I've been wondering how exactly recruiting works since we started playing the game. You draw 2 cards. you can then recruit one of the guys portrayed on the 2 cards. BUT can you then chose to put either card in your hand or does it have to be the one you recruit from?

Also, my gaming logic tells me that you need to show your opponent the recruiting icons in order to verify that you actually got the guy you chose BUT then he sees your action card and potentially knows the ability on it? are we supposed to hide the text with our fingers? that seems super clumsy game design.

It has to be the card you recruited from.

No, you don't show your opponent the card, so he can't be sure which card you got. However when you later play the card for its effect, you will show the card to your opponent. Any cards you don't play will still be in your area at the end of the game, in theory that's when you'd show them to your opponent.

If you were playing with a (non starting) leader that you couldn't show an action card for, then you lose the game regardless of how it unfolded.

In reality, you wouldn't be playing with people who would do that on purpose...