Thanks to Joseph Odell (@Rodent_Joe) who posted these. They made me laugh.
Crab: why do you waste money on ceremonial tissues when you have fingers that can just as easily clean a nose?
Crane: You may think you are right. But I know karate. Therefore, I am right.
Dragon: What did I do today? I contemplated what it was like to live a life as a bowl of rice.
Lion: F***ING FIGHT ME YOU FFFFFffffine honorable gentlemen.
Mantis: Ok. Centipede stand on my shoulders, Fox stand in his, throw on a trench coat, then they'll have to accept we're a great clan.
Phoenix: Why you gotta be so rude, you s*** eating barbarians? Let's just live in peace... or else...
Scorpion: ...honorable...
...Honirable... ...Honirjable... ...Onirjabl... ...Oninjab... ...Ninja... Ninja Ninjas? Ninjas! Good idea!
Spider: We believe in self improvement, knowledge, strong will, determination, COUGHcannibalismCOUGH- & for SOME REASON we the bad guys
Unicorn: Actually we've been getting along fine with a horse as our new Daimyo.