I am shamelessley coopting a topic introducted by avec in another thread. Just wanted to get that out of the way. Anyhow:

What do you think is the single most absurd bit of flavor text in Arkham? It will probably be an encounter, but feel free to include text from other sources (Mythos cards, character backstories, etc.). Feel free to include multiple ones if you can't decide between them. For me, it's this little gem:

"A little old lady stands in front of you in line counting out a bag of pennies to deposit. Lose 1 Sanity."

I always like to point out that you are far, far, far likelier to go insane from waiting for this old lady than from seeing Cthulhu. Think about that one for a second.

I LOVE Deputy Dingbat...Dingby. He'll accidentally lock you in jail in the Police Station, he'll turn Velma's Diner into a disaster area during breakfast, and, best of all, his bumbling will get you SHOT in Dunwich. I can't help but think that if you followed his family tree, years later you'd end up with Enos.

(I can't include flavor text because, for some reason, my workplace's new firewall prevents my access to the wiki.)

I once had these two encounters in succesion, made me laugh

"Deputy Dingby strides past you with purpose, heading for Osborn's. Make a Luck (-1) check. If you fail, he trips over a stone and his gun goes off, nearly shooting an innocent bystander and sending women and men running. Sadly, it seems the Deputy has sprained his ankle. Sighing, you help him back to the Police Station. Move to the Police Station and have an encounter there. If you pass, he manages to avoid the stone, thanks to your warning, and tosses you $1 for your trouble. "

"Deputy Dingby somehow manages to handcuff the two of you together. Stay here next turn, but you actually gain some valuable information listening to Dingby prattle on until Sheriff Engle returns. Gain 1 Clue Token. "

The stone creature pursues you. Pass a Speed -1 check to escape with the statue, gaining $5 and 2 clue tokens. If you fail the creature smashes you off the cliff, you are Lost in Time and Space.

What stone creature? What statue? What cliff?!

Just a prime example of some 'what the hll is going on' moments from Other World encounters.

Another favourite is 'As you prize the idol out from under the psedopod...' No. No, no no. THe last thin I do is go anywhere near anything that has a pseudopod...

There's a running joke within my group in which we consider certain encounters to have been written in the middle of the night before the game went to printers, imagining some guy -inches away from a nervous breakdown- yelling "Guys, c'mon!!! we're still missing two encounters!! Write something, anything!!!"

There have been a fair amount of really bizarre ones (the aforementioned lady-counting-pennies is a classic), but one sticks to mind because of the effect it had more than the text itself. Back in 2007 some friends and I were playing the game for the very first time. One of the guys, shocked with the way he'd been particularly mistreated by the game in the previous turns, thought it would be a good idea to visit the church, since our first collective assumption was that it would be a calm place to find safe haven in.

He got the "Upon entering the church, you are attacked by Father Michael with a giant cross" encounter.

He has never played the game again ever since.

Along the lines of the penny-counting lady, I've always kind of liked the one at the newspaper where you lose a sanity because of the pattern that forms in some spilled ink.

I also managed to develop something of a reputation among my friends for my dislike of the Unvisited Isle, having run afoul of the "Pass a Will check or the willows' hatred makes you lose 3 sanity" encounter twice in a row. But they believed me the next time, when the UI had the fifth clue I needed, and they all kind of rolled their eyes when I started gibbering about the willows, so I went anyways, and guess what? Angry willows.

This one that I mentioned in the other thread has got to be the dumbest encounter I've ever seen

Curiositie Shop: You don't see anyone in the shop, and yet a small army of wind-up toys wheel their way across the floor towards you. Lose 1 Sanity.

Most of Black Goats encounters are pretty awful. Reading them is like watching a Star Wars prequel.

This one is dumb, but I can't help but laugh

Hospital: As you walk through the halls of St. Mary's, a nurse shoves a wheelchair into your legs, forcing you to sit. She wheels you recklessly through the hospital, informing you frequently that you will be "good as new." Then, stopping abruptly, she tips you out of the chair and to the floor, and speeds off. Unbelievably, your Stamina is restored to full.

This one I like quite a bit

Hospital : One of the staff physicians talks some sense into you. You are disabused of certain crazy but accurate notions. Lose 1 Clue token.

Ah, yes, I love that nurse encounter! The most amusing bit is the "and speeds off," implying that she's on a constant circuit around the hospital.

If we're talking ridiculous encounters that are also amusing, I (as I think I have said previously) am partial to the Harney Jones' Shack encounters from Miskatonic, since they (along with one of the originals from Dunwich) indicate that he is both an expert monster hunter and one encounter short of dying of old age.

I think my favourite series of encounters went as follows (this was actually while playing the older edition, not FFG's, but it was still great):

I went to the police station, the deputy gave me his gun (for reasons one can only guess at.) I stayed there for a turn since there was a scary beastie outside and this little peashooter wasn't nearly enough. The deputy offered to give me a ride (which was great because it got me past the beastie) A turn or two later I wound up back at the police station, whereupon the deputy immediately arrested me. I like to think he did it because "I stole his gun." =P

Steve-O said:

::laughter:: too much whisky makes a man's memory bad...

Weyoun said:

... I found this completely hilarious.

subochre said:

In the ancient days of yore--that is, back when all I had was the base game--I introduced the game to my pal Pizza. (We still play to this day.) When there were so few Encounter cards per neighborhood, repetition was almost guaranteed. It got to the point where we would begin to yelp the specifically despised Encounter at many Locations in some attempt to have the Universe dispel them before drawing, like "BATS!" at the Black Cave, or "GYPSIES!" at Independence Square. It was terrifying how often that seemed to SUMMON the **** card instead!

Thankfully, this issue was eventually diluted away, and a more generalized superstition of "Don't Say It Out Loud!" was adapted. But every once in a while, I'll still belt out a "BATS!" when Pizza's drawing at the Cave, to which he will usually bark loudly, "No! Shut up!"

You come upon a cavern filled with human brains, if you were to eat, them maybe you could also consume the knowledge the contain! Make a Lore (-1) check. If you pass, you may lose sanity to take clue tokens, at a rate of 2 sanity each.

Cavern? brains? success!

satanito said:

What kind of slapdash logic is this??

Tibs said:

Brains is where the knowings are... eat brains get smarts.

I still don't understand...but I have an idea. Hold still for a second

subochre said:

;'D

Tibs said:

It's not bad logic. Certain civilizations still believe it. It IS bad science.

Well, I don't think our New England 1920s investigators are part of that civilization!

Akachi Oneyle.

Of course eating brains makes you smart. (Link to a disturbingly appetizing cow brain sandwich, with pickles.)

This is honestly one of my favorite encounters ever

The Dreamlands: It's lovely here, and perfect... so perfect you might stay forever. Make a Will (+3) check. If you pass, gain 2 Sanity. If you fail, you are devoured.

avec said:

It is a good encounter, and I recognize the Lovecraft reference too.

Which might that be, Tibs? I've read quite a few of his dream stories, and the notion sounds vaguely familiar, but I can't place the particular story.

I don't know about Lovecraft, but the idea is a variation of the Isle of the Lotus Eaters .

Walk said:

I believe the idea crops up in The White Ship (and later in The Return of the White Ship ).