I figure this is a funny way to stop Ben from destroying the forums. With all this venting and squad hating and trolling, it's time for something a bit more light hearted and actually Armada related. I present to you a challenge. To make it more interesting, try to incorporate one of the following story line components:

• A man/women who you are trying to impress but when you invite them over, they find your Armada cache
• An intervention with your family who is concerned about all the money you spent on Armada
• You are angry because your squadronless list lost every game at regionals and your spouse asks what is wrong
• Your child asked why you quit your job
• Telling all your friends why you are moving to Roseville, MN (FFG HQ)
• Your boss asks you are need to take off for 4 days in May to fly to Minnesota (Armada Worlds Tournament)

Feel free to make your own up, so long as it is appropriate.

Now...

The company I work for has an office 8.1 miles away from FFG's headquarters. I could transfer there.

The bad part is that my wife is not a cold weather type of person.

FFG basically owns most of my free cash anyway, between Imperial Assault, Descent, X-Wing, Armada, all the Star Wars RPG books, most of the Warhammer Fantasy RPG books, Rebellion, Talisman, Fury of Dracula, etc. Sheesh!

"What's that?"

"A star destroyer."

"What's that?"

"Ummm also a star destroyer."

"What are these four over here?"

"Different kinds of star destroyer."

"How many star destroyers do you need?"

"Mmm... all of them?"

"Did you pay our rent yet?"

*Adjusts Imperial cap*

"I got into this game because I could finally indulge that longstanding fantasy of standing on my capital ship bridge, unleashing a sea of Turbolaser fire, and watching all that is against me die before the prow of my majestic vessel.

Now? Those pesky Rebel rock stars with their smallcraft and that one Nebulon-B ship are making a mockery of the expense put into my warships. It's insulting that my ships severely out-mass these gnats but are even more helpless then they are to the hundreds of guns on my warship. Why is that? Zombie pilots with significant ability make my shields vanish and my hull degrade, regardless of what equipment I've given my warships. Why?"

"...it's just plastic spaceships on a table, babe."

Two weeks before Worlds last year, in the Emergency Room:

Orthopedic surgeon: Yes, you've fractured your fibula at the lateral malleolus. We're going to have to operate tomorrow."

Me, starting to panic: "Oh. Ummm, how long is the recovery going to be?"

Surgeon: "Well you have to be off your foot for 4-6 weeks at least, so no work for a while as you'll be on pain meds."

Me, really getting worried: "Oh, ok. That's fine. But do you think I could get on a plane by myself for four hours, say to Minnesota, in about two weeks?"

Surgeon: "Hmmmm......probably. We might have to put you on aspirin to prevent a DVT..."

Me (vastly relieved and smiling): "Ohthankgod"

Surgeon: "Can I ask why?"

Me: "Oh...ummm, no reason."

"Did you pay our rent yet?"

Of course I did, baby... Uhhh, on a completely unrelated note, you should probably keep a small bag packed with some of your clothes and essentials... you know, in case we wanna go on a quick vacation or something."

"What's that?"

"A star destroyer."

"What's that?"

"Ummm also a star destroyer."

"What are these four over here?"

"Different kinds of star destroyer."

"How many star destroyers do you need?"

"Mmm... all of them?"

"Did you pay our rent yet?"

My fiancée and I have this conversation all the time.

Here's her contribution:

"Babe I'm stressed about money"

"Me too, look at all the new Star destroyers I got."

Similar to Maturin's.

February 2016

Mrs Ard walks out of the bathroom beaming. "I've got some news!!"

Ard starts counting months in his head. "DAMMIT!

"I mean.. YEAH!!

"...But also, kind of dammit!"

Wave one dropped the same day as my daughter. It was a joyful time, but there was a very real part of me that was pissed I couldn't play with my new toys for a couple weeks.

"Why do you have all these Star Wars toys? You're a grown man for God's sake!"
"Umm... You know my little boy's on the way and you cant start collecting games for him soon enough. By the way did you see my 1/43 Formula One car collection? I have 150 of those..."

I asked for an Interdictor for Christmas. My fiancé bought and returned a VSD and an ISD before I had to directly point out which one I meant.

"But they all look the same. They're grey triangles".

Can't argue with that really.

I own a Star Destroyer!

"that's great, Matt."

I have all my ships (to wave 4) in SirWillibald's tuckboxes as it massively reduces the space the collection takes up. Wife's comments:

- You're building cardboard boxes again... I've never seen you devote as much time to anything as you do to them. If you spent as much time on me as you do on building those boxes...

- Why are you building more cardboard boxes - Does that mean you've bought more ships?! (no the boxes for Wave 4 were just released so I could honestly say that they were for ships I bought months ago - let's not mention wave 5!)

- So you're watching your children's cartoons again? Oh look it's even made by Disney! (Mainly Rebels but also Clone Wars)

I have had to explain to multiple nurses and to the mandatory psych evaluator preciscely what my blog is actually about.

I Use this hobby to get out of awkward conversations about mine and my girlfreinds future together

Her: "So when do you want kids by then, how long before you ask me to marry you"

Me: Sweats profusely in a panic, then pulls out Nebulon B frigate and wave it around a bit.

Her: goes back to watching tv with a slightly annoyed look on her face

Me: to the ship "Well done Pride of the Republic"

Tonight's the night.

And it's going to happen again and again.

Needs to happen.

Mantua is a great town.

I love the Italian food.

Chicken Alfredo- My favorite.

But I'm hungry for something different now....

There he is... my opponent.

He's the one.

....


[[Round 4:]]

"You're mine now... so do exactly as I say".

"What do you want?"

"I want you to be quiet... Now play"

"You have to listen... do what I say"

"Look"

"No"

"Uh, yes..."

"No, no!"

"It's horrible, isn't it? Isn't it?"

"Please!"

"Open your eyes and look at what you did!"

"Look or I'll flip your models right on the floor."

"It took me a long time to get this pulse tap set up"

"You maneuvered so well the plan was falling apart"

"I pulled the bits and pieces together just in time...."

"Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is-"

"STOP! That never helped anybody."

"Please you can have anything!"

"That's good, BEG!"

"Did my star destroyer beg?!"

"I couldn't help myself"

"I couldn't"

"I--- Please you have to understand!"

"Trust me, I definitely understand..."

"See, I can't help myself either..."

"Rieekan Aces? I could never do that..."

"Not like you..."

"Never, ever, Rieekan..."

"Why?"

"I have standards"

"Soon your fleet will be neatly packed into a few nicely wrapped Feldherr cases and my own small corner of the world will be a neater, happier place..."

"A better place..."

[[Outside the mental patients room, two doctors speak]]

"He's been pushing around those plastic ships on the floor by himself for 2 hours now..."

"Apparently his local gaming group dried up and he went insane from never getting to play..."

I go down to the basement and beat myself weekly.

1 hour ago, Stasy said:

I go down to the basement and beat myself weekly.

That's ok, I know a couple people that go down to the basement and beat themselves every a day, sometimes multiple times a day.

"Yeah, [girlfriend], I write a blog now."

"What's it about?"

".....about how @Snipafist and I are trying to make people better at plastic spaceships. No, we have a bunch of readers, I swear! People really like us, we're a thing!!"

"Alright."

BUT IT WASN'T ALRIGHT! Nah, jk, she knows it makes me happy.

1 hour ago, Stasy said:

I go down to the basement and beat myself weekly.

Hell, you're too considerate, I just go right ahead and beat myself in the living room. It's gotten where I do it so much it now takes two hands just to straighten my man tool.

Me: "I'm going to play Star Wars tonight"

Students: "Battlefront?"

Me: "No, more spaceships"

Students: "Lego Star Wars?"

Me: "No, it's not a video game."

Students: ....

Me: "It's toy spaceships, and you use dice, and rulers, like a fancy boardgame."

Students: ....

Students: "You like Star Wars too much."

*in apartment*

*Roommate says no more dumb star wars toys*

*ohhellno.jpeg*

*cue me smuggling in new waves ship by ship for a whole year*

14 minutes ago, ianediger said:

*in apartment*

*Roommate says no more dumb star wars toys*

*ohhellno.jpeg*

*cue me smuggling in new waves ship by ship for a whole year*

That would be when I DCed the internet service and held it as such until they take back their slander.

56 minutes ago, Alzer said:

Me: "I'm going to play Star Wars tonight"

Students: "Battlefront?"

Me: "No, more spaceships"

Students: "Lego Star Wars?"

Me: "No, it's not a video game."

Students: ....

Me: "It's toy spaceships, and you use dice, and rulers, like a fancy boardgame."

Students: ....

Students: "You like Star Wars too much."

Had almost the same conversation with my students.

Me: 'Hey man, I just got this really cool new Star Wars game!'
Person I was talking to #1: 'Oh yeah? What is it?'
Me: 'It's this really cool table-top strategy game where you have plastic models that you push around on a table! You roll dice and move with rulers!'
Other Person #1: 'Sounds fun!'
Me: 'Yeah! Wanna play?'
OP#1: 'No.'
[...]
Me: 'Hey man, I just got this really cool new Star Wars game!'
Person I was talking to #2: 'Oh yeah? What is it?'
Me: 'It's this really cool table-top strategy game where you have plastic models that you push around on a table! You roll dice and move with rulers!'
Other Person #2: 'Sounds fun!'
Me: 'Yeah! Wanna play?'
OP#2: 'No.'

[...NEXT WEEK...]

OP#1: 'Hey man, whatcha doing?'
Me: 'Playing that Star Wars game I was telling you about, wanna join?'
OP#1: 'No.'
[...]
OP#2: 'Hey man, whatcha doing?'
Me: 'Playing that Star Wars game I was telling you about, wanna join?'
OP#2: 'No.'

[...NEXT MONTH...]

OP#1: 'Hey man, whatcha doing?'
Me: 'Playing that Star Wars game I was telling you about, wanna join?'
OP#1: 'No.'
OP#2: 'Hey man, whatcha doing?'
Me: 'Playing that Star Wars game I was telling you about, wanna join?'
OP#2: '*sigh* Fine . . .'

[...ONE YEAR LATER...]

OP#1: 'Hey guys, whatcha doing?'
Me/OP#2: 'Playing that Star Wars game we told you about, wanna join?'
OP#1: 'No.'
[...]
Me: 'Hey Man -'
OP#1: 'IF IT'S ABOUT THAT STAR WARS GAME!!!'
Me: '. . . how are you?'

I'm at 1.5 years now, and have 1 player and maybe. . . I think I'm getting there. . . I may lure the second.

Edit: But I've practically alienated everybody else I know from constantly asking them to play. . .