Rebel player when digging in your box for your squad.... "Blast it Biggs, where are you...."

Right after getting a kill with Darth Vader and taking the game advantage... "I HAVE YOU NOW...."

Destroying the 2nd to last imperial ship with a YT-`1300.... "WHooooo HOOOOO, now let's blow this thing and go home!!"

Missing all your dice attack rolls with every ship "the force is strong with this one...."

Getting curb stomped in x-wing as a new player.... "Its unwise to upset a wookie...."

Greeting a new player to your table.. "we're all fine up here.....how are you?"

Destroying numerous enemies with Kyle during a mission to get an objective "this is to easy...."

When a player calls you a cheat or other expletive for using the current OP meta "How rude!"

When an observer tries to give you advice on where to fly " I've just about had enough of you. Go that way. "

When someone asks you to fly x-wings besides Biggs.... " I can assure you they will never get me onto one of those dreadful starships. "

Going up against Trifendes x7s with a random team.... "I have a bad feeling about this?"

Flying any ship without a 0 stop "We break for nobody..."

Im sure you can come up with more....

Every single time you move a ship: "Now THIS is pod-racing!!"

When your opponent is suffering from analysis paralysis while they try to decide on an action: "Try spinning. That's a good move!"

When you accidentally brush your hand along your opponent's cheek: "Your soft, not like sand. I hate sand."

At the start of each and every activation phase: "This is where the fun begins."

When your opponent tells you that you are wrong about a rule: "From MY perspective the Jedi are evil!!!!"

When your opponent realizes you have no clothes on: "What do you mean I'm naked? My circuits are showing? Oh my!"

When your opponent is taking a restroom break and you want to follow them in: "Me-sa come wiff you!"

When you lean over your opponent's shoulder at the urinals between rounds: "Look at the size of that thing!"

When your opponent is choking on their Slim-Jim (TM): "Do not choke on your aspirations."

When you drop a Conner Net on something: "Good. OurFirstCatchoftheDay!!!"

When your opponent rolls all arrows like a turd: "It's a hit. Negative...it just impacted on the surface..."

When you shuffle your opponent's damage deck when they offer you a cut: "I am altering the deal. Pray I do not alter it any further."

When your opponent is going to throw a cup or food wrapper away, and you push the garbage can over: "Shut down ALL the trash compactors on this level!"

When your opponent stares in shock and disbelief after you sneak a kiss from them while you are both leaned over looking at a near-bump manevuer: "You like me because I'm a scoundrel."

When your opponent is having a hard time getting up out of their chair: "Would it help if I got out and pushed?"

When your opponent visits your floating tibianna gas mining facility: "You belong here with me among the clouds."

When your opponent asks you to move their ship on your side of the board for them, and you steal their acrylic range ruler: "MINE! Or I will help you not!"

When your in the process of intentionally dropping your cup of soda all over another game's table: "I've got a problem here... no it's all right I can hold it.... ARRRRRGGGHH!" (as soda is thrown onto their mat)

While you are shaking your dice for three and half minutes before each and every time you roll them: "I am one with the Force and the Force is with me. I am one with the Force and the Force is with me. I am one with the Force and the Force is with me. I am one with .... (cont.)"

When your opponent tells you good game after you lose to some BS dice: "I'll see you in hell!"

When you win after some BS good dice: "In my experience, there is no such thing as luck."

After you beat an opponent wearing a religious T-Shirt: "Your sad devotion to that ancient religion has not helped you..."





All of these have come in very handy for me over the years, and everyone gets a hoot out of them. The trick is to do them each and every time you possibly can, to really make sure everyone is forced to confront how witty you are and how you can remember things you've watched.

Im sorry wings, I cant laugh at most of those....they are prequel jokes, thus before my time....

5 minutes ago, Zeoinx said:

Im sorry wings, I cant laugh at most of those....they are prequel jokes, thus before my time....

Your powers are weak, old man.

2 minutes ago, AllWingsStandyingBy said:

Your powers are weak, old man.

you're going to find that many of the truths we cling to depend greatly on our own point of view.

When your opponent's ship doesn't move because it bumps *sarcastic yoda voice* "Aw, cannot get your ship out!"

When your opponent executes 5 straight maneuver "At that speed will you be able to pull out in time!?"

When you attack with 4 dice using Expose on Rear Admiral Chirpy "Now witness the firepower of this fully armed and operational battle station!"

When your opponent blanks out on an attack roll "Oh I assure you, we are quite safe from your pitiful little band"

Whenever you use C-3PO *wave arms frantically in the air* "Ohhh!" *in C-3PO voice*

The Imperial March when ever you place the Raider on the board.

When something unexpected happens I find the Vader "WHAT?!" accompanied with a body (rather than neck) turn highly amusing (like most of my jokes).

8 minutes ago, KommanderKeldoth said:

When your opponent's ship doesn't move because it bumps *sarcastic yoda voice* "Aw, cannot get your ship out!"

When your opponent executes 5 straight maneuver "At that speed will you be able to pull out in time!?"

When you attack with 4 dice using Expose on Rear Admiral Chirpy "Now witness the firepower of this fully armed and operational battle station!"

When your opponent blanks out on an attack roll "Oh I assure you, we are quite safe from your pitiful little band"

Whenever you use C-3PO *wave arms frantically in the air* "Ohhh!" *in C-3PO voice*

Adding to my repertoire. Hilarious.

1 hour ago, AllWingsStandyingBy said:

Every single time you move a ship: "Now THIS is pod-racing!!"

When your opponent is suffering from analysis paralysis while they try to decide on an action: "Try spinning. That's a good move!"

When you accidentally brush your hand along your opponent's cheek: "Your soft, not like sand. I hate sand."

At the start of each and every activation phase: "This is where the fun begins."

When your opponent tells you that you are wrong about a rule: "From MY perspective the Jedi are evil!!!!"

When your opponent realizes you have no clothes on: "What do you mean I'm naked? My circuits are showing? Oh my!"

When your opponent is taking a restroom break and you want to follow them in: "Me-sa come wiff you!"

When you lean over your opponent's shoulder at the urinals between rounds: "Look at the size of that thing!"

When your opponent is choking on their Slim-Jim (TM): "Do not choke on your aspirations."

When you drop a Conner Net on something: "Good. OurFirstCatchoftheDay!!!"

When your opponent rolls all arrows like a turd: "It's a hit. Negative...it just impacted on the surface..."

When you shuffle your opponent's damage deck when they offer you a cut: "I am altering the deal. Pray I do not alter it any further."

When your opponent is going to throw a cup or food wrapper away, and you push the garbage can over: "Shut down ALL the trash compactors on this level!"

When your opponent stares in shock and disbelief after you sneak a kiss from them while you are both leaned over looking at a near-bump manevuer: "You like me because I'm a scoundrel."

When your opponent is having a hard time getting up out of their chair: "Would it help if I got out and pushed?"

When your opponent visits your floating tibianna gas mining facility: "You belong here with me among the clouds."

When your opponent asks you to move their ship on your side of the board for them, and you steal their acrylic range ruler: "MINE! Or I will help you not!"

When your in the process of intentionally dropping your cup of soda all over another game's table: "I've got a problem here... no it's all right I can hold it.... ARRRRRGGGHH!" (as soda is thrown onto their mat)

While you are shaking your dice for three and half minutes before each and every time you roll them: "I am one with the Force and the Force is with me. I am one with the Force and the Force is with me. I am one with the Force and the Force is with me. I am one with .... (cont.)"

When your opponent tells you good game after you lose to some BS dice: "I'll see you in hell!"

When you win after some BS good dice: "In my experience, there is no such thing as luck."

After you beat an opponent wearing a religious T-Shirt: "Your sad devotion to that ancient religion has not helped you..."





All of these have come in very handy for me over the years, and everyone gets a hoot out of them. The trick is to do them each and every time you possibly can, to really make sure everyone is forced to confront how witty you are and how you can remember things you've watched.

Wow. Your X-Wing gaming experience has been vastly different, and more.... intimate... than mine.

But while I'm here, might as well add one of my own:

When your opponent tries to correct your understanding of a rule: " You will find that it is you who are mistaken... about a great many things."

When your opponent deploys a hardcore meta list across from you "I fear nothing...all is as the force wills it".

When your opponent places a Ghost across from you - "look at the size of that thing."

When your opponent deploys a mine directly in front of your fragile ace - "It's a trap!"

When your opponent tries to move one of your ships - "You will not take her from me!"

Whenever you overlap a debris with a collision detector equipped ship - "Asteroids do not concern me."

Whenever an opponent curses loudly (especially when there are children in the room) - "Goooood. Use your anger."

When you bump a ship, irrevocably changing its orientation - "Oh noes! Meesa fix it." (then bump another ship intentionally)

Before you make an attack with a T-65 X-wing "Set S-foils to attack position."

After you make an attack with a T-65 X-wing - "Set S-foils to closed position"

When someone accuses you of cheating (especially at a large tournament) - "Perhaps you'd like to discuss this with the Hutts? *gesture to TO* I'm sure they would be happy to help."

When you break an opponent's ship - "Meesa sorry. It was an accidente." (Then break another intentionally)

When your opponent rolls more than 4 hits during an attack "Our fighters can't repel firepower of that magnitude."

Whenever you talk, except to make a movie quote, speak as Yoda does
-"Forward 4, Jake Farrell will move"
-"No, execute not 3 bank did Han a move make. A Segnors' Three declared I have!"

Whenever you destroy a ship - "just like bullseying wamprats back home" (preferably in a southern drawl).

When your opponent needs the exact number of natural evade results as they have remaining health:

"Sir, the possibility of successfully rolling x natural evade results is approximately 3,720 to 1..."

Pilot specific: "Good shot, Janson!"

When flipping your first dial: "Attack Pattern Delta. Go now!"

After your opponent executes a barrel roll: "Try spinning. That's a good move."

My nickname is wookiee, so I typically just go with making wookiee noises and throwing my hands up in the air.

And ripping people's arms off when I lose.

When you k-turn against a swarm and Corran aces two ties in one round.

"Looking for someone? Found someone you have!"

When your imperial raider with tarkin crew can fire all its weapons on one poor, unlucky ship: "you may fire when ready"

when your ship survives your opponent's entire squadron firing at it with minimal health: "blast, this is why I hate flying"

when someone doesn't think your non-meta list will do well: "you underestimate my power!"

when your opponent successfully guesses your maneuvers 3+ turns in a row: "I can't shake 'em"

when you only damage your ships with bombs (happened to me once, it pretty much gave my opponent the win): "put that thing away, you're gonna get us all killed!"

My favorite is when we get distracted from playing and it's my opponent's turn to shoot a ship. I'll say, "You may fire when ready."

These are all great....my two cents:

When your opponent is vacillating on setting one dial and keeps looking at you grasping it, eyes narrowing; simply lean in slowly and exclaim --from the back of your mouth-- in your best Acbar accent, "it's a trap!"

....or, when you cant get paint on three or more evade dice, just whine, "what a piece of junk!"

When your opponent is about to "Boba Fett" your R2D2...."These aren't the droids youre looking for"

After referring to your opponent as the next victim. His response, will you stop calling me that.... "Sure...Leia"

When you blatantly cheat and your opponent calls the TO over...NO TIME TO DISCUSS THIS AS A COMMITTEE!

When your opponent enables his C3PO and guesses aloud...Im not really interested in your opinion 3PO

When your opponent silently rips one and tries to blame it on the guy at the next table...Listen, Big Deal. You got another problem. Women always figure out the truth. Always.

When you first set down your ships... "Phaser banks at full, shields at 100%." or "Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated."

When your pilot has to punch out: "Do you know the old Klingon proverb that revenge is a dish best served cold? It is very cold... in space."

When you blow up one of their ships: "Oh, I've done far worse than kill you. I've hurt you. And I intend to go on hurting you."

If someone makes a bad play, just quirk an eyebrow up: "Highly illogical."

If they set down a Jumpmaster or Falcon or Decimator: "That ship should be hauling garbage. Oh, I'm sorry, I meant to say it should be hauled away as garbage !"

To every rebel player: "You rebel scum!"

Fly off the board and shout

annnnniiieee

So when your opponent is playing rebels and you are attacking with omega leader,

" All remaining systems will bow to the First Order and will remember this as the last day of the Republic!"

When you do something really stupid,

"I won't have you question my methods" or "My men are exceptionally trained. Programmed from birth