Let me introduce you to an acquaintance of mine. It's TIE Darcy.
The story behind TIE Darcy is a peculiar one. He started off life like many of his peers, as a TIE Defender, innocently sitting on the shelf, hoping for some unsuspecting buyer to take him home because it's a TIE Fighter, and everyone wants to have TIE Fighters that are different and can do different stuff. The TIE Defender is no different. He's fancying himself a TIE of taste. He has a white Kioigran turn, which speaks for the wide range of hobbies he has but at the same time professes a deep grounding in tradition. The TIE Defender isn't one for fancy Segnor Loops, with which the youth of today try to rebel against tradition, no sir.
But, unfortunately, the image that TIE Defender cultivated of himself isn't one entertained by everyone around him. In fact, my own reaction to first seeing him standing proudly on the table ready for any dance, dogfight or other event that respectable folks are undertaking was one of an unfortunate mixture of horror and amusement, as I wasn't sure what it was trying to resemble. Instead of the cultivated, aristocratic Defender of Virtue that he fancied himself, I saw an asthetic abomination. Put the TIE Defender on its backside, and what you get is the Overmind of the StarCraft series. Look at it from above or from the side, and he seems like a lady taking a stroll and being surprised by a sudden gust of wind, her umbrella pulled against its natural urge to span overhead and protest its carrier from the elements. Look at it diagonally, and the TIE Defender simply looks like a guy with longer hair who walked into a gust of electricity, or like a rat exploded on its head. Try to phrase it as you might, the TIE Defender is ugly. And after a brief period in my company, he had to admit it to himself. It was a painful process, but he got over it. And he vowed to change.
That's where his transformation in TIE Darcy began. Gone were the pretentous days of yore, where he fawned around with his bent wings, intent on gaining as much attention as possible. Painful as the realization was, he realized that while he got the attention allright, he lost all dignity in the process. Chastened he corrected his hair, and instead of arrogantly displaying outward bent wings he converted them into sideburns as they behoove any gentleman of rank. That was the time when he chose to forego his worn out and burned name of TIE Defender, and to name himself after such a paragon of gentlemanly virtues and magnificent sudeburns as Mr. Darcy.
Welcome, TIE Darcy. It's so good to know that you finally realized your past mistakes.
You're still one ugly piece of work, though.