So after dominating my Regionals at Vancouver, I lost in round 3 bad and I just can't stop thinking about it.

How or what do you do to get over a loss?

Take the lesson, have a glass of scotch, play a video game.

I think it's ultimately about being a good sport. Win or Loss.

I sat in my hotel room after the clinic that was put on me after Pittsburgh. I chatted with the GF on the phone, had a bottle of ginger ale (I had just stuffed my face with a Chipotle burrito and guacamole & chips), and once I was done talking, I came up with some lists based on my experience.

Learn from it. Sometimes improvements can be made in your game. And sometimes it's just a loss despite doing everything right. Ultimately it's a game.

I don't have any of that. I do t have a significant other, don't have much in. The way of friends and I am just plain depressed. I know what went wrong game but I feel like an utter failure. It was mine to lose and I lost. . .

Failure is a far better teacher than success in my experience. Sooner or later you were going to lose due to the previously-uncorrected problem in your play. Unfortunately you lost at a higher profile event, but it happens (counterpoint: could have cost you a win even higher up possibly!). You will be a better player in the future for it.

It's hard to have that perspective in the immediate aftermath of a loss you had a lot invested in emotionally, but I come around to it once the feels die down. It's just a game.

I don't have any of that. I do t have a significant other, don't have much in. The way of friends and I am just plain depressed. I know what went wrong game but I feel like an utter failure. It was mine to lose and I lost. . .

Lyr: realize that neither your self worth or self esteem are tied to your proficiency, and more importantly, the outcome of this (or any other) game.

I'm not being an ass, and I know that may sound tougher than it seems. My buddy and I are both extremely competitive gamers. Tactical and strategic board games are one of the only things that I've been good at. When either of us lose at strategy games, we get pretty moody about it. It passes.

So after dominating my Regionals at Vancouver, I lost in round 3 bad and I just can't stop thinking about it.

How or what do you do to get over a loss?

So...what do you mean exactly? You dominated your first 2 games and lost bad round 3?

You got me man. I don't know how to explain how I relate. I have a phukin infectious party-like attitude at every event I go to, laugh at bad dice rolls, quote Han and Lando all day, and my beard is good.

I also play to win the Objective but not the Tourney. Lost plenty of events with an undefeated run.

In the end, all that really matters is if your beard is good. Dano is beard.

So after dominating my Regionals at Vancouver, I lost in round 3 bad and I just can't stop thinking about it.

How or what do you do to get over a loss?

So...what do you mean exactly? You dominated your first 2 games and lost bad round 3?

First, one of my favorite quotes:

`

How we respond to failure is critical in life. Here are some thoughts in the present context:

1. Accept that you will make mistakes. You will lose games. Acceptance of this fact is an important key to confidence. You have to accept the bad with the good so that you don't fear it. Otherwise, fear creeps in.

2. Recognize that your self-worth and identity are different from your performance. You are intrinsically valuable.

Or at least that's a start today.

Over the next few months, you can work on building a support system of friends. Then, they can be there when you need them. Making and keeping friends does require effort and work. They are going to be there for you, but you also have to be there for them. Friendship, true friendship, has to be one of the most outstanding things in life, and there are few things, that remotely compare.

Remember that it's just a game, even if it was a high-level event. There are far more important things in life. I was riding high today after my 10-0 first game and then getting pretty bummed when you were kicking my butt in game 2, and then I got the text from my wife that our daughter was in urgent care...and suddenly the tournament didn't seem quite so important. (She's fine by the way). You played really well in that game against me and deserved the 10-0, no doubt about it. Just remember to "fly casual" and play with the spirit of the game in mind. Know that your opponent is there to have fun more than anything else. My last game was against a fairly newer player and I let him correct some simple mistakes that didn't overall impact the outcome. I didn't go easy on him at all (I won 8-2) but not taking things so seriously led to us both having a really good time. I took 4th, my daughter is doing well, and it was a good day!

i had a similar mistake/loss at a Warhammer GT back in the day. Bugged me for a long time. Best thing i can say is resolve to learn from it and think if you can modify your plans in the future.

Try to focus less on the other games in the tourney and just work on the one in front of you, that helps me. I make fewer mistakes when I don't care how anyone else is doing.

You were flying pretty high in the second match when you were winning. Learning to stay more even through wins will help with the losses too.

Remember that it's just a game, even if it was a high-level event. There are far more important things in life. I was riding high today after my 10-0 first game and then getting pretty bummed when you were kicking my butt in game 2, and then I got the text from my wife that our daughter was in urgent care...and suddenly the tournament didn't seem quite so important. (She's fine by the way). You played really well in that game against me and deserved the 10-0, no doubt about it. Just remember to "fly casual" and play with the spirit of the game in mind. Know that your opponent is there to have fun more than anything else. My last game was against a fairly newer player and I let him correct some simple mistakes that didn't overall impact the outcome. I didn't go easy on him at all (I won 8-2) but not taking things so seriously led to us both having a really good time. I took 4th, my daughter is doing well, and it was a good day!

i had a similar mistake/loss at a Warhammer GT back in the day. Bugged me for a long time. Best thing i can say is resolve to learn from it and think if you can modify your plans in the future.

Try to focus less on the other games in the tourney and just work on the one in front of you, that helps me. I make fewer mistakes when I don't care how anyone else is doing.

You were flying pretty high in the second match when you were winning. Learning to stay more even through wins will help with the losses too.

Not tilting is difficult. With the likely event of Clontroper5 winning Takoma I don't have a way to go to world's so I have to wait and play for another year. Not having a game group to play hurts me. I get a game in maybe once a week and I am only as good as I am becuase I run through Tactics and scenarios in my head.

I just feel bad because I bungled that game. I wanted that prize. . . Wanted it. Badly

So after dominating my Regionals at Vancouver, I lost in round 3 bad and I just can't stop thinking about it.

How or what do you do to get over a loss?

Find encourage in friends, be glad you did not make this list.

Remember that it's just a game, even if it was a high-level event. There are far more important things in life. I was riding high today after my 10-0 first game and then getting pretty bummed when you were kicking my butt in game 2, and then I got the text from my wife that our daughter was in urgent care...and suddenly the tournament didn't seem quite so important. (She's fine by the way). You played really well in that game against me and deserved the 10-0, no doubt about it. Just remember to "fly casual" and play with the spirit of the game in mind. Know that your opponent is there to have fun more than anything else. My last game was against a fairly newer player and I let him correct some simple mistakes that didn't overall impact the outcome. I didn't go easy on him at all (I won 8-2) but not taking things so seriously led to us both having a really good time. I took 4th, my daughter is doing well, and it was a good day!

i had a similar mistake/loss at a Warhammer GT back in the day. Bugged me for a long time. Best thing i can say is resolve to learn from it and think if you can modify your plans in the future.

Try to focus less on the other games in the tourney and just work on the one in front of you, that helps me. I make fewer mistakes when I don't care how anyone else is doing.

You were flying pretty high in the second match when you were winning. Learning to stay more even through wins will help with the losses too.

Not tilting is difficult. With the likely event of Clontroper5 winning Takoma I don't have a way to go to world's so I have to wait and play for another year. Not having a game group to play hurts me. I get a game in maybe once a week and I am only as good as I am becuase I run through Tactics and scenarios in my head.

I just feel bad because I bungled that game. I wanted that prize. . . Wanted it. Badly

Wait, how is losing a regional tournament preventing you from going to Worlds? You can just sign up for Worlds, I am pretty sure, right?

So after dominating my Regionals at Vancouver, I lost in round 3 bad and I just can't stop thinking about it.

How or what do you do to get over a loss?

Find encourage in friends, be glad you did not make this list.

Schadenfreude is definitely the best medicine.

Remember that it's just a game, even if it was a high-level event. There are far more important things in life. I was riding high today after my 10-0 first game and then getting pretty bummed when you were kicking my butt in game 2, and then I got the text from my wife that our daughter was in urgent care...and suddenly the tournament didn't seem quite so important. (She's fine by the way). You played really well in that game against me and deserved the 10-0, no doubt about it. Just remember to "fly casual" and play with the spirit of the game in mind. Know that your opponent is there to have fun more than anything else. My last game was against a fairly newer player and I let him correct some simple mistakes that didn't overall impact the outcome. I didn't go easy on him at all (I won 8-2) but not taking things so seriously led to us both having a really good time. I took 4th, my daughter is doing well, and it was a good day!

i had a similar mistake/loss at a Warhammer GT back in the day. Bugged me for a long time. Best thing i can say is resolve to learn from it and think if you can modify your plans in the future.

Try to focus less on the other games in the tourney and just work on the one in front of you, that helps me. I make fewer mistakes when I don't care how anyone else is doing.

You were flying pretty high in the second match when you were winning. Learning to stay more even through wins will help with the losses too.

Not tilting is difficult. With the likely event of Clontroper5 winning Takoma I don't have a way to go to world's so I have to wait and play for another year. Not having a game group to play hurts me. I get a game in maybe once a week and I am only as good as I am becuase I run through Tactics and scenarios in my head.

I just feel bad because I bungled that game. I wanted that prize. . . Wanted it. Badly

First, I know how bad it feels when its bad flying that causes you to lose a match.

I would agree with others in saying that you need to try (and I know this can be difficult) to remember that this is just an amazing game we are (I AM) addicted to.

I would also go into any game/event/tourney/worlds/galactic civil war with MUCH lower expectations. Getting the right match-ups, staying on your A game, etc. is so difficult over 2,3 and more games. I'm not saying that I don't want to win a tournament. I'm just saying that I make my expectations much more about playing and having fun over anything else. I always think, "Holy crap I'm so glad I can play with friends, my brother and other really cool folks that love this game!" and "My wife lets me do this!"

Finally, about not having a gaming group. Lyraeus, if you let them the Vassal group is the most amazing, friendly and challenging group to be in. And you are in! Without a doubt that group has stepped up my game more than anything. Being able to connect with people all around the world is really great and rewarding. (And we play for no money, prize support, nada!)

So after dominating my Regionals at Vancouver, I lost in round 3 bad and I just can't stop thinking about it.

How or what do you do to get over a loss?

End everything you say with "et [Name of opponent] delenda est."

"My wife lets me do this"

I think about this every single time...

Learning to stay more even through wins will help with the losses too.

Definitely true. Tournaments are already mentally exhausting and not staying even can add emotional exhaustion as well.

We have season tickets to the Portland Thorns (the most popular professional women's soccer team on the planet). Each game, 20,000 of us pack the stadium and cheer. We are ecstatic when we score and angry when the other team scores. We are happy in the end when we win, frustrated when we tie, and angry when we lose. Going through the extreme emotions is part of the fun but I'm left feeling drained by the end of it...and soccer games are only 90 minutes long. I would seriously become sick if I allowed myself to get carried away like that during an 8 hour Armada tournament. Not only that, but in the stadium, everyone around me is feeling the same emotions because we're all cheering for the same team. This doesn't hold true at Armada tournaments; if I did that in a tournament I'd worry about how the other players saw me--I might come across as gloating if I was winning, or being a sore loser if I wasn't winning. (To be clear, I didn't think at all that you were gloating when you beat me). Anyways I'm still kicking myself over letting Wedge get needlessly killed at the end of my first game. At the time I figured that those 19 points didn't matter since I would get 10-0 no matter what but only 10 points of MoV kept me out of 3rd place...oh well, live and learn.

"My wife lets me do this"

I think about this every single time...

Exactly. Going to regionals in CO after having our 2nd child 6 weeks ago. My wife is amazing!

And I second the Vassal endorsement. Greenknight asked me what list I wanted to practice against last game so I could get better prepared for regionals... Great group on there!

I don't have any of that. I do t have a significant other, don't have much in. The way of friends and I am just plain depressed. I know what went wrong game but I feel like an utter failure. It was mine to lose and I lost. . .

Hey Lyr,

Just wanted to say that losing sucks and I understand your disappointment at the way things went, but this too shall pass. There will be other tournaments, other regionals, for you to learn from this loss and move forward.

More importantly though it sounds like you're unhappy in general, and as someone who has dealt with bouts of depression as well I urge you to really look into seeking help (especially professional if you can).

Even if you want to look at it from a pure Armada perspective you'll tilt way less when you have a more even keel, trust me!

In all seriousness though, talking through your problems and concerns with someone can make all the difference to your quality of life and get you on the right track to where you want to be.

I find it interesting he has resolved I will Tacoma

HERES TO MY OVERCONFIDENCE!!

Also Lyr 3rd place is noT bad

And you just beat JRockNZ in your sleep, so...