here is the first page or two of my adventure, the whole adventure is not complete, even this part is not a final draft.

Any tips would be apreciated, feel free to question it and to tear it apart. Feed back is appreciated:

DARK SECRETS (name is not definate)

Introduction

Adventure Synopsis
This is a longer adventure which should be played with 3 PC’s.
In this adventure, the heroes are hired out by a group of smugglers to help them protect their ‘merchandise’. Over the course of this multi-chapter adventure the PC’s will encounter many twists and turn and will be presented with several options, it is suggested that a few adventures are played before attempting this one.

Cast of Characters
This adventure has several NPC’s that are unique and have their own set of rules. The stats are provided at the end of this adventure. The characters are:
Johann Delaire
The head of the smugglers, he is a big man. He has served in the army as a swordsmen, and a fine one at that, that is why he is the boss, no one wants to challenge him.
Dante Reikheim
An expert marksman, he works as Johann’s right hand man. At nearly half the age of Johann, he is looking forward to the day when he will be in charge and will not have to take orders from anybody.
Franz Delaire
Johann’s younger cousin, they have been good friends since childhood. He acts in direct contrast to Johann; Franz acts as the scout for he has next to no experience with a blade, and he is easily two heads shorter to.

Ready to Start
Read the following text out loud:
You were enjoying a round of beer at the Back Water Tavern, when you were approached by a man.
‘You look like you could use some money,’ he whispered, ‘I got a job for you if you want some gold.’
That instantly got your attention.
‘That’s right, now that I got your attention, all you need to do is help us, me and a few friends that is, sneak a package outside of town. We could use some muscle, need all the help we can get.’
After a few minutes of consideration you agreed, a little more gold is always welcome in your pocket.
‘Good then, we will not meet again until that day arrives. Do not try to find us, we will find you.’ With that he left.

Chapter 1: The Escort
This chapter takes place over 2 Episodes, and in a few locations. In this chapter, the PC’s must stay with the smugglers

Episode 1: Suspicion
In this Episode, the guard are getting suspicious and it is up to the PC’s to distract them. In Act 1, the PC’s have to make some choices about how to distract these guards. Act 2 is a rather slow act where the guards are now trying to reach the smugglers. This Episode ends with a massive fight and it is up to the PC’s to hold off the guards.

Act 1: Suspicious Eyes
Read the following text out loud:

FP:

The adventure hook is a little weak. You may want to directly involve the PC's in the action right off the bat:

For example:

Your party was approached a couple days ago by a man (brief description) with the offer of SILVER for a simple job. Without a lot of other prospects lately, you find yourselves waiting for him at the (list the expected spot).

Next, the best way to lay it out is do a 10 -encounter railroad plot FOR EXAMPLE:

1. Party meets with the guy

2. Party finds themselves in an uncomfortable situation with smugglers who are suddenly being questioned by local guards. They could run, duke it out, turn the smugglers in, etc. In any case, they have a package that somebody wants. If they open the package it is a : cult item/mystery/severed head/whatever

3. If they deliver the package, the guy to whom it's supposed to be delivered is dead/angry/whatever.

4. Dead guy's place has been searched. Party realizes it's a dangerous item. They're suddenly set upon by the people who searched the place (croked guards/greenskins/cultists/ninja-clowns/whatever

5. The PC's head off to take out the badder guy seeking the item. They may question the townsfolk.

6. He's in the middle of a ceremony and they interrupt him.

7. Monster suddenly emerges during ceremony, eats the bad man, goes for the PC's (or thanks them in a Conan game)

8. WHole place starts to cave-in, PC's run for their lives

9. Back at the tavern, they meet the guy who originally wnated to hire them. He offers them another job.

10. Wrap up

Then, just flesh out the details.

HINT: You don't need to put "Read the following aloud to the players." Have a note in the beginning of the scenario that the READ ALOUD text is in italics.

Brainstorm a bit in a hurry and you'll come up with someneat ideas.

You can find an Temeplate for Scenario here: gallery.rptools.net/v/contrib/emirikol7/

Jay Hafner

Lakewood, CO

...

thanks,

That was just the basic outline for the introduction to the adventure, i will flesh it out more when i have the first few encounters up.

one more thing, should i go into detail about the town, the PC's wont be in there to much but would it help for background?

When it comes to towns:

* Detail about 2-5 NPC's (NEVER stat them up unless they're going to be fought..just do description and rumors known). If they're just there for information, a quick description and some "local rumors" work best. For example: Toothless Old Kindgar Oglesson. He seems to be the guy that knows the most about local gossip. He speaks with a strong lisp. He can reveal the following to the PC's: rumor 1 rumor 2

* Detail 2-3 locations. Not the same old junk. It's a given you'll maybe have a tavern, but be original and start them elsewhere instead. Maybe the people meet at the local general store (where they also serve drinks). Then you have the "seamstress of questionable repute", "leatherworker whose wife chases him around with a rolling pin," and of course the baker who's flour seems to always be colored "blue." Stuff like that is memorable. Otherwise, just say the town vague-ness. The usual stuff can be come up by the GM. You may want to list a few things, but otherwise gloss it over without too much detail.

* Have an NPC that will recur. There's nothing worse than wasted NPC's. Have a traveller, a coachman, a boatman, a soldier that they will pass by a couple times...maybe a traveling herbalist.

I look forwards to seeing your work. Remember, it doesn't have to be perfect. It just has to be usable by a GM with an imagination. Focus on the stuff that counts

jh

Thanks,

I think i will probably add a few more pages of introduction, to help with the background, and i already fixed the adventure hook, but after reading your newest post i will probably change it again to make it not so plain =P

Those characters will probably be worked on more, just a general background for a reminder for me for now and ya they are going to be helping out the PC's in combat. i will definatley have more NPC's, these are the only ones used for where i am at in the writing though.

I will probably be done the adventure soon. Already done the first chapter and a bit. I will definately post it when it is done to.

What about this adventure hook:

You were waiting at Jab and Stab Weapons, waiting for your blades to be sharpened, when you were approached by a man, he was a short man, looked like he was on the verge of starvation. Only the light brown curls of his hair could be seen under the hood that covered his head.
‘You look like you could use some money,’ he whispered, ‘I got a job for you if you want some gold.’ He breathed out, the smell of beer heavy in it.
You looked up at the man; you haven’t had a proper job in some weeks now.
‘That’s right, now that I got your attention, all you need to do is help us, me and a few

friends that is, sneak a package outside of
town. We could use some muscle, need all
the help we can get.’
After a few minutes of consideration you
agreed, a little more gold is always welcome in
your pocket.
‘Good then, we will not meet again until the
day arrives. Do not try to find us, we will find
you.’ With a quick nod to you he turned
around and left the room, a huge grin laid upon
on his face.
For the following nights you stayed in the inn
next to the tavern waiting for the signal.

On the second night you woke to a silent
scratch against the door, you turned on the
lantern. You listened for any noise only the
gentle pacing of footsteps could be heard,
And they were coming from inside your very
room!
You quickly reach for the lantern; it was the
closest thing to a weapon in reach. You
whipped it around in front of you to take a
look. Nothing could be seen.
A shiver crawled down your spine as you felt a
hot breath roll over your shoulder.

‘It’s time.’ The words came from behind you,
they were so quiet they could have been mistaken
for the wind. You turned around just in time to
see a dark figure crawl out of the window.

Sorry about the wirad paragraohing, it is not like that on the actual thing.

Is that one better, i still sort of included the original one, i just made it, well.... more original. =)

facepalm said:

It should read

next to the shop

Woops my bad.

Good start. Now that you've got your idea down for the opening scene, it's best to do a quick rewrite and shorten it without assuming the players are taking any action whatsoever. You can put "extra" info in the GM's section. This will accomplish three things: 1) Your players will feel like they're getting right to the action, but without the railroading 2) you won't get in trouble with any players who say "but I would have done something different." 3) you show the GM extra info that he CAN use if he chooses.

The easiest way to do that is to remove the word YOU from the read aloud paragraphs. For example (notice how much shorter it is...short read-aloud text is preferred by most players):

------------------------------

It's been two days since the meeting with the short, drunk half-starved man. It wasn't certain if there would actually be a job, but suddenly a figure in the darkness of this common room whispers, "It's time." He sits in the window and motions for your party to follow.

-------------------------------

GM's Text:

The party doesn't know much at this point. They may choose to follow. Once outside the window, the figure in the dark turns out to be a rather thin and nimble dwarf. He will be rather cagey about the task at handy, but will reveal just enough to get the PC's to follow him to the job. He will reveal the following:

fact 1 fact2 , etc.

NPC: Bob the Dwarf, Thief (stats go here). Description, Personality, Information

Jay H

Don't waste too much time on writing your intro. Everything should be put down in brainstorm first. Go ahead and do an encounter 1-10 format and I can help you a lot more from there.

Jay H

ya i have the first 2 episodes down, mostly, and have note form for the next 3 also.

i will shorten the intro also.

I'll post the first episode up in a bit.

i think i wrote my first episode i meant the basic outline of them all.

Right. Some people work step by step. I always like to see the outline first when I'm working on stuff. It seems like you get more flexibility when you can see the big picture. I think it also gives you the chance to move parts around without feeling like you have to rewrite the whole scenario.

jh

okay here is th basics of the episodes:

Warning spoilers!

1. the PC's are going through town, trying to keep the smugglrs safe

2. the PC's get the smugglers to the sewers, they encounter new threats and twists, the last act is technicaly the point that the campaign changes. Ends the collapsing of the sewers, the content of the package gets revealed also, they figure out that there are more simular packages going to the same destination.

3. The PC's must navigate through skaven passageways, this episode is pretty basic.

Here is where things are not definate.

4. the PC's get out, are forced to track down to where the smugglers were sendin the package to, for that reason they have to head back to town, on the way they get ambushed by goblins, (May take this last part and episode 5 out, what do you think about them?) ends with them getting knocked out...

5. wakeup and find themselves in a giant spider lair, they have to get out.

6.they get to town, must talk to the local folk to get information about the destination of the package. They figure out it is a powerful necromancer. the packages are being used for a grand spell. (summon giant army, become immortal... i do not know yet.)

7. on the way to the necromancer, they run into another group of smugglers, led by a certain person you have met before (trying to keep spoilers to a minimum).

8.they get to the swamp that the necromancer is located, must venture through it

9.a undead army is geeting raised, PC's must now hurry, while fighting lots of weak enemies (are not fully 'alive', the undead are in a weakened state.

10.the heroes fight the necromancer, and his elite undead guard, ends with another few surprises, possible leading to a sequel sort of thing.

I think that is about it.

Update.

I am now 6 pages closer to completion. i have added a page on the town, a few more acts written and a small map of the market district.

I will hopefully have it up and running soon, in a week or so =P

Any suggestions and/or questions based off the plot outline shown in my last post?

Thanks in advance

The assumption that group is in need of money/will do job no question asked seems narrow-cast to me. I realize that fits a theme for much traditional warharmmer stuff but for this edition, I think adventure hooks should be slanted towards party card types and an adventure's hook/alternative hooks should target at least a third of the various party types.

Rob

>1. the PC's are going through town, trying to keep the smugglrs safe

Safe from what/whom? You may wish to consider the Party Cards and how each type of group would act. If they're servants of justice, you've got to figure out how they're going to get "tricked" into helping. I'd use "running protection for the smugglers" rather than "keeping them safe" just as a more colorful phrase. This will also give you new ideas on how his can go

>2. the PC's get the smugglers to the sewers, they encounter new threats and twists, the last act is technicaly the point that the campaign changes. Ends the collapsing of the sewers, the content of the package gets revealed also, they figure out that there are more simular packages going to the same destination.

Why are they in the sewers again?

You have several options instead of sewar collapses: a more gritty way to do it might be to have it be raining severely outside and the sewers are slowly filling up.

>Here is where things are not definate.

>4. the PC's get out, are forced to track down to where the smugglers were sendin the package to, for that reason they have to head back to town, on the way they get ambushed by goblins, (May take this last part and episode 5 out, what do you think about them?) ends with them getting knocked out...

Rather than a random attack, you may want to have the goblins have a reason to put them there. Maybe the goblins know of the package and are after it too..pick a reason why and how they found out about it.

>5. wakeup and find themselves in a giant spider lair, they have to get out.

I'd save this for a different' scenario or side encounter as it doesn't seem to be relevant to the encounter..unless the goblins chase them into that area of the woods and the PC's get stuck..and the goblins refuse to follow.

>6.they get to town, must talk to the local folk to get information about the destination of the package. They figure out it is a powerful necromancer. the packages are being used for a grand spell. (summon giant army, become immortal... i do not know yet.)

I'd give the PC's a couple options here:

* They can quiz locals. Most locals are not going to know much about necromancers or they would have already had him burnt at the stake. There would be a lot of false leads, rumors, and outright lies by the villagers. They may scapegoat some shopkeeper, witch-like woman, or just try to get rid of "competition to whatever business they're in. Dirty, crazy, lying, burn-the-witch, no-good villagers is the heart of a good WARHAMMER game.

>7. on the way to the necromancer, they run into another group of smugglers, led by a certain person you have met before (trying to keep spoilers to a minimum).

Good idea.

>8.they get to the swamp that the necromancer is located, must venture through it

>9.a undead army is geeting raised, PC's must now hurry, while fighting lots of weak enemies (are not fully 'alive', the undead are in a weakened state.

>10.the heroes fight the necromancer, and his elite undead guard, ends with another few surprises, possible leading to a sequel sort of thing.

Looks like a good start.

Jay H

Why not move this thread to the subforum "Gamemasters"?

It should fit right in there. That way you avoid players accidently get to read the plot.

Good gaming

Agreed. It's kind of pointless to ask for advice whilst worrying about spoilers You should re-start the topic in the GM's forum here. There's no worrying about spoilers and other GM's can give you legitimate advice and help problem-solve

jh

Ya that is a good idea, i think i'll move it over to Game Master.

@Emirikol, they are in the sewers to get the package out of town without getting nticed, can't exactly walk out the front gate...

Ya i have ways to connect the episodes in my head.

there, ti has been moved, to the GM section, under the same title.