I Just Got Dunked On by My Seven Year Old

By kris40k, in X-Wing Battle Reports

or, How My Daughter Brought Back Fat Han

So, the past few weeks, I have taken to testing out certain lists after I put the kids to bed. On occasion one of my daughters has come down for a drink of warm milk or whatever to see Dad playing X-Wing by himself. She has apparently thought I looked lonely, and wanted to play some X-Wing with me. I've played some simple X-Wing v TIE games with her in the past with minimal cards to keep it simple, like Luke vs. 1 Ace and 1 generic. This time she requested she wanted to play the Millennium Falcon.

Ok, we can do that.

  • Han Solo (pilot) 46pts + Chewbacca (crew) 4 pts + Millennium Falcon (original) 1pts = 51pts

An easy list, very thematic.Chewie just gives her some more hits, she knows how to choose between and Evade and Focus, and Han Solo's ability just replaces Target Lock kinda. She gets all squeely at flying the Falcon with Han and Chewie. I'm a proud geek-dad.

I eyeball some Interceptors that I haven't fielded for awhile, grab

  • Lt. Lorrir at 23pts
  • Turr Phennir at 25

for 48pts total. Lack of AT vs a turret screams in the back of my head, but I don't want to have too many cards out for her to remember. She's seven, as well. I mean, what could go wrong.

I pick three large rocks and three small rocks and we mutually load out the field. Get placed. She sets up center of her side. I set up alternate one on each side, thinking of doing some pincer move.

Round 1: I 5 forward and boost inwards with both ships. She 4 forwards, focuses, and ends up juuuuusssst in range 3 of the Lieutenant, which I did not expect. The LT is naked since he boosted. She rolls Hit, Hit, Focus, spends the token for three, and @ficklegreendice apparently shows up at my house and I friggin blank out on all four of the LT's dice.

She one-shotted half my list on round 1.

Round 2: I 2 forward parking Turr behind a rock for more defense while trying to figure out how I'm going to solo a fullhealth Han Solo with a naked Interceptor. Evade token. She 2 banks away and lands on a big rock. She was trying to avoid it, but needed to do a hard turn instead of a bank. Or ya know, 3 forward instead of 4 forward the turn before when you surprised Daddy with your naked aggression. Anyhoo... rolls safe on the rock, but no action, no shot. Turr takes a shot, lands 1 shield, and rolls closer to avoid the rock I was hiding behind.

Round 3: I have to 1 hard and boost around the big rock in the middle. She 2 banks away, focuses. She takes a shot at me, 2 blanks and a crit. I teach her about Han Solo's pilot ability, she rerolls a hit and two crits. I evade two and take a crit, get a console fire. I shoot back, land a hit on the shields and boost forward (edit: just realized I cheated here) just behind the Falcon.

Round 4: Crap, I forgot that I had the lower PS. I 2 forward and bump, which means no action to clear the console fire. She 2 banks, getting closer to the edge, but not off. We discuss the dangers of flying off the edge. Combat turn starts and console fire triggers, leaving Turr at 1 hull. She fires, and puts another two on him, finishing off this embarrassment.

Afterwards, she is very good about helping me clean up and put everything away. We talk about playing again tomorrow.

And then she runs off to bed screaming to her sisters about how "Daddy just got dunked on."

/sigh

Edited by kris40k

Nicely done!

Maybe give one of the missions a try? They add a simple 'gimmick' (protect the shuttle) to the game without adding umpty-ump new upgrade cards and work well with 'short' 50-odd point lists (since they're designed for the core set).

...And good luck tomorrow.

Great write up! My son is only 1.5, so I need to wait a few more years.

It happens.

I have a 10 year old daughter that has gotten proficient at flying Jake. She thinks it's the funniest thing to watch him boost and barrel all over the place. I specifically don't fly anything with turrets against her, otherwise all that doesn't matter. It's fun.

Good parenting!

The Force is strong with this one! *chhhhht hrrrrk*

If you win, that's good playing on your part! If you lose, that's only because you taught her so well!