See title

Pick up where we left off Luke & Rey on the Island. Luke complains about the Knights of Ren, Kylo, and Snoke. Rey tells him about beating Kylo. Luke gives her the anger leads to the dark side speech, says training Jedi's is to dangerous because they can just fall to the dark side like Kylo. But since she taught herself so much already he agrees to train her. No conversation is had about her parents.

Get some explanation about how the First Order is now the dominant military force in the galaxy even after losing the Death Star 3.0. Some dialogue explains how the resistance has fewer forces and ships or overall or something.

Finn recovering gets a bunch of robot parts implanted in his spine. Poe checks on him when he is let out of the hospital. Hux and the First Order attacks their base with an overwhelming force. Poe, Finn, Chewie, escape with Princess Leia to somewhere safe, a new planet they use as a hide out. Leia tells R2D2 to send a distress call to the Falcon and Rey/Luke.

Meanwhile Kylo is with Snoke completing his training. They show him learning new Force powers or something by practicing on prisoners. Snoke tells him the plan is for Kylo to capture Rey using Leia as bait to get Luke/Rey to come out of hiding. Introduce some new bounty hunters hired to help Kylo capture Leia.

Kylo and Hux reuinite plan their attack on the hideout planet. Pew Pew Pew. Resistance loses the space battle. Poe and Chewie go back down to the planet. Ground battle happens as the First Order tries to break into the base where Leia is. They do. Kylo captures Leia brings her back to the First Orders new biggest ever capital ship. Poe Finn Chewie freak out about it.

Rey/Luke show up after the Resistance hide out base has been mostly destroyed. They free Poe/Finn and some pilots. Whatever is left of the crew takes remaining ships and goes on an attack run to get Leia back from the capital ship.

Rey/Luke make their way to Kylo/Leia. Everyone reunites. Lightsaber battle between Kylo + Bounty Hunters and Rey + Luke. Kylo beats Rey and Luke. Leia uses the force or something subdues Kylo tells him to cut that **** out. He agrees to since shes his moms.

Snoke shows up. Kills Leia. Kylo freaks out about it. Snoke reveals Rey is actually a Palpatine that Luke tried and succeeded in saving, Luke decided was better to hide her on Jakku after Kylo destroyed the school. Snoke captures Rey tells Kylo he isnt needed anymore. Finn/Poe/Chewie show up and get Luke out of there, capture Kylo they retreat to Akbars fleet somewhere else I guess.

Movie ends.

Next movie Snoke begin to try and undo all the good guy training Rey has had. Luke works to get Kylo back to the light. Rey struggles with it in the next movie escapes and joins wirh Kylo both redeem themselves and ends up being good blah blah blah.

force sloth

45 minutes ago, Bike Stunts said:

force sloth

Or that

Force Sloths inherit the galaxy

Sam Witwer shows up and everyone's like "Starkiller?!?!?" and he's like "No, I'm Sam Witwer, and I now use Lightsaber Nunchucks."

The rest of the movie is 1st order troops running from him and him destroying them, chuck norris style.

Luke takes Rey to the other side of the island where there's a tricked out space van parked.

'Who's van is that?' asks Rey?

'It's yours' says Luke. 'In fact you could almost say that it's your Rey van. Yup, your Reyvan. Ok this joke sounded a lot better when I was a half-crazed hermit, your real name is Revan'.

Millennia of memories flood back into Revan's mind and she has a quick montage with Luke that see her level up twice.

She proceeds to go around the galaxy doing odd jobs for people while the First Order kills millions. When she eventually gets to the Finalizer, she's ground enough levels that she proceeds to easily best Kylo Ren in a fight. Suddenly, Finn jumps in saying 'Keep back Revan, he's too strong for you!'. The blast doors close on the two of them fighting as Revan screams 'His blade can't even hurt me at this point, I put all my points into Constitution'. Rey then goes back to Manaan to try to finish the swoop racing side quest that she just couldn't get the hang of.

The movie starts with a Star Destroyer the size of a Death Star moving across the screen. The First Order launches a Probe Droid at an ice planet where the Resistance is hiding. Chewbacca carelessly shoots at it, destroying it but broadcasting their location. An enourmous battle involving invincible walkers ensues. The Resistance flees.

The hyperdrive on the Falcon is broken, and the main cast goes on a haphazard series of misadventures through an asteroid field. They eventually land on a city in the clouds, where they are greeted by an older Lando Calrissian.

Meanwhile, Rey is impatient at the weird old hermit who is impeding her quest to find the famed Jedi, Luke Skywalker. Suddenly, in Luke’s hut, she hears Han talking to the hermit through the Force and realizes that this hermit is in fact the old Jedi she was looking for. She begins a long series of training exercises, most of which involve carrying Luke around in a backpack.

Meanwhile, Lando betrays the heroes to the First Order. Poe and Finn have a touching scene as Poe is frozen in carbonite. Chewbacca roars. C-3PO is inexplicably disassembled and carried in a backpack by Chewbacca.

Rey runs away from Luke to free Poe and rescue her friends. Arriving too late, she falls into a trap laid by Kylo and they fight a long duel. At the end of the duel, Kylo cuts off her hand and asks her to join him, and reveals absolutely nothing about her parents. Bored, Rey jumps off the cliff.

At the last minute, Rey is rescued by the Falcon. The Resistance flees into the Outer Rim. Just as we think the movie is over, and the heroes are gazing at the Galaxy, a Death Star twice as big as Starkiller Base shows up and destroys half the galaxy. After a 45-minute battle, the Death Star explodes. Scene.

@Kieransi

Nailed it.

Pure genius.

Give that wookie an oscar.

Luke tells Rey that Kylo Ren killed her father.

Kylo Ren chops of Rey's hand ( Lightsaber has an inner monologue of "oh no not again" as it falls from a high cliff/ledge ).

Kylo: "Luke never told you what happened to your father."

Rey: "He told me enough. He told me you killed him."

Kylo: "No. I am your father."

Rey: "That's not true. That's impossible."

Kylo: "Search your feelings you know it to be true."

Rey: "Noooooooooooooooooo. Noooooooooooooo."

At which point Doc Brown slaps his forehead and, with a look of horror on his face, declares: "Great scott!"

Marty looks on in confusion: "This is heavy."

Romulan captain Nero, having survived his ship falling through the black hole, then proceeds to explain how some of the red matter that spilled out of Spocks future ship drifted into the galaxy far far away and opened several black holes. One of these black holes swallowed Ben Solo and sent him back in time where he had a night of lovey dovey kiss kiss bang bang with Rey's mother. Unfortunately the disruption to the space time continuum causes an imbalance in the Force which resulted in the Force ripping Ben Solo back to the present. Rather than comfort a depressed Ben, Luke tells him that love is forbidden for a Jedi and continues his training. Snoke promises Ben " Unlimited powwwwwwwwaaaaaar ", including the ability to time travel. All Ben has to do is go stark raving bonkers and slaughter all the Jedi.

Rey turns to Luke, who just happens to show up, and says: "if Ben Solo is my father, and Kylo Ren is Ben Solo, then how could Kylo have killed my father?"

Luke shrugs: "what I told you was true. From a certain point of view."

Somewhere in the Force Obi Wan sniggers.

Luke goes over to the dark side.*

"I've become a sith, like my father before me."

Then Rey beats him and becomes the last jedi.

* Okay, actually I hope that won't be the case, but that was the first thing that popped up in my head.

The movie starts with Rey still holding out the lightsaber and Luke still staring at her blankly, until it starts to get awkward.

Eventually, Luke blinks and snaps out of it, and starts teaching Rey all about merchandising!

Then we find out that Luke's been training tons of Jedi in secret, and that they're in no danger of ever running out, making the title a complete misnomer.

5 hours ago, JJ48 said:

The movie starts with Rey still holding out the lightsaber and Luke still staring at her blankly, until it starts to get awkward.

Eventually, Luke blinks and snaps out of it, and starts teaching Rey all about merchandising!

Then we find out that Luke's been training tons of Jedi in secret, and that they're in no danger of ever running out, making the title a complete misnomer.

It is time for the Jedi to end.....

.....their secrecy and step out into the galaxy as an army of 10,000.

The Resistance are camped out in their base with Finn recovering from his Kylo-induced injuries, when the First Order fleet arrives and stages an orbital blockade and ground assault, leading to the Resistance pilots trying to fight off the First Order's walkers to buy time while the rest of the group escapes. Poe evacuates with Finn, C3PO, BB8 and Leia who run the First Order's blockade but are eventually cornered and captures by Kylo, Hux and co.

Elsewhere, Rey has started training s a Jedi with Luke, who is so old now mixing up words in his sentences he is. Despite their remote undisclosed location, Rey realises her friends are in trouble through her connection to Finn in the Force, and rushes off in the Falcon to help, leaving her training incomplete.

Rey arrives at the rendezvous, and is confronted by Kylo on a precarious ledge, who reveals that her father is Supreme Leader Snoke, who is... John Cavil from the Battlestar Galactica TV Series, who appears and says "all of this has happened before, and will happen again". Rey screams no and falls dramatically off the ledge until she is saved by Chewie (who has rescued the rest of the Resistance heroes) in the Falcon at the last second. The Falcon jumps off to lightspeed as Kylo furiously wrecks shop with his red cross lightsabre. Credits.

On 10/1/2017 at 10:09 PM, Crabbok said:

Sam Witwer shows up and everyone's like "Starkiller?!?!?" and he's like "No, I'm Sam Witwer, and I now use Lightsaber Nunchucks."

The rest of the movie is 1st order troops running from him and him destroying them, chuck norris style.

You mean Crashdown?

Finn gently caressed the cheek of his lover. "Rose, don't ever-"

*whoops, wrong site..... ahem*

Act 1

the finalizer pulls into view. The light from a distant sun is lighting up its upper surface. Slowly a shadow looms over and covers the star destroyer in darkness. It is the sumpremacy. The finalizer begins docking procedures and lands in the immense hanger. cut to the bridge of the finalizer. Hux tells an officer to inform captain phasma they have arrived. We see phasma help a wounded Kylo ren into a shuttle. Hux joins them. The trio take the shuttle to the ultimate destination of snokes throne room. Snoke tells phasma to leave and then begins choking Hux for his failure. Before he can kill Hux Kylo intercedes, prompting snoke to stop choking Hux and violently throw Kylo across the room. He yells at both to get out of his sight. The two escape the room together, with Hux having newfound respect for Kylo, and let's him know as such.

Cut to new resistance base. Finn being rolled out in a Bacta tank. Poe asks how long,med droid replies at least a month. Leia calls Poe away and informs him of a special mission.

cut to Rey, holding out her hand with Luke's old lightsaber in it. " Was there a hand with that?"

luke asked. "Umm no" replies Rey.

Cut to training of Rey, slight break in small scene with chewie so the audience knows a month of time has passed.

End act 1

act 2

cut to snoke studying holo images while Kylo trains against a sith combat droid. Snoke calls Kylo over and shows him what appears to be the resistance base. He tells him to take Hux and a battalion and dispatch the resistance once and for all, or snoke might finally get around to killing them both. Kylo goes down to the hanger to find Hux waiting for him. He tells Hux to load up the finalizer and move out. Hux shows Kylo the tie silencer, saying he dug up some old imperial plans of Vaders fighter and improved upon the design. Kylo surprised, thanks Hux and goes to make sure it's loaded on board the finalizer. He prompts the supremeacys tie factories to begin churning out more of the design.

finn wakes up, meets rose while Poe is gone, implied crush on her. (But we're not certain) Poe comes back. Some awkward comedy between the trio. First order shows up, wrecks house. Surviving resistance members escape to the raddus.

Cut to raddus, Leia informs trio and other top leaders resistance has no funds left. Ask Poe if he found Lando. Poe says no, but found another rich person sympathetic to their cause. Has agreed to meet with them at some major casino.

Kylo informs snoke about success, snoke tells him about casino meeting and trap he has planned. kylo heads for meeting. Snoke contacts Hux and phasma separately and orders them to kill Leia.

Leia arrives at meeting with trio.

luke senses Leia in danger. him, rey and Chewie take the falcon and head for the casino.

End of act 2

act 3

cut to large casino area. Leia and trio meet with Benico del toros character. Meeting goes good until Kylo attempts to arrest them and unmasked phasma shoots Leia in the back. Firefight breaks out, Trio carries Leia back to del toros ship. Luke arrives in time to say goodbye to his sister. Kylo overcome with rage begins destroying the place. Group leaves as more first order ships arrive.

Cut to group returning to raddus to find lando talking with Ackbar on the bridge. Group agrees he should assume command following leias death. Group informed he's been running a mostly legitimate business so the resistance has funding again. Decide to retaliate and bomb first order base. Deploy bombers and fighters. Begin bombardment, supremacy shows up, Kylo ren and his new toy begin blowing up bombers. Rey contacts him with the force saying she'll surrender if he stops. Snoke senses it and agrees. Rey taken captive and up to throne room. Fights and beats Kylo again. Begins to battle snoke, starts losing horribly. Snoke begins monologuing about Rey's origin. Turns out she's a kenobi (obi-wan had a brother who wasn't a Jedi. She is his child. So obi-wan would be her great uncle.)

luke bust through door and slams snoke against his throne. Rey and Luke escape. Poe covers them with his modded x-wing.

Return to raddus. Find out lando got ahold of wedge. He's made a general. Rey has a billion questions. Find quiet room of raddus to commune with force, obi-wants ghost appears and says "hello there".

ROLL CREDITS!!!

On 10/2/2017 at 11:02 PM, JJ48 said:

The movie starts with Rey still holding out the lightsaber and Luke still staring at her blankly, until it starts to get awkward.

Eventually, Luke blinks and snaps out of it, and starts teaching Rey all about merchandising!

Then we find out that Luke's been training tons of Jedi in secret, and that they're in no danger of ever running out, making the title a complete misnomer.

The title wouldn't be a misnomer though because Jedi can mean plural... as in 2,10,20 billion.

@Boom Owl - Rey being a Palpatine is one thing I was wondering about since I saw The Force Awakens.

• This is movie 2 of a 'saga trilogy' - meaning we're due a better look at the archvillain, a 'defeat' and a plot twist.
  • Han doesn't count as a 'defeat' because he was frankly cast as Obiwan/Gandalf in the first movie.
• I'd very much like Rey not to be a Skywalker.
  • Yes, 'chosen one' and all that but it's be nice for the entire fate of the galaxy not to boil down to a family squabble again.
  • We have seen other bloodlines who are scary strong in the force but none that really make you go 'holy beep' to the extent of Sheev Palpatine.
  • Given that the First Order is basically space neo-nazis hiding out in space Argentina (a.k.a. the outer rim) making one of the good guys be the descendant of their idol adds the potential for a lot of dramatic tension.
• Snoke is.....frankly a pretty stupid name. And who is he supposed to be, anyway?
  • I guess it's not much more stupid a name than Sheev!
  • He's not one of the sith from pre-empire days (because rule of two)
  • He must know about sith-esque things if he was 'training' Kylo Ren.
  • As a personal preference, I would make him an Imperial Advisor - because we see them and don't know much about them but they seem like significant people whom palpatine confers with, and we don't see them get killed on screen.
  • What I don't want to see is him be 'more powerful than palpatine' - you can build 'a bigger star destroyer' or even 'a bigger death star' but 'a better emperor' just undermines a lot of the importance of Return of The Jedi; you beat the super-awesome final bad guy? Now face the super-duper-extra-awesome final bad guy that you never heard of until this moment!
  • If I wanted to reinforce palpatine's awesomeness, as a 'twist', I would be tempted to make the bad guy palpatine (yes, I like the Dark Empire series, okay?). Yes, he's dead. So was Obi-wan; it didn't stop him getting more lines after he got killed in the original trilogy than he did before . If Snoke has Darth Psoriasis whispering in his ear, it explains everything from a possibly-force-sensitive person being super-awesome at the force stuff despite not having been the sith or his apprentice, to knowing where hidden bases and resources might be, to the whole 'contingency' thing in Aftermath - blowing up both the empire and the rebellion (okay, it didn't work but the plan was sound) after squirreling away resources makes sense, but if it's a plan you've activated after your death it seems a bit of pointless pettiness unless either you're committed to something larger than yourself (Palpatine wasn't) or you don't see being dead as the end point. Clearing the board is a great move if you think you can come back.
  • Palpatine being Palpatine, remaining a ghost in the shadows seems....a bit pale. I'd like to imagine that he wants back, and as a combination of (1) strongest force sensitive available and (2) a combined 'screw you' to Anakin, Padme and Luke, choosing Ben Solo's body as the vessel he wants to possess would be rather cool.
  • Which creates another interesting situation when he finds out/senses who Rey is and/or she becomes aware of him (think Baron Harkonnen in Children of Dune)

*Opening crawl*

Camera pans down from starfield to Earth-like planet, then cuts to flying cam over the sea and Luke's island.

Cut to first Jedi Temple, and Luke Skywalker and Rey. Luke explains that it was all a mistake - the word "Jedi" was a mistranslation from the Book of Whills, it should have read "Deadeye". He explains that is how he managed to bullseye Womp Rats in his T-16 and eventually shoot down the Death Star, through the power of the Deadeye.

Rey nods in understanding and flies him back to the Raddus, where he meets with Leia and explains that in order to defeat the First Order once and for all, the Resistance needs to procure as many Jumpmaster 5000's as possible while he trains the Resistance Pilots in the ways of the Deadeye.

The film ends with a massive space battle, and Luke and Rey leading the Resistance forces boarding the Supremacy as the JM5K's rout the First Order's TIEs. Phasma and the Knights of Ren surrounds the boarding party, and Snoke congratulates Luke on his insights and finally realising the truth, but explains to him there was one small flaw in his plan...

...Deadeye is small ship only.

Luke screams "Nooooooooooooooooooooo! That's not true! It's not possible!", and we cut back to the space battle, where Kylo is destroying ALL the Resistance Jumpmasters in his Silencer, using the power of the Deadeye, laughing maniacally as he does so.

*Credits*

Rey does have a British accent, so she has to be connected to the Empire somehow, right?

31 minutes ago, JJ48 said:

Rey does have a British accent, so she has to be connected to the Empire somehow, right?

Also shes a rage fueled monster pretty much the entire time.

16 hours ago, JJ48 said:

Rey does have a British accent, so she has to be connected to the Empire somehow, right?

Obi- wan had a similar accent...

43 minutes ago, FlyingAnchors said:

Obi- wan had a similar accent...

Right, and he basically started the Empire, what with being the one to sign for the clone army and all.

3 hours ago, JJ48 said:

Right, and he basically started the Empire, what with being the one to sign for the clone army and all.

No wonder he was always insisting on seeing things "from a certain point of view"...

14 hours ago, FTS Gecko said:

No wonder he was always insisting on seeing things "from a certain point of view"...

Luke: So wait a minute...I get that my dad's training went wrong and he helped the Emperor, but surely he didn't hunt down and kill the Jedi single-handedly. I mean, there were millions of them, right? He'd have needed an unspeakably huge army to-

Ghost Obi-Wan: I said I don't want to talk about it!

On 10/2/2017 at 0:27 PM, Kieransi said:

The movie starts with a Star Destroyer the size of a Death Star moving across the screen. The First Order launches a Probe Droid at an ice planet where the Resistance is hiding. Chewbacca carelessly shoots at it, destroying it but broadcasting their location. An enourmous battle involving invincible walkers ensues. The Resistance flees.

The hyperdrive on the Falcon is broken, and the main cast goes on a haphazard series of misadventures through an asteroid field. They eventually land on a city in the clouds, where they are greeted by an older Lando Calrissian .

Meanwhile, Rey is impatient at the weird old hermit who is impeding her quest to find the famed Jedi, Luke Skywalker . Suddenly, in Luke ’s hut, she hears Han talking to the hermit through the Force and realizes that this hermit is in fact the old Jedi she was looking for. She begins a long series of training exercises, most of which involve carrying Luke around in a backpack.

Meanwhile, Lando betrays the heroes to the First Order. Poe and Finn have a touching scene as Poe is frozen in carbonite. Chewbacca roars. C-3PO is inexplicably disassembled and carried in a backpack by Chewbacca .

Rey runs away from Luke to free Poe and rescue her friends. Arriving too late, she falls into a trap laid by Kylo and they fight a long duel. At the end of the duel, Kylo cuts off her hand and asks her to join him, and reveals absolutely nothing about her parents. Bored, Rey jumps off the cliff.

At the last minute, Rey is rescued by the Falcon . The Resistance flees into the Outer Rim. Just as we think the movie is over, and the heroes are gazing at the Galaxy, a Death Star twice as big as Starkiller Base shows up and destroys half the galaxy. After a 45-minute battle, the Death Star explodes. Scene.

On 10/2/2017 at 2:04 PM, Ghost Mouse said:

Luke tells Rey that Kylo Ren killed her father.

Kylo Ren chops of Rey 's hand ( Lightsaber has an inner monologue of "oh no not again" as it falls from a high cliff/ledge ).

Kylo: " Luke never told you what happened to your father."

Rey : "He told me enough. He told me you killed him."

Kylo: "No. I am your father."

Rey : "That's not true. That's impossible."

Kylo: "Search your feelings you know it to be true."

Rey : "Noooooooooooooooooo. Noooooooooooooo."

At which point Doc Brown slaps his forehead and, with a look of horror on his face, declares: "Great scott!"

Marty looks on in confusion: "This is heavy."

Romulan captain Nero, having survived his ship falling through the black hole, then proceeds to explain how some of the red matter that spilled out of Spocks future ship drifted into the galaxy far far away and opened several black holes. One of these black holes swallowed Ben Solo and sent him back in time where he had a night of lovey dovey kiss kiss bang bang with Rey 's mother. Unfortunately the disruption to the space time continuum causes an imbalance in the Force which resulted in the Force ripping Ben Solo back to the present. Rather than comfort a depressed Ben, Luke tells him that love is forbidden for a Jedi and continues his training. Snoke promises Ben " Unlimited powwwwwwwwaaaaaar ", including the ability to time travel. All Ben has to do is go stark raving bonkers and slaughter all the Jedi.

Rey turns to Luke , who just happens to show up, and says: "if Ben Solo is my father, and Kylo Ren is Ben Solo, then how could Kylo have killed my father?"

Luke shrugs: "what I told you was true. From a certain point of view."

Somewhere in the Force Obi Wan sniggers.

On 10/3/2017 at 5:45 AM, FTS Gecko said:

The Resistance are camped out in their base with Finn recovering from his Kylo-induced injuries, when the First Order fleet arrives and stages an orbital blockade and ground assault, leading to the Resistance pilots trying to fight off the First Order's walkers to buy time while the rest of the group escapes. Poe evacuates with Finn , C3PO , BB8 and Leia who run the First Order's blockade but are eventually cornered and captures by Kylo, Hux and co.

Elsewhere, Rey has started training s a Jedi with Luke , who is so old now mixing up words in his sentences he is. Despite their remote undisclosed location, Rey realises her friends are in trouble through her connection to Finn in the Force, and rushes off in the Falcon to help, leaving her training incomplete.

Rey arrives at the rendezvous, and is confronted by Kylo on a precarious ledge, who reveals that her father is Supreme Leader Snoke, who is... John Cavil from the Battlestar Galactica TV Series, who appears and says "all of this has happened before, and will happen again". Rey screams no and falls dramatically off the ledge until she is saved by Chewie (who has rescued the rest of the Resistance heroes) in the Falcon at the last second. The Falcon jumps off to lightspeed as Kylo furiously wrecks shop with his red cross lightsabre. Credits.

WOW THAT'S SUCH A FUNNY ORIGINAL JOKE

5 minutes ago, Mattman7306 said:

WOW THAT'S SUCH A FUNNY ORIGINAL JOKE

And you don’t think that TLJ is going to try to copy Empire Strikes Back, but bigger?

All I’ve seen for the movie so far are bigger super star destroyers, bigger AT-ATs, Rey and an old-timey Luke hanging out on a hidden world training in the Jedi arts, and a huge battle for a hidden Resistance base on an ice planet, which the Resistance will likely lose because this needs to be a trilogy.