Rejected Features

By Fabian Grax, in Gears of War: The Board Game

I love playing the video game version of Gears of War as much as the next guy, but I'm sure there were a few aspects from the video game that FFG quickly realized wouldn't fly. So, without further ado, here are some rules/abilities/etc that I speculate were briefly considered for inclusion before FFG threw them out:

Texture Popping: At the start of the game, the COGs are confused and disoriented at the bizarre, featureless expanse before them, with strange figures that look mutated marshmellows all around them. All COGs can only move half their normal distance, and if they roll a hit on a Locust character, they must reroll and keep the second result.

"F***ing Unreal Engine!!!"

Cringe-worthy Dialogue: Your character said something that's supposed to be a badass one-liner, but came off like an embarrassing and failed attempted at acting macho. The COG's player must think up a suitably terrible one-liner and say it out loud. Then, all other COGs are stunned for the remainder of the round, and their players must be facepalming during this time.

"More like TEN s***loads!"

Death by Cutscene: A COG attacked by a Locust character with this ability will be automatically killed. The death will occur over two rounds, and during this time the other COGs may not assist their fellow COG or attack the Locust that is killing him, as that would ruin the moment.

"Nooooooooooooooo!"

Whiny Ten Year-Old: A COG with this card must always move towards the current objective if possible and is not allowed to take cover. He may, however, always perform an attack unless stunned. If the COG is incapacitated, the other COGs must immediately attempt to revive him or they will forfeit the rest of their actions this round.

"WHY AREN'T YOU GUYS HELPING ME!?! GOD, I'M DOING ALL THE WORK!"

(All jokes aside, I'm actually looking forward to this board game and I'll definitely get it if it's any good.)

Fabian Grax said:

Cringe-worthy Dialogue: Your character said something that's supposed to be a badass one-liner, but came off like an embarrassing and failed attempted at acting macho. The COG's player must think up a suitably terrible one-liner and say it out loud. Then, all other COGs are stunned for the remainder of the round, and their players must be facepalming during this time.

"More like TEN s***loads!"

Hilarious!

Seriously, thank you for posting this. I think you just made my day. =)