Funny Age of Rebellion Stories

By P-47 Thunderbolt, in Star Wars: Age of Rebellion RPG

Once upon a session...

I'm running a campaign with one of my friends and he is playing three characters: A Mandolorian (custom class) hunter (his favorite), a Human saboteur, and a Kyuzo Sharpshooter/Commando dual Heavy Blaster pistol wielding, vibroaxe swinging, shield-hat throwing, man of justice.

The Kyuzo (Grath) and the Mando (Ferrus) are scouting out an Imperial landing pad that just accepted a supply shuttle. Then they decide to full on assault it. Ferrus misses the first sentry, Grath kills the second, but the first one raises the alarm before being taken out by Ferrus. They then run up to the door and Ferrus opens the door and rounds the corner... smack dab into engaged range of a Stormtrooper sergeant. Yay! (for me). Oh, and there are 5 Stormtroopers backing him up with 3 more (and another sergeant) on the way. Time to roll initiative! Ferrus = 4 advantage, Grath 1 success, stormtroopers 1 success ea. + ? advantage. Stormtrooper sergeant? 1 Triumph, 3 success, 2 advantage. No biggie. So with the triumph I give him a free attack: he hits Ferrus with the butt of his heavy blaster rifle dealing a little bit of strain damage. He then gets the first slot in the initiative order and blasts some tibanna into Ferrus's gut from engaged range... ouch... but Ferrus is still standing! Until the first group of stormtroopers gives him another dose of healthy tibanna (it's good for the skin! I think?) so he's down. Grath then proceeds to go on a horror movie-esque rampage with a Vibroaxe (not the pole-axe variety, more of a viking style axe) and after several rounds, 1 or 2 destiny points, and a little bit of roll fudging on my part (to his benefit), he cleared the landing pad leaving blood stains and shattered plastoid all over the place. He has all of 1 Health left and 2 crits. He stimpacks Ferrus (twice) to wake him up and then they retreat.

Later, all three are roped into rescuing prisoners from an ITT that is transporting them from town to the Imperial outpost. They go up to the top of a ridge overlooking the road (approx. 10 yards, 45 degrees) and when the ITT comes by, they run down the ridge and jump on the side of the ITT. Grath sleds down the slope on his shield-hat and jumps gracefully onto the ITT landing as smoothly as a cat, Jerran (the saboteur) runs down the slope and grabs onto the side, hanging on and pulling himself up to a more favorable position, Ferrus runs down the slope, jumps to the ITT... and bounces off the back of the transport, getting knocked out and left behind in the road. He had a very good day.

What are some of your funny AoR stories?

Instead of going back to confront a backstabbing Hutt crime lord face to face by fighting through his palace...they packed a freighter full of explosives and auto-piloted it into the palace while they watched from the escape pod. This has become a theme now. Speeder bikes, freighters, etc. They've blown up a fortune in vehicles but are constantly complaining about how poor they are.

They set up their own little rebel cell. They recruited a few ne'er-do-wells from a nearby village. They weren't recruited to be rebels, just to occupy the base, keep things running, kill any varmints, etc. In exchange they'd have shelter, food, and pay. They were reluctant, but agreed as it was an upgrade to their lifestyle. First time the party returns to the base, they are sitting in the mess playing cards. The party flips out and threatens to kill them for being lazy (they'd been doing their job, but the party assumed they'd be on duty 24/7 or something). After threatening to kill them, and being reminded that wasn't their job, the party then apologized and sought counseling for rage issues.

They were delivering goods as part of a job. They had no skin in the game so to speak, they were just middlemen. When they show up, one of the party members asks the crime boss they were selling stuff to if anything odd has happened recently. Like, had they been attacked or anything. The crime boss took it as a threat, and almost attacked them. The party talked them down and explained that when they show up, stuff just happens, fights break out, people attack, he was just trying to warn them. Before the conversation could wrap up, mandalorians with jetpacks descended from the sky to attack the gangster.

They attacked an occupied a small Imperial Base. The Imperial in charge of that sector was mounting a small military force to covertly reacquire the base (didn't want the Empire to know about his weakness and his failure in holding the base). Before he attacked, he sent a small scout team to investigate. The players captured one of the scouts, dressed up as Imperials, convinced the spy that they were Imperial intelligence, and that they had occupied the base for their purposes, then escorted the prisoner to the spaceport to head back to his commanding officer. They had people in stormtrooper armor, imperial officer uniforms, they painted droids to appear to be Imperial...they really sold the whole thing. They not only convinced the guy to tell this story, but they also convinced him to act as a spy for Imperial Intelligence by sending them info on their boss.

So after their disastrous attack upon the Imperial spaceport, Ferrus, Grath, and the prisoner they rescued from the transport (and an Elom they nicknamed "Mole") go to hide out in the plains a few miles outside of town. To that end they built a small lean-to out of who-knows-what and set up a firepit. They then promptly decided that they needed tents: 1. because the three of them can't fit in the lean-to, 2. because Grath and Ferrus can't both fit in the Lean-to, and 3. because Mole is too large for the lean-to. So tents. Who do they tap for the job? Jerran, (who has a brawn of 2) the only one who wasn't incriminated in the previous attacks. So he hikes into town (putting him to 12/13 strain) and buys the tents (3 regular size, and one that's a bit larger), he tries to negotiate to lower the price, but fails and takes 2 strain, thereby passing out, Kantor, the Besalisk store owner, wakes him up by kicking him, restoring Jerran to 12/13 strain. Jerran then tries to pick up the tents... takes 2 strain and passes out. Kantor promptly picks him up, takes him out of the store, and drops hims him on the sidewalk to nap.

Meanwhile, back at camp, Ferrus goes hunting! He bags a nice Gurnaset and tries to cook it... Unsuccessfully (He hunted to sell the meat, he didn't cook all that often) He burnt one side of it, but undercooked the other side. Grath tries it, and does okay but has a little bit of stomach pain, Ferrus barely manages to choke it down, and Mole? Well, he has Brawn 5 and resilience 2, and REALLY likes it! He doesn't seem to understand that Ferrus didn't mean to cook it that way and is thrilled that the meat is both extra rare and extra well done, he eats all but what they are leaving for Jerran when he eventually gets back.

Jerran wakes up, recovering 5 strain, and hikes back to the camp carrying the tents, he puts down the tents, eats his share... and passes out from the bad cooking. He's had a great day.

Later, as they attack the Imperial airbase, (containing a garrison of 4 TIE/ln fighters) they are up against a full squad of Imperial Stormtroopers and an ITT crew, as they engage, the ITT crew runs into the ITT, but Mole is hot on their tail: he jumps into the ITT and smashes the crew's heads together, knocking them out. In the ensuing fire fight (that round), Ferrus and Jerran get incapacitated, the next round, Mole tries to shoot at the stormtrooper sergeant with the turret, but he misses, so next round, he just runs him straight over, then backs up and runs over the 3 who ran around behind him to attack Grath. They then use it to wreck the building and the TIE fighters.

Party Captain: "So, how'd the interviews go? We're a good group of people, huh?"

Commander: "Good? Good!? Your droid is entirely mercenary and would sell out all of us in an instant if the price was right, the wookiee is hyper-aggressive and a danger to those around him, the twi'lek despises authority and would never follow orders simply because they're orders, and the verpine was notability withholding vital information from the psych-reviewer the entire time! And you are a former Imperial pilot who is married to the subject of our espionage investigation!"

Party Captain: "So... we got the job?"

Commander: ... "Yes."

Edited by Absol197

They plugged a hole in their ship with bodys of their would be boarders and I was too tired to apply science.

At the spaceport trying to smuggle high-power blasters to a Rebel cell and the customs authority goes to do a sweep of the party ship. Verpine realises the crate full of blasters is just sitting out in the open and they need a distraction so the wookiee grabs a thermal detonator and throws it into the next landing bay hoping the explosion will buy the others enough time to move or hide the blasters, but rolls a critical fail and the grenade lands next to some barrels. Behind my screen I roll for what is in said barrels, rolling a 1 on the d20. Congratulations , it's tibanna gas. The entire next landing bay goes up in a blast and now not only is the party ship impounded for smuggling but the party is wanted for terrorism. Joy.

Yes it sounds like EotE but it's also an AoR campaign.

The Captain inexplicably started shopping for a "Hidden Compartment" for their VCX-100 (and notably did NOT consult with the crew's Pilot/Engineer/former SMUGGLER ) and through a series of social check failures, gets arrested by the local constabulary.

The rest of the crew posts bail, hires a local lawyer, and gets the Captain freed and along the way the Pilot/Engineer/Smuggler learns of the Captains desires and using existing cargo (bulkhead plating) goes ahead and installs a smugglers compartment and does a phenomenal job.

Later as the dust is settling the Pilot & Captain finally get a chance to talk and the Pilot opens up the conversation with an inoculous phrase like, "So I understand that you wanted a smugglers compartment," at which point the the Captain shuts down the conversation.

So the crew now has a smugglers compartment that no one (but the Pilot) is aware of . . .

My players wanted to try and throw an assassin sent by the empire off their trail. So they used one of the assassins they had captured earlier and had the Medic PC drug her and use plastic surgery to make her look like one of the other players. For context, this was a Zeltron being altered to look like a Duros male. They then sent the altered assassin, still drugged, off into the wild and they were eventually killed by the local giant irradiated beetles as this took place on the surface of Duro. Funny thing is the assassin wasn't even trailing them at the time so they did it for nothing.

On 7/27/2019 at 1:22 AM, BipolarJuice said:

so  the wookiee grabs a thermal detonator and thro   ws it into the next landing bay hoping the explosio  n will buy the others enough time to move or hide t  he blasters, but rolls a critical fail 

You were a nice GM that day.

Thermal detonators on despair blow up in the hands of the user. It's a special rule for that specific explosive.

9 hours ago, GroggyGolem said:

You were a nice GM that day.

Thermal detonators on despair blow up in the hands of the user. It's a  special rule for that specific ex  plosive.

Heh, goes to show I should actually read the descriptions. I am never nice on purpose.

Okay, so I have a slightly superstitious thing I do before each session: I take my D4, 6, 8, 12, and 20 and line them up on a shelf near the table with either all of them showing the highest number, or all of them showing the lowest number. The session of the OP, I had them all set to their lowest numbers (and look how that turned out).

This time I set them to their lowest numbers and here's what happened:

2 Stormtrooper Sergeants roll a Triumph on initiative checks, opponents roll 2 Triumph (twice), Jerran rolls a Despair on a Knowledge Warfare check and so thinks that TIEs are heavily armored (necessitating the use of excess explosives), and Grath rolls a Despair while trying to throw a Thermal Detonator (he already had 6 crits). Fortunately for him, these were improvised detonators without Vicious.

Funny RPing:

So they have gone to convince Nym to help them drive the Imperial off of Lok, and he has agreed, but with one condition: They take down the base's shield generator, destroy the base's TIE garrison, and destroy any defense turrets that the base might have. However, he will give them equipment to assist them:

GM: You walk into a spacious room, or at least it would be spacious, but it is filled with stuff.
Player:
What sort of "stuff?"
GM: Stuff.
Player:
Just stuff?
GM: Yes, of all shapes, sizes, and varieties. Nym brings you over to a rack of Clone Wars era gear, but Ferrus, you hear a strange resonance that seems to be pulling you towards a locked door across from the rack. If you don't want to follow, make a Hard Discipline check.
Player: Oh, I'm going over there.
GM: As you get close to the door, the resonance gets louder, but it has a fairly advanced lock and you do not think you are capable of breaking into it (especially if you don't want to be noticed).
Player:
I lean up next to the door and put my ear up to it to see if I can hear anything else.
GM: Okay, as you lean up to it, the door suddenly SNAPS OPEN and you fall over backward knocking into a stack of "stuff" which crashes to the ground as you yourself clatter to the ground in your Mandalorian armor. Nym whirls around and booms: What do you think you're doing! How did you open that?
Player: I don't know! I was just standing here and it opened in my face!
GM: As you now look more closely at what was behind the door
(make a Hard Knowledge Lore check please) you see a 10-inch long cylinder of some kind in a glass case.
Player:
Meta-gaming, but that's a lightsaber, isn't it?
GM: Yes.
Player: Is Ferrus force-sensitive!?
GM: Yes. Nym storms over to you and slams the button to shut the door, it shuts and then promptly opens again. He presses the button again, with the same result, he picks up a scrap of metal from the floor and this time, when the door shuts, he jams it into the mechanism and the door tries to open for a minute, but then gives up and closes all the way. Nym gives the door a solid kick and turns around and starts to walk away.
Player:
I pick myself up off the ground and follow.
GM: As you start to turn, you realize that your shoulder plate is missing, and as you turn around to look for it, you notice that the piece of metal Nym used to jam the door looks suspiciously like the aforementioned shoulder plate.
Player:
Oh.
GM: As you pick it up, you see that the edge where it was shoved into the door is scarred and slightly misshapen.
Player:
Now I'm picturing someone asking "Wow where did you get that (armor) scar? It looks like it must have really taken a hit for you." Oh, actually it was used as a door stopper.

GM: Nym leads you (the whole party) around the corner and you see a collection of various ordnance: Clone Wars mortars, boxes of grenades, det packs, and a box of micro grenades with a lump of metal that looks suspiciously like it used to be a launcher for said grenades.
Player:
Jerran (the saboteur) faints.
GM: Nym shoots you with his arm cannon (set to sting [not stun]) and wakes you up.
Player: Owww... What was that for?

P.S. The very first attack against the PCs rolled 2 Triumph and destroyed their only medkit.