It has been a while since I have done a Discussion Time post but how do you handle this? Is there a way for them to show improvement? Is there a way for them to come back?

This is what broad shoulders, stiff upper lips, and elevated chins were made for. You cannot force someone out. It's not your game, your store most certainly would not appreciate you chasing away a paying customer, and even if someone is just a terrible human, they are out there and we all have to deal with them.

So you deal with them. You play against them and shake their hand even though they are terrible simply because YOU are not terrible and that is what non-terrible people do.

This is what broad shoulders, stiff upper lips, and elevated chins were made for. You cannot force someone out. It's not your game, your store most certainly would not appreciate you chasing away a paying customer, and even if someone is just a terrible human, they are out there and we all have to deal with them.

So you deal with them. You play against them and shake their hand even though they are terrible simply because YOU are not terrible and that is what non-terrible people do.

What if people are threatening to not attend any events because that person shows up?

Then **** the torpedos...let the store owner deal with it. If he won't, find a different venue.

This is what broad shoulders, stiff upper lips, and elevated chins were made for. You cannot force someone out. It's not your game, your store most certainly would not appreciate you chasing away a paying customer, and even if someone is just a terrible human, they are out there and we all have to deal with them.

So you deal with them. You play against them and shake their hand even though they are terrible simply because YOU are not terrible and that is what non-terrible people do.

What if people are threatening to not attend any events because that person shows up?

Ahh “that Guy”

Yeah I think we might have all seen him. The toxic one that glooms on to a game you love and just makes people hate him. What I would recommend.

1. First do some introspection and make sure that it isn’t you that is the problem and that you don’t just like that guy. Some a few months watching to see if this is a problem that YOUR having, or that your Group is having. Also start looking at the person. Gaming doesn’t attract the most self-aware people. It also doesn’t attract the social superstars. I know a guy that knows he can be annoying. But he is a good guy and understands he needs to tone it down… when he remembers to. Sometimes he just needs a sign to take that moment. Having a discussion with them about how the hobby needs people teaching how to win rather than seal clubbing is at times important.

2. Have a frank discussion with the guy, and not just after you lose to him. Tell him that he is rather toxic, and people are complaining about him. Tell him if he is doing specific things, like the “you didn’t win, I beat myself” or Fudging his movements. Generally it’s never one thing. It’s a combination of Game shenanigans with some personality issues that cause people to do silly things.

3. If that doesn’t work stop playing the guy and encourage others too.

This is what broad shoulders, stiff upper lips, and elevated chins were made for. You cannot force someone out. It's not your game, your store most certainly would not appreciate you chasing away a paying customer, and even if someone is just a terrible human, they are out there and we all have to deal with them.

So you deal with them. You play against them and shake their hand even though they are terrible simply because YOU are not terrible and that is what non-terrible people do.

What if people are threatening to not attend any events because that person shows up?

Need more information to really say.

If the person is just REALLY BAD at the game - I'd say you just gotta deal with it. Play them. If you don't want to try to teach them, then at least play them. Armada has very few active players (depending on the area) and we need everyone we can get. So if someone is lousy, you can either teach them, or just suck it up and play a lousy player once in awhile. And if people are threatening not to come, simply because some person is bad at the game, then shame on them.

If the person is disruptive, cruel, breaks their opponents ships, or whatever, then that is complete justification for getting them banned...

This is what broad shoulders, stiff upper lips, and elevated chins were made for. You cannot force someone out. It's not your game, your store most certainly would not appreciate you chasing away a paying customer, and even if someone is just a terrible human, they are out there and we all have to deal with them.

So you deal with them. You play against them and shake their hand even though they are terrible simply because YOU are not terrible and that is what non-terrible people do.

What if people are threatening to not attend any events because that person shows up?

Need more information to really say.

If the person is just REALLY BAD at the game - I'd say you just gotta deal with it. Play them. If you don't want to try to teach them, then at least play them. Armada has very few active players (depending on the area) and we need everyone we can get. So if someone is lousy, you can either teach them, or just suck it up and play a lousy player once in awhile. And if people are threatening not to come, simply because some person is bad at the game, then shame on them.

If the person is disruptive, cruel, breaks their opponents ships, or whatever, then that is complete justification for getting them banned...

Lets say the person as social issues and can be a bit of an arse at times without realizing it. It puts people off and can dampen the mood at a tournament. They may or may not have improved since they have not been observed by the person in some time (oh 3 months or so)

This is what broad shoulders, stiff upper lips, and elevated chins were made for. You cannot force someone out. It's not your game, your store most certainly would not appreciate you chasing away a paying customer, and even if someone is just a terrible human, they are out there and we all have to deal with them.

So you deal with them. You play against them and shake their hand even though they are terrible simply because YOU are not terrible and that is what non-terrible people do.

What if people are threatening to not attend any events because that person shows up?

Need more information to really say.

If the person is just REALLY BAD at the game - I'd say you just gotta deal with it. Play them. If you don't want to try to teach them, then at least play them. Armada has very few active players (depending on the area) and we need everyone we can get. So if someone is lousy, you can either teach them, or just suck it up and play a lousy player once in awhile. And if people are threatening not to come, simply because some person is bad at the game, then shame on them.

If the person is disruptive, cruel, breaks their opponents ships, or whatever, then that is complete justification for getting them banned...

Lets say the person as social issues and can be a bit of an arse at times without realizing it. It puts people off and can dampen the mood at a tournament. They may or may not have improved since they have not been observed by the person in some time (oh 3 months or so)

This is what broad shoulders, stiff upper lips, and elevated chins were made for. You cannot force someone out. It's not your game, your store most certainly would not appreciate you chasing away a paying customer, and even if someone is just a terrible human, they are out there and we all have to deal with them.

So you deal with them. You play against them and shake their hand even though they are terrible simply because YOU are not terrible and that is what non-terrible people do.

What if people are threatening to not attend any events because that person shows up?

Need more information to really say.

If the person is just REALLY BAD at the game - I'd say you just gotta deal with it. Play them. If you don't want to try to teach them, then at least play them. Armada has very few active players (depending on the area) and we need everyone we can get. So if someone is lousy, you can either teach them, or just suck it up and play a lousy player once in awhile. And if people are threatening not to come, simply because some person is bad at the game, then shame on them.

If the person is disruptive, cruel, breaks their opponents ships, or whatever, then that is complete justification for getting them banned...

Lets say the person as social issues and can be a bit of an arse at times without realizing it. It puts people off and can dampen the mood at a tournament. They may or may not have improved since they have not been observed by the person in some time (oh 3 months or so)

figure out if they have improved and then we go from there. If they have not try figure out how to tell then. If they have improved then we move on.

How can they show that if they are being not allowed to events? Even so far as told that they are banned?

This is what broad shoulders, stiff upper lips, and elevated chins were made for. You cannot force someone out. It's not your game, your store most certainly would not appreciate you chasing away a paying customer, and even if someone is just a terrible human, they are out there and we all have to deal with them.

So you deal with them. You play against them and shake their hand even though they are terrible simply because YOU are not terrible and that is what non-terrible people do.

What if people are threatening to not attend any events because that person shows up?

Need more information to really say.

If the person is just REALLY BAD at the game - I'd say you just gotta deal with it. Play them. If you don't want to try to teach them, then at least play them. Armada has very few active players (depending on the area) and we need everyone we can get. So if someone is lousy, you can either teach them, or just suck it up and play a lousy player once in awhile. And if people are threatening not to come, simply because some person is bad at the game, then shame on them.

If the person is disruptive, cruel, breaks their opponents ships, or whatever, then that is complete justification for getting them banned...

Lets say the person as social issues and can be a bit of an arse at times without realizing it. It puts people off and can dampen the mood at a tournament. They may or may not have improved since they have not been observed by the person in some time (oh 3 months or so)

If they aren't realizing it, then I 100% think that it is the communities responsibility to bring it to their attention, but even if that is just how they are, don't fault them for it.

This is what broad shoulders, stiff upper lips, and elevated chins were made for. You cannot force someone out. It's not your game, your store most certainly would not appreciate you chasing away a paying customer, and even if someone is just a terrible human, they are out there and we all have to deal with them.

So you deal with them. You play against them and shake their hand even though they are terrible simply because YOU are not terrible and that is what non-terrible people do.

What if people are threatening to not attend any events because that person shows up?

Need more information to really say.

If the person is just REALLY BAD at the game - I'd say you just gotta deal with it. Play them. If you don't want to try to teach them, then at least play them. Armada has very few active players (depending on the area) and we need everyone we can get. So if someone is lousy, you can either teach them, or just suck it up and play a lousy player once in awhile. And if people are threatening not to come, simply because some person is bad at the game, then shame on them.

If the person is disruptive, cruel, breaks their opponents ships, or whatever, then that is complete justification for getting them banned...

Lets say the person as social issues and can be a bit of an arse at times without realizing it. It puts people off and can dampen the mood at a tournament. They may or may not have improved since they have not been observed by the person in some time (oh 3 months or so)

If they aren't realizing it, then I 100% think that it is the communities responsibility to bring it to their attention, but even if that is just how they are, don't fault them for it.

If the person apologizes for it but it still happens albeit a bit more infrequently? Lets say he is harsher on himself than being a total arse to others and it is just a vocal condemnation of himself?

HAHAHA humane answers please.

If it's bad enough people a threatening to quit coming, the It's time for those people as a group to approach the store owner and state there case. Just remember, in the end it's the store owner's choice about any action to take.

If the person apologizes for it but it still happens albeit a bit more infrequently? Lets say he is harsher on himself than being a total arse to others and it is just a vocal condemnation of himself?

Well, a heartfelt apology can work wonders. A lot of people simply don't know what a particular person may be going through. They'll just assume he's a jerk, and let that be that. If there's an apology - not necessarily an explanation, or excuses, just a heartfelt apology - then it can really help, but it would have to be that.

Many people in such situations give very passive-aggressive apologies. Sometimes in a not heartfelt but teacher-made-me-say-sorry kind of way. Sometimes such apologies come out in an angry it's-not-really-my-fault-and-shame-on-you-for-making-me-do-this kind of way. It can't have any hint of that sort of thing. Sorry-not-sorry won't cut it.

The question is, would that person really go to that lengths? I guess it would depend on how much he wanted to be a part of the community, and to what degree he can set his defenses aside for a moment.

This is what broad shoulders, stiff upper lips, and elevated chins were made for. You cannot force someone out. It's not your game, your store most certainly would not appreciate you chasing away a paying customer, and even if someone is just a terrible human, they are out there and we all have to deal with them.

So you deal with them. You play against them and shake their hand even though they are terrible simply because YOU are not terrible and that is what non-terrible people do.

What if people are threatening to not attend any events because that person shows up?

Need more information to really say.

If the person is just REALLY BAD at the game - I'd say you just gotta deal with it. Play them. If you don't want to try to teach them, then at least play them. Armada has very few active players (depending on the area) and we need everyone we can get. So if someone is lousy, you can either teach them, or just suck it up and play a lousy player once in awhile. And if people are threatening not to come, simply because some person is bad at the game, then shame on them.

If the person is disruptive, cruel, breaks their opponents ships, or whatever, then that is complete justification for getting them banned...

Lets say the person as social issues and can be a bit of an arse at times without realizing it. It puts people off and can dampen the mood at a tournament. They may or may not have improved since they have not been observed by the person in some time (oh 3 months or so)

If they aren't realizing it, then I 100% think that it is the communities responsibility to bring it to their attention, but even if that is just how they are, don't fault them for it.

If the person apologizes for it but it still happens albeit a bit more infrequently? Lets say he is harsher on himself than being a total arse to others and it is just a vocal condemnation of himself?

Its not you is it?

...just be happy you have a community?

Some people just can't change, others just need a talk. I know I am a sore loser, and I really have to watch my own reactions to in game problems. Lucky I am now medicated and far more chill then I used to be. However I still sometimes spend too much time bitching about a bad situation instead of thinking of how I am going to get out of it. I just hope I myself am not the guy that causes others to go

...just be happy you have a community?

also, it kind of depends on what they're doing, which you can't talk about much because otherwise he or other people will know exactly who you're seemingly badmouthing.

best bet though is to get a group of 3 or so people to talk to him in a non-confrontational manner.

Unless he's breaking ships. Anyones. Then you beat him to a pulp.

Talk to them, explain your side. They might not respond positively immediately, it takes times. But overtime you can work on it together.

Whatever you do, dont start a highly public thread on an online forum about them.

also, it kind of depends on what they're doing, which you can't talk about much because otherwise he or other people will know exactly who you're seemingly badmouthing.

best bet though is to get a group of 3 or so people to talk to him in a non-confrontational manner.

Unless he's breaking ships. Anyones. Then you beat him to a pulp.

It is a tough situation to be sure. The person in question does not break ships or throw things or such reprehensible actions. They just go a bit extreme at times and have a very odd morality system I think compared to others.

Talk to them, explain your side. They might not respond positively immediately, it takes times. But overtime you can work on it together.

Whatever you do, dont start a highly public thread on an online forum about them.

HAHAHAHA, they are fine with it. I am keeping the anonymity on purpose but the person knows about the thread and respects the concept that the thread will give that person ideas on how to deal with the situation. They were in total agreement with the idea before I ever posted this. I am not that socially awkward Ginkapo

How I deal with difficulty people in the community:

1. Have thick skin.

2. Talk trash about them behind their back with other who share the same feeling. It brings comfort and esprit de corps knowing you aren't alone.

3. Make my best effort to just deal with it.

If the first 3 steps aren't enough:

4. Play at a different location with people I like. It sucks that the community has to split, but if the community is toxic because Joe Schmo and Co. is toxic, then it needs to be reformed without Joe and Co.

There probably should be a step in there about talking to the person, but honestly, that's not really my responsibility. If you are in the tabletop community and you haven't learned how to interact with people yet, my direct talk isn't going to be the thing that helps you. Step 1 covers people with mental issues who might have trouble with social interaction, so I'm not just writing people off willy nilly. If I were, I wouldn't have a community at all.

How I deal with difficulty people in the community:

1. Have thick skin.

2. Talk trash about them behind their back with other who share the same feeling. It brings comfort knowing you aren't alone.

3. Make my best effort to just deal with it.

If the first 3 steps aren't enough:

4. Play at a different location with people I like. It sucks that the community has to split, but if the community is toxic because Joe Schmo and Co. is toxic, then it needs to be reformed without Joe and Co.

There probably should be a step in there about talking to the person, but honestly, that's not really my responsibility. If you are in the tabletop community and you haven't learned how to interact with people yet, my direct talk isn't going to be the thing that helps you. Step 1 covers people with mental issues who might have trouble with social interaction, so I'm not just writing people off willy nilly. If I were, I wouldn't have a community at all.