I tried to give one of my friends who wanted to run an adventure something we played in one our old sessions. my word editer wasn't the nicest to work with outside art.

I want to make it better and im hoping for feedback before I send it to them.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1upg1TtM95LL4G0pqVhoA6bAd5Vf2hSZK/view?usp=sharing

I haven't read it, but I skimmed.

From a formatting point of view, maybe move the NPC stats into the sections that they're from, this puts them at the GMs fingertips while running it. And if possible try and get their stats into a more easy to read layout. Doesn't have to be identical to pronted stuff, but at least similar enough to prevent it slowing down their use.

Hope that helps.

I also took a skim through it, and also have some formatting thoughts. Using some colored backgrounds to break up the Narrative from the non-Narrative could be helpful. Especially for those places where there a number of responses that an NPC could give to questions a box would let the reader much more easily see all the provided options.

As I said, while I didn't read through it all, there were several Daunting and above skill checks. While those could all be just fine I wondered what level of competency PCs would be going through this and if those checks are leveled appropriately. I believe YYG will succeed against PPPP right about 50% of the time.

49 minutes ago, RickInVA said:

I believe YYG will succeed against PPPP right about 50% of the time.

Generally you need one more positive dice than negative to succeed 50% of the time, because you need one net success. Upgrades increase the odds of success only fractionally, their main purpose is to move the needle on the narrative axis (and provide Triumphs). So YYG vs PPPP is pretty low odds, plus it doesn't give room for adding setbacks.