So I think this is a very troublesome thing that my players and I have been discussing from time to time and can't really figure out the answer. Warning: the stuff ahead is not all me, I have incorporated arguments I don't necessarily agree with so if you see something that disagrees with another post of mine that is why. So Jedi were first mentioned in ANH, and we learn that they were guardians of the republic. By ROTJ we see that Luke is now the only Jedi and he faces the Emperor and his Father, also a Sith. We don't really have any indication that Jedi need to be the cold, detached monks that we later have in the prequels, a detail that I feel was a creation of the paperback jockeys who filled up the EU in the long night between ROTJ and Episode I.
Prequels come about, and George has had copious amounts of the Kool Aid. The Jedi are now something that doesn't belong to him fully, and he has a story team from the novels and games advising him when he wants filler info. He has final say, which means he can say yes to anything he wants and is convenient to the story. 1999 The Jedi now have all these rules and codes of how they do things, some of them contradictory and failing to adapt to human nature. They cannot love but need to protect people and life sometimes. They suppress their feelings. That's a big one, they suppress their feelings. Have you ever tried to do that? We talked about this and everyone at the table had the same story, suppressing your feelings makes them more powerful.
The Sith can have passion, but in order to actually love anyone but yourself you have to have some ability to be selfless. So Sith cannot have love because it would make them weak. Does the Force have nothing to do with Love? If the Jedi cannot have it, and the Sith cannot have it, is the Force anti-love? Are these magical heroes and villains not supposed to be characters we can relate to, but just cartoons? Are the only real people the ones who don't use the Force? I kind of feel like this was a **** up on the part of George. He had to have a love story and it had to be forbidden, so why not have the order forbid it? How about because it makes them look like dicks for no good reason? There were a bunch of ways they could have forbidden that relationship (statutory for one) , but George was fond of his basket so his eggs went there. I have been trying to puzzle out why people think the Jedi were dopes in the prequels, and this seems to me to be the strongest thing. Imagine if the Jedi had told Anakin that they sense worry in him about his mother, perhaps you should go and get your mother and we will bring her here. What if he had been allowed to marry Padme, and what if she hadn't been his only girlfriend and he had a few relationships under his belt? I think George used the EU definition of Jedi to write his story, and the Jedi are worse for it because they have this giant nonsense contradiction built into their rules.
But what about all pain coming from attachments? Well that may be true, but hopefully by the time you are an adult you have some ability to cope with your pain and emotions enough that you don't kill yourself or others when you encounter that pain. I think the fallen knight is an old literary device, and the Jedi code functions like chivalry and a monastic oath all in one. It is like the Bushido code of the Samurai, but without seppuku, and without the realization that human psychology will not allow you to be a robot. How can they have not known this?
So if you have any thoughts on this matter I would love to have more opinions to think about. Thanks for any help