Simpel, write youre groupes funny inside jokes but add no context

"Youre honor, he need killing"

" Squib!"

"What if we get a nerf and inject it with some kind of mildly radioactive material..."

"Another crate of soap from the moons of Iego."

"What the heck is a "boat"?"

"He's building up an immunity to blaster fire!"

Also, the cafmaker that's hooked up directly into the reactor.

"It's just paint! We have the paperwork to prove it!"

Also, wookiee hair clogging the drain in the refresher.

Best I can do is a Jawa that calls you "Oongawa."

I'll take it!

Wanna go back to the ship to HoloNet and chill?

Randomly and anonymously shipping various acoutrements, garbage, and anything we couldn't carry to our Hutt employer... collect.

What should we do with the bodies of these stormtroopers? "Ship them to the Hutt "

"Stripper plan!"

1 hour ago, DarkHorse said:

"Stripper plan!"

Wait, my ex-wife plays in your group?

Any time anything even remotely valuable shows up in the game:

[*Magpie noises intensify*]

• We're looking for a breeding pair.
• WE DON'T KILL HUTTS!
• AYAYAYAYAYAYA!!! BEEF JERKY TIME

And from player codes (Knights of the Dinner Table)

• Chunky Salsa
• Buttermilk 5

“Are there any frag grenades between the couch cushions?”

Starlaria, Starcoli, Spaids, Sperpes, Spugs, Spaintjobs, Spoogle, the list goes on and on.

"We're not bringing that on the ship! What if it hatches?!"

1 hour ago, StriderZessei said:

"We're not bringing that on the ship! What if it hatches?!"

Party: let's convert the engine room into an incubator!

Me, ship's captain and only one who really knows anything about SW: AM I A KRIFFING JOKE TO YOU

Too many to count but here are some that have stuck around the longest.

"Do you have any freshly hunted veal"

"I mount the polar bear...from the rear"

Rank 1 in Dog Throwing Skill

"May I remind you all we are in the middle of a space battle?"

Plus

"Wait, isn't he still bleeding out at the bottom of the stairs?"

"*Gurgle noises* a little help?"

"I would like to teach it Adobe Illustrator."

---

"Wait, he's a Toydarian! They hate pretzels!"

---

"Okay, so we need a volunteer to be prisoner."

BONUS:

"You find nothing of value."

"What about-"

"NOTHING. OF. VALUE."

"Its not a warcrime if we dont report it."

"No ERP!"

GM: "You find the words, The Reginald scrawled across your H-wing in purple paint."

"Darshaq goes to the bathroom.... again."

"I start speaking Elvish" "This isnt star trek"

One of my players is a former GM, so he has a good sense for when stuff is about to go down. He likes to meta this a bit.

*Players take mcguffin to crime lord mcguffin buyer*

"So uh, odd question, but like, has anyone attacked you recently? Has anyone died? Have your enemies launched a full scale war against you today?"

-No, why would you ask? Did you tell someone about this meeting? Are you working with my enemy?-

"No, it's just whenever we walk into a room, it seems to trigger some sort of event that typically ends with lots of people dying."

-Are you threatening me?-

"No, no, just saying that if it hasn't happened yet, you may want to tell your people to take cover. I don't have a horse in this race, so I don't really care, but you may want to..."

*battalion of mandalorians come jet-packing in from the rooftops*

"Told you so!"

One I forgot earlier:

(PC in a cell) "I'm sure he's fine."

(Other PC's voice echoing down the hall) "AAH! SHE'S TORTURING ME!"

"He's probably had worse?"

"I'VE NEVER BEEN IN MORE PAIN!"

"At least he'll have a good story to tell his kids?"

"OH GODS MY BALLS!"

Players had been working for a Hutt crime lord. The Hutt ended up double crossing them and luring them into a trap. The players barely surprised and decided to seek vengeance. I had an entire Hutt palace mapped out. Various guards, characters, events, interactive points. The revenge scenario was going to be at least 1 if not 2 sessions just due to the amount of stuff they players could have done.

As the players were flying back towards the Hutt Palace trying to devise a plan to get past the defenses, the pilot got an idea. They had a couple crates of stolen weapons, which they set to overload and explode and timed it to immediately follow their next part of the plan. They decided for extra security they'd pool together all the explosives they had (grenades and what not) and tie them into a remote detonator. They went into high orbit, aimed the ship at the palace, and ejected from the ship. I initially hated the idea, but I honestly couldn't argue with the logic. I devised a series of rolls to make to counter it. Mechanics check for the blasters (success with triumph and advantages), piloting check (success with triumph and an advantage), Mechanics check for the remote detonator explosives (success with advantages), attacks from base defenses to shoot down the ship (complete failures with threats). There were some other checks too that I forget, but basically the players rolled perfect or near perfect on every stupid thing I could come up with and the enemy was as unlucky as possible.

With the players all smashed together looking through the 1 view-port of the escape pod, the ship smashed into the palace directly into the throne room. The remote explosives worked like a charm and the overloaded blasters were spread around the wreckage and set off all sorts of secondary explosions.

Now, every single adventure has one of the player suggesting to just steal a ship and flying it into the flavor-of-the-day problem, to which the rest of the party responds in unison with a "Naaaa".

Although they did once turn a speeder bike into a sort of ballistic missile once.

Oh right.

"It's not piracy! It's preemptive salvage!"

-Gag 1

PC #1: "Don't forget the 'safe word'."

PC #2: ".... Who uses safe words?"

- Gag 2

PC #1: "....Nickelback"

Table: (uncontrollable laughter)

And a fan favorite, no matter the game: "CUT OFF THEIR NIPPLE!"

On 4/29/2019 at 3:28 PM, penpenpen said:

Oh right.

"It's not piracy! It's preemptive salvage!"

That's definitely getting stol‐ borrowed next game.