DW has a steep, steep learning curve...you know this. This is a problem. You have acknowledged this. You are uncomfortable with a one-shot kill...ok. You think the toys get too uber at level 3...fine.
So I suppose the question I need clarified is this: what do you mean by 'balance'?
And, again, you claim to not slag the system, but: "an extremely brutal system where offence totally eclipse defence" sounds like a slag to me.
Are you looking for solutions to these problems, or are you just wanting a place to vent? Cause i'll give you all the room you need if that's all you're here for...but if you want answers, then posit some sort of answerable question.
But, remember, since you find the system lacking, any solutions are going to require, by definition, your own sweat and effort to modify and correct. No magical sugarplum fairy is going to magically make all your concerns vanish in a poof! The game designers are done their work...time for us to take over.
And, no, I don't have fun trying to help people who don't know what they want. Help me help you, and stop being a jerk to the folks who are trying to work with you to squeeze more enjoyment out of your game.
)...but at this point, we've picked up most of the 'routine' boosts/skills/etc....so the xtra wounds are the dressing, the gravy, on top of all the other crap the pc's have picked up...but, we've noticed that once you get an extra few, it can be the factor that pushes your survivability for one more round. (not always, of course, and usually not when wanted/needed, but it's there)...I also felt the need to mention it because, in our group, everyone is buying different priorities - some want skills, others boost their base stats, others focus on distinctions; but all, at this point, are buying wounds (sure, partly cause there's not much left to buy, but mostly for the survivability boost).