What things have your group just horribly failed at even with the best intentions. Our group always seems to aim in the right direction but at the last second veer off and do the totally wrong thing.

SPOILERS

To give you an idea of how bad we are, we killed Smeed and Smoot (to be fair our GM misread it a bit and so their conditions for surrender where not quite as easy as they should have been). Then we managed to track down the windmill and failed to catch the Slaugth and so failed that mission.

/SPOILERS

We had a Dauntless destroyed after heresy was unrooted aboard, I say unrooted we only found out when we were sealed in a room with the long dead captain and left to sufficate, luckily one of our group had a las-saw. After our escape we faffed about ineffectualy until escaping and letting the Navy admiral, who we had contacted before, know that the second in command was a traitor and left it in thier hands. The Dauntless then opened fire and was promtly obliterated buy the cruiser squadren parked uo along side it.

After that we left to save our Inquisitor who had been captured. This did not go according to plan either. By grabbing our Inquisitors Interrogator (who we dubbed Billy because we obviously couldn't pronounce his name) we were able to commandeer a couple of cobras and 2 squads of guard vets to help us save the Inquisitor. We arrived at this farm building after following a huge arrow burnt into some crops that we saw from orbit, stormed the building with our guardsmen and recovered the Inquisitors rosette before tripping a security measure/booby trap that sent a message to some bloddy EARTHSHAKER emplacements and got shelled. Luckly we survived the shelling (the house didn't) and set off in search of those earthshakers which we found when the started shooting at us at short range. Well it ws only one really and a lucky hit from a frag missle killed all of the crew. We then found the enterance to a secret underground facility that we then learnt was this strange prison for increadibly powerful psykers, we knew that our Inquisitor was a pyromancer so we went to the door that was glowing white hot (all of the guards had gone insane for some reason soon to be made apparent). We shot the door with a plasma gun in order to help it along as one of our other guys started wandering about, and found our Inquisitor in an other cell. He was let out and really surprised the rest of us when he walked through the door as the door we had shot began to give way. We made began to retreat very quickly at that point.

There is more that I have left out that we did wrong but how about you guys, any really silly stories.

Back before our GM really knew how powerful certain things were and we were still working on balance issues, he starts us on a rather long series of stories vs a powerful Chaos Heretic. Everything is going smooth until the end when we have the Heretic cornered and he calls up a chaos beast to defend him.

We would have won, except for a number of bad calls, like having our Guardsman at the time charge the beast with his favorite chainsword. We beat the beast not because of any good play, but because our one psycher at the time critically jacked up one of his psychic rolls, and obliterated just about everything and anything around him in a 10 foot radius, including the beast and most of the players. Two of us managed to survive that mission.

Just to make matters worse the Heretic gets away, and the last two of us go chasing him. We call in our Inquisitor, who calls initially in an ally Inquisitor, and then our Inquisitor shows up with reinforcements (aka the new replacement characters). We track the Heretic to a lost planet, and commence the invasion. During the invasion the GM has it set up so that the ally Inquisitor dies, and somehow we get the blame for her death. Instead my character manages to save that inquisitor, but manages to get critically hit by a lasgun and looses an arm in the process and being taken out of combat. Our Inquisitor is the one who gets killed, all the new characters die a (I have never seen so many bad rolls in my life... ever), and the heretic almost gets away, except the one last remaining character we have that's up and running is an assassin and manages some really lucky rolls and crits on a headshot.

So in the end we have one player with an active character, mine is alive but is in critical condition, and our Inquisitor is dead.

But wait, this is really the screw up.

The next two gaming sessions is spent rolling new characters, and RPing me getting a new arm and the assassin and I being accepted by the ally Inquisitor into her retinue as her alcolytes (I did save her life after all), and she sends us on the third session on a rather easy mission to hunt down a heretical cult on a planet. No worries, we get there, set up shop, begin to investigate. During the investigation my character asks some rather innocent questions of a rather attractive woman, nothing to raise any alarm, we start talking, and we inevitablly sleep together that night.

I find out later that she was the heretic. Try explaining that one to your brand new Inquisitor boss. "Yes Ma'am, but when I was sleeping with her I didn't KNOW she was a heretic." At least my character was executed with a smile on his face.

These are fun to read. Please keep posting.

Thanks,

Gattila

I went Daemonhost inside the only facility on the planet Coseflame that had high enough tech to stop me. I destroyed said facility.

I am personally responsible for an entire world falling to chaos.

the group I was GMing for arrived at an address they believed to be an evil heretical lair(which is was) to find a workshop run by a grumpy old man. Since there weren't any immediate evils coming out of the walls, they chatted with the owner for all of 10 seconds and were about to go "oh well then, sorry to bother you", and leave. I had to drop a subtle hint that maybe all was not as it seemed. Morons.

Xathess Wolfe said:

That is hilarious although I am surprised that we havn't managed that one yet considering one of our players. Now no matter how bad it goes I can always say "well at least we didn't sleep with the heretics."

I have to say that I have actually cut quite alot out of my original post a) because I didn't want to show you how completely useless we are and b) because it would have taken forever to type.

Well, there was our Near Death Experience....

The FNG (frakkin new guy) stepped into a tripwire in a downhive Logician stronghold. 4 grenades came tumbling out of a tube on the ceiling.

Certain that we were all going to die, we breathed a collective sigh of relief (and ran like hell) when the psyker Weapon Jinxed at a penalty to affect said grenades. Bought us all a round of life, which was all we needed.

Not the group's, but the GM's screwup. Mine, in other words: I'd been nagging them gently about being true to the setting, and then when an NPC (the captain of the CES St. Ollanius' Wake ) was asked by one of the players about his reaction to a bunch of Inquisitorial Stormtroopers searching the ship, I responded that "They scared the jeebus out of the crew".

I was immediately called on this by the players, and had to extemporise a covering story. There is now, in our campaign, a minor imperial saint- St. Jeebus, Patron Saint of Dairy Workers and Small Cheeses. He has become the unofficial patron of the party as well...