On 5/1/2019 at 9:11 AM, Yaccarus said:

I’m now imagining the prequels being played as an RPG game, and every single prequel meme (Hello there, the Senate, the tragedy of Darth Plagueis the wise, the high ground, I hate sand, dew it, etc.) would be an inside joke, I guess.

http://www.darthsanddroids.net/episodes/0001.html

Looks like someone else thought so too, hilarious!

Pilot: "Who names their ship the Fluffly Duck?!?!"

Captain (in a desperate fight): I'm throwing my Thermal Detonator at the Imperial Troop Transport!

GM: But you're fighting in a residential apartment district!

Captain: "Fire in the hole!"

Engineer (& Demo Specialist): "OKay, now that this ship is secured, I'll head down to Engineering and rig the powerplant to explode."

Captain: "No Wait! We need the ship for the next part of the plan!"

Engineer: "Actually all we need is the transponder."

Captain: "Er . . . FINE. You can blow this one up."

Pilot: "Hey, Capt'n. I found this cool Sabacc game going on tonight. Can I . . ."

Captain: "NO!"

Captain: "Fire up the engines. We need to leave NOW!"

Pilot: "Now? Are you serious?"

Captain: "YES!"

Pilot: "But you told me yesterday that I could PMCS the engines . . ."

Captain: "Uh! How soon can we . . . ?"

Pilot: "The parts arrive tomorrow . . ."

Pilot: "ISD Vindictive this is . . . " <sigh> "the Fluffy Duck. Please come in."

Captain: "Where did you get all of that money?"

Pilot: "Uh. Legally?"

Captain: "You were playing Sabacc again. Weren't you! Were you cheating?"

Pilot: "Of course not!"

Captain: "Translation, no one caught you this time . . ."

Engineer: Okay, I'll rig it to blow with my Thermal Detonator.

GM: "Wait, your character STILL has a Thermal Detonator?!?!?!?!"

8 hours ago, Mark Caliber said:

Engineer (& Demo Specialist): "OKay, now that this ship is secured, I'll head down to Engineering and rig the powerplant to explode."

Captain: "No Wait! We need the ship for the next part of the plan!"

Engineer: "Actually all we need is the transponder."

Captain: "Er . . . FINE. You can blow this one up." 

I've got to know the context for this one. Only amateur roleplayers don't know that you never blow up anything you can steal.

On 6/7/2019 at 10:26 PM, immortalfrieza said:

I've got to know the context for this one. Only amateur roleplayers don't know that you never blow up anything you can steal.

Do they? But, ironically you are nailing one key point on the head. The player playing the Fragormaniac (I may not have the correct Latin term so feel free to elucidate) is indeed a new player.

However, on top of playing a fragormaniac, she had a valid argument and (more importantly a) convincing argument.

The team was on a mission and decided to steal a very large ship (Action IV) so that they could get ahold of a very large quantity of hyperspace fuel, enough to fuel the entire Rebel fleet.*

Time was an issue and the team decided that the best course of action would be to steal said Action IV from the Corporate Sector Authority (CSA). It was close and what kind of moron would try to steal that much coaxium from the CSA? Impossible. Right? I mean they might have pulled this off at Kessel, but some jerk had already hit them a couple of years earlier and security on Kessel was bound to be worse. (Right? But I digress).

So the plan was to head to one of the outlying CSA worlds, snag a ship and then quickly hyper over to Bonadan with the stolen ship so that they could sneak onto the Action IV.

As the crew kept going over the math and with all of the ships that were going to be stolen in the near future, one of the problems that they kept running into was that they only had two pilots (because I forgot about the Hoz being a former TIE Fighter pilot and a loaner from Fighter Ops, but because The Hoz was there are a gunner he wasn't involved in most of the planning the PC's didn't realize that the could have possibly held onto this extra ship. HAD the Hoz been in the planning they might have realized that they had enough pilots to man all three ships . . . However they were still going to be VERY light on total crew anyways).

As it was there just weren't enough pilots for the whole heist so when the Fragormaniac announced that she was going to blow up the ship, there wasn't much to object to. Besides the Hoz loves watching an empty ship blow up just as much as the next guy. Furthermore, the crew WAS able to get the first CSA ship off world without too much trouble and to cover their tracks, the team atomized the ship.

Because the . . . <sigh> Fluffy Duck has a Ghost transponder all they really needed were the transponder codes so that they wouldn't stand out too much when approaching Bonadan.

* Don't do the math. I don't care if the fuel needed to move a loaded Action IV ISN'T enough to get 2-3 dozen warships out of a contested region, far enough to secure enough Coaxium for a subsequent jump to Hoth. IMSWU it happened and the players are happy with their success. It was a rough tough mission but the PC's pulled it off.

"The butt holes are good, right?" (Player describing the success symbol)

I remembered this one over the weekend and comes from a D&D campaign that I'm participating in:

The GM has asked for an inventory of weapons being brought to a fight.

Barbarian: So, I've got the Magic Battle Axe, the Silvered Axe, and of course the two throwing Axes . . .

Player 2: Axe, Axe, Axe, Axe?!? Let me guess. Does you're barbarian also wear 'Axe' body spray?!?!?

Barbarian Player, "Absolutely and it's applied during combat . . .

"...... but I like fish".

Wookiee Swan Dive!