Imperial Advisor Arem Heshvaun’s NO Spoiler Review of The Last Jedi

By Imperial Advisor Arem Heshvaun, in X-Wing

Here in my NO spoiler review of The Last Jedi

-

Darkness Rises, and Light to Meet It.

I love this movie.

I LOVE this movie.

This is the movie we were waiting to see. Where The Force Awakens had the monumental task of winning back many disheartened fans of the franchise, and in doing so there were clear signs that the film followed the winning template of A New Hope.

While mindful of the films that came before it, The Last Jedi is not a remake of any of them.

Rian Johnson, fully aware that is a Saga film, is no longer chained to the resentment of the ghosts of the Prequel Trilogy and builds upon the love we have of the Original Trilogy then goes into bold new path, one that blows the doors wide open on the Mythology of the Star Wars Saga. He does a sublime job as a film maker and I’m even more excited for his future Trilogy. I am a fan of this man.

He will give fans and theory crafters much to debate about. And what’s a Star Wars film without all the fun lively conjecture, everyone who updates Wookipeedia will be working overtime.

I can’t go over plot points so I’ll discuss what I can a little further.

I like how this movie deals with the elements left over from the last movie with regards to the Resistance and the First Order.

We learn enough of the main characters as we need to know for this movie, and a lot of the wild theories circulating can now be dismissed.

I loved Mark Hamill in this film. Have you ever wondered ‘what if the actors who played in the Prequels somehow reprised their roles for the Original Trilogy?’ If Ewan McGregor played Obi-Wan 30 years later for Episode IV. Well we get our version of this, Hamill is brilliant as the elder Luke. I like Luke more in this film than the complaining farm boy, or unsure Jedi in training of the originals. Kudos to Mark Hamill for his performance.

Carrie Fisher, seeing her on screen brought tears to my eyes, her performance was better than her work on The Force Awakens, General Leia’s role is expanded, and it was lovely to see her on the big screen where she belongs. We love you Carrie.

The pairings of the other actors work well.


Daisy Ridley crushes in this movie. Rey and Kylo Ren get a Hutt’s share of the movie as expected, this film is very much about their journey.

Since I am a loyal to His Imperial Majesty The Emperor Palpatine, I have no great love for this pretender Snoke, but even he had great scenes and moved the plot forward.

Finn and Rose are a great combo as well, Finn still serves as a comedic pause to give us a break from the more serious bits of the film, I am surprised how much I like the Rose character.

I do like General Hux, and he too gets some key moments in the film.

Of the heroes, I think Poe was under utilized, and I wish there was more of Vice Admiral Amilyn Holdo, Laura Dern does a terrific job. Reading her backstory from the novel helped flesh out the character.

There are of course new ships and vehicles, I look forward to seeing many of them in our table top and video games someday.

I really like seeing the interiors of the ships in certain scenes, when I rewatch the movie I plan to pay closer attention now that I don’t have to devote perception on the plot as much.

There are some CRAZY combat sequences and fights scenes. The third act of the film is worth the price of admission.

There are shout outs to the original films, even the Prequels. The music cues are all there, and are as impressive as I remember.


Was this a film on the level of The Empire Strikes Back? No you Bantha Podo. Name me a film that is. Was it on the level of A New Hope? ****, it’s close.


This was an intelligent film. In many was this was a Dark and an adult themed film. I’m surprised to say there were egalitarian themes in the movie. But above all, this was a Star Wars movie. And thankfully friends, we live in the days where that comment is becoming a compliment once again.

I agree. It's really good.

This review is spot-on !

Nicely done!

Very excited to watch it tomorrow!

So I saw it on Monday. I enjoyed it for the most part. I liked it a lot more than The Force Awakens. Mark Hammill is really good returning as Luke Skywalker, though I'm sure there will be a lot of division among Star Wars fans about his storyline. I thought it was fine, but I also understand the opposing argument. But I'm not kidding. Mark Hammill is the best part of this movie most of the time. Visually the movie is beautiful to look at and Williams' score isn't a standout, but it's up to par. Basic takeaway? If you liked TFA, you should like this unless something about plot choices makes you mad. In terms of pacing and dialog and characterization, this film is very close to TFA. Disney's vision for Star Wars, at least the sequential entries, appears to be clear, and Rian Johnson appears to have just picked up the torch from JJ Abrams and done what he was told. It's missing some of the more obvious JJ Abrams touches, but it's nothing significantly new or fresh-feeling. The Millennium Falcon flies through things that are advantageous to flat but wide space ships and TIE Fighters crash chasing it because lol TIE Fighter pilots are stupid. You saw this movie already. If you liked it all those previous times, you'll like this one. Plot-wise, if you felt The Force Awakens was too much of a remix of A New Hope, this movie was basically a remix of The Empire Strikes Back. Big Empire chases Little Rebels. For two and a half hours, without stopping. It literally even replicates a handful of camera shots, and at least one entire scene, and the plot of the film is a strange race-against-the-clock format that raises the stakes, but I don't think was a very good choice and doesn't suit this kind of movie. That's not to say it's just a cheap copy, but it's also not very original at all. It's like 25% original. But this isn't like George Lucas remixing Hidden Fortress with WW2 Air War serials to make A New Hope. This is Disney remixing Star Wars again.

It does have big space battles (you won't have to wait, the first one starts about the 3 minute mark), and a big fun lightsaber battle, and all the things you liked about TFA, if you liked TFA. That's really the long and the short of it. If you liked TFA, this movie is more of that style of Star Wars film. This isn't The Empire Strikes Back for a new generation. This is just a sequel to The Force Awakens with a recognizable story comparison. I will say that the screenwriting problems with TFA are thankfully missing though. It has a much more coherent plot, even if it's fairly simple and linear. Tonally, however, it's all over the place. There's too much comedic relief in this film, to the point where it's distracting at times, and undercuts the dramatic tension. Think back to The Empire Strikes Back: Yoda's first appearance is funny, as he pretends to be some lunatic to frazzle Luke. But then it shifts and Yoda becomes serious. Sure, we get small bits of things that might make the audience laugh, like R2D2 and Yoda getting dumped when Luke's concentration fails, but the tone stays serious. TLJ can't seem to do that. Way too many sight gags. Way too many jokes that don't fit the scene. Rey thinks she's hallucinating Kylo Ren and shoots at him, blowing a hole in the wall of a building. Luke asks her what happened and she says "I was cleaning my blaster and it went off." Yeah, that's the person I want to be teaching force tricks to. The girl who would have been kicked off the firing range at Rebel Trooper Basic Training because she cleans her blaster while it's loaded and has a negligent discharge. Rising dramatic tension is supposed to be tense. There's a scene in TLJ that I likened to "What if when Luke fails at raising his X-Wing out of the swamp, Yoda does it, showing him the power of the Force, reaching this moment of realization and change for Luke... and then Yoda plops it down and splashes R2D2 and Luke with mud. Cut back to Yoda who shrugs with a wry smile." Suddenly The Empire Strikes Back isn't a classic anymore, lol. Oh, and there's a "mother" joke in TLJ, and no, I'm not kidding.

It's a 3/5 movie if you go to the movies for story and characters and dialog. If you like battle scenes, and fight scenes, and chase scenes, and love lightsabers, and think mashing up TESB with second-tier Marvel movie humor is a good idea, it's a 5/5. This movie succeeds at being a Star Wars movie. And that's probably all that matters for a lot of people. It's significantly better than The Force Awakens though, and infinitely better than whatever that was with Jar Jar Binks and cyborgs with four lightsabers and itchy sand that gets everywhere we were told was Star Wars fifteen or so years ago. Again, I enjoyed it for the most part, and harder core Star Wars fans than I will really enjoy it (again, unless they get mad about some of the plot points). But it is what it is. It feels too small for a Star Wars movie, almost. Kinda hard to frame that, but I just expect more from a Star Wars movie, especially after Rogue One showed us the mythology is big enough to survive new characters and settings and even new themes and the switch to the war film genre. But because the movie is basically just one long slow chase sequence, it doesn't move the story very far or feel like anything other than a bloated episode of a TV show.

"This isn't going to go the way you think."

<Ron Howard voiceover to the audience> "It goes pretty much the way you thought"

Also, don't be a fat guy in Star Wars, especially if they can stuff you into the cockpit of an X-Wing. I have to assume this is now a running joke after Porkins and Red Five from Rogue One. Fat Guy One in TLJ doesn't even get any dialog before his "I'm hit!" (or whatever dying distress call he made, I can't remember specifically). This isn't a spoiler either. You only see this character for one cut, as he blows up. Haha, look at the exploding fat guy!

Edited by TheVeteranSergeant
11 minutes ago, TheVeteranSergeant said:

So I saw it on Monday. I enjoyed it for the most part. I liked it a lot more than The Force Awakens. Mark Hammill is really good returning as Luke Skywalker, though I'm sure there will be a lot of division among Star Wars fans about his storyline. I thought it was fine, but I also understand the opposing argument. But I'm not kidding. Mark Hammill is the best part of this movie most of the time. Visually the movie is beautiful to look at and Williams' score isn't a standout, but it's up to par. Basic takeaway? If you liked TFA, you should like this unless something about plot choices makes you mad. In terms of pacing and dialog and characterization, this film is very close to TFA. Disney's vision for Star Wars, at least the sequential entries, appears to be clear, and Rian Johnson appears to have just picked up the torch from JJ Abrams and done what he was told. It's missing some of the more obvious JJ Abrams touches, but it's nothing significantly new or fresh-feeling. The Millennium Falcon flies through things that are advantageous to flat but wide space ships and TIE Fighters crash chasing it because lol TIE Fighter pilots are stupid. You saw this movie already. If you liked it all those previous times, you'll like this one. Plot-wise, if you felt The Force Awakens was too much of a remix of A New Hope, this movie was basically a remix of The Empire Strikes Back. Big Empire chases Little Rebels. For two and a half hours, without stopping. It literally even replicates a handful of camera shots, and at least one entire scene, and the plot of the film is a strange race-against-the-clock format that raises the stakes, but I don't think was a very good choice and doesn't suit this kind of movie. That's not to say it's just a cheap copy, but it's also not very original at all. It's like 25% original. But this isn't like George Lucas remixing Hidden Fortress with WW2 Air War serials to make A New Hope. This is Disney remixing Star Wars again.

It does have big space battles (you won't have to wait, the first one starts about the 3 minute mark), and a big fun lightsaber battle, and all the things you liked about TFA, if you liked TFA. That's really the long and the short of it. If you liked TFA, this movie is more of that style of Star Wars film. This isn't The Empire Strikes Back for a new generation. This is just a sequel to The Force Awakens with a recognizable story comparison. I will say that the screenwriting problems with TFA are thankfully missing though. It has a much more coherent plot, even if it's fairly simple and linear. Tonally, however, it's all over the place. There's too much comedic relief in this film, to the point where it's distracting at times, and undercuts the dramatic tension. Think back to The Empire Strikes Back: Yoda's first appearance is funny, as he pretends to be some lunatic to frazzle Luke. But then it shifts and Yoda becomes serious. Sure, we get small bits of things that might make the audience laugh, like R2D2 and Yoda getting dumped when Luke's concentration fails, but the tone stays serious. TLJ can't seem to do that. Way too many sight gags. Way too many jokes that don't fit the scene. Rey thinks she's hallucinating Kylo Ren and shoots at him, blowing a hole in the wall of a building. Luke asks her what happened and she says "I was cleaning my blaster and it went off." Yeah, that's the person I want to be teaching force tricks to. The girl who would have been kicked off the firing range at Rebel Trooper Basic Training because she cleans her blaster while it's loaded and has a negligent discharge. Rising dramatic tension is supposed to be tense. There's a scene in TLJ that I likened to "What if when Luke fails at raising his X-Wing out of the swamp, Yoda does it, showing him the power of the Force, reaching this moment of realization and change for Luke... and then Yoda plops it down and splashes R2D2 and Luke with mud. Cut back to Yoda who shrugs with a wry smile." Suddenly The Empire Strikes Back isn't a classic anymore, lol. Oh, and there's a "mother" joke in TLJ, and no, I'm not kidding.

It's a 3/5 movie if you go to the movies for story and characters and dialog. If you like battle scenes, and fight scenes, and chase scenes, and love lightsabers, and think mashing up TESB with second-tier Marvel movie humor is a good idea, it's a 5/5. This movie succeeds at being a Star Wars movie. And that's probably all that matters for a lot of people. It's significantly better than The Force Awakens though, and infinitely better than whatever that was with Jar Jar Binks and cyborgs with four lightsabers and itchy sand that gets everywhere we were told was Star Wars fifteen or so years ago. Again, I enjoyed it for the most part, and harder core Star Wars fans than I will really enjoy it (again, unless they get mad about some of the plot points). But it is what it is. It feels too small for a Star Wars movie, almost. Kinda hard to frame that, but I just expect more from a Star Wars movie, especially after Rogue One showed us the mythology is big enough to survive new characters and settings and even new themes and the switch to the war film genre. But because the movie is basically just one long slow chase sequence, it doesn't move the story very far or feel like anything other than a bloated episode of a TV show.

"This isn't going to go the way you think."

<Ron Howard voiceover to the audience> "It goes pretty much the way you thought"

Also, don't be a fat guy in Star Wars, especially if they can stuff you into the cockpit of an X-Wing. I have to assume this is now a running joke after Porkins and Red Five from Rogue One. Fat Guy One in TLJ doesn't even get any dialog before his "I'm hit!" (or whatever dying distress call he made, I can't remember specifically). This isn't a spoiler either. You only see this character for one cut, as he blows up. Haha, look at the exploding fat guy!

Can you tell me (maybe in a Private Message) if we see any new ships fitting for x-wing? Like a First Order Bomber....?

There will be a couple new ships for Armada, assuming Armada does new trilogy stuff (I don't know, i only play X-Wing). For everything else, I think we've seen it, as far as the new A-Wing, Kylo's TIE, the bomber. There's a little shuttle thing, but who knows if that gets a model (then again, Quadjumper did and it's in TFA for like seven tenths of a second). There's a new transport, that basically looks like the old transport but different. There's one other ship, but I can't really say much about it without spoilers, but it would be the right size for X-Wing, but it doesn't ever use or display any weapons that I recall, so who knows. There are diagrams of a TIE Interceptor and a TIE Bomber shown at one point, so perhaps it confirms that these exist in the New Trilogy timeline, but they're just diagrams, and not actually in the FO color scheme. If they show up in the movie during the space battles, they were whizzing around too fast for me to spot them. I will admit I wasn't really scouring the movie for new X-Wing ships, lol. There are a couple hangar scenes they might have been tucked into the background of.

I just have one question.

Is DJ's ship cool?

Oh man. That... I may be against the critical grain here, but I don't think that that was a good Star Wars movie. It's definitely my least favourite of the post-Disney films, and maybe my least favourite Star Wars movies. Including prequels. :(

1 minute ago, MacchuWA said:

Oh man. That... I may be against the critical grain here, but I don't think that that was a good Star Wars movie. It's definitely my least favourite of the post-Disney films, and maybe my least favourite Star Wars movies. Including prequels. :(

Without delving into spoilers, what didn't you like?

12 hours ago, Imperial Advisor Arem Heshvaun said:

Here in my NO spoiler review of The Last Jedi

-

Darkness Rises, and Light to Meet It.

I love this movie.

I LOVE this movie.

This is the movie we were waiting to see. Where The Force Awakens had the monumental task of winning back many disheartened fans of the franchise, and in doing so there were clear signs that the film followed the winning template of A New Hope.

While mindful of the films that came before it, The Last Jedi is not a remake of any of them.

Rian Johnson, fully aware that is a Saga film, is no longer chained to the resentment of the ghosts of the Prequel Trilogy and builds upon the love we have of the Original Trilogy then goes into bold new path, one that blows the doors wide open on the Mythology of the Star Wars Saga. He does a sublime job as a film maker and I’m even more excited for his future Trilogy. I am a fan of this man.

He will give fans and theory crafters much to debate about. And what’s a Star Wars film without all the fun lively conjecture, everyone who updates Wookipeedia will be working overtime.

I can’t go over plot points so I’ll discuss what I can a little further.

I like how this movie deals with the elements left over from the last movie with regards to the Resistance and the First Order.

We learn enough of the main characters as we need to know for this movie, and a lot of the wild theories circulating can now be dismissed.

I loved Mark Hamill in this film. Have you ever wondered ‘what if the actors who played in the Prequels somehow reprised their roles for the Original Trilogy?’ If Ewan McGregor played Obi-Wan 30 years later for Episode IV. Well we get our version of this, Hamill is brilliant as the elder Luke. I like Luke more in this film than the complaining farm boy, or unsure Jedi in training of the originals. Kudos to Mark Hamill for his performance.

Carrie Fisher, seeing her on screen brought tears to my eyes, her performance was better than her work on The Force Awakens, General Leia’s role is expanded, and it was lovely to see her on the big screen where she belongs. We love you Carrie.

The pairings of the other actors work well.


Daisy Ridley crushes in this movie. Rey and Kylo Ren get a Hutt’s share of the movie as expected, this film is very much about their journey.

Since I am a loyal to His Imperial Majesty The Emperor Palpatine, I have no great love for this pretender Snoke, but even he had great scenes and moved the plot forward.

Finn and Rose are a great combo as well, Finn still serves as a comedic pause to give us a break from the more serious bits of the film, I am surprised how much I like the Rose character.

I do like General Hux, and he too gets some key moments in the film.

Of the heroes, I think Poe was under utilized, and I wish there was more of Vice Admiral Amilyn Holdo, Laura Dern does a terrific job. Reading her backstory from the novel helped flesh out the character.

There are of course new ships and vehicles, I look forward to seeing many of them in our table top and video games someday.

I really like seeing the interiors of the ships in certain scenes, when I rewatch the movie I plan to pay closer attention now that I don’t have to devote perception on the plot as much.

There are some CRAZY combat sequences and fights scenes. The third act of the film is worth the price of admission.

There are shout outs to the original films, even the Prequels. The music cues are all there, and are as impressive as I remember.


Was this a film on the level of The Empire Strikes Back? No you Bantha Podo. Name me a film that is. Was it on the level of A New Hope? ****, it’s close.


This was an intelligent film. In many was this was a Dark and an adult themed film. I’m surprised to say there were egalitarian themes in the movie. But above all, this was a Star Wars movie. And thankfully friends, we live in the days where that comment is becoming a compliment once again.

Does the Empire have diplomatic relations with Disney?

Just kidding!:lol:

Interesting review, and thanks for posting.

Rogue One: Competent and realistic Imperial and Rebel military forces fight high-stakes game of desperate space/ground combat.

TLJ/TFA: Incompetent and utterly amateurish military forces (on both sides) blunder from disaster to disaster in a series of increasingly improbable scenarios.

Great saber fight scene in the middle, though.

Just came from watching it with my son.

He spoke before I could even open my mouth "Is this even a Star Wars movie? It's more like Guardians of the Galaxy 2!".
Yes.

In our opinion, the worst big screen Star Wars movie ever made. (We loved Rogue One, I disliked TFA, he didn´'t mind it)

It straight away copies scenes and dialogues from previous movies. No even just Star Wars movies, no. You will be thinking "I have seen this before a thousand times" in several scenes. Because you have.
Empire Strikes Back? We saw it coming.
Return of the Jedi? Entire scenes and lines.
Even Independence Day, The Two Towers, and other movies.

Probably the worst Star Wars space battle ever depicted on screen, and the longest. It contradicts everything we have ever been told of how space battles work in Star Wars. The lamest, silliest game of Armada you can imagine? Worse.
If you thought that Han hypering in behind the shields of Starkiller Base was a forced retcon of how hyperspace worked, here you will see it taken much further towards the realm of cringe.

All characters seem to have a multiple personality disorder, playing comically exaggerated parodies of themselves, then immediately switching to the opposite of themselves in the next scene, then back again.
The humor doesn't know where to stop. Did you see those jokes in Guardians of the Galaxy 2 that fell so flat that you felt almost bad for the characters?
Here not only some jokes fall flat, but others feel so forced or so out of character or even out of "universe" that they become disturbing.
The porgs, that have been pushed down our throats so much by the marketing, are not only overdone. They look like kind of sad little hand sock puppets that belong to a cheap 80s movie, not a multimillion franchise from 2017.

There are so many things in this movie that go nowhere, or feel stitched in. The DJ character (and "his" ship) are both underwhelming and feel like a copy of another classic character of the saga.
Leia is, most of the time, just around with nothing to do other than make us remember how much we will miss Carry Fisher since she won't be around in the next movie to do anything worth anything.

There are two things that are cool with this movie: a certain lightsaber fight, and Mark Hamill.
The rest is so forgettable that I doubt anyone will remember this movie when they'll think on Star Wars in the future.

Edited by Azrapse
8 minutes ago, Azrapse said:

Just came from watching it with my son.

He spoke before I could even open my mouth "Is this even a Star Wars movie? It's more like Guardians of the Galaxy 2!".
Yes.

In our opinion, the worst big screen Star Wars movie ever made. (We loved Rogue One, I disliked TFA, he didn´'t mind it)

It straight away copies scenes and dialogues from previous movies. No even just Star Wars movies, no. You will be thinking "I have seen this before a thousand times" in several scenes. Because you have.
Empire Strikes Back? We saw it coming.
Return of the Jedi? Entire scenes and lines.
Even Independence Day, The Two Towers, and other movies.

Probably the worst Star Wars space battle ever depicted on screen, and the longest. It contradicts everything we have ever been told of how space battles work in Star Wars. The lamest, silliest game of Armada you can imagine? Worse.
If you thought that Han hypering in behind the shields of Starkiller Base was a forced retcon of how hyperspace worked, here you will see it taken much further towards the realm of cringe.

All characters seem to have a multiple personality disorder, playing comically exaggerated parodies of themselves, then immediately switching to the opposite of themselves in the next scene, then back again.
The humor doesn't know where to stop. Did you see those jokes in Guardians of the Galaxy 2 that fell so flat that you felt almost bad for the characters?
Here not only some jokes fall flat, but others feel so forced or so out of character or even out of "universe" that they become disturbing.
The porgs, that have been pushed down our throats so much by the marketing, are not only overdone. They look like kind of sad little hand sock puppets that belong to a cheap 80s movie, not a multimillion franchise from 2017.

There are so many things in this move go nowhere, or feel stitched in. The DJ character (and "his" ship) are both underwhelming and feel like a copy of another classic character of the saga.
Leia is, most of the time, just around with nothing to do other than make us remember how much we will miss Carry Fisher since she won't be around in the next movie to do anything worth anything.

There are two thinks that are cool with this movie: a certain lightsaber fight, and Mark Hamill.
The rest is so forgettable that I doubt anyone will remember this movie when they'll think on Star Wars in the future.

^This.

Man, I have not seen it yet, but I hate the Porgs. Disney is trying too hard. (Did anyone here ever have a Ewok toy? Or did you have a toy X-Wing instead? Why don't adults understand even kids think they are kiddish!)

My biggest questions that will not have spoilers with it:

Did they tone down Rey's controversial perfection, or is she more flawed than in TFA?

Any corvette size ships for Epic?

Any new Imperial ships that would fit on a large base (That's not a shuttle)?

Any on screen scum ships other than Quadjumpers?

PS Thank you for giving a good spoiler free review, from both the like and dislike sides. It has cooled my jets a little, but I still look forward to it.

Edited by Jadotch

This is by far the worst SW movie to date, so freaking dissapointed. HUUUGE chunks are lifted from Empire and Jedi. The rest are just like a long mediocre episode of Clone Wars. God **** im dissapointed!

2 hours ago, Jadotch said:

Man, I have not seen it yet, but I hate the Porgs.

I did too, when I saw the trailers. They aren't that bad. If it were my movie, I'd leave them out, but the Mouse wants to sell toys. They're a little over-used but they aren't distractingly terrible.

Did they tone down Rey's controversial perfection, or is she more flawed than in TFA?

Invincible Rey is still a thing, but it is toned down and a lot less distracting in this movie. Amusingly enough, Snoke makes a reference to it that seems an awful lot like a sly jab at TFA.

People either love it or hate it. Most of the critics reviews like it. (Currently 94% on Rotten Tomatoes.) But the people generally on this board don't like it. Interesting.

Edited by Jadotch
1 minute ago, TheVeteranSergeant said:

I did too, when I saw the trailers. They aren't that bad. If it were my movie, I'd leave them out, but the Mouse wants to sell toys. They're a little over-used but they aren't distractingly terrible.

Invincible Rey is still a thing, but it is toned down and a lot less distracting in this movie. Amusingly enough, Snoke makes a reference to it that seems an awful lot like a sly jab at TFA.

Thanks!

8 hours ago, Scopes said:

Without delving into spoilers, what didn't you like?

I'll try to be as non specific as possible.

A lot of it was cinematic/storytelling stuff. The film felt muddled: The tone was off, with jokes only landing some of the time. There is one "joke" sequence with BB-8 about 3/4s if the way through the film that has the same feel as the 3PO/battle droid sequence in episode 2. It's not quite as slapsticky, but it's bad. They try to lampshade it by having the characters react as if it's kind of ridiculous, but that does not help at all, it really just highlights it.

There was a tonne going on, story line wise as well, and not everything was really resolved - some things just seemed to peter out kind of meaninglessly. Entire sequences and side plots could have been removed or drastically cut to reduce what felt like a bloated run time.

Several characters were very badly used. I'm thinking of three in particular (some new, some returning) who were completely unsatisfying in the way in which they either entered/exited the story line, or were used within it. Specific character issues that previous movies left hanging were either not resolved at all, or resolved very unsatisfactorily

As a Star Wars movie, it has it's own issues. A lot of the plot relies on previously completely unseen Jedi powers, and key sequences rely on displays of force abilities that the narrative has not earned or built up at all. There is a particular sequence with Rey that feels very out of place in a Star Wars movie.

All in all, this is the first time in my life that I have walked out of Star Wars movie with no desire to watch it again. I'm sure I will - when it comes out, I'll buy the Blu Ray. But as a kid I saw Episode1 in theatres four or five times. I saw all the subsequent movies at least twice at the cinema because I walked out feeling excited. I walked out of this one... Disappointed. :(

8 hours ago, Azrapse said:

Just came from watching it with my son.

He spoke before I could even open my mouth "Is this even a Star Wars movie? It's more like Guardians of the Galaxy 2!".
Yes.

In our opinion, the worst big screen Star Wars movie ever made. (We loved Rogue One, I disliked TFA, he didn´'t mind it)

It straight away copies scenes and dialogues from previous movies. No even just Star Wars movies, no. You will be thinking "I have seen this before a thousand times" in several scenes. Because you have.
Empire Strikes Back? We saw it coming.
Return of the Jedi? Entire scenes and lines.
Even Independence Day, The Two Towers, and other movies.

Probably the worst Star Wars space battle ever depicted on screen, and the longest. It contradicts everything we have ever been told of how space battles work in Star Wars. The lamest, silliest game of Armada you can imagine? Worse.
If you thought that Han hypering in behind the shields of Starkiller Base was a forced retcon of how hyperspace worked, here you will see it taken much further towards the realm of cringe.

All characters seem to have a multiple personality disorder, playing comically exaggerated parodies of themselves, then immediately switching to the opposite of themselves in the next scene, then back again.
The humor doesn't know where to stop. Did you see those jokes in Guardians of the Galaxy 2 that fell so flat that you felt almost bad for the characters?
Here not only some jokes fall flat, but others feel so forced or so out of character or even out of "universe" that they become disturbing.
The porgs, that have been pushed down our throats so much by the marketing, are not only overdone. They look like kind of sad little hand sock puppets that belong to a cheap 80s movie, not a multimillion franchise from 2017.

There are so many things in this movie that go nowhere, or feel stitched in. The DJ character (and "his" ship) are both underwhelming and feel like a copy of another classic character of the saga.
Leia is, most of the time, just around with nothing to do other than make us remember how much we will miss Carry Fisher since she won't be around in the next movie to do anything worth anything.

There are two things that are cool with this movie: a certain lightsaber fight, and Mark Hamill.
The rest is so forgettable that I doubt anyone will remember this movie when they'll think on Star Wars in the future.

Wow, I couldn't have a more different opinion.

And I'm an OT diehard fan who hated Ep. VII and the Prequels.

Dang, I think this is the best Star Wars movie so far. No plot holes as in the OT, PT and in Ep. VII (OK, the Vice-Admiral should have pull that stunt before everybody was dead), a development of characters never seen and the most beautiful photography in a SW movie. It was reverential to the old films, but not afraid to move forward.

But I agree with you. This is not a Star Wars movie. This is something more.

5 hours ago, Dwing said:

This is by far the worst SW movie to date, so freaking dissapointed. HUUUGE chunks are lifted from Empire and Jedi. The rest are just like a long mediocre episode of Clone Wars. God **** im dissapointed!

How this is possible?

I went to the theater expecting some rehashed crap like the Ep. VII and saw a movie that works on its own merit. What were you guys expecting, anyway?

It's the end of Star Wars as we know it and I feel fine.

39 minutes ago, Odanan said:

Dang, I think this is the best Star Wars movie so far. No plot holes as in the OT, PT and in Ep. VII (OK, the Vice-Admiral should have pull that stunt before everybody was dead), a development of characters never seen and the most beautiful photography in a SW movie. It was reverential to the old films, but not afraid to move forward.

Are you serious? I cannot go into spoilers, but if you are in this board I assume you know a thing or two of how space battles work in Star Wars. You know. There are big, slow things that shoot stuff, and then little, faster things that shoot stuff too, that are a threat to the bigger ones if not taken care of.
Didn't you see anything wrong with that during the whole second act? Something that totally contradicted the fist act?

The stunt you mention, that is a whole plot hole. Why didn't anyone else ever used that before if it was so effective? And don't come with "It would be too expensive". They could use just whatever they could get from a scrapyard.

The new Jedi powers someone else mentions feel like the kind of timey whimey mumbo jumbo The Doctor would just hand wave in a sentence in a bad episode of Doctor Who to justify a rushed script. It totally feels like the writers said "We cannot make this work. Let's just make up some force power that solves this mess for us".

The whole Canto Bight act was such an unnecessary gratuitous detour that basically led to a dead end. Then whatever they were trying to achieve there just pops in before them. As if the writers got bored with the whole situation going nowhere and decided to cut it short all of sudden. It reminded me to some pen-and-paper roleplay game sessions I had with some friends where, after hours of not achieving anything because of bad dice rolls or not getting the right idea, the narrator would just make our goal appear in front of us out of frustration.
The Tatooine detour in The Phantom Menace is the closest thing I can compare it to, or Bespin in the Empire Strikes Back. But the consequences of those are so massive in the saga that you cannot really call them detours. Canto Bight felt like it was just something to fill up time and give some characters something to do.

Do characters really develop? For every step they take forward, they take one or two backwards, ending in a state that was identical or almost indistinguishable from where they started, or even flatter!
Did you learn anything from Rey other than she being the Mary Sue she was in TFA?
Did Kylo evolve into something different by the end of the movie other than the same whiny emo he was in TFA?
Was Poe anything else the whole movie other than a parody of himself, basically an adjective turned into a character?
Did we learn more of Phasma? Of Snoke? Of Hux? Where they any different by the end of the movie than what they were at the beginning?
Did we get to know that admiral so that we could care about her?
Did Finn and the new female character achieve anything at all during the whole movie? Everything happened around them oblivious to their actions. The plot would have been exactly the same if these two characters had been absent during its entirety.
The same with Leia, Chewie, R2-D2, C3-PO... Do these characters have any interaction with the main characters or the plot other than saying "Hey, we are still here". (And I am not forgetting Luke's change of mind. Something that sincerely could have happened for whatever other reason).

Does this movie make Star Wars grow?
I don't think so. All the opposite, it burns it to the ground. It takes everything George Lucas created and puts it ceremoniously on a bonfire and lets it go in the most unsatisfying and rushed way, while still manages to "plagiarize" it.
While TFA was a remake of Star Wars, TLJ is the deconstruction of it. The flesh is ripped off the bones and consumed, leaving a skeleton of what it was, that is covered with a collage of "The Best of Star Wars" to hide how dead is inside.

Somehow @Azrapse has managed to steal the words from my mind, and much more eloquently.

One thing that bugged me was moving away from the three act structure that every saga movie has followed so far. It coupled with the lack of downtime between it and Force Awakens meant that the story was super constrained with what they could do, and frankly it felt way less Star Wars because of it. It was a bit like watching a two and a half hour Battlestar Galactica episode.