3 minutes ago, Kinzen said:

Don't feel bad; I was sitting here going "I dunno, would it be weird for me to come in and say YOUUUUUUUUU GUUUUUUUUUUUUYS I've been wanting to tell you about this for months and months and now it's finally live YAY"? :-D

I'm mostly going to stay out of the discussion, so as not to make things weird. But re: the Perfect Land -- yes, it is definitely inspired by the Pure Land (as the name implies), but there are some differences. There had to be, because the history and theology and social context of Shinseism are not the same as the history and theology and social context of Japanese Buddhism; you don't have an equivalent to the elitist Nara schools for this to be a pushback against, Shinseism doesn't have a tradition of atrocious misogyny, etc. So my hope is that the parallel will be visible to those who know the source, but anything we say about the Perfect Land sect is intended as commentary on this sect and how it fits into its setting, not the Pure Land and how it fits into Japan.

You wrote a version of Hitomi I didn't feel an aversion to, for that alone you get a 'standing O'. Well done.

I liked having a different pace. And a borderline creepy Yokuni is pretty cool. Can't wait for him to turn out evil or something.

Evil, hm. You know, when he had his seizure, I felt sorry for him, more than anything else. It was just...kind of...miserable.

Anyway, I'm glad I didn't step on any fingers by pointing to you, Kinzen! I'm also super glad that you get to write more for L5R, because I like what you do and your vision of many things.

Soooooo... The heretical sect of the Dragon Clan is ISIS? That's one surprising turn of events I must say!

Also, what happened to the pine tree? Like, I was reading through the fic, and all I could think of was the real reason the pine tree fell. Did they cut it down to make more weapons for the sect?

5 minutes ago, AtoMaki said:

Soooooo... The heretical sect of the Dragon Clan is ISIS? That's one surprising turn of events I must say!

Also, what happened to the pine tree? Like, I was reading through the fic, and all I could think of was the real reason the pine tree fell. Did they cut it down to make more weapons for the sect?

The tree is still there.

Only the Enlghtened can see the tree

Very nice work. A good start for my favorite Clan.

For those who haven't seen it, this is Togashi Kazue:

https://www.artstation.com/artwork/W9OnD

Given that she's described as having the dangerous and disturbing power of what amounts to mind control: Maybe in this version oh L5R, Kazue is the new "Kokujin". Perhaps she's actually involved with spreading the Perfect Land Sect.

And word on if the tree made a sound when it fell? I was hoping to finally put that age old question to bed....I guess I could just go ask Togashi.

I liked this one quite a bit. I feel bad for the Dragon, like maybe I'll give them a pass when it comes to trying to corrupt them with Shadowlands.........nah.

I wonder if the Unicorn / Dragon alliance might be the beginning of "Handmaiden's Tale" Rokugan edition. With so many strong female characters in the story me thinks they wouldn't stand for that crap.

I have to admit I was half expecting Hotaru to show up and kill someone. I had my phone ready to be thrown just in case.

16 minutes ago, Togashi Gao Shan said:

Very nice work. A good start for my favorite Clan.

For those who haven't seen it, this is Togashi Kazue:

https://www.artstation.com/artwork/W9OnD

Given that she's described as having the dangerous and disturbing power of what amounts to mind control: Maybe in this version oh L5R, Kazue is the new "Kokujin". Perhaps she's actually involved with spreading the Perfect Land Sect.

That could be fun. Something different than the 'skinner' idea

I love the Perfect Land Sect - I think they are a great contrasting philosophy for Samurai, and especially the introspective Dragon Clan. Samurai are all about improvement, skill, and excellence. Having a religion based on none of that directly flies in the face of everything Samurai stand for! A few uttered words and a peasant can gain the same nirvana as a Samurai who's family has served the empire with honor for a thousand years... It's blasphemy!

I also love that the Phoenix have already done away with the sect through force. I feel this is appropriate for the Phoenix who are essentially under their own spiritual rule which supersedes even the place of the kami as the head of the clan. That one line considers the power and beliefs of the Phoenix without even reading their story yet.

The affliction of low birth rates also fits well for the clan which features it's primary family entirely filled with monks. I'm not certain that they are celibate, but we don't typically assume monks aren't... and this makes me think it's fitting because on 1 hand they are saying "guys, we have a low birth rate" but on the other hand 1 of the families doesn't even try to contribute! haha. Do they really have a low birth rate? Or does this illustrate some of the flawed logic of the Togashi family? I think this also mirrors the possible "Togashi is Togashi" problem. If Togashi is Togashi, could the very act of him NOT stepping down be causing the blights they face? Are the other clans stronger and more prosperous because they have the blood of the kami in their veins, where Togashi withholds this from the Dragon? Sure, the tattoos help, but there is no lineage spreading from Togashi the Kami to strengthen the family lines.

10 minutes ago, Ishi Tonu said:

I wonder if the Unicorn / Dragon alliance might be the beginning of "Handmaiden's Tale" Rokugan edition. With so many strong female characters in the story me thinks they wouldn't stand for that crap.

They mention widows AND widowers, so I think if it's handmaidens tale it at least for the l5r "both genders are equal" treatment. Not to mention that I can't imagine the unicorn women being submissive like that. (The otaku men maybe.)

I think it's more intended that they want people who already have children that can be raised as dragon clan.

2 hours ago, JJ48 said:

Also, does anyone know what castle/city is depicted at the top of page 3? I love how the towers look like pines on the mountain!

I do not know which city or castle that is.

However, I strongly suspect that the pics of the villages/castles/towns presented in the story will be used for the card artwork for Provinces that will be part of the Dynadty cards.... imo.

2 minutes ago, profparm said:

They mention widows AND widowers, so I think if it's handmaidens tale it at least for the l5r "both genders are equal" treatment. Not to mention that I can't imagine the unicorn women being submissive like that. (The otaku men maybe.)

I think it's more intended that they want people who already have children that can be raised as dragon clan.

I'm not sure about "Handmaiden's Tale" since I haven't looked into that... But I got the feeling they meant they were seeking people who already had children to be gained by the Dragon clan through marriage, since they aren't as successful in that pursuit themselves.

This is fiction has so far given me the best feeling for the clan without just spilling it out. With the description of the tattoos to the child being hit and the ramifications to the way the guy was describing the clan's problems I got a great feel for the world that is being built. Though the only turnoff was the use of "hai, dude-ue". I never cared for random foreign words when there is an English/whatever language the rest of the fiction is in.

1 hour ago, WHW said:

By the way, RPG people should be very happy about the fact that this author is "in" - it's the person who wrote the Togashi Dynasty for Imperial Histories, and wrote some of the best parts of the final RPG books in general.

WHAT!? Kinzen is the one writing the Dragon fiction?

If that's the case, I can't wait to get home and read it as fast as possible. There is no surprise then in the fact that everybody is going crazy about how good this piece of fiction is! She is an amazing author. I think its safe to say that we, the Dragon Clan fans, can relax. We are in great hands.

(I very much recommend people go read her novels, too. They are great.)

EDIT: And I see she already posted here. So, that teaches me to not post before reading the entire thread first!

The Crane were barely mentioned so worst story ever!

Seriously this was an interesting story that gave a look at the troubles with the Dragon Clan. I really like that this one didn't have any fighting in it.

I'm hoping that the visions are nothing more than a large push by the shadowlands and not a prelude to a Second Day of Thunder or a clan war. I'm still not seeing anything that makes me think this won't be a repeat of what we've seen before with minor changes.

I've read the story three times now. The best piece of writing so far.

Lastly, I'll admit the following: I actually had tears in my eyes at the end of the read as I totally envisioned what was transpiring in our lands.....I'm definitely at home with the Dragon. ?

After reading this story I feel set in my decision to join the Dragon Clan with their not being Mantis Clan in the core. The Dragon Clan is very intriguing to me, and this story makes me feel the mystery and mysticism that seems integral to the story of the Dragon.

1 hour ago, Kuni Katsuyoshi said:

That could be fun. Something different than the 'skinner' idea

She even has slightly "creepier" looking tattoos. The shadowy look to them reminds me of both Kokujin and his disciples, and the 'shadow brands' the Scorpion use(d).

Why does Rokugan need freedom of religion? The Emperor is literally a divine power.

It is interesting that they would start going down this route, to the extent of wondering if they are going to remove the "Absolute Power" of the Kami from the old story. Maybe the Kami will interfere less, but with Fu Leng it feels less likely.

I see a few ways that this heretical sect evolves.

1) Some 'evil' is behind it, spreading lies.

• Could be someone fomenting discontent (Kolat, Power Hungry Dude, Shadowlands)
• Could be a group of peasants who are spreading lies or misconceptions to the general populace to attempt to gain equality.

2) The evidence of reincarnation is not as obvious as it was in the previous incarnation, and therefore the certainty of celestial cycle is up in question.

I say this because, in general, the standard peasant is not up to questioning the accepted facts of life, especially in the oppressive culture that is the Feudal system. However, once exposed to something this simple, it would make sense for them to adopt it.

The general consensus appears to be that this fiction is a serious step up from the previous two. I'll add my vote to that. Excellent all the way around.

I fully expected that Yokuni would not be a POV character, and was not disappointed. That leaves open the question of whether or not he's the kami Togashi. I saw evidence both for and against (and again, credit to the author on that. The ambiguity was, I'm sure, deliberate.) On the one hand, we have Mitsu as the heir apparent, which argues at least for the possession mechanism from AEG's retcon. On the other hand, Yokuni's face and body are hidden, so maybe the heir's are... otherwise disposed of (seems cruel, but maybe there's something nicer involved.) The vision bit could go either way. Could be a vision from the Kami, or could be how Togashi sees the future.

On to Hitomi. I'm going to miss Lady Moon The sheer unfocused rage that defined her in AEG's timeline is, at least so far, missing. It can make for a character with more depth and interest, and is probably a good move. And I'm still going to miss her. There was something appealing in her craziness, and honestly I somewhat enjoyed the sheer length those of us who liked her would have to go through to justify her actions. So, all around improvement here, still causing me some nostalgia.

Now to the vision. Appropriately oracular, in that you can interpret it in any of a number of ways. An attack, or a disaster, that will leave their foes revealed, so they have to let it happen and try to catch the foes afterwards. I'm still going for a coup setup, especially since he mentioned it enveloping Otosan Uchi specifically. Again, I see this as a good thing, since I think that was a great story and am looking forward to their variations on it. But there's more than enough room in the vision for other interpretations. This time around, it appears that Togashi is not egging them on...

1 hour ago, AtoMaki said:

Soooooo... The heretical sect of the Dragon Clan is ISIS? That's one surprising turn of events I must say!

Also, what happened to the pine tree? Like, I was reading through the fic, and all I could think of was the real reason the pine tree fell. Did they cut it down to make more weapons for the sect?

Ugh. Don't bring Daesh ('ISIS') into this, please. The Perfect Land Sect is based on the real-world sect of Bhuddism known as "The Pure Land Sect".

24 minutes ago, Yoritomo Kazuto said:

After reading this story I feel set in my decision to join the Dragon Clan with their not being Mantis Clan in the core. The Dragon Clan is very intriguing to me, and this story makes me feel the mystery and mysticism that seems integral to the story of the Dragon.

I get you. I was wondering what clan I'm going to root for in Nu5R, and while I started with Lion, I'm not sure if I like where they are going and I'm not that big of a fan of swarming aggro. Voltron-Style Dragon is something I'm going to like, because I enjoy big personalities loaded up with 254245234 attachments. But I never liked the story direction Dragon had, so I was kind of meh on that. But this is a Dragon I might enjoy both story wise and gameplay wise.

Only thing left is to give me an alternative to niten in-dragon, because I think it looks meh

3 hours ago, JJ48 said:

Also, does anyone know what castle/city is depicted at the top of page 3? I love how the towers look like pines on the mountain!

That is The High House of Light. As the story states, it is both a monastery of sorts, and a fortress. Also, the path to get to it is nearly impossible to find if the Dragon Champion does not want to find it.

1 minute ago, Togashi Gao Shan said:

That is The High House of Light. As the story states, it is both a monastery of sorts, and a fortress. Also, the path to get to it is nearly impossible to find if the Dragon Champion does not want to find it.

I think the point is not that it is a fortress, just easily defended because its such an inconvenience. Fortress implies the things they say it doesn't have, walls, guard towers, etc.

It's crazy the different interpretations people have of stories. When I read the interaction of Masashige and the child, I took it as he was solely concerned for her safety as she is someone who could potentially bear children.

"M asashige would have sacrificed a dozen horses to save this child’s life. Whatever issue
plagued the Dragon, whatever offense they had given to the Fortune of Fertility, it only affected people , not the animals of their lands. Horses and wolves and bears thrived, while humans dwindled with every passing year. The problem had crept up on them for a century or more, before the sharp minds of the Kitsuki family noticed it; by now, it was undeniable. The Dragon were not having enough children."