I know how you feel and tbh I was kind of trying to agree with you but not saying it very well. I try not take anything too personally on a forum because tone is almost impossible to determine. I agree that DnD as a system in no better or worse for roleplaying than many others I was just pointing out the type of setting usually associated with it. The same with DH but the setting is quite good for encouraging the sort of thing the OP was looking for. While I say that it doesn't limit either game or either setting to be played in that way and it is up to players and the GM how it all plays out.
I think what probably was a bad idea was to mix my own personal experiances and observation in with those views as it gave sort of the wrong impression.
Kaihlik