So, out of the blue today, I got a nice little piece of hatemail in my business Inbox, telling me how much of a jerk I am on the forums.

Its not the first time I've gotten PM'd hate, especially with everything I tend to say in the rules forums... But this is the first time I've got a pseudo-real-name to go with it.

Anyone else get really classy messages like that either on the FFG PM's or through elsewhere?

If so, we should start a little copy-paste collection here.

I've gotten 2-3 bits of hatemail (I once even had a running PM discussion with the infamous AdmiralNelson), but never in meatspace, always through private messaging on the forum.

I don't try to antagonize people (...except AdmiralNelson, but he had to earn it first and it had to be silly antagonizing in return) but I write very directly and with some silly hyperbole. It can upset some people who are used to communicating indirectly and/or assume silliness/off the cuff remarks are concealing a sinister motive. Again, I don't try to antagonize people. I don't intend to write aggressively. I've met people who take pride in being abrasive and awful and never toning it down for anybody and they're 100% of the time just unbearable asshats. I just see direct communication as a sign of respect for the recipient.

I don't think I would copy-paste hatemail online unless it was extremely over-the-top ridiculous or legitimately threatening (in which case it serves to call out extremely bad behavior either way).

For what it's worth, I value your presence on the forums and acknowledge the Rules Forum as the Duchy of Dras, where the rest of us can aspire to lower feudal positions provided we behave ourselves.

I feel I'm much the same.. I can be very direct, very blunt... And when I'm not being Blunt or Direct, I am goddamn sarcastic .

And there was nothing special about this. I mean, if you discount the improper use of 'your' that is all too common these days.

What exactly were they upset about? You disagreeing with them on the rules forum?

I'm often surprised at how upset people can get on the rules forum. It seems like people get very caught up in playing something a specific (wrong) way and when corrected and pointed towards the rules reference guide or FAQ just go nuts for a variety of reasons, including:

1. You just demonstrated that if they'd bothered to look in the right place, they wouldn't have had to ask the question in the first place, making them feel stupid. (even if that wasn't your intent)
2. They're really attached to misplaying something in a particular way because they "feel like it makes more sense that way" and/or have been doing it wrong for so long that change is scary and/or don't want to change the version of the rule that lives in their head with the real rule (see: the occasional discussion on Grit, which is frequently remembered incorrectly in a variety of ways).
3. They just want to fight someone, basically, and don't like being corrected. Or they're trying to find some argument to keep playing something wrong and don't want to admit they screwed up to their local gaming group.

I mean, it's a game. We all need to follow the rules. Sometimes we don't follow the rules correctly and once we've learned that we we wrong, we should endeavor to correct that in the future. I don't see why it at any point should get emotional.

Oh, this time, they were merely commenting about how much of a "Goddamn Jerk" I am on these forums when I am commenting, when I do not agree with people's opinions... Or rather, when they do not share mine.

Wait. . . How have you all gotten hate mail? I am one of the worst douches on here and I have yet to get any. . . The heck people. Leave the nice guys alone!

Pissh Posh, I have Never Recived "hatemail" on this forum.

*Gloat powers ACTIVATE!*

I have however received tons of FANmail!

People were Very interested in Clonisher, And (kinda surprising considering the public posts on the topic) my posts about Feminism. I was blessed with a couple dozen pm discussions from these that were Enlightening and Productive

Obviously it's a result of my Superior personality and ideology. Supported by the fact that the public has seen through the Rebel Scums lies and Forsaken their Terrorists ways!

Wait. . . How have you all gotten hate mail? I am one of the worst douches on here and I have yet to get any. . . The heck people. Leave the nice guys alone!

Wait. . . How have you all gotten hate mail? I am one of the worst douches on here and I have yet to get any. . . The heck people. Leave the nice guys alone!

to be fair, you just get Publicly denounced lol

That is true. You guys do that which I don't get either. . . People are weird

"Ribbing on your Mates" is quite the Victorian tradition I grew up with, in Australia...

You talk crap about those who are your friends.

Its not done behind their back, its not done in the quiet of a back room... Its done to their face, in the pub, around all of your-and-their mates.

Because you expect them to take any and all trumped-up criticism in the light-hearted way it was intended, at which point you find a way to one-up them to their face, and everyone has a good laugh.

An Example:

"Mate, you can be such a whiney ***** when it comes to not being able to play Armada."
"Yeah, I really should spend more time practicing and less time banging your mother."

I'm sure EVERY culture has this tradition in (more than one) way, shape or form...

But it is just stupidly prevelant for me.

So when I rib you in the open, all I'm doing is saying you're my Mate, after all

None of this In-PM, Backroom stuff. Where's the fun in that?

I think we're recording again tonight so if I do it right I'll have a steady flow for a few days after.

Seriously though it's just the flaw of the printed media. Snark is dangerous without the fave to face tone. Everything becomes an attack if the reader wants to perceive it that way.

I am a Navy Veteran. Ribbing is just a fact of life. Be forward with it and have some fun. Don't take it seriously though. I don't like the cloak and daggers style of hate that sounds like these PMs give. . .

Whoo, totally dodging those bullets!

Then again, I'm not really anything special. Unlike the rest of you guys.

Wait. . . How have you all gotten hate mail? I am one of the worst douches on here and I have yet to get any. . . The heck people. Leave the nice guys alone!

You see in being a ****** you show you can fight back, the last thing an asshat wants is for someone to fight back

Wow, Dou che is bleeped and asshat isn't.

Wait. . . How have you all gotten hate mail? I am one of the worst douches on here and I have yet to get any. . . The heck people. Leave the nice guys alone!

You see in being a ****** you show you can fight back, the last thing an asshat wants is for someone to fight back

Wow, Dou che is bleeped and asshat isn't.

Wait. . . How have you all gotten hate mail? I am one of the worst douches on here and I have yet to get any. . . The heck people. Leave the nice guys alone!

You see in being a ****** you show you can fight back, the last thing an asshat wants is for someone to fight back

Wow, Dou che is bleeped and asshat isn't.

Well, only one is an actual word.

Wait. . . How have you all gotten hate mail? I am one of the worst douches on here and I have yet to get any. . . The heck people. Leave the nice guys alone!

to be fair, you just get Publicly denounced lol

That is true. You guys do that which I don't get either. . . People are weird

I will freely admit to making fun of Lyraeus from time to time when he inserts Dodonna the Oppressor into conversations where it comes across as awkward and forced or claims to be the possessor of rare skills not seen amongst mere mortal Armada players. I view this as far and away a different beast from hatemail. It's mostly a kind of winking pushback (at least from my perspective, anyways). I think Lyraeus has good things to add but he does come across as self-important sometimes and the perceived arrogance makes people disregard what he has to say and focus on just flaming him in response. It's a double problem because it both A) means people completely ignore the constructive things he is adding and B) can turn entire threads into rolling flame wars, at least for a while. Therefore I kind of kid him about it because I do think he'd communicate more effectively without those elements and I'm trying to kind of provide the gentle pushback before a more vitriolic response arises. I hope it's not viewed as a public denunciation and taken in the spirit in which it is intended (Lyraeus if you want to talk about it feel free to PM me, btw).

I think we're recording again tonight so if I do it right I'll have a steady flow for a few days after.

Seriously though it's just the flaw of the printed media. Snark is dangerous without the fave to face tone. Everything becomes an attack if the reader wants to perceive it that way.

It is extremely difficult to read tone in text and so misunderstandings are frequent. I have a growing respect for using emoticons to make the intended tone more clear, even though using them makes me feel like a 50-year-old woman in a cat sweater checking my AOL inbox.

I can only fix the issues people tell me about. Can't fix something that I don't know others take as an issue.

You have yet to attain the true rank of 'Apologetic Canadian' young Commonwealthian padawan. Let that hate flooooow through you, but channel it into passive aggressive condescension rather than aggressive confrontation. Smile to them, leave them guessing and confused. Then, plunge the knife and twist. And always remember to apologize. When you can apologize for being right, you know you are ready to take the test and become l'homme de glace.

Seriously though, that is a bit odd mate. I'm sorry to hear it. I mean, you can be a touch abrasive and assertive but no more than any other human being I know. So, I'm a little surprised. But hey, don't let it get ya down, mate! You do a ton of great work here and you've got a lot of insight on tons of topics.

I haven't got any here, but damned if I haven't gotten stabbed in the back after 4 years of back breaking research/fluff/interpretation/article writing to give a community a ton of information only to be told "yeah, he was always a real self-centered prick." and the like from a few people I thought were friends. There are always going to be people to take issue with 'you'.

... it is unavoidable. It is your destiny. -cue the cackling laughter-

My friends and I used to travel to CanCon in a car all trapped together for 3-4 hours with a meal break. At the time we were playing 40k and on one trip the biggest of all rule discussions broke out. After about 45 minutes one of the fellas says "Perhaps we should check the rule book?" Bloody hide of some people, actually reading the rule book to talk about the rules. So about 3 minutes later (after stopping the car and getting the rule book out of the boot) we had not a whole lot of other things to talk about.

I have always enjoyed your adventures into the rules. You post up page references, quotes and interpretation of all that. I have a pet peeve about people that make stuff up or use language that is contrary to that used in the rule book. People are confused about the rule, concerned they have it wrong or just notice something strange.

So, if that is you being a jerk, please continue with the good work.

Now in general most PM's are private and shouldn't be re-posted, there are probably a whole mess of rules as to what you can send or not as well as other issues as to privacy that if you re-post would get you into trouble. If you think the person is being hurtful, bullying or such then there is a report button. It may not see like much, but who knows the history of things here.

Alternatively, there is also a delete button and probably an ignore button too. Both are perfectly acceptable, and will reduce the blood pressure that such messages raise considerably.

Yes, I have reported the real abusive ones in the past - and those accounts were blocked and/or deleted it seems...

I took it to heart at first. But this was just another effort to laugh it off, I think... I delete the name, but shine the light on the pure absurdity of it.

Although, I never hit CanCon. Always conflicted with Arcanacon... And living out in Churchill and Bairnsdale, it was just a little bit on the closer side of equidistant....

~4 hours of driving West to hit Melbourne... ~5 hours Driving East-then-North over the Ranges to hit Canberra....

Absurd? Yeap probably almost certainly.

But this is the internet and with anonymity comes the ability to be a complete drop kick.

If only we could take the anonymity out of places like this.

Absurd? Yeap probably almost certainly.

But this is the internet and with anonymity comes the ability to be a complete drop kick.

If only we could take the anonymity out of places like this.

Which is really odd in a way... because of they way they sent it... I have meatspace Profile Information... At least a Name, as well as Location in the world, that was all given freely by Facebook...

I mean, it might be faked and all... But who knows...

How come I don't get any???

Am I not curt? Am I not opinionated?

What must I do!?

How come I don't get any???

Am I not curt? Am I not opinionated?

What must I do!?