...You May Be a <Insert Clan>

By JJ48, in Legend of the Five Rings: The Card Game

38 minutes ago, Huitzil37 said:

Movie edition!

If you think Aliens is a cautionary tale about the importance of proper reconnaissance, you might be a Crab.

If you think Mean Girls has a tragic downfall ending, you might be a Crane.

If you have any opinion about Koyaanisqatsi other than "That was weird", you might be a Dragon.

If you think the ending of Scarface "came out of nowhere", you might be a Mantis.

If you think "Orange Is the New Black" sounds like an accurate title for your clan's secrets...you may be a Phoenix.

(Does anyone else have a tendency to slip into a Southern US accent as they read these?)

Edited by JJ48
5 hours ago, BlindSamurai13 said:

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Wouldn't Twilight be an Imperial, because Alicorn.

Also, If you pronounce 'Hello' as 'Jade Strike' you might be a Crab.

57 minutes ago, shineyorkboy said:

Wouldn't Twilight be an Imperial, because Alicorn.

Maybe. (Image was made before Twilight was an Alicorn.)

26 minutes ago, RandomJC said:

Maybe. (Image was made before Twilight was an Alicorn.)

Twilight is a Unicorn and later royalty...

So in essence she is like Moto Chagatai, just a bit more successful.

I like the idea of Twilight being the Khan!

If you like hiding during black outs or pooping with the lights off you might be a Scorpion. lol

If your first response when something doesn't work right is "Hit it!"

"Hit it harder!!!"

You might be a Crab.

If you can only move sideways, you might be a Crab.

If your personal hero is Zoidberg, you might be a Crab.

If every anniversary is the Jade Anniversary for you and your spouse...you may be a Crab.

If oni tell their children stories about you to get them to behave...you may be a Crab.

If you have muscles on your eyeballs...well, then you're probably a Spongebob character. But if you're not...you may be a Crab.

If you only duel on sunny days so that the rain doesn't mess up your hair...you may be a Crane.

If you try to discredit the Phoenix courtier by pointing out that her outfit is so last year...you may be a Crane.

If your quartermaster's number one priority is to ensure that the army has enough combs and mirrors...you may be a Crane.

If you subconsciously translate the game's title to, "Legend of Enlightenment"...you may be a Dragon.

If you require someone else to explain your own proverbs back to you...you may be a Dragon.

If your tattoos used more ink than a Scorpion's kimono used cloth...you may be a Dragon.

If your enemies try to distract you during battle with laser pointers, and it works...you may be a Lion.

If you regularly forget your wife's birthday, but can quote the entirety of Akodo's Leadership, word-for-word, from memory...you may be a Lion.

If your "small raiding party" consists of more troops than most clans' entire armies...you may be a Lion.

If you insist on fighting duels next to a Koi pond so that you can gain naval advantage...you may be a Mantis.

If you complain about how horrible the economy is because you can only afford to buy half a large town with your pocket change...you may be a Mantis.

If you snicker at the Spider because when you threatened to betray the other clans, they actually rewarded you for it...you may be a Mantis.

You walk into a job resource center:

Dragon: No hair, No shirt, No shoes & tattoos? Your hired.

Lion: You belong in a zoo? Your hired.

Scorpion: You look like you belong in mortal kombat 2? Your hired.

Crane: Your more beautiful than Lucy Liu? Your hired.

Unicorn: Your horse has a Fu Manchu? Your hired.

Crab: Your personality is like an angry shrew? Your hired.

Phoenix: You want to see Big Bird on fire too? Your hired.

Mantis: Sponge Bobs got nothing on you? Your hired.

Spider: You think the whole world smells like poo? Your hired.

If you played Night's Watch in A GOT you might be a Crab player.

If you killed an Emperor and threw the Empire into turmoil and are hated for it, you could be a Spider.

If you killed an Emperor and threw the Empire into turmoil and are respected for it, you could be a Scorpion.

If you wish to kill off a clan of peace-loving marriage counselors, you could be a Lion.

If you tried to kill of said peace-loving marriage counselors more than once, your definitely a Lion.

2 hours ago, SlackerHacker said:

If you played Night's Watch in A GOT you might be a Crab player.

No if you look at the Nights Watch's Wall and think that's cute, you might be Crab.

If you look at the Night's Watch and think 'They're celibate? How do they replace their loses?'... you might be a Crab.