TIE Swarm

....Or international space station?

I, for one, welcome our new Imperial overlords. We get speederbikes, right?

I, for one, welcome our new Imperial overlords. We get speederbikes, right?

You get to make them. Properly.

I'm ready to be trained to shoot at and miss the main scum of the galaxy

I'm ready to be trained to shoot at and miss the main scum of the galaxy

A libellous myth propagated by terrorists, imperial soldiers are unequalled marksmen.

I'm ready to be trained to shoot at and miss the main scum of the galaxy

A libellous myth propagated by terrorists, imperial soldiers are unequalled marksmen.

I, for one, welcome our new Imperial overlords. We get speederbikes, right?

You get to make them. Properly.

The Empire is in for a rude awakening when they realize that we're a bit less homogeneous than other planets in the Galaxy.

"Lieutenant, how are the speeder factories on Sol 3 coming?"

"With difficulty, Captain. We have multiple factories in production, but only one is building them to standard Imperial specifications. This small island is called 'Japan' by the natives."

"What about the other ones?"

"Well, Sir, nearby is a large region with many factories, called 'China.' They produce numbers well above quota, but the bikes tend to fall apart as soon as the repulsors are engaged. On this side of the planet, in 'Germany,' they're building very impressive, fast, comfortable speeders, but they're doing it 200% over budget. They frequently break down, and they're producing their own specialized parts, so repairs are about eight times as expensive and require a wait of three standard months."

"Blast it all, what about this region, way over here?"

"Yes sir, that is a region called 'Merrca.' I have one of their speederbikes right here. It is... strange, as you can see. They all come with these markings on the side, which translates to, 'Freedom ain't free.' Our linguists are still unsure exactly what an 'ain't' is."

"It is very shiny, what's going on with the handlebars?"

"They call the shiny material 'chrome,' Sir, and insist on using it in everything, despite our protestations, particularly on the massive exhaust ports. The ridiculously tall handlebars are what they call, "ape-hangers." When I inquired what practical purpose they could possibly serve, the foreman of the factory laughed and made several allegations about my parentage."

"Insolent peasants! I thought we had negotiated their subservience with their Emperor in that icy region!"

"About that. It seems that those creatures are called 'Emperor Penguins.' While as intelligent as the near-humans that populate the rest of the planet, they are primarily concerned with fish, and in fact have no governance over the planet's infrastructure."

"Bah! Let's just melt their ice caps, flood the planet, and be done with it!"

"Well then, I do have some good news for you, Sir..."

Is that really the ISS, or TIEs migrating south for the winter?

"They call the shiny material 'chrome,' Sir, and insist on using it in everything, despite our protestations, particularly on the massive exhaust ports. The ridiculously tall handlebars are what they call, "ape-hangers." When I inquired what practical purpose they could possibly serve, the foreman of the factory laughed and made several allegations about my parentage."

"Insolent peasants! I thought we had negotiated their subservience with their Emperor in that icy region!"

"About that. It seems that those creatures are called 'Emperor Penguins.' While as intelligent as the near-humans that populate the rest of the planet, they are primarily concerned with fish, and in fact have no governance over the planet's infrastructure."

"Bah! Let's just melt their ice caps, flood the planet, and be done with it!"

"Well then, I do have some good news for you, Sir..."

Diplomatic response from the Antarctic Emperor:

"Hey, that's my fish!"