How do techpriests eat?

By Berengario, in Dark Heresy

Sergeant Brother said:

Since we're going for efficiency, why go through the work of sending the food all the way through the mouth and the esophagus? Just have a hatch in the abdomen with the internal blender there next to the stomach. That saves room in the face for the vox implant and other implants that are more conveniently located in the head.

because power armor. you may not want to get undressed to eat, but taking your helmet off is easy. getting to the torso under whatever armor you have is both socially impolite, as well as tactically inadvisable. the head is more often already exposed, and can turn in various directions. also, would you want such a large hole in your subdermal armor over the torso?

also, remember that cybernetic senses specifically mention taste, and such sensors are most often located in the head. a good cyber-tongue would probably include some type of chemical analysis sensor. once you overcome the weakness of flesh, such sensors can be quite useful for finding poison.

also, at the end of the day, you want to be able to vomit. its a basic defense of the body against poisons by ejecting them from your system. now, how many fun bionics do you think we could hook up to that sort of thing?

I can't see it either! I'll just have to try scanning it again as a different file type when I return to work on Monday I guess as I've had no success converting it. It is just a very crude sketch though, so please don't hold you breath.

Seems like Sergeant Brother can see it though, thanks for the laughter.

Captain Xenon said:

because power armor.

Tech-Priests in power armour? Not sure if that's "working as intended".

Though even if it were, I guess it'd be fairly easy to combine the two things. We're talking AdMech here, after all, and connecting one piece of technology to another should be fairly easy.

Actually, the Marines do that as well, their armour featuring an integrated waste recycler unit and all.

@ Zakalwe: No worries, I'm not that good at drawing stuff either. What matters is that it's funny, and judging from Sergeant Brother's comment, it is. :D

Lynata said:

(I didn't even know you could upload pdf's on imageshack >_>)

I guess you can upload them... but Imageshack won't know what to do with them apparently.

@Zakalwe: I've downloaded the pdf so I could open it... and it did make me chuckle ;-) I went ahead, cropped it and converted it to a jpg. If you want, I can post it here and save you the trouble of rescanning it.

I fail at the internets. When I try to download it in the forum, it just offers me the html page. When I try to download it on imageshack, I only get a blank page. And when I try to open the URL in the reader, I get an error message.

*shakefist* @ Mechanicus :P

@ Graver, that would be great, thanks. What program did you use to convert it to jpg?

Zakalwe said:

What program did you use to convert it to jpg?

I know that much. ;)

Here ya go...

An in-depth and thoughtful exploration of a Tech-Priest's gastrological habits by Zakalwe. YUM!

Untitled.jpg

@Zakalwe: Lynata pretty much covered what I did... except I just selected the image in the pdf, copied it, then pasted it in ms paint. Granted, it wasn't perfect, I had to resize it as it was oddly stretched thin, and rotated, but nothing big. The hardest part was finding the right address so I could download the pdf ;-)

haha, everyone needs a fruit f**ker 2000 aplauso.gif

Hahah, nice! aplauso.gif

Hehehe... Just don't want to think how the end-product is disposed of....

Well done team, let's chalk that up as a victory for international cooperation aplauso.gif I'm glad you liked it, makes all the run around worth while I guess, thanks for all the help and computer tips Graver and Lynata.

@ Mosern, re. "Just don't want to think how the end-product is disposed of...." in an earlier post I said:

""How do you like the stir fry pork Magos?"

Clunk, whizzzzzz-grrrr-zzzzzzz, clunk. Swoosh!

"Yes, very nice thankyou".

Probably makes exactly the same noises at the other end too."

I hope sound effects will do, because I can't see myself doing a picture of the other end!!

A very funny picture indeed! Nice work, Zakalwe! :)

Side note: when I realized the techpriest is "eating" just fruits I couldn't help but laugh: in fact in my mind it formed the idea of a "vegan techpriest", which sounds odd and bizarre enough. Should you add a balloon saying: "Because I care for the environment!", it could be used as an agri-world advertising as well! ;)

mosern said:

Hehehe... Just don't want to think how the end-product is disposed of....
**** bricks :P

It's too bad that this joke totally gets lost in translation, but imitation cheese and ham are called " Analog käse" & " Digital schinken" in German. Sounds like perfect Tech-Priest food!

Berengario said:

in fact in my mind it formed the idea of a "vegan techpriest" ....

This reminded me of the excellent

:)

Sorry all, my earlier post was meant to include a witty remark at the bottom. Then I realized, I'm not witty corazon_roto.gif . Which sucks, because now I have to find a new main weapon for my adept. Before, it was all "I stab the cultist with my rapier wit for 1d10+Int Bonus"....

I think TP's, in terms of efficiency, would use some sort of delivery system and compressed air tubes to, as a monkey may, "fling his **** at people who piss him off." A most impressive deterrent. Especially if he uses the aforementioned shatted bricks.

Keeping in mind, of course, that not all Tech Priests are augmented the same way, any and all of these solutions make sense.

Though, one must recall that some portions of the Priesthood - like the Psychologis and Biologis for example - are less likely to have a great deal of augmentation to certain portions of their body; instead, perceptive organs, brain, and sensation processors are most likely to be altered. (I like to imagine a Psychologis priest having a device which creates artificial empathy on demand) So, it really does depend on your character or just what branch of the church you are dealing with.

Darth Smeg said:

Berengario said:

in fact in my mind it formed the idea of a "vegan techpriest" ....

This reminded me of the excellent

on Youtube :)

Wonderful indeed! It's addictive! Thank you so much for the link! :)