I was on a gaming forum some time ago and there was a thread that was hilarious. It was about sharing your worst games played. The stories that were post were hilarious, so I thought I would see if you guys would like to share worst games played.

The one that comes to my mind was a dnd game where I sat next to the DM’s kid’s play pin. I was just sitting there then I realized that there was lingering odor that I couldn’t pin point. Then the child in the pin started to act up and then I realized that this play pin looked like it came from the 70’s and never washed. That was the source of this phantom smell, the cushion was stained with ages of urine and god knows what else. It was so bad that I felt like I needed to take a shower from sitting so close to it. Needless to say I decided to leave the game and never return.

flyboy0106 said:

That's not hilarious. That's depressing. Hope the kid was not neglected.

It can be difficult to translate those moments from the table, to the forum, but there are some amazing stories people share, yeah. Here's my offerings. Slightly less "worst game" and more "hilarious moments".

When asked to provide his plan during a Planescape game, one of our players offer the suggestion of; "We hold out until the armies of Heaven arrive!". That was hilarious because he was deadly serious and had no reason for thinking they ever would. And wasn't even playing a Cleric of said Heavens. Lol.

I ran a Star Wars game briefly, where one player was playing a Jawa. He took off his robes because he was too hot, then asked me what he looked like! I was stumped and I'll never forget that. LMFAO.

Our current Rogue Trader game is largely based around the very competent characters holding together the mini-empire of the incompetent Rogue Trader. The Lord Captain Solarius left it to the seneschal to explain his master-stroke with regard to the ever-dwindling treasury. The following month all pay to non-command staff was to be made in Solariuns . He had been minting the coins in secret for a while now, and had enough to pay the wage deficit. The player's faces at the table were hilarious, as were the ship-board riots that ensued.

Lastly, I run a DC game, which I really enjoy as it lets me portray a variety of characters from the comics. One of the players has a suit of armour, like Iron Man I suppose. Because his identity is a secret, all the NPCs think he is a robot. When Supergirl made this mistake, the heroes turned to her in genuine shock, exclaiming "But you have x-ray vision!" To which she replied; "Yeah, but I don't just use it all the time. That'd be rude!" Lol. The discussion that followed led to everyone agreeing that if you wore Superman's crest, it would be the responsible thing to do, not looking at everyone using your super powers.

No. Not even Catwoman.

;p

Peace!

About half a year ago I was incredibly bored during summer vacations and was looking for a new game to play in since I was usually the DM in my groups.
Luck (or misfortune actually) would have it that my only LGS had a group looking for players.
I called the DM with the number provided and he told me that we would be playing DSA (Das Schwarze Auge, a german roleplaying game kinda similar to AD&D but using 3d20). He told me that the game would involve lots of mystery, riddles and similar elements only having very few hack and slash moments that were so typical for DSA usually (from what he told me at least, this was my first encounter with that game).

At this point I need to throw in a little intermission about how the DSA system works at its core:

You have 6 (or 7, i forgot) attributes like Bravery, Vitality, Dexterity and so on with values between 1 and 20.
Every skill uses 3 of those attributes. So for example the Climb Skill might be Strength, Strength, Vitalty.
This means that if you want to climb something you roll 3d20. You try to roll below your values for Strengt, Strength and Vitality.
If you have points in Climb you can use those to adjust your dice rolls by that amount.
If you roll a 1 on any of those d20 then it's a critical success.
If you roll a 20 on any of those d20 then it's a critical failuire unless you have an equal or higher amount of 1s.

So all in all you have a 14.26% chance of rolling a critical failure and a 14.26% chance of a critical success.
If you include cases where you can have both it gets more complicated but that doesn't really matter.

What does matter is that the DM decided to ignored the part about critical successes and ony left the chance of critical failures as it is.
So on ANY given test no matter how easy you had a ~15% chance of a critical failure. If you thought that d20 system is bad because of it's 5% failure chance than good luck with this.

Well that's how it started (of course the DM only told me about this adjustment to the rules after I had arrived and made a character).

So onto the adventure itself:

He ran a pre-published adventure, if you've played DSA before you might have heard ot it. It's called the Tavern of the Black Boar (ger.: Taverne zum Schwarzen Keiler).

Unfortunately I hadn't heard about the adventure...

It is the grindiest, hack'n'slashiest railroading adventure I've ever read.

It starts in a tavern. The players are quickly captured and jailed for not yelling some stupid catchphrase when the ruler of the land enters.
Funny side note: The adventure litarally states that if any of the players (players, not characters) manage to yell the correct catchphrase in time and without fail (which is quite hard since it's some jibberish pseudo-german/english phrase) than the DM should just make up some other reason for them to be thrown in jail.
After that the guards steal most of your stuff (horray!).

The only way to escape it via the innkeeper's assistant which tells you about a secret door in the cellar in which you were thrown.

After that it's onto the dungeon that lurks beneath. I'm not going to go into detail about that but let's just say it's a typical oldschool dungeons with lots of traps, monsters that are somewhat out of place and little to no story.

Buuut that's not all.

Let's backtrack a bit to the moment the players were jailed in the cellar. At one point an NPC comes and frees you after that you are without most of your gear and without a light source in a dark cellar.

Obviously the first action our group took was to make a fire using the rope we were previously restricted with and some flint&steel that the guards didn't take from us.

We weren't on a timelimit.
There was no harm that could come from failing to light a piece of rope (in a stone cellar) on fire.
Our character weren't under any stress, drug influence, spell or other hindering condition.
So the DM made us roll. And lo and behold none of our players manage to get it on the first try. (Partially due to the high chance of a critical failure).
So I said the the DM: "My Character will continue to try until that piece of rope burns (unless I'm interupted by an outside source)".

To which the DM replies:
No you can't.
The firemaking skill is on cooldown .
You can try again in 10 or maybe 15 minutes.

I was blown away.
I played the rest of the game on autopilot only responding when my group wanted anything.
I left after that and never returned.

Any game played with a certain guy I know. Most people I know refuse to play with him anymore because he ALWAYS kills teammates. 4 out of 6 characters he has played while I've been in the same group have killed or tried to kill teammates. The other two died before he had the chance to. And I know he has done the same to other groups he has been in. Still he consider himself the greatest roleplayer ever because he takes his characters so serious.

For example: First we had a radical somewhat shifty group but we had a good dynamic going between the players. Then he jumps in and makes an arbitrator whose only mission was to "stop" our heresy. We were put in a penal legion because of him. And later died because of that.
So we decide to make a social good guy group where we incorporate some background with each other and invest some in the other players. He makes an antisocial feral worlder who tries to sacrifice the weakest character on our first mission because she was weak. Fortunately he skipped our group shortly after that for which I’m very grateful.

And this is just two of the many stories where he tries to kill people in the group. Now I’m not beneath dying at the hands of another player but there is a right way to do it and a wrong way. This is definitely the wrong way.

Musclewizard said:

Wow. Just. Wow.

Funny how the people who always insist their games are replete with role-playing and so on usually end up running the most rote mechanical games ever. Still, I have to hand it to you. This one takes the cake.

Sehela said:

Yeah, I knew a guy like that once. Only had the pleasure of actually role playing with him once but it definitely ended with him backstabbing the entire party. And the others in the group had no end of similar stories about him from games gone by. The weird thing was, he WAS a really good role-player. The character concept he used in the game I played with him was one of the best I've seen. (He was a Bard [tm] in a D&D game whose profession was a jester. Instead of singing to boost morale, he told jokes; which he actually did throughout the game and they were usually pretty good.)

Yet, somehow, his characters always find reasons to betray the rest of the group, and he's not shy about doing so once the opportunity arises. Weird.

Talking about horrible games eh. My friends and I (all of us were around 13 yrs old at the time) was looking for a DND game to play, and we came across this acquaintance who played with a GM. After playing a few sessions, we learned he wasn't to bad if you got past some of his morbid humor. Example: He created a NPC 'god' whose names was Mucus who, inquisitively, was the father of mucus. So, we run into Mucus after a dungeon run, and he eats all of our characters and regurgitates us back up, with mucus armor and weapons. This was so we could fight some other evil god who we ran into later. Yea, weird, but he had a reason so I was forgiving to an extant (13, what do you expect).

Anyhoot, after awhile during another session we are in this tavern (YAY!), and one of the PC's insults this npc fighter who's being rude and obnoxious (a bar fight, who would of guessed). Somehow, another PC calms him down (don't ask me why, can't remember), so all is good right? Nope. Later that night, the same PC along with myself are heading to our rooms to rest. And who do we run into, but the drunken npc fighter whose with an npc woman. And what does he want to do? Fight us, while he's nakid and drunk. Me being the fighter and protective of our PC cleric, decide to fight in his stead. And what happens? I get attacked by a male appendage.... Mind you, our char's around lvl 5 with about the same lvl of gear, and so this should be stupid yet funny right? Nope, his appendage has sharpness and goes through my armor like butter. And I still can't seem to hit him even though I have a +1 sword. Yea, so I fall unconscious after awhile due to wounds. Well, the cleric joined in about half way through it, and loo and behold, the nakid woman joins the fight. What does she attack him with... two knockers... Yea, really, those, and they have sharpness too, go figure. So the cleric goes down.

The game wasn't over, because, well it gets worse. Good news is my friends discovered us after awhile, and learn who attacked us. Being pretty ingenious and planning it out, the other PC fighter, rogue, and wizard fight the two npc's. The used grease, fire, traps, tables and chairs as shields/barriers, other diabolical ideas. Well after awhile, guards show up and place all of us in jail.

And what happens in jail, but utter depravity. Why? Because the npc's were thrown in the same cell with us, and wanted us to perform certain "acts" on them and with each other. Guards never came to stop them, no matter how much ruckus we made, and didn't seem to care what the two npc's did to us or made us do. We all decided to commit suicide so we wouldn't have to go through it again. After that particular game "session" we never went back.

My worst game? Itwould have to be my groups very first game of D&D. I was a level 2 human pally, my freind was a level 2 human sorcerer and my other friend was a dwarf ranger who was level 3. We found a chest and when we opened it we found a sentiant great axe. I take lead and step to the next room, falling into a pit. The sorcerer asks me if I reached the bottom yet, and my response was a rock to his face nearly killing him in one shot. I manage to get up and a Ghoul jumps us! It kills me and the others are maimed. I turn to my friend and tell him to maim and destroy my body so that we don't have another ghoul. He proceds to do it. Next thing we know another ghoul pops up and kills the sorcerer. The dwarf runs away and pretty much the campaign ended there.

Got another one I just remembered. I was GMing Shadowrun (google it for reference) and we had 4 old players, and 3 new players one day. So, instead of me trying to explain everything to them and GM (because I didn't know they were coming, one of the old players brought them), I told the guy that brought them (calling him Bob) to give them a run down on Shadowrun and pick pre-created char's from the book. So, as he's doing that, the main PC group steals some data from a big corporate firm, and goes into hiding in a hideout they had. The hideout was located in an abandoned corporate building in a rundown part of town.

The new PC's, I told everyone, are people the old PC's called in to help them out, since the corporate firm will be gunning hard for them. Everyone knows everyone, but I let them introduce each. Off course, after a week of hiding low, I had a snoop scoping out the place trying to find out if that's where the PC's are hiding at. This put the PC's on high alert. There is 2 deckers, 1 rigger, and a cyber guy (Bob) in the old crew. In the new crew 1 cyber guy, 1 stealth guy, and 1 gun smith. Sure enough, the snoop finds out the PC's are their, and asks for back-up. And back-up, comes in the form of an attack helicopter, and 20 heavily armed and armored troopers.

So, stealth guy is outside, and kills two snipers and the snooper, no problem. 2 deckers go in the matrix and rigger logs into his drones. Enemy coms go down, and almost all of the troopers get slaughtered inside by the drones, Bob and the gun smith PC. Where is the other cyber guy, watching the deckers. Why? Because he believes they can be taken over like in the Ghost in the Shell. Tried to explain it to him it doesn't happen like that, but he wouldn't listen.

Well, it just so happens Bob was feeling deceitful that night, and told all the new crew the Ghost in the Shell stuff does happen, and happens to all people that go into the matrix (online). And to not listen to me if I said it didn't, because, being my insidious self, would lie and later spring it out as a trap. After the session ended I was told all this, mind you.

What happens next. Well, one of the deckers gets in an online battle and spasms and foams at the mouth. And what does the new cyber guy do? Kills said decker. And proceeds to train his weapons on the rigger and other decker. Obviously, I was dumbfounded by this and so was the rigger and other decker. The rigger happened to have a drone in the room, and upon witnessing said act, started to think the new PC's were part of the hit crew sent to kill the old PC's (something I would do, to an extent). He does what any sane person would do, and tries to kill the cyber guy in the room with him. Well, cyber guy wins, kills the rigger and then the other decker, just to be safe he says. By this time, all the players are like WTF, and so what does the stealth guy do to add to the mayhem? He decides he's going to turn traitor since everyone else is. And as soon as the gunsmith PC exits the building shooting at some troopers, he shoots the PC and kills him. Yea, game pretty much ended from there. I think we played it out and had Bob and the cyber guy go at it, and as far as I can recall one of them committed suicide and with a grenade and killed the other.

In the end, I told everyone that the experience they had was all a dream caused by magic, and poof, everyone was alive and "well". It just so happened that during the last session the PC mage was seriously wounded, and the person called in sic this games anyway. Was going to let it slide that non of them thought of hiring a another mage since the PC's was recovering from grievous wounds, but had a better plan at the end. The dreams was concocted by the enemies mages who induced them into a hypno state, long enough for the troopers to gain access to the building and sedate and capture all said occupants. Hence, the alive and "well" part.

Still though, my previous post was my worst game ever. This one was just worse for all the PC's because all their toys were taken for awhile.

Note: I will continue to rebut all allegations of uttering the concept that people minds can be hacked into and seized to be utilized as puppets. However, I'm still waiting to spring it on someone, and prove them right.

Saygah said:

Thats just grand, would have loved to see that one play out.

Nameless2all said:

I know this isn't a competition, but I declare this one the winner!

ronaldo1 said:

It was grand. When the players had recovered themselves enough from all the laughter, we had a great session. Aboard the flagship, which is heavily Martian, there were huge riots. Not even extra rations and sending of dissidents to the Servertorium could stop them. It got really nasty. In comparison, things were much calmer on board the other main fleet vessel, a heavily religious ship. The ship's clergy, led by our maniacal Confessor, bought all the coins they could in exchange for the Thrones they had originally taken as tithes. This helped keep things under control. Her Captain runs a much tighter ship though. ;D The confiscated coins were all melted down to make a statute of the Emperor, in an effort to show the Lord Captain Rogue Trader exactly what they thought of the whole thing! Then an unexpected challenge arose - how to stop the two crews talking to each other? The flagship crew are going to be pretty upset when they finally do find out what happened. And they are likely to want re-numeration....

In other news: My efforts to steer this thread towards less depressing comedy seem to have failed....

Peace!