Wait, does burning that cupcake set off my Bardium?

By Lord Dust, in Star Wars: Force and Destiny RPG

If you have a line that you said or herd in a session and find funny, please post it here. Give as much or little context as you like.

NPC Slave Trader to undercover PCs: "What a gorgeous specimen! I will offer you 2 million credits for [PC 1]."

PC 2: "WHERE THE F--- DO I SIGN?!"

Also:

PC 3: "Okay, now, say it again: what do we never do?"

PC 4: sighs "Seek Darth Vader, yes, i know!"

Edited by Absol197

You win. That beats mine.

While dueling Darth Mual Me: "Don't worry, I got this. I'm on fire."

PC 2-4: "wut?"

Look a space kangaroo, those things are tasty.

PC1: "I thought you said this is the fastest ship in the sector!?"
PC2: "It is, but I never said I was a good pilot!"

Setup: Early New Republic Era, characters are investigating a world where an Imperial Remnant official is setting up an old Separatist droid factory to bolster the Empire's depleted ranks with battle droids and tanks and stuff. They start in a city on a kind of plateau, there's a broad valley between them and the factory. Due to typical PC shenanigans, the Imp is well aware they're there and has started rolling out his production run to defend his fort.

Player 1: I charge.

Me (GM): You what?

Player 2: (looks at Player 1 dumbfoundedly.)

Player 1: (very triumphantly) I HAVE ABSORB/DISSIPATE ENERGY!!!! (Note: What would be Protect in this system, the ability to reduce or eliminate damage from energy-based attacks.)

Me: Not against twenty tanks, you don't.

Me as GM: "So Darth Vader and his battle fleet caught up to you, what do you do?"

Droid Bounty Hunter PC 1: Pulls out a robe of Palpatine's (Stolen from a laundry shipment.)"I am going to bluff him."

Me: "Who?"

PC: "Vader."

We calculate the check and all agree.

PC rolls.

Who wins, seven of the most vindictive Despair die to ever roll or one green boi?

PC imitating Palatine: "Vader, you need to bring back the Super Star Destroyer, it's not ready."

Me as Vader: "My master?"

PC still imitating Palatine: "There is toast in the reactor."

Me: "What?"

PC: "Yeah, Some toast fell in the reactor, now bring back the SSD."

Me: Looks at green boi, "Yes, my lord."

On 9/13/2020 at 11:38 PM, Lord Dust said:

Me as GM: "So Darth Vader and his battle fleet caught up to you, what do you do?"

Droid Bounty Hunter PC 1: Pulls out a robe of Palpatine's (Stolen from a laundry shipment.)"I am going to bluff him."

Me: "Who?"

PC: "Vader."

We calculate the check and all agree.

PC rolls.

Who wins, seven of the most vindictive Despair die to ever roll or one green boi?

PC imitating Palatine: "Vader, you need to bring back the Super Star Destroyer, it's not ready."

Me as Vader: "My master?"

PC still imitating Palatine: "There is toast in the reactor."

Me: "What?"

PC: "Yeah, Some toast fell in the reactor, now bring back the SSD."

Me: Looks at green boi, "Yes, my lord."

LOL

Pc Soldier: Umm why is he flying the ship?

Pc Doctor: He's our pilot.

Pc Soldier: You do know he's Blind, he has no eyes.

Pc Jedi: The Force shall guide us to our destination...

Pc Soldier: Can we have someone fly the ship that can actually see?

GM: "You enter a room with a smooth wooden desk and a beautiful lamp-"

PC 1: "Is this the Train Job episode from Firefly?"

GM: "DAMMIT!!"

A minor rant I had as GM the other day when my PCs wanted to be "cool" instead of complete the objective:

'Look, your pilot is holding a grenade made from two overcharged blaster packs which is rapidly starting to heat up and glow , there are two sentry turrets on the cliff face above you, and your friend just succeeded at a deception check to lure the enemy kill squad into the open field with no cover. NOW you're telling me you want to try to have that skinny guy lob said explosive that deals 20 DAMAGE, BLAST 15, AND HAS BREACH 1 OVER THEIR HEADS IN SUCH A WAY THAT HE WON'T HURT YOUR ALLY AND STILL KILL THE ENTIRE GROUP INSTEAD OF JUST TAKING 2 MOVEMENT MANEUVERS TO GET TO SAFETY?

BECAUSE I HAVE 3 DARK SIDE DESTINY POINTS AT MY DISPOSAL, AND IF YOU'RE NOT AFRAID TO LOSE SOME FRIENDS TONIGHT, BE MY GUEST!'

Edited by StriderZessei

Time for the story that led to the thread's title.

we just started a game as a group of rebel droids, we were on a nebulon-b and we were infected with IG-88's robotic revolution virus. The Chief Engineer was working on the a powerline in the connector hall way, and he just put a cupcake in my chasse to keep for later, I am a R2 sabotage droid that was are demo expert. Flames and HE, loaded to the photo-receptors. Game start.

GM: What do you do?

Me: First thing I am going to do is git that cupcake out of me and burn it.

GM: Got a flame weapon?

Me: Yeah a hand flame projector.

At this point a misconception happened.
I thought I put the cupcake down and burned it.
Th GM thought I fired the flame Projector in my chasse.

I roll my dice and hit.

GM: You fire your flame projector and (totals damage) deal 3 damage to your self.

Me: What?

GM: The cupcake and flame projector are in your chest, right?

It is funny so I roll with it. Only minor damage and I can repaired. No big deal.

Me: Yeah, sure.

Coin drops is

3...

2...

1...

Me: Wait, does burning that cupcake set off my bardium?

Stunned Silence.

GM: how much do you have?

A quick count totals an amount around 8 units.

More stunned silence.

GM: Boom.

Bardium is an explosive that deals vehicle damage.

So I am dead, no question. But...

I was standing in the connector hallway in a nebulon-b.

I had enough HE on me that our GM said I broke the ship in half.

And this was about 20 seconds in to our session.

The rest of the session was the rest of the players escaping a burning ship to a near by planet.

After that session the robot revolution continued.