and there on my stoop was an innocent looking white box. I looked around and saw no one. Taking the box inside, proceeded to open it and was most suprised to see a smaller box with the label Arkham Horror and some grotesque artistry of mad genius. Most intriuged I opened this smaller box. It contained many strange and curious objects and tome of vague repulsiveness. Even though I was feeling uneasy, I girded myself against whatever insanity lay ahead. For a long while I studied the tome and followed its instructions as to how to arrange the objects in the proper way. The next few hours were lost to me as that unholy configuration absorbed me totally. Only after the conclusion of the ritual did my senses return and I beheld the full blasphamey of what I had wroght. Now as I write this, I can sense the stirring in the shadows, a vague darkness that slowly encroaches on my mind. I can feel the eye of the otherworlds upon me and I fear my time is limited. If I am never heard from again, let this be your guide to discovering my fate. I go now with terrible trepidation and can only hope that I may one day again correspond here.

As I write this, I know that they are coming for me. Soon I shall be under lock and key at Albany Sanitarium for the hellish details that I have trusted to officials. Following is a summary of the tale that I told to them:

When I lifted the lid off of that accursed box, it sighed heavily with a cold, stale breath. Thumbing through its contents, I was delighted to find that everything was in order.

But then, as I removed the last cardboard sheet, I noticed something odd...

Flipping through the investigators with utter disbelief and horror, and with an increasingly frantic fervor, surmounting to the point where I was unceremoniously tossing them aside, my heart slowed to a tentative still...

My copy of Arkham Horror was missing its investigator sheets, and all were replaced with sixteen copies of Patrice Hathaway !

I beseech you good sir make no further examination of the contents of that box! I myself received such a horrible delivery only two weeks past and nothing but trouble has found me since. The day after receipt a terrible storm assaulted my fair town and the thundering menace left us with no electricity for the remainder of the day. Soon after my body was taken by a most insidious virus which left me weak and almost unable to perform the simplest of tasks for nigh upon a week. Since my recovery I find my sleep disturbed nightly be dreams of darkness and fear. I am now a shell of a man unable to get reprieve from my daily toils due to my terrors at night. Again, good sir, CEASE YOUR STUDIES!

(All true too! Well some minor embellishment was added.)

::Laughter::