Data-Ark File LIX (Transcribed from the Vox-Recorded "Annals" of Evan Rikket, Warden of the Divisio Immoralis, Status: Rogue)

By Alekzanter, in Fan Fiction

Tarsus Hive, Scintilla, 838.M41-
I had finally tracked Vesseb (a rogue wyrd employed by a local gambling den that had fleeced a good number of Throne Gelt from +++REDACTED+++) to an abandoned hab-stack. As I carefully picked my way through the detritus-strewn darkness I inhaled a thin haze of dust…no air flow to dissipate the spore kicked up in his passing meant no doors, no windows. I had him cornered.

Of a sudden, I could see my breath frosting in the air…damned wyrds…and Vesseb was revealed as a silhouette near the corner of the room, an odd glow emanating from behind him. With a big, gap-toothed smile, he turned his back on me, dropped his britches, grabbed a handful of his fundament in either hand and…

To this day I maintain that he "used his wyrd 'trips to distract me" and made good his escape.The truth of the matter leaves me in stitches, even now. The odd glow had originated from inside his anus. He yelled over his shoulder at me: "Take one last look at glory before you take me in, Rikkit!"

He padded hesitantly passed me as I stood in the doorway, a confused grin on his face. Incapacitated with uncontrollable guffaws, I waved him on, my Pakk-5 limp in my grasp. He took a few more timid steps, then bolted like a joygirl in for a beating.

I have no idea how long he ran, but I was still laughing, still blinded by my own tears long after he'd left.

I should probably erase this…

reir

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