. If we could split this table up into various categories, it might be possible to make a script generator to make these littanies make some sort of sense.. but that would be work…

On another note. does anyone have any additional verses that they don't see in the list yet? Does anyone have any verses they can come up with from scratch?

MaxSizeis said:

i can do the scripting if you do the categorizing. Also google 'winds of chaos' and go to the download section, there you find Inn Generator I made a loooong time ago that also has a generator based on categories. Check it out.

o and i already added the tech laws

On 4/14/2013 at 2:52 AM, wolph42 said:

Submitted a Generator derived form your works herein...

http://www.wurkhaus.com/Machine-Litany.html