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By Darth Meanie, in X-Wing

The Expac A Month Club

New for 2018!! Join the expac-a-month club, and every month (er, more or less, this might bleed into 2019) you receive 2 existing ships that need some love!! These packs will feature new repaints for your collection, and will be based on Star Wars themes (not your precious little meta) so there may even be two factions in one box!!!

January 2018: The Partisan Forces

Beautiful black and white repaints of the U-Wing and the X-Wing.

Finally fly K-2SO and Saw Gerrera in the venerable U-Wing. Adds a new side arc for that little monkey dude!

And at last, a little sumpthin’ sumpthin’ to get the T-65 on the table!!

February 2018: The Battle of Yavin

A white TIE/ln and a Gray Y-Wing!

Long overdue squadron mechanics to help the TIE/ln swarm again! And a title for the TIE/rc so you can scout, Coordinate, and Jam!!

And all the missing Y-wing aces from the movies. Pops. In. Space. Well, actually in a Y-Wing. Only K-2SO can survive in space. Plus an EPT for the generic Y-Wing Veterans!!

March 2018: The Battle of Scarif

A Blue Squadron X-wing and a Blood Stripe for the TIE Striker!

TIE Strikers get a bomb slot modification card! Why? I have no idea, but everyone seems to think they need it!!

And at last, the Heroes of Blue Squadron, plus a Blue Squadron Veteran!!

April 2018: The Battle of Endor

Cunning new designs for the B-Wing and the TIE Interceptor.

Finally, the E2 is a Title, freeing up the Mod Slot for better things!!

And the TIE Interceptor get a new title to help it become a little more like a tempered-glass cannon!

And Scythe Squadron for the TIE/ln, cuz oops, we almost forgot about them again.

May 2018: Can I Borrow This?

The Lambda Shuttle and a TIE Defender with prototype yellow stripes!

The venerable TIE Defender, now with Sabine. Need I say more?

Finally, fly the Shuttle Tydirium undercover with Chewie or Han at the helm and sneak behind enemy lines. General Organa and Master Luke crew breathe life into useless crew cards. A rear arc for the shuttle so even the Imperial version gets some love. And, as an added bonus, Sabine flying a Lambda Shuttle, cuz were pretty sure she’ll shipjack one eventually. . .

June 2018: Lonesome Losers

Repaints of the 2 lousiest ships in the game: the E-wing and the TIE Punisher.

We have no idea what will help these clunkers, but we’ve got 6 months to figure it out.

Hmmmm. . . .maybe Range 4 primaries for the E-Wing. Yeah, just use the Epic Range Ruler. Boy, that’ll irk everyone who got rid of everything but Palps. . .

July 2018: TIEs and TAPs

A repainted TIE/ln in Inferno Squadron livery and the TAP in bluish gray!!

Finally, the missing Inquisitors from Rebels season 2.

Plus, all the Imperial Heroes from Battlefront II.

August 2018: Phoenix Squadron

All the heroes of Rebels in A-Wings and X-Wings!!

(And a second chance to fix the X-Wing just in case the January kit didn’t take. . .)

September 2018: We Were Young and Naïve

The Empire Steals Back!! Wedge, Sabine, Hobbie, Han Solo and more from their Imperial Academy days!! More TIE/lns!! (We heard you preferred them to shuttles!)

October 2018: Asteroids Don’t Concern Us

A stunning repaint of the OT Falcon with ENGINE GLOW . And Porgs! Sure , they weren’t in ESB, but TLJ is supposedly the best movie since ESB, and they are soooooo cuuute! Move over Han’s dice, there’s porgs on the console. Poooorrrgggs In Spaaaaaace!

Rules for Space Slugs.

And TIE Bombers that can actually bomb!! With gravity!! Or not!!! You decide!!!!

November 2018: Credits and Power

At last, a Vaksai modeled to look like one!!

Plus, an red and white repaint of the Fang Fighter for the Mandalorians of Clan Saxon. . .bringing the Fang to the Empire!!

December 2018: The Prequels Are Here

Repaint of the Firespray-31 in Jango Fett’s livery with Jango, Aurra Sing, and more bounty hunter scum.

ARC-170 in Republic livery with clone pilots!!

And a Free Year-end Bonus (with 12 redeemed proofs-of-purchase):

The Bladewing Repaint

Featuring the game’s first super-weapon dealing 10 Attack Dice in one shot!! (C’mon, the game’s already up to 5, no sweat. . .)

Edited by Darth Meanie

Where do I sign up?

Hurry to purchase your subscription now before its too late!

This is a sign that no matter what happens this year we can at least laugh about it. Why can’t I like this post 100 times?

BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE!...

15 minutes ago, Stoneface said:

BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE!...

It's true!! If you order RIGHT NOW we'll include every card we've ever changed to have the actual rules ON THE CARD!!

Something no X-Wing Fan should ever have to go without.

And as an exclusive, if you call by midnight tonight, you will receive the amazing SABINE FLYS IT ALL upgrade kit.

SABINE WREN, PILOTING EVERY SHIP IN THE ENTIRE GAME. PLUS TITLES FOR ALL THE HUGE SHIPS!!! SABINE'S GLORY FOR THE CR-90, SABINE'S WRATH FOR THE RAIDER CORVETTE, SABINE'S TRUSTY LIL' TRANSPORT FOR THE GR-75, SABINE'S STOLEN TIE FIGHTER WAREHOUSE FOR THE GOZANTI, AND SABINE NEVER CROSSES A BLUE LINE FOR THE C-ROC.

CALL NOW!

Edited by Darth Meanie
10 minutes ago, Darth Meanie said:

It's true!! If you order RIGHT NOW we'll include every card we've ever changed to have the actual rules ON THE CARD!!

Something no X-Wing Fan should ever have to go without.

And as an exclusive, if you call by midnight tonight, you will receive the amazing SABINE FLYS IT ALL upgrade kit.

SABINE WREN, PILOTING EVERY SHIP IN THE ENTIRE GAME. TITLES FOR ALL THE HUGE SHIPS!!! SABINE'S GLORY FOR THE CR-90, SABINE'S WRATH FOR THE RAIDER CORVETTE, SABINE'S TRUSTY LIL' TRANSPORT FOR THE GR-75, SABINE'S STOLEN TIE FIGHTER WAREHOUSE FOR THE GOZANTI, AND SABINE SURE DOES ROCK FOR THE C-ROC.

CALL NOW!

I'm sorry that I can only give you one like for this! This is worthy of a 2 AM infomercial! Or maybe a SNL skit!

It's just a bad dream, its just a bad dream, it's not real, it's just someone trying to be funny, it's not a real thing...

Right?

Edited by Celestial Lizards
11 minutes ago, Celestial Lizards said:

It's just a bad dream, its just a bad dream, it's not real, it's just someone trying to be funny, it's not a real thing...

Right?

you-want-this-dont-you.jpg

I will admit, it would be pretty cool to sign up for a year of custom painted X Wing ships. When I started reading, that's what I thought it was...

Oh how I was mistaken. About a great many things.

Edited by Celestial Lizards

18 minutes ago, Celestial Lizards said:

I will admit, it would be pretty cool to sign up for a year of custom painted X Wing ships. When I started reading, that's what I thought it was...

Oh how I was mistaken. About a great many things.

I did this tongue-in-cheek because FFG could never keep up the schedule, but I would be in for everything I "designed" to get the pilots and narrative elements in play.

I want it. But I know I'll never get it. And of course it was fun to brainstorm the jokes.

At 4 ships a wave, plus a couple of Aces packs, I just posted about 3 years worth of releases with no new plastic ship designs .

And I specifically limited myself to ships that already exist. This doesn't even touch the Rogue One shuttle, Krennic's shuttle, and a lot of other things that would be more than old model/new paint. Which just goes to show how much Star Wars is floating around in the cracks of this game these days.

Edited by Darth Meanie
2 hours ago, Darth Meanie said:

The Expac A Month Club

New for 2018!! Join the expac-a-month club, and every month (er, more or less, this might bleed into 2019) you receive 2 existing ships that need some love!! These packs will feature new repaints for your collection, and will be based on Star Wars themes (not your precious little meta) so there may even be two factions in one box!!!

January 2018: The Partisan Forces

Beautiful black and white repaints of the U-Wing and the X-Wing.

Finally fly K-2SO and Saw Gerrera in the venerable U-Wing. Adds a new side arc for that little monkey dude!

And at last, a little sumpthin’ sumpthin’ to get the T-65 on the table!!

February 2018: The Battle of Yavin

A white TIE/ln and a Gray Y-Wing!

Long overdue squadron mechanics to help the TIE/ln swarm again! And a title for the TIE/rc so you can scout, Coordinate, and Jam!!

And all the missing Y-wing aces from the movies. Pops. In. Space. Well, actually in a Y-Wing. Only K-2SO can survive in space. Plus an EPT for the generic Y-Wing Veterans!!

March 2018: The Battle of Scarif

A Blue Squadron X-wing and a Blood Stripe for the TIE Striker!

TIE Strikers get a bomb slot modification card! Why? I have no idea, but everyone seems to think they need it!!

And at last, the Heroes of Blue Squadron, plus a Blue Squadron Veteran!!

April 2018: The Battle of Endor

Cunning new designs for the B-Wing and the TIE Interceptor.

Finally, the E2 is a Title, freeing up the Mod Slot for better things!!

And the TIE Interceptor get a new title to help it become a little more like a tempered-glass cannon!

And Scythe Squadron for the TIE/ln, cuz oops, we almost forgot about them again.

May 2018: Can I Borrow This?

The Lambda Shuttle and a TIE Defender with prototype yellow stripes!

The venerable TIE Defender, now with Sabine. Need I say more?

Finally, fly the Shuttle Tydirium undercover with Chewie or Han at the helm and sneak behind enemy lines. General Organa and Master Luke crew breathe life into useless crew cards. A rear arc for the shuttle so even the Imperial version gets some love. And, as an added bonus, Sabine flying a Lambda Shuttle, cuz were pretty sure she’ll shipjack one eventually. . .

June 2018: Lonesome Losers

Repaints of the 2 lousiest ships in the game: the E-wing and the TIE Punisher.

We have no idea what will help these clunkers, but we’ve got 6 months to figure it out.

Hmmmm. . . .maybe Range 4 primaries for the E-Wing. Yeah, just use the Epic Range Ruler. Boy, that’ll irk everyone who got rid of everything but Palps. . .

July 2018: TIEs and TAPs

A repainted TIE/ln in Inferno Squadron livery and the TAP in bluish gray!!

Finally, the missing Inquisitors from Rebels season 2.

Plus, all the Imperial Heroes from Battlefront II.

August 2018: Phoenix Squadron

All the heroes of Rebels in A-Wings and X-Wings!!

(And a second chance to fix the X-Wing just in case the January kit didn’t take. . .)

September 2018: We Were Young and Naïve

The Empire Steals Back!! Wedge, Sabine, Hobbie, Han Solo and more from their Imperial Academy days!! More TIE/lns!! (We heard you preferred them to shuttles!)

October 2018: Asteroids Don’t Concern Us

A stunning repaint of the OT Falcon with ENGINE GLOW . And Porgs! Sure , they weren’t in ESB, but TLJ is supposedly the best movie since ESB, and they are soooooo cuuute! Move over Han’s dice, there’s porgs on the console. Poooorrrgggs In Spaaaaaace!

Rules for Space Slugs.

And TIE Bombers that can actually bomb!! With gravity!! Or not!!! You decide!!!!

November 2018: Credits and Power

At last, a Vaksai modeled to look like one!!

Plus, an red and white repaint of the Fang Fighter for the Mandalorians of Clan Saxon. . .bringing the Fang to the Empire!!

December 2018: The Prequels Are Here

Repaint of the Firespray-31 in Jango Fett’s livery with Jango, Aurra Sing, and more bounty hunter scum.

ARC-170 in Republic livery with clone pilots!!

And a Free Year-end Bonus (with 12 redeemed proofs-of-purchase):

The Bladewing Repaint

Featuring the game’s first super-weapon dealing 10 Attack Dice in one shot!! (C’mon, the game’s already up to 5, no sweat. . .)

FFG hire this man

I actually like the sound of much of this :)

For the next thirty minutes, I'm going to give you a special phone number where you can call me so that I can send you a special gift this week. Get your paper and pen ready.

Get-get-get-get-get-ready

I would so buy multiples of all of these, it's almost not even funny. These are great!

16 hours ago, Darth Meanie said:

The venerable TIE Defender, now with Sabine

NO

16 hours ago, Darth Meanie said:

Need I say more?

;)

17 hours ago, Darth Meanie said:

June 2018: Lonesome Losers

Repaints of the 2 lousiest ships in the game: the E-wing and the TIE Punisher.

We have no idea what will help these clunkers, but we’ve got 6 months to figure it out.

Hmmmm. . . .maybe Range 4 primaries for the E-Wing. Yeah, just use the Epic Range Ruler. Boy, that’ll irk everyone who got rid of everything but Palps. . .

My Attempt at an E-Wing Fix (With new pilots of course.)
26519664819_e4380d7c31.jpg 26646124649_cac6526af2.jpg
26519667759_d34edbb2dd.jpg 26519667999_1e64755305.jpg
26519665769_79621b7813.jpg 26519669099_8f10f16405.jpg

And my personal favorite ...


36778996312_020d93500f.jpg

Porgs? But no Ewoks at Endor? For shame!!!

You forgot GUNBOAT Aces, Veterans, and Epics. Shame on you!

3 hours ago, MarekMandalore said:

Porgs? But no Ewoks at Endor? For shame!!!

19 minutes ago, Celestial Lizards said:

You forgot GUNBOAT Aces, Veterans, and Epics. Shame on you!

Seriously dudes, save something for 2019 :P