Heh, my DH GM likes to play his games fast and loose, weird things are always happening thanks to him, such as two sessions ago, where my groups Scum was trying to charm a techpriest into taking our group to see the planets ruling Magos. Unfortunately (Or fortunately, depending on how you look at it) not only was his fellowship 75 at this point, but he took another rank of Charm to get +10, so when he rolled his charm, it went a little something like this:

Scum: "Ok, I'm going to use charm on this guy, he'll be more inclined to do what we want if I'm his friend, right?"

GM: "Go ahead, roll for it."

Scum rolls

Scum: "****, 21! That's what... (Counts) 6 degrees of success? What do I get for that?"

GM: "Uhhhhhh..... (Flips through core rulebook) This is unprecedented, the book only goes up to three... but if we follow the books logic for degrees of success... (Thinks for a moment) Ok, so you charm the techpriest. You charm him a little TOO much, and have turned him ULTRA RAGINGLY GAY."

Scum: "What????"

GM (As the now gay tech-priest): " Oh my, Mr. thillybunsth! I'll do anything for you! We thould lithen to my collection of ancient Clay Aiken CDs!"

Scum: "Uh, guys?"

The Rest of Us: "All in favor of ditching Havelock to his fate?"

(Everyone votes aye)

GM: "Roll for Ditching."

(rolls)

GM: Okay, you dash off into the bustling crowd, Havelock, you are now alone in the alley with the super gay techpriest. Roll for dodge or get buttraped by his robodick."

Scum: "Seriously? Come on! This is... you can't do that, 40k isn't like this!"

GM: "Whos' the GM here? You don't want gay techpriest buttrapists in your game, fine, now roll or buttrape."

Assasin (Over everyones laughter) : "I don't remember there being so much buttrape in the novels..."

Psyker: "In the thousand sons novel, there were a couple of lesbians, so y'know, probably there is buttrape happening?"

Scum: "Stop saying buttrape."

GM: "Roll agility to avoid the techpriests groping mechdendrites."

Cleric: "Hey, as a priest, shouldn't I be stopping this? I mean, isn't buttrape supposed be agains the bible or something?"

Assasin: "No, that's the christian bible, and you're a cleric of the God-Emprorer, I'm sure that the threat of Daemons and Xenos are a little more important than buttrape."

Scum: "Stop saying buttrape! This is bullcrap!"

GM: "You took too long, and the techpriest gets his grimy hands on you. You are assraped. Take 3 levels of fatigue and 5 asswounds. Also, you have AIDS and hemorroids now."

Scum: "**** you, I'm not putting it down! Nobody gets raped, okay?"

GM: "Okay, so you consent to the assrape. You take 1 level of fatigue. You still have AIDS and hemorroids though."

And so on and so forth. We spent an hour just cracking up as our GM kept finding ways to get the Scum buttraped by a techpriest. Eventually he spent a fatepoint to reroll his charm test and ended up getting only two degrees of success (He later killed the techpriest by tricking him into eating [drinking?] Corel Paste, which is sort of a running gag in our GMs campaigns as an alcholic beverage so terrible that anytime it is mentioned or displayed in public it incites the NPCs into killing frenzies or causes them to flee in terror)

Unfortunately, now that we're all so used to wacky things happening, nobody else wants to GM, ever.

We were doing the first Haarlock adventure and when we made it to the surface we decided to try and infiltrate the red circuses. Naturally my moritat was nominated/volunteered to join the games - during which the group made an obscene amount of money on betting. However I started to have reservations about it - partaking in these games for the enjoyment of persons on a planet far from the Light of the Emperor. To which our cleric said 'well, these heretics just aren't going to kill themselves' - which ended up becoming my sig.

All very funny especially the gay tech-priest

Most of the above post have been funny, except the gay butt ****** tech priest. What a way to re-enforce negative sterotypes on a public forum, not only gay, but a rapist with AIDS, complete with a camp lisp. How very NOT funny.

Old timer said:

The price we pay for this being an open forum. It is difficult to keep out the repressed munchkins, and the trolls. *sighs* What can one do?

very true after some consideration.

Old timer said:

Well, I instantly thought the same and was wondering about the first reply saying "very funny". I am normally far from being typically 'political correct' (I actually I hate all this political correctness most of the time), but this is simply not funny and on top rather retarded. What kind of retarded game and retarded GM this must be to produce such a crap. Are you guys 14 years old and giggling all the way someone says boobs? Even then this is more than infantile...

Agreed on the tech-priest post.

'Tis a purely puerile purveyor of the Grim-dark who but smiles at the notion, forsooth.

Old timer said:

Oh, don't be a buzzkill. The only way to kill the cruelty of a stereotype is to accept it and laugh it off. Doing the opposite of that is what incites the real haters. If you can't handle being the butt of gay jokes (HA! the "butt" of gay jokes!) then maybe don't be gay. I'm not saying that having gay feelings is a choice, but as human beings we can choose whether or not to engage in ANY sexual activity, not to mention lifestyle choices. By saying that making fun of gayness is bad and wrong, you are saying that gayness IS bad an wrong otherwise why couldn't we joke about it with stereotypes? People do it all the time with heterosexual stereotypes.

Camp lisps, AIDS, and Butt-wounds... those are funny because they EXAGGERATIONS. You are assuming it's not funny because everyone who reads it is too ignorant to know otherwise. People need to seriously stop it with the whole "Political Correctness" bullcrap. It's apropriate to a certain degree, until it get's unneccessary and annoying.

My best friends are both asian and black, and every session they call themselves out on their own stereotypes, such as when my friend Mitch (the black guy) fails a roll he says things like "I get a re-roll because Obama's the President of Black People now!" or "These dice just commited a hate crime against me!" My asian friend often says things like "Why'd you bring a calculator? You sayin' I'm not asian enough?"

And it's not just them either. We all joke around like that. We all exaggerate our own traits and shortcomings to unrealistic levels only an inbred, racist, culturally backwards hillbilly would take at face value.

You see what I'm saying?

EDIT: here's what my friend had to say on the subject:

Not that we're saying you're a liberal, but those that I know usually hold a similiar belief. Either EVERYTHING can be a target or NOTHING can.

Welcome to the tolerance of the PC establishment, we tolerate everyone's opinions except white christians!

It doesn't matter that Muslim Extremists have threatened to murder artists for drawing Muhammed, your doodle is intolerant and bullying.

It doesn't matter how much someone appreciates your work, if you don't think like them, and act like them, and hold their EXACT same beliefs, you ARE NOT to be supported or tolerated. HOW DARE YOU HOLD A DIFFERENT OPINION! DON'T YOU BELIEVE IN DIVERSITY!? FOR SHAME! WHITE PRIVILEGE! FREE MUMIA! WHALES! HALLIBURTON!

Everyone deserves love, respect, and deep human consideration, unless you are a white christian, at which point, if you aren't in lock-step with White Middle-Class Liberalism ethics, you are a member of THE ENEMY and are a sub-human group, and the only one's who beliefs and ideas are to not be tolerated or considered.

Extremists who threaten to kill artists? UNDERSTANDABLE.

Guys who don't believe stereotypes are that big a deal? FASCISTS.

Also everyone, and this is an attempt to try and keep this thread from getting shut down by the mods.

I personally have gay friends who play in some of the games I participate in, along with people of other ethnic back grounds including myself. But I do believe the most important thing that anyone can realize here is that this is indeed a open forum. If you don't want to read something that runs the risk of offending yourself, then please, don't pay it any attention and ignore it all together.

Now some might say that this is the voice of a person who doesn't care, and to be honest. I do care, but also know that not everyone has the same kind of humor that others do, regardless of age. I've met 30+ year olds who laugh when a fart-joke is made, and I've met 13 year olds who honestly have to have the punch-line explained to them for them to get it. So when I say that we as human beings, all have a right to ignore a joke whenever it gets mentioned in their presence. Or if you don't want to do that, then politely ask them to stop with a joke like this, and end the argument right there.

As for anyone who's curious as to my own heritage, I have both Lakota and Cherokee in my family line, and I'm a history major. So believe me when I state that I understand racism and the close-mindedness of people.

Syzygy said:

Well, I think most do not have a serious problem with a gay-joke or two (and neither do I have), but things like **** and AIDS (irrespective of any gay stereotype) are simply not funny and let me tell you they are neither EXAGGERATIONS as you say. The same story with a heterosexual background instead of the homosexual one would have been not funny in the same way.

Furthermore, what made me wonder is not a simple joke, but to seriously keep on about it by the GM (and seriously overdo it by far) in a way that does not seem to fit any Dark Heresy setting but rather some silly persiflage called Dork Heresy.

Anyway, latent racist mostly tend to start their sentences with this apologetic “well, my best friends are black, yellow, red, whatever…”, thereby trying to suggest because of that they cannot be racists after all.

Even then I do not get what all this has to do with Muslims, white Christians, liberalism ethics and Obama, but maybe this is due to your sort of americo-centric way of arguing.

Luthor Harkon said:

No Luthor. This has nothing to do with some strange American way of arguing. Rather, it is an example of the unfortunate fact that my country now has two whole generations of young people who were not raised or educated properly (exceptions noted). They have no manners, no sense of right and wrong, and no personal responsibility. Coupled with the current over-inflated sense of self-entitlement rampant here, they believe that they should be able to do or say whatever they want, whenever they want ... and anyone who takes exception to that must be discriminating against them personally. To compensate, they then vilify said individual(s) with "arguments" that have nothing to do with the original premise. For example, some of our statements that jokes about **** and AIDS are not only "Not Funny", but also distasteful and innapropriate on such an open forum. JMHO.

+++Rant Mode Off+++

sadly this is a pretty common occourance in the UK as well sister cat... we have kids having kids and where the generational gap used to be a buffer against stupid that has been slowly erroded... simply put witty... satirical... clever... observational jokes etc are funny... most other aren't... as a side point it's really disappointing to think that there are people out there who really think that that sort of joke is funny... have we really lost a generation of thinkers to a throw away lifestyle where they consider that it is their right to expect... i bloody hope not...

Sister Cat said:

I haven’t said "strange American way“, but “sort of americo-centric way”. I said it because he argued with terms like “white Christian”, “white middle-class”, “Muslim terrorists”, “liberal” etc. that made crystal clear he is an American wearing blinders; especially in regard to the term “liberal” and using it as a synonym for left-wing political movements. That is not what “liberal” or “liberalism” actually means worldwide (and neither left-wing for that matter).

So, I did not understand what he actually was arguing about in the end and what it has to do with “Muslims” (even if FOX news leads you to believe every Muslim is a terrorist) and “white Christian” / “white middle-class liberalism ethics” (as no European would ever use such weird terms in such a weird context).

[/ranting]

Heh, heh ... no worries, Luthor. I understand completely. Thanks to the current schizoprhenic nature of the American mindset, ANYONE would be confused ... even those of us Americans that have yet to succumb.

My rant was directed at my own (civility-challenged) countrymen, rather than you ... or anyone else who shared your opinion.

What can I say, except ... not all of us are so barbaric. The situation in our country is quite infuriating really. And, quite sad.

Sister Cat said:

Now picture this: somebody comes along and let's loose a racial slur at you for absolutely no reason. What do you do? Throw a fit about it? Or laugh it off? If any gay person ever was offended by what my GM said, I'd have to tell them to cowboy up and stop being such a *****. Instead of getting all torn up over something someone said (in jest, I might add) is a waste of time, when you could instead be getting upset over a REAL tragedy like, say, the gross violations of human rights and child labor laws by the Nestle company in Africa and how no world government seems to want to stop them. If you couldn't find the whole "Gay Techpriest" thing funny, then I'm assuming you don't enjoy things like 90% of all stand-up comedy or television programming like South Park. Are you suggesting I spend my entire life avoiding the subject of AIDS because someone who has it might get offended? Did you ever stop to think of WHY those people with AIDS got AIDS in the first place? Unprotected sex and sharing dirty needles. Don't make them out to be victims, because their own negligence for proper safety when shooting up drugs or boning their secretary is their OWN fault. (Of course, there i s a SMALL percentage of those who contracted HIV from birth via an infected parent, but they are far, far outweighed by the other irresponsible people) Furthermore, after discussing this with the same GM, he says that the joke was that the scum got AIDS from a Techpriest, which as we all know usually don't have genitalia, let alone human blood (Autosanguine?) in which the disease could proliferate.

Everyone needs to get over themselves before we all die of political correctness.

Syzygy said:

Oh, don't be a buzzkill. [...]

Well, I think most do not have a serious problem with a gay-joke or two (and neither do I have), but things like **** and AIDS (irrespective of any gay stereotype) are simply not funny and let me tell you they are neither EXAGGERATIONS as you say. The same story with a heterosexual background instead of the homosexual one would have been not funny in the same way.

Furthermore, what made me wonder is not a simple joke, but to seriously keep on about it by the GM (and seriously overdo it by far) in a way that does not seem to fit any Dark Heresy setting but rather some silly persiflage called Dork Heresy.

Anyway, latent racist mostly tend to start their sentences with this apologetic “well, my best friends are black, yellow, red, whatever…”, thereby trying to suggest because of that they cannot be racists after all.

Even then I do not get what all this has to do with Muslims, white Christians, liberalism ethics and Obama, but maybe this is due to your sort of americo-centric way of arguing.

Oy, the forums seemed to decide it was pertinent to delete my last paragraph explaining why the quote jumped from gayness to muslims. Anyway, the reason for that last bit was from a different debate about the same subject, whereby I was trying to illustrate the point I was attempting to make. The point was, that by making it "taboo" to make fun of any one person, religion, or thing, you set a double-standard. According to you, it's NOT okay for me to call my black friend "black" because that somehow makes me a latent racist and I should be ashamed for acting like such a hillbilly. So does that make my Black friend racist for calling me a white? DOUBLE STANDARDS are bad things that serve to widen the gap between us as human beings. So long as people continue to make distinctions between us with social rules we will never be able to IGNORE them. (That was the point of the whole muslim/white christian quote, double standards)

Also, to clarify, the GM only really went on about the gay techpriest thing for about the length of the dialogue, it was dragged out for nearly 45 minutes by everyone else arguing and further making jokes along the same subject line. But that isn't a special case, we end up dragging EVERYTHING on for way longer than is actually needed (One of the downfalls of a a group of eight people)

ANyone of you here could let fly with calling me a ******* lazy mexican ******, and you know what? I could care less. You most likely mean nothing by it, and even if you do I've got bigger things to worry about.

But, seeing as so many people here got offended and fainted or dropped their monocles in their caviar dishes in shock at the gay butt-**** AIDS thing, I'll respect that and refrain from discussing those sessions here. If it makes you people uncomfortable to confront such a subject or if it's too personal I'll just end this wall of text with saying that life is hard, you can't spend all your time trying to avoid offending someone or being offended. It's inevitable, because we are human beings, being offensive (and therefore being offended) is part and parcel of the whole experience. I suggest we all get over ourselves.

@tundra

I feel your pain, tundra. Seriously, I have sworn a vow to myself to not have children, until such time as this world evolves to the next level. I feel it would be insufferably selfish to do so, since the world as we know it is so ... chaotic, and re-gressive.

Now that we've got that out of the way ... let me get back to the OP's original intent. In the distant past of my gaming experience, I was involved in a Dragonlance (3rd Ed D&D game) campaign. Early in the game, we were infiltrating the Nerakan forces from hiding, and ... coming upon a guard-post of Nerakans in the sewers of our base city, we threw a Tanglefoot Bag at the first Nerakan we came across. He was plastered to the window he was looking out of. After we defeated his companions, we turned to this Nerakan ... plastered to the only available window ... and asked him what he was seeing, as he had mentioned during the recent fight that he was seeing interesting things. He said (muffled by the goo gluing him to the window) ... "I see feet. Many armored running feet."

I know this might not seem funny to most ... I guess you had to be there.

(Remooved for doublepost)

Luthor Harkon said:

Ah HA! So westerners/americans are "Weird" for arguing in such a way are we? I AM SO OFFENDED AT YOUR RACISM I AM BESIDE MYSELF IN GRIEF AND RAGE ARRRRRRGH HOW WILL I EVER BREAK THESE BONDS OF INTOLERANCE.

Nah, I jest, but I think that helps illustrate the point I am(was) trying to make about double standards and the modern worlds skewed views on political correctness. (For the record, please take into account that after the word EDIT: in my original wall of text on this issue I denoted that the whole muslim/christian part was a quote from a friend on a similiar issue, and he is a big time conservative. I am aware that liberalism is not synonymous with Democratic politics in the wider world, and that there are always different degrees of it, just like conservatism (i.e. my friend is hardcore about it, he thinks guns should be given away like candy and Reagan was the best thing ever. Me, on the other hand, lean to a more centralist position) Still, U.S. liberalism is pretty similar to liberalism in europe and asia from the experience with the people who've identified themselves as both. Or at least the U.S. tries mimic the european liberalism.

Now, this is a thread for wacky Dark heresy stories, right? Sorry for derailing it into a debate! But I'll try and keep it on track (although if someone feels the need to continue the Political Correctness debate in another thread, I 'd be glad to oblige, considering that everyones been so polite about it [except maybe me? But I think my point was that people shouldn't have to be, so that's par for the course])

Anywho, this situation was from when I ran my first campaign using the Edge of Darkness setting, the group had stayed the night in the Coscarla hotel and were ambushed on the second floor by the owner and his band of thugs and mutants trying to kill them in their sleep. The players were having a little trouble with the fight seeing as nobody had invested anything in their melee weapon skill (Everyone thought guns would be the most useful in all combat situations, ha!) and the fight wasn't going well, so I decided to introduce the Adeptus Sororitas character of another player who wouldn'tbe able to join the game until later by having her destroy the reaming mutants with a melta bomb. Shortly before the Battle Sister arrived, our groups Assasin and Arbitrator had been pushed back towards the end of the hallway by the tide of mutants (Everyone else was hiding in their room or had failed their awareness checks to wake up) The psyker had managed to slow up most of them by tossing a hallucinogen grenade into the hallway from his own room, but the assasin and arbitrator were still outnumbered and cornered, so the assassin attempts to grapple the nearest mutant and use him as a human shield. This didn't really work because he kept failing his strength checks to control the mutant while grappled him. That's when the battle sister arrived. With a melta bomb. The scenario went a little like this:

Me: "Over the din of battle and the grunting and slobbering of the mutants, you can hear the mysterious woman shout 'GET BAAAAAAACK!' "

Arbitrator: "Uhh, am I far back enough on the map?"

Me: "Yes, everyone should try to get where you are, or at least as far as you're guy is from the woman."

Psyker: "****! Can I make my run move? I mean, I'm behind a door, that counts as cover, right?"

Techpriest: "That only works if you run to another place of cover, so no?"

Me: "You have two turns to get back, so don't worry too much about it. But you might wanna heed her advice."

Arbtrator: "okay, well, can I shout and wake everyone else up?"

Me: "Yeah, everyone make a +30 awareness check."

Everyone rolls, everyone passes.

Me: "okay, so do you all want to just use your turns to run back by Tim's guy?"

Everyone does so, EXCEPT the assassin (Still grappling the SAME mutant).

Me: "Brian, you going to move?"

Assassin: "No, I'm going to try to break this guys neck."

Me: "Uh, you sure?"

Assassin: "Yeah, so do I make a strength test?"

Me: "Are you REALLY sure?"

Techpriest: "You do know that the woman has a melta bomb, right?"

Assassin: "So? I'll be fine. I just wanna break this guys neck before I move."

Arbitrator: "But that'll take a full turn, and then it's the battle ladies turn, and she has a BOMB."

Me: "Yeah, you might wanna move."

Assassin: "No, I'll be fine where I am, just let me try and break this guys neck."

Me: "Brian, as the GM, I am personally ADVISING you to MOVE your stupid ass, last chance."

Assassin: "I just want to break this guys neck, alright? I'll look totally bad ass and I can just dodge the bombs blast."

Psyker: "Is it even physically possible to dodge the blast of a bomb which is basically a wave of disintegration?"

(everyone except the assassin): "NO."

Assassin: "Just let me make a strength check, okay? Just let me break this guys neck!"

Me: "Fine! just roll then, but you can't move after this."

He rolls and fails horribly, even after spending a fate point to re-roll.

Me: "Okay, the womans turn, she tosses the bomb and it explodes with a muted 'phut!' and a flash of bright light, everyone in the radius takes 6d10 damage, no mitigation for armor or toughness. That means you brian. The rest of the mutants all dissapear and half of the Coscarla hotel is either slag or has become a metallic cloud of dust."

Assassin: "WHAT THE FU-"

Everyone else: (Laughter)

This is made doubly hilarious once you take into fact that the assassin guy is both a hardcore WH40k fan and has fielded several different types of armies on the tabletop wargame. He KNEW what a melta bomb was, and was warned by both EVERYONE and me, the GM, at least three times to MOVE away from the horrible bomb of ultimate doom. And then he was surprised, legitimately SURPRISED that it KILLED him and he had to burn his one and only fate point. TO this day he still won't give a clear answer as to WHY he just HAD to break that mutants neck at the cost of his characters life.

Oh ****. It seems I have started an annoyingly persistent cascade of B. S.

My apologies, first. And then, my imploring address to everyone ... please let this go. No one meant anything offensive by any of it. We were just discussiing philosohpical differences.

Sister Cat said:

No, I want to pursue this topic, but in a seperate thread to prevent further derailment of this one. I would seriously like to know why others do not see it the way I do, and why they would write my philosophy off as a "cascade of BS". We might all even learn something. And thats the last of this subject I'll mention in this thread.

@ Everybody, if I at all have seemed to come off as ignorant and one-sided in my speech. I do wish to point out that I do apologize and in no way meant to offend anyone as well.

Yes while this might sound a little hypocritical of me, it's because while I wish that people would learn to not be offended by anything. At the same time I like to make sure no-one is offended.

It seems to me that those who complain about "oversensitivity" are the same people who wish to have their derisive speech legitimized.

@ LordMunchkin I just try to appease everyone.

Serimus Bodikan said:

There's a messed up retort in there somewhere, I just can't bring myself to post it here for the sake of not derailing the thread anymore.

Funny in the Dark Heresy game I'm in? How's about this here?

Tattered Fates - at some point we ran across a heretek produced cyber-mastiff that our TP decided to keep and reprogram its recognition systems. He then begins to affectionately refer to as "Muffin." At a later point, my Adept loses a leg and is sidelined for about half the damned adventure up in the central control hub. To safe guard my character, the TP leaves Muffin with me, along with the detonator for an explosive collar installed on the thing... As the thirteenth hour draws nearer, Muffin begins to become "twitchier." Upon the striking of the final hour, the thing spasms, stands up and turns to look at me. I press the button, splattering chunks of meat and metal across the room... The player of the TP looks at me, shock on his face, and quietly says "You blew Muffy?!?"

-=Brother Praetus=-