Rogue Events Supplemental Guide

By Kainrath, in Star Wars: Edge of the Empire RPG

Posted at

Presenting Rogue Events , a supplemental guide
A companion to the Edge of the Empire Alphabet
Adapted from the amazing Triumph and Despair blog by Steven C. Ross

1-re-cover.png

*updated 10/4/20 to v1.2
*updated 10/5/20 to v1.3
*updated 10/8/20 to v1.4

Edited by Kainrath
Posted at

Gonna read it and get back to you, but first thing I notice is your post's formatting. Makes it hard to read.

Posted at

Okay, part 1:
I caught a bunch of typos and grammatical errors, and I have a few writing suggestions and suggestions for adjusting the encounters. I hope you don't feel like I'm picking you apart, I really like this supplement, I'm just mentioning the stuff I notice to try and help you improve it.
Note: I am well aware that you are limited by page size and formatting. However, I completely ignore that when making my suggestions since I can't experiment and don't know how you might change things. Thus, I simply give you my best advice.

Page 5: "Wepons upgraded" should be "weapons upgraded."

Page 8: I think the reward is a little low. I think it should be at least as high as the best result for helping the ship, probably more so. I would also suggest increasing the number of pirate crew to two minion groups of four (eight total). Maybe say it's an away team of four and then four in reserve.

Page 10: "It seems they need to take possession of the space station intact and a bad of traitorous rebels within it alive and in custody." Aside from the typo, I'd suggest rephrasing it to "It seems they need to take the space station intact, and take the band of traitorous rebels within it into custody." If you are taking them into custody, it follows that they are alive. So saying "alive and in custody" both redundant and bad grammar, as you are not taking them "in custody" you are taking them "into custody" since they aren't already.

Page 11: "Z-95 Headhunters with their laser cannons blasting away at the other vessel." This is passive voice. It'd sound better if you said: "Z-95 Headhunters blasting away at the other vessel with their laser cannons."
In the speech box, "juvenile sounding" should be hyphenated. And they would probably be more likely to say "we're" than "we are" but that's just a stylistic quibble.
"The shuttle is piloted by a teenaged Bothan* boy out on a joyride and has no tangible reward to offer, but will aid th PCs by upgrading any Streetwise checks made in the system, if he survives." The underlined segment refers back to the shuttle, so you need to say "joyride, and he has no tangible reward." Then the typo is bolded.
*Technically, species names shouldn't be capitalized (I break this rule a lot with Star Wars. Not entirely sure why, but it might have to do with using "proper nouns" for statblock names and starting species options). You don't capitalize species names throughout the rest of the supplement, so I'd suggest changing this to lowercase.

Page 12: "rodain" where it should be "rodian."
It should probably be "the rodian captain is extremely grateful" rather than "gracious." Seeing as you said "courteous" later on, I can understand where you were going with it, but it still sticks out a bit, especially since you then go on to talk about what she offers them in exchange. I'd suggest stating that she is "gracious" and that if you help her, she is "extremely grateful." That way you hit both.
"200$" where it should be "200[credit symbol]." And shouldn't the credit symbol come before the number? I know the dollar sign does, but I didn't know if credits followed a different rule.
"Curtious" where it should be "Courteous."

Page 13: I'd suggest adding that with Triumph or 3 Advantage a PC gets to roll on the chart twice, picking which result they prefer. The lightsaber should probably be listed as (R).
I'd also suggest considering removing "Natural Negotiator" from his statblock since he's already got a really high Negotiation and giving him that ability makes it nigh-on impossible for the PCs to get lucky. If that's your intention, fine, but I rankle against that.

Page 14: "We request your aid" seems a bit too formal. Just a stylistic quibble, but I'd go with something like "We find ourselves in need of your assistance" or "We're in need of your help" as options that fit the character's style.
"Physically lifet" should be "physically lift."
"...PCs with an appropriate difficulty skill check" to "PCs, providing a skill check of appropriate difficulty" or "PCs, providing an appropriately difficult skill check."
"Communications abruptly shut off (etc)" is in passive voice. Try "She abruptly shuts off communications and turns the massive ships towards yours, forcing you to prepare for the fight of your life."
You suggested Morality before in connection to the pirate, I'd suggest doing that more often and consistently. Here, for example.

Page 16: Rather than telling them what is about to happen and spoiling the suspense, I would have the guy roll (with Boosts) against their highest Discipline and highest Willpower. If he succeeds, they are convinced that the Empire has ordered them to heave-to. Ideally, it is seen as a Coercion check (you could even tell them that, as it isn't exactly a lie. It's just Deceptive Coercion). PCs can, of course, perform various actions that would affect that check. The results of the check would be pretty much the same, but adjusted for the NPC as the acting character and then flavored appropriately.
The die symbols for Average difficulty are black instead of purple.

Page 17: "Missiong" should be "missing."
I would reduce the escaped prisoners' WT to 5. 6 is pretty high for a minion.

Posted at
4 hours ago, P-47 Thunderbolt said:

Gonna read it and get back to you, but first thing I notice is your post's formatting. Makes it hard to read.

not sure how i managed to make the background of the post dark, but it's fixed now

Posted at
1 hour ago, P-47 Thunderbolt said:

Okay, part 1:
I caught a bunch of typos and grammatical errors, and I have a few writing suggestions and suggestions for adjusting the encounters. I hope you don't feel like I'm picking you apart, I really like this supplement, I'm just mentioning the stuff I notice to try and help you improve it.
Note: I am well aware that you are limited by page size and formatting. However, I completely ignore that when making my suggestions since I can't experiment and don't know how you might change things. Thus, I simply give you my best advice.

Page 5: "Wepons upgraded" should be "weapons upgraded."

Page 8: I think the reward is a little low. I think it should be at least as high as the best result for helping the ship, probably more so. I would also suggest increasing the number of pirate crew to two minion groups of four (eight total). Maybe say it's an away team of four and then four in reserve.

Page 10: "It seems they need to take possession of the space station intact and a bad of traitorous rebels within it alive and in custody." Aside from the typo, I'd suggest rephrasing it to "It seems they need to take the space station intact, and take the band of traitorous rebels within it into custody." If you are taking them into custody, it follows that they are alive. So saying "alive and in custody" both redundant and bad grammar, as you are not taking them "in custody" you are taking them "into custody" since they aren't already.

Page 11: "Z-95 Headhunters with their laser cannons blasting away at the other vessel." This is passive voice. It'd sound better if you said: "Z-95 Headhunters blasting away at the other vessel with their laser cannons."
In the speech box, "juvenile sounding" should be hyphenated. And they would probably be more likely to say "we're" than "we are" but that's just a stylistic quibble.
"The shuttle is piloted by a teenaged Bothan* boy out on a joyride and has no tangible reward to offer, but will aid th PCs by upgrading any Streetwise checks made in the system, if he survives." The underlined segment refers back to the shuttle, so you need to say "joyride, and he has no tangible reward." Then the typo is bolded.
*Technically, species names shouldn't be capitalized (I break this rule a lot with Star Wars. Not entirely sure why, but it might have to do with using "proper nouns" for statblock names and starting species options). You don't capitalize species names throughout the rest of the supplement, so I'd suggest changing this to lowercase.

Page 12: "rodain" where it should be "rodian."
It should probably be "the rodian captain is extremely grateful" rather than "gracious." Seeing as you said "courteous" later on, I can understand where you were going with it, but it still sticks out a bit, especially since you then go on to talk about what she offers them in exchange. I'd suggest stating that she is "gracious" and that if you help her, she is "extremely grateful." That way you hit both.
"200$" where it should be "200[credit symbol]." And shouldn't the credit symbol come before the number? I know the dollar sign does, but I didn't know if credits followed a different rule.
"Curtious" where it should be "Courteous."

Page 13: I'd suggest adding that with Triumph or 3 Advantage a PC gets to roll on the chart twice, picking which result they prefer. The lightsaber should probably be listed as (R).
I'd also suggest considering removing "Natural Negotiator" from his statblock since he's already got a really high Negotiation and giving him that ability makes it nigh-on impossible for the PCs to get lucky. If that's your intention, fine, but I rankle against that.

Page 14: "We request your aid" seems a bit too formal. Just a stylistic quibble, but I'd go with something like "We find ourselves in need of your assistance" or "We're in need of your help" as options that fit the character's style.
"Physically lifet" should be "physically lift."
"...PCs with an appropriate difficulty skill check" to "PCs, providing a skill check of appropriate difficulty" or "PCs, providing an appropriately difficult skill check."
"Communications abruptly shut off (etc)" is in passive voice. Try "She abruptly shuts off communications and turns the massive ships towards yours, forcing you to prepare for the fight of your life."
You suggested Morality before in connection to the pirate, I'd suggest doing that more often and consistently. Here, for example.

Page 16: Rather than telling them what is about to happen and spoiling the suspense, I would have the guy roll (with Boosts) against their highest Discipline and highest Willpower. If he succeeds, they are convinced that the Empire has ordered them to heave-to. Ideally, it is seen as a Coercion check (you could even tell them that, as it isn't exactly a lie. It's just Deceptive Coercion). PCs can, of course, perform various actions that would affect that check. The results of the check would be pretty much the same, but adjusted for the NPC as the acting character and then flavored appropriately.
The die symbols for Average difficulty are black instead of purple.

Page 17: "Missiong" should be "missing."
I would reduce the escaped prisoners' WT to 5. 6 is pretty high for a minion.

Man, this is so massively helpful. Thanks so much for providing your input!
It will be updated shortly with the fixes.

Posted at

Okay, part 2:

Page 18: The Nebulon-B "Escort Frigate" is a military vessel. I can't think of an alternative off the top of my head, but I'd suggest picking a different ship. A ship of that size is technically (I believe) illegal for civilians under the Empire. I can't remember a source for that, but I'm pretty certain that's accurate. At any rate, the Neb-B is an Imperial ship.


Given that it's over a holo-receiver, would they be able to tell that he's "wearing cream-colored robes"? I'm willing to give it the benefit of the doubt here.
"Everyon'es" should be "everyone's."
"Pysiology" should be "physiology"
It says "the male is... a species... ... you do not immediately recognize" in the part addressing the GM. I think this should be changed to say "the party" or "the PCs." Maybe change that paragraph to something like: "The ship quickly messages the PCs, and the holo-receiver flickers to life, revealing an alien of an unusual species. The alien, clad in cream robes and seemingly a male, has a humanoid body with six humanoid legs, two pairs of arms, and skin composed of some sort of golden, rocky substance. His hard exterior shell is marked by cracks and streaks of gray."
This drops the knowledge-dependent information and I think does a better job of giving the players their character knowledge. Then after the Knowledge check, explain that the cracks and gray are signs of age, and the skin is composed of a silicon substance. Also, if they've got six legs and four arms, can they really be called "humanoid" at this point? They sound insectoid. I think it'd be simplest to just say "insectoid" and be done with it. Also adds a bit to the creep factor.
"Infrom" should be "inform"
There are several grammatical and/or writing errors in this paragraph, so I'd change "this species and culture is known (etc.)" to "this species and culture is marked by their easy tempers and by the high value their society places in science, but they are much more hardy than other humanoid species and so are more inclined to be reckless in regards to personal safety and risk of bodily harm."
"The Doctor": "Doctor" should not be capitalized since it is not used as a proper noun ("Doctor, do you mind?") or accompanied by a proper noun ("Doctor Kevamu"). The error is made three times on the page.
Should "experimentation" be "experiment"? This just comes down to which you meant.
I'd change "Doctor Kevamu explains that the procedure will be analyzing the volunteer's spinal cellular structure with a cutting-edge, breakthrough technology uitilzing new advancements in the field of nanomechanics. The procedure will only take a few hours and is painless." to something like "Doctor Kevamu assures the volunteers that the painless procedure will only take a few hours. He goes on to explain that the procedure uses a cutting-edge, breakthrough technology, stemming from new advancements in the field of nanomechanics, to analyze the volunteers' spinal cell structures."
"To each PC who volunteer's" should be "to each PC who volunteers."
"Half dozen" should be hyphenated.
"Briht lights" should be "bright lights."
Change "each PC" to "each volunteer" or "each PC that volunteered."
"Fetl" should be "felt," but that sentence is passive voice. I'd suggest changing it to: "along the patient's back, causing them to feel a tingling sensation as if their entire back had fallen asleep."
"In inherently flawed" should be "is inherently flawed."
"Add 10 from" should be "add 10 to." Based on how the game phrases these things, I would suggest changing the section on crits/success/failure to:
"Each PC subjected to this procedure rolls an Average Resilience check, and then suffers a Critical Injury, modified by the results of the check."
"For each net success, reduce the result of the Critical Injury by 10. If this would reduce the result to 0, do not suffer the Critical Injury."
"For each net Failure, add +10 to the result."
"For each net Advantage, the results are particularly helpful and the scientists are able to offer a greater reward. Gain an additional 100[credits]."
"For each net Threat, the results are woefully inadequate, and the scientists are unable to offer as great a reward as they would like. The base reward is reduced by 100[credits]."
"For each Triumph, roll an additional result for the Critical Injury. The player chooses which will apply to their character."
"For each Despair, the character suffers an additional Critical Injury, reduced or increased by the net Success or Failure on the check."
I changed the consequence for Despair, as it and the Triumph can't really coexist. I also adjusted the Triumph to be the player's choice, more in line with how RAW handles it with talents like Durable and Survivor's Instincts.

Page 19: Change "Firespray System Patrol Craft with added concussion missile launchers, piloted by a rodian slaver." to "Firespray System Patrol Craft (modified with added concussion missile launchers) piloted by a rodian slaver.
"Extreme Range to each other" should be "Extreme Range from each other."
Change "coming at them..." to "coming towards them..."
"Pursues the PC's starship attacking..." should be "pursues the PCs' starship, attacking..."
"3 additional rodians and 1 human locked in the prisoner cells" sounds like the three rodians are her crew. I'd suggest changing it to "three Sullustans and a human, all locked in the ship's holding cells."
The stats for the Firespray are nothing like the stats in the CRB, with a lower Armor, HTT, SST, and Defense. And I'd suggest stating a number of Hull Trauma that doesn't incapacitate the ship, so that it's a surrender cutting short the fight. I haven't been fact-checking the statblocks, but I'd suggest that if you're going to use a ship that has existing stats, you use the RAW stats (with attachments).
"Delivers on her word transmitting 3..." should be "delivers on her word, transmitting three..."
Change "The prisoners were the crew of a merchant transport vessel headed to the Core Worlds who happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time." to "The prisoners were the crew of a merchant vessel on its way to the Core Worlds, but they happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time and were ambushed by the slaver."
Change "If they are treated well, fed and transported to a Core World, the merchants prove to be valuable allies; transferring 1,000[credits] to the PCs and upgrading all future Negotiaion and Streetwise checks made at the star system they were delivered to." to "If they are fed, treated well, and transported to a world in the Core, the merchants prove to be valuable allies. They transfer 1,000[credits] to the PCs and * upgrade all future Negotiation and Streetwise checks made in the star system."
I think upgrading all future checks is a bit much. Dropping a guy off in Toledo doesn't give you contacts in Mozambique. I'd suggest giving the PCs a source for a particular category of gear, reducing the difficulty of Negotiation checks to find an item of a rarity by 1. If you like that, maybe change to: * "providing a source for a particular category of gear, reducing the rarity of all legal items in this category by 2, as long as the PCs are dealing with them."

Page 20: 6. "Explosive ordinance" should be "explosive ordnance."
I'd change 7 to: "Narcotics are dealt in the back alleys of the yellow moon."
10. "A species who trade..." in that case, species is singular so it should be "A species who trades... ...lives..."
13. "get a hold" should be "get ahold."
"singular opportunity make" should be "singular opportunity to make."
"Occupoed" should be "occupied."
"Emeral" should be "emerald."

Posted at
1 hour ago, P-47 Thunderbolt said:

Okay, part 2:

Page 18: The Nebulon-B "Escort Frigate" is a military vessel. I can't think of an alternative off the top of my head, but I'd suggest picking a different ship. A ship of that size is technically (I believe) illegal for civilians under the Empire. I can't remember a source for that, but I'm pretty certain that's accurate. At any rate, the Neb-B is an Imperial ship.


Given that it's over a holo-receiver, would they be able to tell that he's "wearing cream-colored robes"? I'm willing to give it the benefit of the doubt here.
"Everyon'es" should be "everyone's."
"Pysiology" should be "physiology"
It says "the male is... a species... ... you do not immediately recognize" in the part addressing the GM. I think this should be changed to say "the party" or "the PCs." Maybe change that paragraph to something like: "The ship quickly messages the PCs, and the holo-receiver flickers to life, revealing an alien of an unusual species. The alien, clad in cream robes and seemingly a male, has a humanoid body with six humanoid legs, two pairs of arms, and skin composed of some sort of golden, rocky substance. His hard exterior shell is marked by cracks and streaks of gray."
This drops the knowledge-dependent information and I think does a better job of giving the players their character knowledge. Then after the Knowledge check, explain that the cracks and gray are signs of age, and the skin is composed of a silicon substance. Also, if they've got six legs and four arms, can they really be called "humanoid" at this point? They sound insectoid. I think it'd be simplest to just say "insectoid" and be done with it. Also adds a bit to the creep factor.
"Infrom" should be "inform"
There are several grammatical and/or writing errors in this paragraph, so I'd change "this species and culture is known (etc.)" to "this species and culture is marked by their easy tempers and by the high value their society places in science, but they are much more hardy than other humanoid species and so are more inclined to be reckless in regards to personal safety and risk of bodily harm."
"The Doctor": "Doctor" should not be capitalized since it is not used as a proper noun ("Doctor, do you mind?") or accompanied by a proper noun ("Doctor Kevamu"). The error is made three times on the page.
Should "experimentation" be "experiment"? This just comes down to which you meant.
I'd change "Doctor Kevamu explains that the procedure will be analyzing the volunteer's spinal cellular structure with a cutting-edge, breakthrough technology uitilzing new advancements in the field of nanomechanics. The procedure will only take a few hours and is painless." to something like "Doctor Kevamu assures the volunteers that the painless procedure will only take a few hours. He goes on to explain that the procedure uses a cutting-edge, breakthrough technology, stemming from new advancements in the field of nanomechanics, to analyze the volunteers' spinal cell structures."
"To each PC who volunteer's" should be "to each PC who volunteers."
"Half dozen" should be hyphenated.
"Briht lights" should be "bright lights."
Change "each PC" to "each volunteer" or "each PC that volunteered."
"Fetl" should be "felt," but that sentence is passive voice. I'd suggest changing it to: "along the patient's back, causing them to feel a tingling sensation as if their entire back had fallen asleep."
"In inherently flawed" should be "is inherently flawed."
"Add 10 from" should be "add 10 to." Based on how the game phrases these things, I would suggest changing the section on crits/success/failure to:
"Each PC subjected to this procedure rolls an Average Resilience check, and then suffers a Critical Injury, modified by the results of the check."
"For each net success, reduce the result of the Critical Injury by 10. If this would reduce the result to 0, do not suffer the Critical Injury."
"For each net Failure, add +10 to the result."
"For each net Advantage, the results are particularly helpful and the scientists are able to offer a greater reward. Gain an additional 100[credits]."
"For each net Threat, the results are woefully inadequate, and the scientists are unable to offer as great a reward as they would like. The base reward is reduced by 100[credits]."
"For each Triumph, roll an additional result for the Critical Injury. The player chooses which will apply to their character."
"For each Despair, the character suffers an additional Critical Injury, reduced or increased by the net Success or Failure on the check."
I changed the consequence for Despair, as it and the Triumph can't really coexist. I also adjusted the Triumph to be the player's choice, more in line with how RAW handles it with talents like Durable and Survivor's Instincts.

Page 19: Change "Firespray System Patrol Craft with added concussion missile launchers, piloted by a rodian slaver." to "Firespray System Patrol Craft (modified with added concussion missile launchers) piloted by a rodian slaver.
"Extreme Range to each other" should be "Extreme Range from each other."
Change "coming at them..." to "coming towards them..."
"Pursues the PC's starship attacking..." should be "pursues the PCs' starship, attacking..."
"3 additional rodians and 1 human locked in the prisoner cells" sounds like the three rodians are her crew. I'd suggest changing it to "three Sullustans and a human, all locked in the ship's holding cells."
The stats for the Firespray are nothing like the stats in the CRB, with a lower Armor, HTT, SST, and Defense. And I'd suggest stating a number of Hull Trauma that doesn't incapacitate the ship, so that it's a surrender cutting short the fight. I haven't been fact-checking the statblocks, but I'd suggest that if you're going to use a ship that has existing stats, you use the RAW stats (with attachments).
"Delivers on her word transmitting 3..." should be "delivers on her word, transmitting three..."
Change "The prisoners were the crew of a merchant transport vessel headed to the Core Worlds who happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time." to "The prisoners were the crew of a merchant vessel on its way to the Core Worlds, but they happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time and were ambushed by the slaver."
Change "If they are treated well, fed and transported to a Core World, the merchants prove to be valuable allies; transferring 1,000[credits] to the PCs and upgrading all future Negotiaion and Streetwise checks made at the star system they were delivered to." to "If they are fed, treated well, and transported to a world in the Core, the merchants prove to be valuable allies. They transfer 1,000[credits] to the PCs and * upgrade all future Negotiation and Streetwise checks made in the star system."
I think upgrading all future checks is a bit much. Dropping a guy off in Toledo doesn't give you contacts in Mozambique. I'd suggest giving the PCs a source for a particular category of gear, reducing the difficulty of Negotiation checks to find an item of a rarity by 1. If you like that, maybe change to: * "providing a source for a particular category of gear, reducing the rarity of all legal items in this category by 2, as long as the PCs are dealing with them."

Page 20: 6. "Explosive ordinance" should be "explosive ordnance."
I'd change 7 to: "Narcotics are dealt in the back alleys of the yellow moon."
10. "A species who trade..." in that case, species is singular so it should be "A species who trades... ...lives..."
13. "get a hold" should be "get ahold."
"singular opportunity make" should be "singular opportunity to make."
"Occupoed" should be "occupied."
"Emeral" should be "emerald."

I'm on it. I'll have it updated shortly!

Posted at

That's is very useful for a lazy GM like me! The only thing I must point out is that the text does not have enough contrast to the background and makes it a difficult to read. Maybe the text loses a bit when exporting.

Posted at

Hey, @Kainrath , this looks really cool, man :D

But I wonder if there's something up with the file? It took forever to download and open, and it "hangs" when I scroll through it. That could be my computer, though, although I haven't had that problem before on this 'puter.

Also, I second the text contrast thingy... the letters look spindly and tiring to read. I hope there's an easy fix to that! (But I'm tech-stupid myself so all I can do is sit here and complain... ;) ).

Other than that, this is definitelly something I'm going to print out and stick in the fan-made resource book I'm having bound! :D Thanks, dude/gall/person!

Posted at
1 hour ago, angelman2 said:

Hey, @Kainrath , this looks really cool, man :D

But I wonder if there's something up with the file? It took forever to download and open, and it "hangs" when I scroll through it. That could be my computer, though, although I haven't had that problem before on this 'puter.

Also, I second the text contrast thingy... the letters look spindly and tiring to read. I hope there's an easy fix to that! (But I'm tech-stupid myself so all I can do is sit here and complain... ;) ).

Other than that, this is definitelly something I'm going to print out and stick in the fan-made resource book I'm having bound! :D Thanks, dude/gall/person!

Many thanks!
It is a large file for sure. I don't have any problems with it hanging on my end. I could try making one that has a smaller file size, though that might make it even HARDER to read.
I'm not sure about the text contrast thing. If anyone has any suggestions, i'd be happy to try and fix it.

Posted at
2 minutes ago, Kainrath said:

Many thanks!
It is a large file for sure. I don't have any problems with it hanging on my end. I could try making one that has a smaller file size, though that might make it even HARDER to read.
I'm not sure about the text contrast thing. If anyone has any suggestions, i'd be happy to try and fix it.

I don't actually have any problems with the text. It looks fine to me.

Posted at

Alright, final installment. Hopefully this has been helpful.
Part 3:

Page 21: "Jam packed" should be "jampacked" or "jam-packed." I'd hyphenate it, but it seems that either is acceptable.


I'd change "Blasted hulks, wrecked starfighters, and twisted metal fill the area; as well as a communications beacon. The device transmits a warning to all who come near..." to "Blasted hulks, wrecked starfighters, and twisted metal fill the area, and a communications beacon [possibly fluff location, e.g. "in the center of the debris field"] transmits a warning to all who come near. It cautions that this is a restricted area, guarded by Imperial patrols, and any who violate the perimeter are in breach of Imperial law."
The main reason for this is that the communications beacon doesn't "fill the area" and is simply also present.
You list the sorts of checks at the beginning of the next paragraph, and then give the details at the end, listing the options again. I would drop the specifics at the beginning and just say "makes a single check on the entire group's behalf."
Advantage, Threat: Encounter shouldn't be capitalized. I think the range band/speed thing could be phrased more clearly, but I can't think how to do it.
Despair: I think it should also suffer a number of HT with an associated Breach rating. Just a crit isn't all that much for being right next to an explosion that "rips through their ship."
It's just "Imperial Navy" not "Galactic Imperial Navy" unless you want to say "the Galactic Empire's navy."
I don't think it should be 5 Astrogation checks. The PCs are extremely unlikely to be able to escape that quickly, and that'll probably take at least 6 rounds. With only a very small amount of bad luck or a low HT, they'll be taken out very quickly. I'd say specify a distance they need to move before they can jump, and require a single Astrogation check, modified as per RAW. Then one round later (meaning on the same initiative slot on the next round), the ship can jump.
With 1 Threat, or with a good initiative result, the blastboats will be able to hit the PCs' ship on the first round. The PCs will almost certainly not be able to survive 6 rounds. If consecutive means they can't fail at any of them and have to get all 5 in a row, the PCs' only chance for survival is to fight off the patrol. If your intention is that multiple PCs are making the calculations, I'd contend that you'd end up with a too many cooks spoil the soup situation, and that the PC making the check would need access to the astrogation computer.

Page 22: I'd change the "uncaring hand of fate" thing to "what surprises are in store. The GM rolls a [Force die] to determine the encounter, adjudicating it based on the descriptions below."
Light pip: I'd suggest making it that they recover a single missile with 1 success, and then another missile for each additional 2 net success. It should also say "they" recover rather than "you" recover since the supplement is addressed to the GM.
Double-light: Should probably be "reprogram" rather than "program."

Page 23: Inconsistent capitalization of "Gand."
If the PCs are able to "identify the ship as a defunct Mandalorian design," should it require a Knowledge (Warfare) or (Lore) check to identify it/its historical origins?
"2,000$" should be "2,000[credits]."
First paragraph, second column: "Locations" shouldn't be capitalized.
"+1,000$" should be "+1,000[credits]."

Page 25: You need drop the "both" before "encrypted and guarded" because as is, it is technically saying that the built-in security measures are encrypting and guarding them. If that reads as intended, I'd contend that the information would be encrypted regardless of the built-in security measures.
"Probes built-in security measures" should be "probe's built-in security measures."
You don't cover an option to turn the droid into Imperial authorities.

Page 26: Huh. There already is an "Inconceivable" check (at 6 Purple). I'd just change that to Formidable.
Many people don't have the stats of the "Staccato Lightning" cannon, so I'd suggest either changing it to a standard LRB or printing the stats.
"Littel" should be "little."

Page 27: Mon Calamari should be capitalized on "mon calamari research facility." And it should be "vessel" not "facility," right?
"Comoplement" should be "Complement."
Mon Calamari should be capitalized on "mon calamari researchers."
Rather than "aid" the PCs, I'd say "respond appropriately to the PCs, preferably positively" or something along those lines. If the PCs are the murderhobo-y-ist bounty-hunting crew this side of Nal Hutta, he's less likely to help them than if they're a crew of travelling doctors on a series of humanitarian missions.

Posted at
1 hour ago, P-47 Thunderbolt said:

Page 27: Mon Calamari should be capitalized on "mon calamari research facility.

Even if other species' names haven't been capitalized? Because the name is associated with "research facility"?

1 hour ago, P-47 Thunderbolt said:

I'd say specify a distance they need to move before they can jump,

Like three range bands? Is that too many? Too few?

Posted at
17 minutes ago, Kainrath said:

Even if other species' names haven't been capitalized? Because the name is associated with "research facility"?

I understood it as a demonym for Mon Calamari, as in a research facility run by citizens or the government of Mon Calamari (or "Dac").

Posted at
22 minutes ago, Kainrath said:

Like three range bands? Is that too many? Too few?

I'd probably say they have to get to Medium range.

Posted at
1 hour ago, Kainrath said:

Even if other species' names haven't been capitalized? Because the name is associated with "research facility"?

Like three range bands? Is that too many? Too few?

Yes. It’s a proper name. Always capitalize a proper name.

Posted at
11 hours ago, Kainrath said:

Even if other species' names haven't been capitalized? Because the name is associated with "research facility"?

I figured out why I capitalize species names: Star Wars (and by extension, the RPG) capitalize species names.

They don't capitalize "human" though, so my best guess is that they capitalize species names that are linked to their worlds. So Bothan, Rodian, Cerean, human.

Posted at
44 minutes ago, P-47 Thunderbolt said:

I figured out why I capitalize species names: Star Wars (and by extension, the RPG) capitalize species names.

They don't capitalize "human" though, so my best guess is that they capitalize species names that are linked to their worlds. So Bothan, Rodian, Cerean, human.

Yeah, it’s always bugged me that everything except human was capitalized, so I just decided not to capitalize any species names, grammer be damned. But it does make sense to capitalize place names or proper names that are also species names. It might have been simpler to start capitalizing “Human” rather than NOT capitalizing every other species.

Posted at
6 minutes ago, Kainrath said:

Yeah, it’s always bugged me that everything except human was capitalized, so I just decided not to capitalize any species names, grammer be damned. But it does make sense to capitalize place names or proper names that are also species names. It might have been simpler to start capitalizing “Human” rather than NOT capitalizing every other species.

I think so. I capitalize the names of all sentient species in Star Wars.

Posted at

updated to v1.4

Posted at

I noticed that your page numbers are off, all at +1 compared to the PDF page. I've been numbering my suggestions based on the PDF page.

Page 11: It still says "shuttle is piloted by a teenaged bothan boy out on a joyride, and has no tangible reward to offer," as it is, it sounds like it's referring to the shuttle not having a reward. I'd suggest changing it to: "joyride, and he has no tangible reward to offer,"

Page 13: You tried to replace the black difficulty die symbols with purple, but it didn't line up properly.

I don't have time now, but I'll go through the rest of the new version when I get a chance.

Posted at
30 minutes ago, P-47 Thunderbolt said:

I noticed that your page numbers are off, all at +1 compared to the PDF page. I've been numbering my suggestions based on the PDF page.

Yeah, there's a page in the front missing...I'm intending to put a Star Wars Crawl page in, but haven't written the text for it yet. Not sure exactly what to write....

Posted at

Page 18: " les us run a few tests" should be "let us (etc.)"
I also note that you capitalize "Jiupan" as a species name. Just mentioning this for when you decide whether to capitalize all or nothing.
You didn't change the "tingling sensation can be felt" part.

Page 19: Hmm... I overlooked a grammatical error on my part. It sounds like the owner is in the holding cells along with the prisoners. Maybe try: "to reveal, aside from its owner, 3 sullustans and a human, all locked in the ship's holding cells."
Those are still not the RAW stats for the Firespray (aside from the modifications).

Page 20: 6 should be "explosive ordnance " not "ordinance"

Page 21: Yeah, thinking about this more, I'd make it say "Medium range from the wreck." and stipulate that the debris field extends out to the edge of Short range (so basically, they have to get out of the debris field before they can jump). Since they'll have to make a Piloting check to move through the difficult terrain, there is a motive to keep speed low (rather than using Punch It), and it'll take them a while to get out of the debris field. Meanwhile, the blastboats don't have to actually enter the debris field and can jockey for position, then fire missiles from Short range once the PCs get into range.
Didn't take my advice on the Despair. Just mentioning in case that was an oversight rather than a conscious decision.

Page 22: "Star shystem" should be "star system."
"They receive a missile for each success generated" is conflicting with "and another missile for each additional net 2 success." It should probably be "on a successful check, they receive a missile, and another missile for each additional net 2 success."

Page 23: Didn't take my suggestion on the Mandalorian design, but I'm guessing you just disagreed on that rather than having missed it.

And that's pretty much it.

Posted at
46 minutes ago, P-47 Thunderbolt said:

Page 23: Didn't take my suggestion on the Mandalorian design, but I'm guessing you just disagreed on that rather than having missed it.

Would the ship's scanner not show the make/model of the craft being scanned?

Posted at
34 minutes ago, Kainrath said:

Would the ship's scanner not show the make/model of the craft being scanned?

Huh. Fair point. That isn't something I'd actually considered.