I am going to read the Crane fiction again. It seemed to me that her father was just harsh, as was normal in the society that this was based off of. Family issues were not to be talked about with outsiders, so no one else would know.
Her reactions to the family situation seem completely inline with behavior and psychology.
The interactions with the other people, family and friends, do not indicate that she is emo, or any more elitist than a clan champions daughter would be.
She seemed to me that she was focusing more on trying to get the job right, than looking good doing it.
I am going to read it again though.