Qui gon and Alyssa were back to back - facing a small army of pirates. Lightsabers ignited they knew they could depend on each other. They also had begun to develop deeper feelings for one another. This bond made them even stronger when working together. They would need that strength now.

The pirates had now surrounded them completely. Alyssa's body was pressed up firmly against qui gon, her gaze straight ahead, but her mind on the living force.

Then there was a bizarre disturbance.... both Qui-Gon and Alyssa both farted at the exact same time. Such that the heat and vibration were felt across both butts. Neither realized that the other had also farted, so each felt embarrassed.

Continue the story....

Is that something Lucas wanted to put into episode one?

"Surounds us, and binds us, the force does." said Master Yoda as he landed in the middle of a large group of pirates. "Surounds us, the stench of your farts does aswell" Quipped the old Jedi master, effortlessly slicing another pirate in half with his lightsaber. "I tought snarkyness was not a trait encouraged by the Jedi, Master." Said Qui-gon. "Speak like I always have, I shall. hmmm." Answerd Yoda. "Yes, Call it as I see it, I do. Now quit rubbing your asses and fight you two must!"

So Qui-Gon and Alyassa both attacked in earnest, slicing 3 pirates in in half each in one swing.

Yoda criticized the angle of their blades as they swung, saying, "The approach you must be careful of, hmmm, angle your blades correctly you must."

Qui-Gon stared dumbfounded.

Alyssa remembered an old lesson.

"The angle of the dangle is in virtual proportion to the heat of the beat" she cited.

A smiling Yoda nodded in approval.

The last pirate knew that she must be the toughest, since she was the last. She pulled out a remote with a big red button.

She pressed it, but all it did was make a loud bang and then seemed to turn to ashes.

"Whew!", said Kee (look it up), I was worried that that might have been a stink bomb.

"It was, said a nearby onlooker (named Soo, he had had a bad day, in fact, he just lost a game of sabacc to a smelly ithorian), it very much was."