Twas the Dust before Christmas...

By blkdymnd, in Dust Tactics

Merry Xmas everyone!

Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the trench
Gorilla carcasses littered the ground, filling the mud and stench
The shotguns's were slung on their shoulders with care
Knowing that another Axis offensive soon would be there

The soldiers were nestled all snug in their dread
While visions of lasers and gasmasks filled their heads
Joe Brown scanning the field for signs of the enemy
Had just settled down for a well deserved MRE

When out towards the perimeter, there arose such a clatter
Bazooka spun out of his fatigue to see what was the matter
Away to wall of the trench like a flash
He tore up the ladder as he tripped over some trash

The moon on the mud and lightly falling snow
Gave too much daylight to the figures below
When what would be out there, what was afoot?
But a gigantic Lothar and some zombies to boot

But a figure, all dark was the one he would hex
He knew in a moment it was the dreaded Grenadier X
More rapid than rats, his zombies they came
Joe spun around and called his squads up by name

Now Hellboys! Now Gunners! Now BBQ Squad!
On Red Devils! On Hammers! Get up to the top!
To the top of the ladder, to the top of the wall!
Now move it you monkeys! Move it you all!

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly
The zombies would clear an obstacle, seeming to launch in the sky
So up the perimeter, the undead they flew
With the hell in their eyes, and Grenadier X too

And then in a second, Joe snapped back to life
Pulled out his launcher and readied his knife
As he drew up his head and gave them a glare,
The squads behind him started to light up the air

X was a gruesome sight from head to foot
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot
A gigantic bladed weapon he pulled off his back
And brought it to life, felling an ally with a hack

His eyes seemed dead empty, his pallid flesh decayed
His buzzsaw spinning wildly as soldiers flesh he flayed
His mouth seemed to grin as he moved through the crowd
Red splatters against the engine, all oily and loud

When finally from behind the trench and the wall
Joe pulled in a deep breath as he recognized the Fireball!
The walker came across the field of death
And readied its muzzle to unleash its hot breath

Grenadier X finally stopped his carnage cold
The other zombies, not smart enough to follow the retreat they were told
As a flare sparked the front end of the cannon of fire
It spread it's death over X and his lot, creating a pyre

Joe spoke not a word as the fire blew away
Through the mist and smoke, he spotted his prey
Grenadier X limped away, a bit burned and scorched
The Lothar retreated, not saving any that were torched

Joe sprang to the top of the Fireball, giving the Axis a whistle
And watched them all fly like the down of a thistle
And they heard him exclaim, these words he did yell
"Merry Xmas you bastards, next time I'll burn you all to hell!"

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Splendid, sir! That was a great read, and specially sweet that it was for the allied POV.

Too funny! Thanks for the laugh. I wish you (and everyone else) a merry Christmas. Or a happy what-ever-you-celebrate.

-Jeff

Now let me try to balance it out:

Joy to the world, the Loth is come!
Let them receive his charge;
Let allied hearts prepare for doom,
Hell Boys won't leave the barge,
And Pounder won't leave the barge,
And Hot Dog is missing a chunk quite large.

Joy to the world, the Lasers reign!
No matter what they deploy;
Against troops and tanks, grunts, heroes and crates
Repeat the roll of joy,
Repeat the roll of joy,
The whole allied forces we will destroy.

No more let Mickey and Wildfire go,
Nor BBQ infest the battleground;
Lara comes to make her MGs heard,
And with her the Flaks are found,
The Heavy Flaks are found,
If you don't make a Move, your face they'll pound.

Axis rules the world with Luther and Hans,
And takes the nations' love;
The glories of his panzerfaust,
And a great big panzer glove,
And a great big panzer glove,
Let Lothar rain fire from high above

Well played sir. :)

HAHAHA!!! Well done to you both and a Happy Holidays to all!

Best Dust story so far...

Hat is off!

Very nice!

Happy Holidays!